Lokho Ukulandisa 'Kwabazalwa Ngalendlela' Kungalungile Ngokuba Nezimpumputhe

-Delile

• Umlando Omfushane Wokuzalwa Ngale Ndlela ’
• Izingxabano ezimelene 'nokuzalwa Ngale ndlela'
• Ngakho… Ngabe Abantu Bazalwa BeQueer?
• Sivelaphi la?
• Buyekeza kwe-

Phakamisa isandla sakho uma uke wamemeza, wanyakaza, futhi wacwebezela kanye nezinhlamvu zengoma ethi "Ngisendleleni elungile, ingane ngazalelwa ngale ndlela." Kungenzeka ukuthi isandla sakho siphakeme. Kodwa-ke, noma kungenjalo, kungenzeka ukuthi ujwayelene nalokho obekuyimpi enzima cishe iminyaka eyikhulu: Wazalwa ngale ndlela.

Njengoba silula nje, lesi siqubulo sisakazwe izishoshovu zamalungelo ezitabane zokushintsha kwezenhlalo, ezomthetho, nezepolitiki ngengoma, izimpawu, nenkulumo. Futhi ngezindlela eziningi, ngempumelelo - "ukuzalwa ngale ndlela" kwakuwumugqa wethegi ovelele wokunyakaza kokulingana emshadweni, phela.

Noma kunjalo, le nkulumo ayinawo amaphutha ayo. "Lapho ukulandisa 'kokuzalwa ngale ndlela' kungafinyeleli khona," kusho uRae McDaniel, ongumeluleki wezempilo onelayisense futhi owelapha ubulili nowezocansi ozinze eChicago. Futhi lokho kuntuleka kwe-nuance empeleni kungase kubambele abantu abampofu inkululeko eyengeziwe.

Umlando Omfushane Wokuzalwa Ngale Ndlela ’

Inkulumo ethi 'ngazalwa ngale ndlela' yaqala ukungena kwisichazamazwi se-queer ngokukhululwa komculi we-gospel nesishoshovu se-AIDS, ingoma kaCarl Bean yango-1977, "Ngazalwa Ngale Ndlela." Ihambisana namazwi athi "Ngiyajabula, anginandaba, futhi ngiyisitabane, ngazalwa ngale ndlela," le ngoma ibe iculo le-LGBTQ+ lesikhathi sayo. Kamuva, iphinde yagqugquzela i-Lady Gaga ka-2011’Wazalwa Ngale Ndlela, "okusize ukufaka isiqubulo ngomoya opholile, okuyivumela ukuthi iqhubeke njengesikhalazo somphakathi we-queer. (PS, uma ufunda lokhu futhi uzizwa ungekho ngokwanele? Nasi isikhumbuzi sokuthi Ungu.)

Ingqikithi yendaba "yokuzalwa ngale ndlela" ukuthi abantu abanenkani bafanelwe amalungelo ngoba ukumangala kwabo kuyisici esingokwemvelo nesazalwa - ngakho-ke ukwenqabela othile amalungelo ngenxa yokuma kwabo kungamampunge njengokuncisha amalungelo ngenxa yombala wamehlo abo.

Ingxenye yesizathu sokuba kubambezeleke, ngokusho kuka-Jesse Kahn, L.C.S.W., C.S.T., umqondisi kanye nomelaphi wocansi e-The Gender & Sexuality Therapy Center e-NYC, ukuthi kulula kubantu abangewona ama-queer ukuthi bakuqonde, ngakho-ke bazwelane nabo. Ngamanye amagama, uma uqinisile ngokwezakhi zofuzo engakwazi yokukhangwa abantu bobulili obuhlukene kobakho, kulungile, ufanele amalungelo.

Ekuqaleni, abantu abaningi ababemangele nabo babemukela umusho wokubamba ngoba uphikisana ngqo nomlando ovamile wenkolo othi ukumangala kuyindlela yokuphila, kusho uKahn. Umbono wokuthi ukumangala kuyindlela yokukhetha ixhunyaniswe nomqondo wokuthi ukumangala kuyisono - futhi ngenxa yalokho, isono umuntu angasigwema, uma nje benamandla amancane, engeza umelaphi wezocansi oqinisekisiwe nomuntu we-queer uCasey Tanner, MA, LCPC, uchwepheshe wenkampani yomkhiqizo wenjabulo yobumnandi LELO. "Indaba yokuzalwa ngale ndlela iphikisana nalokhu ngokwenqaba umbono wokuthi ukumangala kunobuhlobo namandla okuzimisela, futhi esikhundleni salokho siphakamisa (abantu abakholwayo) ukuthi uNkulunkulu wasenza ngale ndlela," esho. Ngokuqondakalayo, lelo yinothi elikhangayo labantu abayizimpumputhe abahlangabezana nobulili babo njengengxenye yemvelo yabo - ikakhulukazi abantu abayizixhwanguxhwangu emiphakathini yezenkolo.

Izingxabano ezimelene 'nokuzalwa Ngale ndlela'

Yize isiqubulo besiwusizo ngokomlando, kulezi zinsuku, abantu abaningi be-LGBTQ+ bakholelwa ukuthi umushwana obambekayo ubamba inqubekelaphambili yesikhathi eside.

Okokuqala, inika labo ababona ubulili babo noma ubulili njengento ehleliwe, engashintshi, ngenkathi ivimbela labo abathola ubulili babo noma ubulili njengezinto eziguqukayo, eziwuketshezi, eziguqukayo njalo. (Bheka: Kuyini Uketshezi Lwezocansi?)

Inkinga ngalokhu? "Akukho mehluko ekusebenzeni komuntu owazi ukuthi unenkinga eneminyaka emine kanye nomuntu ophuma eminyakeni engama-60," kusho uMcDaniels. Futhi kusula iqiniso lokuthi abantu abaningi abazi ukuthi bamangele hhayi ngoba bakhona hhayi queer… kepha ngoba bakhulele endaweni elandelanayo noma elwa ne-LGBTQ + lapho ukuhlola ubulili noma ubulili bekungeke kuphephe, noma ngoba bekuntuleka ukufinyelela emfundweni noma olimini, bathi. (Udinga isikhumbuzi sokuthi mangaki amagama ahlukene obulili nawobulili akhona? Hlola: LGBTQ+ Glossary of Gender and Sexuality Definitions.)

Umbono "wokuzalwa ngale ndlela" futhi awuzibi iqiniso lokuthi ubulili nobulili kungashintsha ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kwabanye, lokhu kuziphendukela kwemvelo kwenzeka ngoba ulimi lwabo lobulili nobulili seluguqukile, kusho uTanner. “Ulimi oluthinta ubulili nobulili lushintsha ngokushesha, luguquguquka njalo eminyakeni emithathu, ngakho akufanele kusimangaze ukuthi indlela esizichaza ngayo ingase ishintshe ngokushesha ngokuhambisana naleyo nqubekela phambili,” usho kanje. Ngakho-ke, "akuyona neze into engavamile ukuthi abantu bamukele ulimi oluzwakala luhambisana nolwazi lwabo, bese kamuva bathola elinye, igama elihambisanayo," usho kanje.

Kwabanye, ubulili babo noma ubulili buya ngokulula ngoba ubunikazi babo, ukubonakaliswa kwabo, nokuheha kwabo kushintshile ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Ngempela, ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi inkanuko yobulili yinto eguqukayo futhi ekhula ize ibe mdala, ngokusho kocwaningo olulodwa lwango-2019 lwabantu abacishe babe ngu-12,000 abashicilelwe ku Ijenali yocwaningo lwezocansi. (Funda futhi: Kusho Ukuthi Kufakwe "X" Ngamazwi AnjengeWomxn, Folx, neLatinx)

Esinye isizathu esenza ukuthi abanye abantu be-LGBTQ + baphikisane nenkulumo ethi "owazalwa ngale ndlela" yingoba igcina amalungelo asemthethweni ahlobene nezocansi nobulili bomuntu (nesimo somshado), kunokunikeza bonke abantu wonke amalungelo. Ngokuyisisekelo, kuyisimo esincane kakhulu sokukhulula kunokuthi "wonke umuntu ufanelwe amalungelo afanayo."

Ngakho… Ngabe Abantu Bazalwa BeQueer?

Ekugcineni, lo ngumbuzo ongafanele. Kungani? Ngoba ngenkathi umbuzo othi "yini eyenza umuntu aqine?" iyathakazelisa, inkinga ukuthi, lo mbuzo ubuzwa kuphela ngobunikazi obuqanjwe ngaphansi kwesifinyezo se-LGBTQ + futhi ungalokothi ukhulume ngobungqingili. Umbuzo ocabanga ukuthi ubungqingili yinto ejwayelekile, nokuthi noma ikuphi okunye ubulili kuyiphutha elibangelwa imvelo (i-DNA) noma ukunakekelwa (ukuba ngumzali, isiko elizungezile, ukukhuliswa ngokwenkolo, njll.) Ukungahambi kahle. Ngamanye amazwi, lo mbuzo wenza umsebenzi ongcolile we-heteronormativity, okuwumqondo wokuthi wonke umuntu (futhi kufanele) abe) unobulili obuhlukile kanye ne-cisgender (uma ubulili bakho bufana nobulili owabunikezwa ngesikhathi sokuzalwa).

Ukucaca: Lokhu akusho ukuthi ukumangala akuyona into engokwemvelo - kubantu abaningi kakhulu.Esikhundleni salokho, inhloso lapha ukuhlola ukuthi kungani ukuqhubeka nokusebenzisa "ukuzalwa ngale ndlela" njengesikhalo sokuhlangana kugxila kakhulu ekutheni kungani abantu abanesibindi befanelwe amalungelo (ngoba sizalwe ngale ndlela!) Hhayi ngokwanele ukuthi bonke abantu bazowathola nini lawo malungelo amalungelo (okungcono, izolo).

Sivelaphi la?

Noma ngabe uzimele wena, noma uzungezwe abantu abakhona, kubalulekile ukukhumbula ukuthi ukumangala kuhluka kahle. Njengoba uTanner ekubeka, "ayikho indlela eyodwa yokubukeka uthukuthele, uziphathe kabi, wamukele ubungqingili bezocansi, uphume njengomuntu olindile, noma uhlanganise ukumangala." Futhi ngokusikisela ukuthi bonke abantu abanenkani babone ukumangala kwabo njengelungelo lokuzalwa, umlando ozelwe ngale ndlela uphazamisa lelo qiniso.

Ngabe lokho kusho ukuthi sidinga ukucindezela ikhefu ku-Lady Gaga's bop? Cha! Kodwa-ke, it kwenza kusho ukuthi ababambisene beqiniso badinga ukudlulela kude nezizathu ngani umphakathi we-LGBTQ ufanelwe amalungelo, futhi unentshisekelo yokuthola lawo malungelo. (Bheka: Ungaba kanjani yi-Ally eyiqiniso futhi esebenzisekayo)

Buyekeza kwe-