Umehluko Phakathi Kokuthanda Umuntu Nokuthandana Naye

-Delile

• Kunjani ukuba sothandweni
• Uzizwa ukhokhisiwe futhi ujabule ngokuzungezile
• Awukwazi ukulinda ukuphinde ubabone - noma ngabe basanda kuhamba
• Konke kuzwakala kujabulisa futhi kukusha
• Ngaso sonke isikhathi wenza isikhathi ngabo
• Awunankinga ngokuzidela ngenxa yabo
• Unobulili obumnandi
• Uzenza zifaneleke
• Kunjani ukuthanda umlingani
• Uvikelekile othandweni lwabo
• Awusizwa isidingo sokubamba imibono yakho
• Ubona (futhi wamukele) okuhle ngokuncane kunokuhle
• Ukusondelana kungadinga umzamo owengeziwe
• Ubudlelwano buthatha umsebenzi omningi
• Uzizwa uxhumeke ngokujulile
• Ingabe omunye ungcono kunomunye?
• Ungabuyela ekuthandaneni nothile?
• Okubalulekile

Uthando lwezithandani luyinjongo eyinhloko kubantu abaningi. Noma ngabe wake wathandana phambilini noma awukaze uthandane okokuqala, ungacabanga ngalolu thando njengesiqophamlando sokuhlangenwe nakho kothando - mhlawumbe ngisho nesiphetho se impilo nakho.

Ukuthandana nothile kungazizwa kujabulisa, noma kujabulise. Kepha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, le mizwa ingahle ivele ibe yinto ezwakala ihlukile kancane. Lolu thando lungabonakala luphakathi noma luzolile. Ungazithola ucabanga ukuthi "Ngiyabathanda" esikhundleni sokuthi "Ngithandana nabo."

Lolu shintsho alusho ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle ebudlelwaneni bakho.

Ukuthanda umuntu esikhundleni sokuzizwa “uthandana” nabo kumane kukhombisa ukuthi imizwa yothando iguquka kanjani phakathi kobudlelwano, ikakhulukazi ubudlelwano besikhathi eside.

Kunjani ukuba sothandweni

Ukuba sothandweni ngokuvamile kubhekisa kuleyo mizwa enamandla ethatha izintambo ekuqaleni kobudlelwano.

Lokhu kufaka phakathi:

• ukuthatheka
• injabulo
• injabulo nokwethuka
• ukukhanga ngokocansi nenkanuko

Nakhu ukuthi le mizwa ingahle ibukeke kanjani ekusebenzeni.

Uzizwa ukhokhisiwe futhi ujabule ngokuzungezile

Kungase kungabonakali njengokufana nakho, kodwa ukuba sothandweni kuyinqubo ethile yesayensi. Ukuwela othandweni kufaka ama-hormone amaningi, angakhulisa imizwa yakho futhi ayenze iguquke kakhulu.

Uma useduze komuntu omthandayo, ukwanda kwe-dopamine ne-norepinephrine kuholela emizweni ye:

• ubumnandi
• giddiness
• injabulo yokwesaba
• injabulo

Ukwehla kwe-serotonin kungabhebhezela imizwa yokuthatheka.

Ama-hormone ocansi, afana ne-testosterone ne-estrogen, nawo adlala indima ngokukhulisa i-libido futhi aholele kwimizwa yenkanuko.

Amanye ama-hormone ayisihluthulelo, njenge-oxytocin ne-vasopressin, asiza ukuqinisa ukuheha kwakho ngokukhuthaza ukwethembana, uzwela, nezinye izinto zokunamathiselwa isikhathi eside.

Awukwazi ukulinda ukuphinde ubabone - noma ngabe basanda kuhamba

Ngisho nangemva kokuchitha usuku lonke nomlingani wakho, usazizwa unesizungu lapho behamba. Uyazibuza ukuthi benzani nokuthi ngabe bacabanga ngawe. Mhlawumbe usuvele unezinhlelo zokuhlangana ngosuku olulandelayo, kodwa usazibuza ukuthi uzophatha kanjani uze ubabone futhi.

Lokhu kujwayelekile uma uthandana. Futhi yize kunempilo impela ukuchitha isikhathi kude nomunye, lokho akusho ukuthi niyakujabulela ukwenza kanjalo.

Uma ungeke uyeke ukucabanga ngabo noma ngabe nihlukene, kungenzeka ukuthi uthokozela leyo njabulo ebuhlungu yokuba sothandweni.

Konke kuzwakala kujabulisa futhi kukusha

Ukuba sothandweni kungashintsha indlela ozibona ngayo izinto. Ngisho nemisebenzi yansuku zonke njengokuya esitolo ijabulisa kakhulu.

Ungahle ubheke ezinye izinto ngamehlo amasha. Abantu abaningi othandweni bazizwa bezimisele kakhulu ukuzama izinto ezintsha, noma izinto ababengazinakile phambilini, ngoba nje umlingani wabo ezijabulela.

Akukho lutho olungalungile ngokuzama izinto ezintsha. Eqinisweni, ukuvuleleka kokuhlangenwe nakho okusha kuyisici esihle okufanele ube naso. Kepha kuhle kakhulu ukuzizwa uthonywe izintshisekelo zozakwethu, ngakho-ke qiniseka ukuthi awuzizwa ucindezelwa ukuthi uhambisane nezinto ongafuni ngempela ukuzenza.

Ngaso sonke isikhathi wenza isikhathi ngabo

Imvamisa, ukuthandana nothile kusho ukuthi ufuna ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi naye ngangokunokwenzeka. Noma ngabe umatasa, mhlawumbe uzithola uhlela uhlelo lwakho ukubona umlingani wakho.

Lokhu kungabandakanya nesifiso sokwazi okwengeziwe ngabo ngokuhlola izintshisekelo zabo. Lapho uthando luhlangene, mhlawumbe bazozizwa ngendlela efanayo ngawe futhi bafune ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi ngokwazi eyakho izintshisekelo.

Konke lokhu kujwayelekile. Kujwayelekile futhi, nokho, ukuthi abantu abathandanayo "bakhohlwe" kafushane ngabangane babo.

Zama ukukhumbula ukuchitha isikhathi nabangane bakho, futhi, esikhundleni sokuvumela uthando lukhukhule ngokuphelele.

Awunankinga ngokuzidela ngenxa yabo

Emjahweni wokuqala wokuba sothandweni, ungazizwa uzinikele ngokuphelele kumlingani wakho, ukulungele ukwenza noma yini nakho konke ukubasiza endaweni enzima noma nokwenza nje izimpilo zabo zibe lula kancane.

Uzwela nokunamathisela kwakho okukhula ngokushesha kungavusa isifiso sakho sokubakhona futhi ubasize noma kunjalo. Kepha ama-hormone abandakanyeka othandweni kwesinye isikhathi angathinta indlela owenza ngayo izinqumo.

Uma uzizwa unesifiso sokwenza okuthile okungasisiphula ngokuphelele noma kushintshe impilo yakho, zinike isikhathi ucabangisise ngakho.

Ngemuva kokucabanga, ungahle ufune ukushiya umsebenzi wakho uhambe nomlingani wakho uye ezweni elihlukile. Kepha qiniseka ukuthi ufuna ukukwenza ngempela wena, futhi.

Imihlatshelo ingaba yingxenye yanoma yiluphi uhlobo lothando. Eqinisweni, ophathina abasebenza ukwanelisa izidingo zomunye nomunye bangaba nesibopho esiqinile. Kepha abantu othandweni banomkhuba wokukhokhisa phambili futhi banikeze usizo ngaphandle kokucabanga kabili.

Unobulili obumnandi

Ucansi akudingeki lube yingxenye yobudlelwano bothando. Kepha uma isikhona, ingadlala indima enkulu ekuthandeni othile.

Amandla amahomoni abandakanyekayo angathinta ukushayela kwakho ucansi, kukhulise isifiso sakho ngomlingani wakho kanye nentshisekelo oyitholayo ngesikhathi socansi.

Lapho uqala ukuthandana, ubulili bungasiza futhi ukukhulisa ukusondelana nomlingani wakho. I-chemistry enkulu yezocansi ingakwenza uzizwe kahle ngezocansi futhi ikhulise isifiso sakho sokuqhubeka unayo. Ukufuna ukuhlola izintshisakalo zocansi lomunye nomunye ngokuvamile akulimazi, futhi.

Uzenza zifaneleke

Ukuba sothandweni kungenza kube lula ukucabanga ngezici ezinhle kakhulu zomlingani wakho (amakhono amahle okulalela, ithalente lomculo, ukumamatheka okufudumele) nokugcizelela okungaphansi kokuhle (akubuyisi imibhalo khona manjalo, ukudlala ngothando nabangane bakho).

Kuyinto evamile ukugxila ohlangothini oluhle kakhulu lomuntu lapho uthandana. Kodwa kubalulekile futhi ukubuka amafulegi abomvu noma ukungahambisani kobudlelwano.

Uma abangane bakho bekhomba izinto, cabanga ukuthi bathini. Abathandani nomlingani wakho, ngakho-ke banombono ocacile futhi bangaqaphela izinto ozikhumbulayo.

Kunjani ukuthanda umlingani

Uthando luthatha izinhlobo eziningi, futhi lungashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Lezi ngezinye zezindlela imizwa yakho engashintsha ngazo uma uthanda umlingani wakho kodwa ungazizwa ngempela phakathi thanda nabo.

Uvikelekile othandweni lwabo

Lapho uqala ukuthandana, ungahle ungagcini nje ngokulungiselela umlingani wakho kepha futhi ungafuna ukwethula uhlobo lwakho olufanele.

Isibonelo, ungahlala uzama ukubukeka umuhle kakhulu. Noma mhlawumbe uzama ukufihla lokho okholelwa ukuthi kunamaphutha angahle acishe umlingani wakho.

Kodwa ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, njengoba ubuhlobo bakho buqina, ungazizwa ukhululeke kakhudlwana ukuba nguwe. Awukhathazeki bazokulahla uma ushiya izitsha kusinki noma ukhohlwa ukukhipha udoti. Niyakwamukela ukuthi nobabili niyohlala nivuka ekuseni nomoya.

Lokhu akusho ukuthi awenzi mzamo wokugcina lolu thando futhi ulusize luphumelele. Kusho nje ukuthi ushintshele ekubukeni okungokoqobo esikhundleni sezinguqulo ezihlosiwe zomunye nomunye.

Awusizwa isidingo sokubamba imibono yakho

Uma uthandana nothile, kulula ukuthatha imibono yakhe njengeyakho. Kwesinye isikhathi ungahle ungakuqapheli ngokuphelele lokhu.

Ungakuthola kulula ukwaba obala ngemizwa yakho nomlingani wakho omthandayo futhi ozizwa ukhululekile ngaye. Uthando luvame ukuletha umuzwa wokulondeka, ngakho-ke ungahle ungazizwa sengathi udinga ukufihla imizwa noma imibono yakho ukuvikela ubudlelwano.

Noma ngabe kukhona ukungavumelani okuncane, uyazi ukuthi ungakhuluma ngakho.

Ubona (futhi wamukele) okuhle ngokuncane kunokuhle

Umlingani wakho, njengawe, ungumuntu ongaphelele. Banobuntu obuhle, kunjalo, okungenzeka ukuthi kukusize wathandana nabo. Kepha kungenzeka babe nezici ezithile zobuntu noma imikhuba ongazitholi zikhulu kangako.

Ngisho nezinto ebezibonakala zithandeka lapho niqala ukuthandana, njengokuthi baxubha kanjani amazinyo kusinki wasekhishini, zingaba yinto obubula ngayo ugingqe amehlo akho.

Ukuthanda umuntu kudinga ukuthi umbone ngokuphelele futhi wamukele zonke izingxenye zakhe, njengoba nje benibona futhi benamukela nonke. Amaphutha amancane kaningi awabalulekile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Kepha uma okuthile kukukhathaza, mhlawumbe uzozizwa ukhululekile ngokwanele ukukhuluma ngakho futhi usebenze ukukhuthazana nokuxhasana ngokukhula komuntu siqu.

Lokhu akubandakanyi amafulegi abomvu abomvu noma izimpawu zokuhlukunyezwa. Hlala njalo ufinyelela kochwepheshe uma ngabe ukuhlukunyezwa kukhona.

Ukusondelana kungadinga umzamo owengeziwe

Lapho uthandana kabi nomlingani wakho, mhlawumbe ubuya ocansini ngaso sonke isikhathi. Njengoba ubuhlobo bakho buzinza, ngokuqinisekile usaya ocansini, kepha mhlawumbe kaningi kaningi noma ngokuqina okuncane.

Isikhathi sokuqala lapho ulele ngaphandle kocansi, noma ukuchitha ubusuku wedwa, kungahle kubonakale sengathi ulahlekelwe okuthile. Ungase ukhathazeke nangokuthi ubudlelwano abuhluleki.

Kepha imvamisa lokhu kusho ukuthi izidingo zempilo zikwenze kwadingeka ukuhlela isikhathi nomlingani wakho.Ukuya ocansini kungenzeka kungenzeki kaningi, kepha umzamo owenzayo wokuxhuma ngokuseduze ungenza lezo zikhathi zibe ngcono kakhulu.

Ubudlelwano buthatha umsebenzi omningi

Kulula ukunikeza ubuhlobo bakho bonke uma uyinhloko phezu kwezithende othandweni. Ubudlelwano bungabonakala buhamba kahle ngokushelela, noma bube namaphutha, futhi nobabili nibonakala nisekhasini elilodwa ngakho konke.

Lokhu akulondolozeki ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ekugcineni ungadinga ukubeka phambili umlingani wakho kancane ukunakekela impilo yansuku zonke.

Ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye kungabonakala kungokwemvelo futhi kulula, ikakhulukazi uma nobabili nimatasa noma nikhathele. Kepha uthando lusho ukuthi uqhubeka uzama futhi wenze umzamo wokukhombisa ukuthi uyakhathala.

Uzizwa uxhumeke ngokujulile

Ukuthanda umuntu kungabandakanya umuzwa wokuxhumana okuqinile nokwethembana. Uyamazi umlingani wakho kahle ngokwanele ukuthi angalungisa akuthandayo nangakuthandi, amanani, namandla akhe ngaphandle kokucabanga kwesibili.

Cishe bangumuntu wokuqala ophendukela kuye lapho uzizwa uphansi futhi ungumuntu wokuqala ofuna ukuhlanganyela naye impumelelo yakho nezifiso zakho. Uyiqembu. Kwesinye isikhathi ungaze uzizwe njengeyunithi eyodwa.

Ingabe omunye ungcono kunomunye?

Ngakho-ke, uyazi ukuthi uyamthanda umlingani wakho, kepha ucabanga ukuthi kungenzeka ukuthi awuyena phakathi thanda nabo futhi.

Kulungile impela lokho. Eqinisweni, ungazizwa ukhululeke kancane ukwazi ukuthi amahomoni akho azinzile kancane.

Abanye abantu bakhetha injabulo yokuba sothandweni. Abanye bakhetha ukuxhumana okusondele, okujulile okuhambisana nothando lwesikhathi eside. Abantu abaningi basebenzela ubudlelwano besikhathi eside ngenxa yalesi sizathu.

Okufunayo ebudlelwaneni kungenza omunye abonakale engcono kunomunye, kepha ubudlelwane obunempilo bungenzeka nganoma yikuphi.

iphakamisa ukuthi abantu abaningi bafuna isehlukaniso ngemuva kokuthandana. Kepha angisazizwa phakathi uthando alusho ukuthi kufanele ushiye umlingani wakho noma ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho buzophela. Kusho nje ukuthi ungadinga ukufaka umzamo omncane owengeziwe wokuvuselela izinto.

Ungabuyela ekuthandaneni nothile?

Ungase uzizwe udabukile noma uzisole uma uzwa ukuthi ubudlelwano bakho sebulahlekelwe yi “nhlansi” ehambisana nokuba sothandweni. Mhlawumbe ufuna ukuthi ucansi luzenzekele, noma uzizwe ujabule ngokubona umlingani wakho esikhundleni sokunethezeka.

Ukukhuluma nomeluleki wezobudlelwano kungakusiza uvuselele umuzwa wokuba sothandweni, kepha lawa macebiso angasiza futhi:

• Hlala unesithakazelo emicabangweni nasemizweni yabo. Ungakhohlwa ngokungena kwansuku zonke. Buza ukuthi usuku lwabo luhamba kanjani, uqiniseke ukuthi ulalela ngempela impendulo yabo.
• Beka isikhathi ndawonye, ​​kufaka phakathi ukusondelana. Lokhu kungasho ukuphuma emcimbini womsebenzi ngaphambi kwesikhathi noma ukuthatha isheke lemvula kulawo macebo we-movie nomngani wakho.
• Ungakhohlwa imisebenzi yesondlo. Cabanga ngobudlelwano bakho njengemoto othembele kuyo ukufika nokubuya emsebenzini. Ukuze uqhubeke, kufanele uthole ushintsho lwamafutha njalo, ujikeleze amathayi, njalo njalo. Nikeza ubudlelwano bakho izingoma ezijwayelekile ngokwenza umzamo oqondile wokukhulumisana ngokukhululekile futhi unikeze uthando. Lokhu akudingeki ukuthi kube yizibonisi ezinkulu, ezingaphezulu. Ukubanga ukubamukela ekhaya kungahamba ibanga elide.

Okubalulekile

Ngemuva kokudlula ezigabeni zokuqala zothando lokuthatheka, imizwa yakho ngomlingani wakho ingahle yehle kakhulu. Ungahle ungalangazeleli inkampani yabo ngendlela efanayo. Eqinisweni, ungajabulela nokuhlala ndawonye isikhathi.

Ungakhathazeki. Lokhu kuhle impela, futhi akudingeki ukuthi kupelile ukuphela kwezinto.

Uthando lwesikhathi eside lubandakanya ukuzibophezela. Uma wena nozakwenu ninikela umzamo wokugcina isibopho senu, okungenani, kungenzeka nibe nobudlelwano obuqinile. Futhi ungakugcina lokho othandweni uzizwe uphila, futhi.

UCrystal Raypole wake wasebenza njengombhali nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Imikhakha yakhe enentshisekelo ifaka izilimi nezincwadi zase-Asia, ukuhunyushwa kwesiJapane, ukupheka, isayensi yemvelo, ukuzethemba ngocansi, nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukhethekile, uzibophezele ekusizeni ukunciphisa ukucwaswa okuzungeze izingqinamba zezempilo yengqondo.