Ongakwenza Uma Ungenelisekile Ngocansi Ebudlelwaneni Bakho

-Delile

• Yini wena nomlingani wakho eniyibheka iyisicefe?
• Izingqinamba ezibangela ucansi oluyisidina
• Ukuxoxa ngokuthi uzizwa kanjani nomlingani wakho
• Izindlela zokunonga impilo yakho yezocansi
• Funa ukwelashwa ngezinkinga zezokwelapha
• Yamukela ukuxhumana ngezocansi
• Yenza isikhathi sokuya ocansini ngothando
• Zama ukulingisa ekamelweni
• Hlola amanzi ngamathoyizi ocansi
• Hlola amakinki akho (nawomlingani wakho)
• Khuluma nochwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo
• Ukudla okudlela endlini

Ubulili bungaba bothando, bube mnandi, noma bujabulise, kepha kwesinye isikhathi akuzona lezo zinto. Kwesinye isikhathi kuba nje, kahle, kuyisicefe.Ngokwemininingwane ekuJournal of Sex Research, amaphesenti angama-27 abesifazane kanye namaphesenti angama-41 abesilisa abanelisekile ngokocansi ebudlelwaneni babo bamanje.

Kusukela ekuntulekeni kwesikhathi kuya ezimeni zezokwelapha, kunezizathu eziningi ezizwakalayo zokuthi kungani inhlansi ingahle ingasekho egumbini lokulala.

Sizongena phakathi kwamashidi ukuze sixoxe ngezinkinga ezithinta ucansi oluyisicefe, ukuthi singaxoxa kanjani ngokungagculiseki ngokocansi nomlingani wakho, nezindlela zokunonga impilo yakho yezocansi futhi.

Yini wena nomlingani wakho eniyibheka iyisicefe?

Ukuthandwa nezidingo zocansi kuyahlukahluka, ngakho-ke okwenelisa omunye umuntu kungahle kungamenelisi omunye. Kepha abantu abehlukene abangasenelisekanga ngokocansi ebudlelwaneni babo kungenzeka babhekane nezinkinga ezifanayo.

Ibhizinisi lempilo lingasho ukuthi uchitha isikhathi esincane ekamelweni. Ubulili bungazizwa bufana nomsebenzi nje kunomsebenzi omnandi. Mhlawumbe ubulokhu unohlobo olufanayo nesitayela sobulili iminyaka. Zonke lezi zinto zingenza ucansi luzizwe lungathandeki kangako.

Uma ulahlekelwa yinhlansi phakathi kwakho nomlingani wakho, awuwedwa. Kwabanye abantu, ukuphela kwesigaba se-honeymoon kukhombisa ukuphela kocansi olujabulisayo. Kepha ungathola izindlela zokubhekana nale nkinga.

Izingqinamba ezibangela ucansi oluyisidina

Kungazizwa kuthena amandla ukuthola izizathu zokuthi impilo yakho yezocansi iguqukile, kepha kunezimbangela eziningi zokungeneliseki ngokocansi.

Izimo ezijwayelekile zezokwelapha zingaba yimpande yempilo yocansi enganelisi. Isibonelo, ukunakekelwa kokushoda kokungasebenzi kahle (ADHD) kungadala ukungasebenzi ngocansi ngezindlela ezahlukahlukene.

Othile one-ADHD angaba ocansini futhi abe ngokuya egxile kwezocansi esikhundleni somlingani wakhe. I-ADHD nayo ingaholela ebungqingili, okungadala uqhekeko phakathi kwabalingani abangasenayo i-libido efanayo.

Kubantu abanama-vaginas, ubuhlungu ngesikhathi socansi akuyona into engavamile ngokuphelele, futhi ubuhlungu ngesikhathi sokungena kwesitho sangasese kungaholela ekugwemeni ucansi. Abantu abane-penises nabo bangathola ubuhlungu ngesikhathi socansi. Lapho othile egwema ukuya ocansini, umlingani wakhe angazizwa enganelisekile noma engafuneki.

Ezinye izimo zempilo yengqondo, ezinjengokudangala nokukhathazeka, nazo zingabonakala egumbini lokulala. Ucwaningo oluthile lwathola ukuthi izimpawu zokuqina zokucindezeleka zihlotshaniswa nokwehla kokwaneliseka kocansi nobudlelwano.

Olunye ucwaningo olwenziwe ngabahlanganyeli abangaphezu kwama-93,000 lwathola ukuthi ukuncipha kokulala ngenxa yokuqwasha kwaholela ekwehliseni umsebenzi wezocansi.

Ukuxoxa ngokuthi uzizwa kanjani nomlingani wakho

Uma uzwa sengathi impilo yakho yezocansi iye yaba yisicefe, isinyathelo sokuqala nesibaluleke kakhulu ingxoxo evulekile, nethembekile nomlingani wakho. Ukuxhumana kuyingxenye ebalulekile yokuba nobulili obuhle nobumnandi.

Kubalulekile ukusondela engxoxweni ngombono wokungahluleli. Uma ushintsho empilweni yakho yezocansi lubangelwa inkinga yezokwelapha, ukukhombisa ukwesekwa kwakho kungenza umehluko omkhulu kumlingani wakho.

Nazi ezinye izindlela zokuqalisa ingxoxo:

• “Ngibonile ukuthi izinto zibukeka zehlukile phakathi kwethu ekamelweni lokulala muva nje. Ngabe konke kuhamba kahle? ”
• “Asisakwazi ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi sobudlelwano ndawonye njengakuqala. Ngikukhathalele uma sikhuluma ngakho? ”
• “Ngiyikhumbula impela inhlansi phakathi kwethu, futhi ngingathanda ukukuthola lokho. Singazama izinto ezintsha ezimbalwa ekamelweni lokulala? ”

Uma ulinyazwe izinguquko empilweni yakho yezocansi, kubalulekile ukwazisa umlingani wakho. Ukuveza imizwa yakho ngokusobala kunganikeza umlingani wakho ithuba lokwenza izinguquko ezinhle.

Izindlela zokunonga impilo yakho yezocansi

Uma unganelisekile ngempilo yakho yezocansi, kunezinto eziningi ongazenza ukubuyisa isasasa egumbini lokulala.

Funa ukwelashwa ngezinkinga zezokwelapha

Uma kunesizathu sezokwelapha sezinguquko empilweni yakho yezocansi, ukufuna ukwelashwa kungakhuphula ukwaneliseka kwakho. Isibonelo, ngithole ukuthi ukwelashwa kokuziphatha kwengqondo kuthuthukisa ukusebenza kocansi, ukudangala, nezimpawu zokukhathazeka kubantu abane-vaginismus.

Yamukela ukuxhumana ngezocansi

Into elula njengokuntuleka kokuxhumana ingenza umehluko phakathi kocansi oluhle nolubi. Izici eziningi zinomthelela ekwanelisekeni ngokocansi, futhi ukuxoxa ngokuthandayo, ongakuthandi, kanye nezinto ozithandayo kungasiza umlingani wakho ukuthi anelise kangcono.

Yenza isikhathi sokuya ocansini ngothando

Uma wena nomlingani wakho ninenkinga yokuthola isikhathi socansi, kungakushiya uzizwe unganelisekile. Kungenza futhi ucansi luzwakale njengomsebenzi, into “okufanele uyenze”

Ukubeka eceleni isikhathi sokujabulela ucansi futhi kungakusiza ugcine izinto zijabulisa futhi ziyanelisa.

Zama ukulingisa ekamelweni

Ngokusho kocwaningo lwango-2017, cishe abantu abangamaphesenti angama-22 bazamile ukulingisa. Ngokulingisa, ungakha futhi ulingise izimo zocansi ezijabulisayo endaweni ethembekile.

Uma nobabili nobabili nivulelekile ngokuzama, ukudlala indima kungasiza ekuthuthukiseni ukuxhumana kwezocansi nokuthanda egumbini lokulala elinesicefe.

Hlola amanzi ngamathoyizi ocansi

Amathoyizi ocansi angaba ukwengeza okuhle empilweni yezocansi enempilo. Kunezinhlobo eziningi zamathoyizi ocansi emakethe, futhi ukuthola eyodwa evuselela bobabili abalingani kungenza ubulili obuhle bube ngcono kakhulu.

Hlola amakinki akho (nawomlingani wakho)

Ucansi lwe-Kinky alusona isimemezelo njengakuqala. Imibhangqwana eminingi ihlanganyela ekuhloleni i-kink evumayo njengokungezelela okuthokozisayo empilweni yabo yezocansi.

Imvume, imingcele, kanye nokuxhumana yizinto ezibaluleke kakhulu lapho uhlola ama-kinks.

Khuluma nochwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo

Umelaphi wezocansi angakusiza wena nomlingani wakho ukuvula nokuxazulula izingqinamba nokubuyisa inkanuko empilweni yakho yezocansi. ukhombisile nokuthi ukuthuthukisa ukuhlakanipha ngokomoya nangokomzwelo kungasiza ekuthuthukiseni ukwaneliseka kwezocansi.

Ukudla okudlela endlini

Ucansi lungaqala ukuzizwa ludinekile ngezizathu eziningi, kufaka phakathi ukungabi nesikhathi, uthando olulahlekile, noma isimo sezokwelapha. Ngokuxhumana okuthembekile namathuluzi afanele, ungabuyisa isifiso empilweni yakho yezocansi.