Ingabe Unecala Lomngane?

-Delile

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Sonke besikhona: Unezinhlelo zokudla kwakusihlwa nomngane wakho, kepha iphrojekthi iqhuma emsebenzini futhi kufanele uhlale sekwephuzile. Noma kunephathi yosuku lokuzalwa, kepha uyagula kakhulu awukwazi ngisho nokukhasa usofa. Noma ngabe siyini isizathu, kufanele ukhansele amapulani-futhi uzizwe kabi ngokwenzenjalo.

Leyo mpendulo ibizwa ngokuthi "umngane wecala," futhi ochwepheshe bathi kuyanda. [Tweet leli qiniso] Ubungani: Izindlela Ezimangazayo Abangane Abasenza Sibe Yikho. "Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi benzani, bazizwa sengathi ababona umngane omuhle ngokwanele." Kuhlala kukhona umuntu okufanele "umshayele ucingo, ihora elijabulisayo" ofanele ukuba ube kulo, noma i-imeyili "obekufanele" ukuba umphendule yona kudala - noma ucabanga kanjalo. Kepha nakhu ukubamba: Noma ukuzizwa ngale ndlela kusho ukuthi unezinhloso ezinhle, ukuzama ukujabulisa wonke umuntu akunangqondo-kuze kufike ezingeni lokuthi kungakushiya uzizwe mubi kakhulu.

Umphakathi Wethu "Okuningi" = Unecala Elikhulu

Yini eyenza sonke sicabange ukuthi singabangani ababi? Okokuqala, kunokuningi okuqhubekayo. Ngaphezu kokusebenza amahora amade, kunemicimbi eminingi okufanele uyihambele-futhi ngenxa yalokho, miningi ongaphuthelwa. "Konke kubuyela emuva ekukhuleni kwesiko le-Intanethi," kuchaza uCatherine Cardinal, Ph.D., uchwepheshe wokuzethemba futhi ongumsunguli wenkonzo yokuqeqesha impilo iWise Women Rock. "Abantu banokufinyelela olwazini olwengeziwe, ngakho-ke bahileleka emisebenzini eyengeziwe. Bese bemema wonke umuntu ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ukuba eze emicimbini yabo, ngakho kugcina kube yilokhu kuhlasela okukhulu kwemibuthano." Futhi njengoba cishe awubhekile ukusheshisa ukushesha empilweni yakho yezenhlalo futhi uzame ukushaya wonke umcimbi owodwa, ugcina uzizwa unecala ngalezo oweqayo.

Esinye isizathu esenza ukuthi umngane wecala likhule, ngokuxakayo, yi-narcissism. "Abezokuxhumana sebephendule abantu abaningi baba izidalwa ezizicabangela bona bodwa," kusho uChristine Hassler, isazi nombhali weminyaka eyizinkulungwane 20-Okuthile, 20-Yonke into. "Abantu bacabanga ukuthi ubukhona babo bubaluleke kakhulu kunalokho okwenzekayo nokuthi ngokungafiki, iphathi ngeke liphele noma umninikhaya uzophuka inhliziyo, lapho imvamisa wonke umuntu ekuqonda kahle."

Yiba Nonembeza Ocacile

Ngenhlanhla ungasusa uhambo lwecala lomngane: Konke kumayelana nokubeka ama-buds akho-ekhanda lakho, empeleni, hhayi ngokuzwakalayo! -Nokubeka okuhle kakhulu kuqala. "Abantu obajwayele nabangane abakhulu abamane bathwale isisindo esifanayo ngakho-ke abatholi ukwelashwa okufanayo," kusho uFlora. Uma uqhubeka uhluleka ukwenza isikhathi sophathina wakho obekhona lapho kuhlukana khona konke, umsebenzi omusha, ukufa kwenja yakho, nokuningi, wena kufanele uphatheke kabi ngoba uyingxenye enkulu yempilo yakho, kuchaza uFlora. Kepha ukwenqaba ngesizotha isimemo somuntu omjwayele noma ukumkhansela kwesinye isikhathi akuyona into okufanele uzisole ngayo.

“Ukuzizwa unecala okungafanele mayelana nabangane besigaba sesithathu nesesine nabantu obajwayele kungabangela ukucindezeleka okungadingekile futhi kukuqede amandla angokomzwelo,” kusho uFlora. "Uma uhlala unengcindezi ngabantu abangenandaba nawe kangako, lokho kungathikameza isithombe sakho futhi kukwenze ucabange njengomngani omubi jikelele, kanti awuyena."

Ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi lokhu akwenzeki, ungamukeli izimemo ngokungacabangi. Cabanga ngazo ngokwezinga elijulile, nquma ukuthi yisiphi isenzakalo esiba seqhulwini, bese uqhubeke ngokufanele ngokuthi yebo noma cha-ungasoze. [Twitha leli thiphu!] "Ezweni lanamuhla le-FOMO, asifuni ukuphuthelwa yinoma yini, ngakho sithi mhlawumbe kukho konke ukuzivumela amathuba engeziwe. Kodwa ukungazibophezeli kuyingozi emqondweni wakho ngoba ugcina usudala okulindelwe ngamanga, okwenza uzizwe unecala elengeziwe uma ungalandeli, "kuchaza uHassler.

Uma uthi yebo, maka idethi kushejuli yakho futhi weqe iminwe yakho ukuze kungabikho izimo eziphuthumayo zomzuzu wokugcina ezivelelayo. Uma wenqaba, gcina izinto zinesizotha futhi zifushane. "Izincazelo ezinde zokuthi kungani ungakwazi ukuhamba ziqinisa umuzwa wakho wecala ngoba zikwenza uzizwe sengathi wenze into engalungile," kusho uHassler. Futhi awuvumelanga-ke.

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