Ukucabanga Okumnyama Nokumhlophe Kukulimaza Kanjani (Nalokho Ongakwenza Ukukuguqula)

-Delile

• Ukuthi kuzwakala kanjani
• Ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe kukulimaza kanjani?
• Kungalimaza ubudlelwane bakho
• Kungakuvimba ekufundeni
• Kungakhawulela umsebenzi wakho
• Kungaphazamisa imikhuba yokudla enempilo
• Ingabe ukucabanga komnyama nomhlophe kuyisibonakaliso sezinye izimo?
• I-Narcissism (NPD)
• I-Borderline personality disorder (BPD)
• Isifo sokucindezela ngokweqile (OCD)
• Ukukhathazeka nokudangala
• Ubandlululo nokuzonda abantu bobulili obufanayo
• Yini ebangela ukucabanga kwabamnyama nabamhlophe?
• Ungakushintsha kanjani ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe?
• Okubalulekile

Ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe ukuthambekela kokucabanga ngokweqile: Ngiyimpumelelo ekhazimulayo, noma Ngiyisehluleki ngokuphelele. Isoka lami li-angel, noma Ungusathane osenyameni.

Le ndlela yokucabanga, ebizwa yi-American Psychological Association nayo eyibiza ngokuthi ukucabanga okunamandla noma okuhlukanisiwe, ithathwa njengokuhlanekezelwa kwengqondo ngoba kusenza singaboni umhlaba njengoba uvame ukuba njalo: uyinkimbinkimbi, unenkinga futhi ugcwele yonke imithunzi ephakathi.

Ukucabanga konke noma okungenalutho akusivumeli ukuthi sithole indawo ephakathi nendawo. Futhi ake sibhekane nakho: Kunesizathu sokuthi iningi labantu alihlali e-Everest noma eMariana Trench. Kunzima ukondla impilo kulawo mahaba.

Iningi lethu lihlanganyela ekucabangeni okunamandla ngezikhathi ezithile. Eqinisweni, abanye ochwepheshe bacabanga ukuthi leli phethini kungenzeka ukuthi linomsuka wokusinda komuntu - impi yethu noma impendulo yendiza.

Kepha uma ukucabanga ngombala omnyama nomhlophe kuba umkhuba, kunga:

• kulimaze impilo yakho engokwenyama nengokwengqondo
• konakalisa umsebenzi wakho
• kubangele ukuphazamiseka ebudlelwaneni bakho

(Qaphela: Kunengxoxo emkhakheni wezempilo yezocansi kanye nempilo yengqondo NGOKUTHI ubhekise ekucabangeni okunamandla noma okupholisiwe ngokokucabanga 'kokumnyama nokumhlophe' njengoba kungatolikwa njengombala oqonde umbala nohlanga. Kaningi, ochwepheshe bakubiza ngokuthi ukweqisa noma ukuhlukaniswa.)

Lapha, sixoxa:

• indlela yokubona imicabango ehlukanisiwe
• abangakutshela kona ngempilo yakho
• ongakwenza ukuze uhlakulele umbono olinganiselayo

Ukuthi kuzwakala kanjani

Amagama athile angakuxwayisa ukuthi imicabango yakho iya ngokweqisa.

• njalo
• angikaze
• akunakwenzeka
• inhlekelele
• uthukuthele
• konakele
• iphelele

Vele, lawa magama awamabi ngokwawo. Kodwa-ke, uma uqaphela ukuthi zilokhu zivela emicabangweni nasezingxoxweni zakho, kungaba yisignali yokuthi usuthathe umbono omnyama nomhlophe ngokuthize.

Ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe kukulimaza kanjani?

Kungalimaza ubudlelwane bakho

Ubudlelwano benzeka phakathi kwabantu, noma ngabe babonana njengomndeni, abangane, omakhelwane, osebenza nabo, noma enye into ngokuphelele.

Futhi ngenxa yokuthi abantu banezikhathi ezithile nezimbi (ukuyisho kahle), kanye nama-quirks nokungahambelani, izingxabano ziyavela.

Uma sihlangabezana nezingxabano ezijwayelekile nokucabanga okungaqondakali, mhlawumbe sizofinyelela eziphethweni ezingalungile ngabanye abantu, futhi sizolahlekelwa ngamathuba okuxoxisana nokuyekethisa.

Okubi kakhulu ukuthi ukucabanga komuntu omnyama nomhlophe kungenza umuntu enze izinqumo ngaphandle kokucabanga ngomthelela waleso sinqumo kuye nakwabanye abathintekayo.

Izibonelo zingafaka:

• ngokuzumayo kususwa abantu esigabeni "somuntu omuhle" kuya esigabeni "somuntu omubi"
• ukuyeka umsebenzi noma ukuxosha abantu
• ukuchitha ubuhlobo
• ukugwema ukuxazululwa kwangempela kwezingqinamba

Ukucabanga okunamandla kuvame ukushintsha phakathi kokucabanga nokwenza abanye babe namandla. Ukuba sebudlelwaneni nomuntu ocabanga ngokweqile kungaba nzima impela ngenxa yemijikelezo ephindaphindwayo yesiphithiphithi esingokomzwelo.

Kungakuvimba ekufundeni

Ngimubi ezibalweni. Iningi lothisha bezibalo bezwa lesi simemezelo kaningi phakathi nonyaka wesikole.

Kungumkhiqizo we impumelelo noma ukwehluleka i-mindset, okuwukuphuma kwemvelo kohlelo lokugreda oluchaza ukwehluleka (amaphuzu ka-0-59) njengaphezulu uhhafu isilinganiso sokugreda.

Ezinye izifundo zine-kanambambili elula yokukala ukufunda: ukuphasa noma ukwehluleka. Enye noma enye.

Kulula kakhulu ukuwela ekucabangeni okunamandla ngokufeza kwakho izifundo.

Isimo sokukhula, esiya ngokuya sithandwa kakhulu, sikhuthaza abafundi ukuthi babone inqubekelaphambili eyandayo yokubusa - bazibone besondela eduze kokuba bakwazi ukwenza lokho abazimisele ukukwenza.

Kungakhawulela umsebenzi wakho

Ukucabanga okunamandla kwenza futhi kunamathele ezigabeni ezichazwe ngokuqinile: Umsebenzi wami. Umsebenzi wabo. Indima yami. Indima yabo.

Ezimweni eziningi zomsebenzi wokubambisana lapho izindima ziguquka, zanda, futhi zakha kabusha, ukuba nemikhawulo eqinile kungagcina wena nenhlangano ekufinyeleleni ezinhlosweni.

Uhlolisise ukusebenza kwesitudiyo sefilimu saseDashi.

Kutholile ukuthi ukungaqondakali kwezinye izindima nezibopho zabantu kunemiphumela emihle jikelele kuphrojekthi yokudala, yize ezinye izingxabano zivele njengoba abantu bekhulisa ububanzi bomsebenzi wabo.

Ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe nakho kungakhawulela ukuthi ucabanga kanjani ngamathuba akho emisebenzi.

Ngesikhathi senkinga yezezimali ka-2008, abantu abaningi balahlekelwa yimisebenzi ababeyibambe isikhathi eside.

Yonke imikhakha yehlise noma yeka ukuqasha. Le nkinga iphoqe abantu ukuthi babheke kabanzi amasethi abo amakhono, kunokuba babambelele ngokuqinile embonweni oqinile walokho abangakwenza.

Ukucabanga ngomsebenzi wakho njengoba ulungisiwe futhi uchazwe ngokuncane kungadala ukuthi ulahlekelwe ngamathuba ongawathola ekucebisa, ngokoqobo nangokomfanekiso.

Kungaphazamisa imikhuba yokudla enempilo

Ucwaningo oluningi luye lwathola ukuxhumana phakathi kokuphazamiseka kokudla nokucabanga okungafani.

Ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe kungenza abantu benze lokhu:

• bheka ukudla okuthile njengokuhle noma okubi
• babheka imizimba yabo njengephelele noma evukelayo
• udle ngemijikelezo ye-binge-purge, yonke-noma-lutho

Abaphenyi bathole nokuthi ukucabanga okungajwayelekile kungaholela abantu ekwakheni imingcele eqinile yokudla, okungenza kube nzima ukugcina ubudlelwane obunempilo nokudla.

Ingabe ukucabanga komnyama nomhlophe kuyisibonakaliso sezinye izimo?

Ukucabanga okunye okumnyama nokumhlophe kujwayelekile, kepha izindlela zokucabanga eziphikisanayo ezihlotshaniswa nezimo eziningi.

I-Narcissism (NPD)

I-NPD yisimo esidala:

• umuzwa wehaba wokuzibona ubalulekile
• isidingo esijulile sokunakwa
• ukungabi nozwelo kwabanye

Ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe kungenye yezimpawu zalesi sifo sobuntu.

bathole ukuthi ukuthambekela kokucabanga okunamandla kwenza kube nzima kakhulu kubantu abane-NPD ukuthola usizo abaludingayo ngoba bangahlehlisa futhi balahle abelaphi ngokushesha okukhulu.

I-Borderline personality disorder (BPD)

I-National Institutes of Mental Health ichaza i-BPD njengesifo sengqondo esibangela abantu ukuba “babhekane neziqephu ezinkulu zentukuthelo, ukudangala nokukhathazeka.”

Abantu abane-BPD:

• imvamisa iba nezinkinga zokulawula izifiso
• bavame ukuzwa ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe
• ingase ilwe nobudlelwano phakathi kwabantu

Eqinisweni, bathole ukuthi ukuthambekela kokucabanga okuphikisanayo kwe-polar kusenhliziyweni yezinkinga abantu abaningi abane-BPD abanazo ebuhlotsheni babo.

Isifo sokucindezela ngokweqile (OCD)

Abanye bacabanga ukuthi abantu abane-OCD bavame ukucabanga ngamaphethini konke-noma-lutho ngoba amandla okubeka okuthile esigabeni esiqinile angabanika umuzwa wokulawula izimo zabo.

Ukucabanga okunamandla kwenza ukuthi abantu bakwazi ukugcina ukufuna ukuphelela okuqinile, futhi lokho kungenza kube nzima ukuthola usizo.

Uma umuntu enokubuyela emuva, kungaba lula ukubona lokho njengokuhluleka ngokuphelele kokwelashwa esikhundleni sokukubheka njenge-hiccup yesikhashana ekuqhubekeni kwenani jikelele.

Ukukhathazeka nokudangala

Abantu abasengozini yokukhathazeka nokudangala kungenzeka babe nokuthambekela kokucabanga ngokuphelele.

Ucwaningo lwango-2018 oluhlolisise inkulumo yemvelo yabantu abanokukhathazeka nokudangala lithole ukusetshenziswa kaningi kakhulu kolimi "lwe-absolutist" phakathi kwabo kunamaqembu alawulayo.

Ukucabanga konke noma kungenalutho nakho kungadala ukuthi sikhanye, okungadala ukukhathazeka noma ukucindezeleka.

Kuyafaneleka futhi ukuphawula ukuthi kuthole ukuxhumana phakathi kokucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe nokuphelela okungalungile.

bathole ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe kukhona lapho abantu bebhekene nokukhathazeka nokudangala.

Ubandlululo nokuzonda abantu bobulili obufanayo

Kucatshangwe ukuthi ukucabanga okunamandla kungahle kube yimpande yezinye zezinhlaka zethu zomphakathi eziphikelelayo.

Imibono yobandlululo, ukugqagqana, kanye nobungqingili imvamisa igxila kumaqembu "kuma" nakuma "out" emphakathini.

Le mibono ivame ukubandakanya ukuveza izimfanelo ezingezinhle cishe kuphela eqenjini "lokuphuma".

Izinkolelo ezingezinhle zivame ukusetshenziselwa ukuchaza amalungu alawo maqembu akholelwa ukuthi awafani nawo.

Yini ebangela ukucabanga kwabamnyama nabamhlophe?

Yize ukuphazamiseka kobuntu nezimo zempilo yengqondo kwesinye isikhathi kuyizakhi zofuzo, alukho ucwaningo olwanele lokusho ngokusobala ukuthi ukucabanga kwabamnyama nabamhlophe uqobo kuyifa.

Kodwa-ke, kuye kwaxhunyaniswa nobuntwana noma ukuhlukumezeka kwabantu abadala.

Abaphenyi bacabanga ukuthi lapho sihlangabezana nokuhlukumezeka, singaqala izindlela zokucabanga ezinjengecebo lokubhekana noma ukuzama ukuzivikela ekulimaleni okuzayo.

Ungakushintsha kanjani ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe?

Ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe kungenza izinto zibe nzima kuwe uqobo nangokomsebenzi, futhi kuxhunyaniswe nezimo zempilo yengqondo ezingelaphekayo.

Ngalezi zizathu, kubalulekile ukukhuluma nodokotela wezengqondo noma uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo uma ubona ukuthi ukucabanga ngokweqile kuthinta impilo yakho, ubudlelwano, noma imizwa yakho.

Ungahle ufune ukusebenza nomuntu oqeqeshwe, ngoba kufakazelwe ukuthi kuyasebenza ekubhekaneni nokucabanga okungafani.

Ungakuthola futhi kuwusizo ukuzama ezinye zalezi zindlela:

• Zama ukwehlukanisa okwenzayo kulokho oyikho. Lapho silinganisa ukusebenza kwethu kumethrikhi eyodwa nokubaluleka kwethu konke, sizoba sengozini yokucabanga kwabamnyama nabamhlophe.
• Zama izinketho zohlu. Uma ukucabanga kwabamnyama nabamhlophe ukhiye imiphumela emibili noma amathuba, njengokuzivocavoca, bhala phansi ezinye izinketho eziningi ongazicabanga. Uma unenkinga yokuqalisa, zama ukuqhamuka nezinye izindlela ezintathu ekuqaleni.
• Zijwayeze izikhumbuzo zangempela. Uma uzizwa ukhubazekile ngokucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe, yisho noma ubhale izitatimende ezinamaqiniso amancane, njenge Kunezindlela eziningana engingaxazulula ngazo le nkinga, Ngizothatha isinqumo esingcono uma ngithatha isikhathi ukuthola ulwazi oluthe xaxa, futhi Bobabili kungenzeka ukuthi baneqiniso.
• Thola ukuthi abanye abantu bacabangani. Ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe kungakwenza ungaboni izinto ngombono womunye umuntu. Uma uxabana nothile, buza ngomoya ophansi imibuzo ecacisayo ukuze ufike ekuqondeni okucacile kombono wakhe.

Okubalulekile

Ukucabanga okumnyama nokumhlophe ukuthambekela kokucabanga ngokweqile. Yize kuyinto ejwayelekile ngezikhathi ezithile, ukuhlakulela iphethini lokucabanga okungafani kungaphazamisa impilo yakho, ubudlelwano nomsebenzi wakho.

Kuhlotshaniswa nokukhathazeka, ukudangala, kanye nokuphazamiseka okuningana kobuntu, ngakho-ke uma uzithola uphazanyiswa ukucabanga kokumnyama nokumhlophe, kubalulekile ukukhuluma nomelaphi.

Umelaphi angakusiza ukuthi ufunde amasu wokuguqula kancane kancane le ndlela yokucabanga futhi uphile impilo enempilo neyanelisa kakhulu.