Um, Kungani Abantu Bethola 'Ukufa AmaDoulas'Futhi Kukhulunywa' Ngempilo Yokufa? '

-Delile

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Ake sikhulume ngokufa. Kuzwakala kubuhlungu, akunjalo? Okungenani, yisihloko esingathandeki, futhi iningi lethu eligwema ngokuphelele kuze kube yilapho siphoqeleka ukubhekana naso (i-BTW, yingakho sithatha kanzima ukufa kwabantu abadumile). Indlela yokuphila yakamuva enempilo izama ukukushintsha lokho.

Kubizwa ngokuthi "ukunyakaza okuqondile kokufa" noma "ukuphila kahle kokufa," futhi ukubeka nje, kuqala ngokuvuma ukuthi ukufa kuyingxenye evamile yokuphila.

"Ukuhlanganyela ekufeni kukhombisa intshisekelo yemvelo yokuthile esizobhekana nakho sonke esikhathini sethu sokuphila," kusho uSarah Chavez, umqondisi omkhulu wenhlangano ebizwa nge-The Order of the Good Death futhi ongumsunguli we-Death & the Maiden, inkundla yabesifazane ukuxoxa ngokufa.

Abantu abahola le nhlangano abakhathazekile ngohlangothi olumnyama; empeleni, kuphambene impela.

"Sikhuluma kakhulu ngokufa," kusho uChavez, "kodwa ngendlela exakayo, akukhona kakhulu ngokufa komuntu ngamunye, kodwa ukuthuthukisa izinga lempilo yethu."

I-Global Wellness Institute ifake wonke umbiko onesihloko esithi "Dying Well" ochungechungeni lwayo lwe-Global Wellness Trends lwango-2019, olukhishwe ekuqaleni kwalo nyaka. Iphinde ithi ukucabanga ngokufa kuyindlela yokuhlela kabusha indlela esicabanga ngayo ngokuphila. (Okuhlobene: Ingozi Yemoto Eyashintsha Indlela Engicabanga Ngayo NgoJanuwari)

UBeth McGroarty, umqondisi wocwaningo lwe-GWI kanye nombhali wombiko, ukhomba izinto ezimbalwa ezibhebhezela ukunyakaza kwempilo yabantu abashonile. Phakathi kwazo: ukukhuphuka kwemikhuba emisha mayelana nokufa njengoba abantu abaningi behlonza "njengengokomoya" kunokuba "inkolo;" ukwelashwa nesizungu sokufa ezibhedlela nasemakhaya asebekhulile; kanye nama-Baby Boomers abhekene nokufa kwabo futhi benqaba isipiliyoni esibi sokuphela kwempilo.

UMcGroarty uthi lokhu akuyona nje enye inkambiso ezoza idlule. "Abezindaba bangasho ngokusobala ukuthi 'ukufa kuyashisa njengamanje,' kodwa sibona izimpawu zokuvuka okudingakalayo mayelana nokuthi ukuthula okuzungeze ukufa kukulimaza kanjani izimpilo zethu nomhlaba wethu-nokuthi singasebenzela kanjani ukubuyisela ubuntu, ubungcwele kanye nezindinganiso zethu maqondana nokufa, "ubhale kanje kulo mbiko.

Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uke wakucabangela noma cha, iqiniso elibuhlungu liwukuthi wonke umuntu uyafa — futhi wonke umuntu uzobhekana nokushonelwa abathandekayo nosizi olulandelayo. “Eqinisweni kuwukungabaza kwethu ukungabhekane noma ukukhuluma ngokukhululekile ngokufa okusisizile ekwakheni imboni yabangcwabi eyizigidi eziyizinkulungwane ezingu-20 engazisizi ngempela izidingo zabantu abaningi,” kusho uChavez.

Isizathu esisodwa sokungaxoxi ngokufa singamangaza. "Abaningi bethu banezinkolelo-ze noma izinkolelo ezibonakala ziyisilima phezulu," kusho uChavez. "Kuyangimangaza ukuthi bangaki abantu abakholelwa ngempela ukuthi awukhulumi noma ukhulume ngokufa ngoba kuzokulethela ukufa ngandlela thile."

Ngokuhambisana nokunyakaza okuhle kokufa, kube nokukhuphuka kokufa kwama-doulas. Laba ngabantu abakuqondisayo ekuhleleni ukuphela kwempilo (phakathi kwezinye izinto)—okusho ukuthi bakusiza ukuthi udale idokhumenti yangempela, ephepheni, ebeka indlela ofuna ukubhekana ngayo nezici ezithile zokufa kwakho siqu. Lokhu kuhlanganisa izinto ezifana nokwesekwa kwempilo, izinqumo zokuphela kwempilo, ukuthi uyawufuna noma awuwufuni umngcwabo, ufuna ukunakekelwa kanjani, nokuthi imali yakho nezinto zakho ezizwelayo zizoya kuphi. Kholwa noma ungakukholwa, lokhu akuyona eyabazali bakho nogogo nomkhulu wakho kuphela.

“Noma nini lapho uqaphela ukuthi ngolunye usuku ukuphila kwakho kuzophela, leso yisikhathi esihle sokuxhumana ne-death doula,” kusho u-Alua Arthur, i-doula ephenduke ummeli futhi ongumsunguli we-Going with Grace. "Njengoba kungekho namunye wethu owaziyo ukuthi sizokufa nini, isikhathi sesihambile ukulinda uze ugule."

Kusukela u-Arthur aqala ukumsebenzela eminyakeni eyisithupha eyedlule — ngemuva kokuphela kwendima yakhe yokuba ngumnakekeli womlamu wakhe, owadlula emhlabeni - uthi "impela" ubone ukwanda kwabantu abaningi abamtholayo bobabili ukuthola izinsizakalo kanye nokuqeqeshwa (uphinde enze uhlelo lokufundisa abanye ukuthi bangaba kanjani ama-death doulas). Yize inkampani yakhe izinze e-Los Angeles, wenza izingxoxo eziningi ku-inthanethi. Iningi lamakhasimende akhe ngabantu abasha, abanempilo, usho kanje. "Abantu bezwa ngomqondo we- [death doula] futhi bayaqaphela ukubaluleka kwawo."

Ngisho noma ungakakhululeki ngomcabango wokuxoxa ngokufa kwakho, ukuveza ukufa obala—kungakhathaliseki ukuthi kukhuluma ngakho okuhlobene nezilwane ezifuywayo, abazali bakho, ugogo nomkhulu wakho—kuyindlela yokubhekana nezinkinga zakho. Ukufa komuntu siqu, kusho uChavez. (Okuhlobene: Lo Mqeqeshi Wokuhamba Ngebhayisikili Wadonsela Enhlekeleleni Ngemuva Kokulahlekelwa Umama Wakhe ku-ALS)

Ngakho-ke konke lokhu kuhlobene kanjani nenhlalakahle, noma kunjalo? Kukhona ukufana okubalulekile. Abaningi bethu balwela ukwenza izinqumo ezifanele mayelana nokunakekela imizimba yabo empilweni, "kodwa iningi lethu aliboni ukuthi nathi sidinga ukuvikela izinqumo zethu zokufa," kusho uChavez. Inhlangano yezempilo yokufa empeleni imayelana nokukhuthaza abantu ukuthi benze izinqumo kusenesikhathi—njengokukhetha ukungcwatshwa okuluhlaza, noma ukunikela ngomzimba wakho kwisayensi—ukuze ukufa kwakho empeleni kuqinise okwakubalulekile kuwena ekuphileni.

"Sithatha isikhathi esiningi sihlela ukuzalwa kwengane, noma umshado, noma iholidi, kodwa kuncane kakhulu ukuhlela noma ukuvuma mayelana nokufa," kusho uChavez. "Ukuze ufinyelele imigomo onayo, noma ufune ikhwalithi ethile yempilo phakathi nenqubo yokufa, udinga ukulungiselela futhi ube nezingxoxo mayelana nalokho."

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