Lokho Okushiwo Ngempela Ukuba Ungatholakali Ngokomzwelo

-Delile

• Yini eyenza umlingani angatholakali ngokomzwelo?
• Abathandi ukwenza izinhlelo
• Babiza izibhamu
• Wenza wonke umsebenzi wobudlelwano
• Bayalibalekela igama elithi 'ubuhlobo'
• Awukaze ubonakale usondela eduze
• Zibonisa imizwa yakho esikhundleni sokunikela ngeyazo
• Zibonakala sekwedlule isikhathi noma ziqhumise izinhlelo
• Ngingaba yini ongatholakali ngokomzwelo?
• Lapho izibopho zisondela, ufuna ukuhlehla
• Usebenza ngokugcina izinketho zakho zivulekile
• Ukhathazeka ngokulahlekelwa ngokwakho ebuhlotsheni
• Ukuthembana akuzi kalula kuwe
• Uqhubeka uphele ngabantu abangatholakali ngokomzwelo
• Ivelaphi?
• Izinkinga zokunamathiselwe
• Izimo zesikhashana
• Usizi lokuhlukana
• Izinyathelo ezilandelayo
• Thola imbangela
• Prakthiza ukuvula
• Thatha kancane
• Faka umlingani wakho
• Chitha isikhathi nabantu ebudlelwaneni obunempilo
• Khuluma nomelaphi
• Okubalulekile

Ithi usuthandane nomuntu cishe izinyanga eziyi-6. Unezinto eziningi enifana ngazo, ingasaphathwa eyamakhemikhali amakhulu ezocansi, kepha kunokuthile okubonakala ngathi kunciphile.

Mhlawumbe bayazibalekela izingxoxo mayelana nokuhlangenwe nakho okungokomzwelo, noma bakhulume okuningi ngempilo yabo nangezintshisakalo zabo kodwa bangalokothi babuze ngezinto ozithandayo.

Lokhu kubonakala kungabikho kotshalomali kungakwenza uzibuze ukuthi ngabe bayakuthanda yini.

Kepha ukubandakanyeka kwakho (noma ngabe kungubudlelwano noma okuthile okungajwayelekile) kuyaqhubeka, ngakho-ke uyacabanga kumele nginemizwa ngawe.

Izindaba ezinhle kungenzeka ukuthi bayazenza. Izindaba ezimbi ukuthi kungenzeka zingatholakali ngokomzwelo.

Ukutholakala ngokomzwelo kuchaza amandla okugcina izibopho ezingokomzwelo ebudlelwaneni. Njengoba kungenakwenzeka kakhulu ukuba nobudlelwano obunempilo ngaphandle kokuxhumeka okungokomzwelo, abantu abangatholakali ngokomzwelo bavame ukuba nobunzima ebudlelwaneni, imvamisa bekhetha ukuphola ngokunganaki nokugcina ibanga elithile.

Yini eyenza umlingani angatholakali ngokomzwelo?

Ukubona ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo kungaba yinkohliso. Abantu abaningi abangatholakali emoyeni banekhono lokukwenza uzizwe umkhulu ngawe futhi unethemba ngekusasa lobudlelwano bakho.

Kepha uma, ngemuva kokuqala okukhuthazayo, ungalokothi uxhume ngokusondelene kakhulu, bangahle bangakwazi ukugcina noma yini engaphezu kokubandakanyeka okungajwayelekile okwamanje.

Izimpawu ezingezansi zingakusiza ubone ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo kumlingani wakho.

Abathandi ukwenza izinhlelo

Abantu abangatholakali ngokomzwelo bavame ukukhombisa ukuthambekela okuncane kokuzibophezela, noma ngabe lokhu kuzibophezela kuncane noma kubaluleke kakhulu.

Mhlawumbe uphakamisa ukuhlangana ngesonto elizayo. Bavumelana ngentshiseko, ngakho-ke ubuza ukuthi yiluphi usuku olubasebenzelayo.

Bathi, “Ake ngibheke futhi ngibuyele kuwe,” kodwa awuzwa.

Noma mhlawumbe bathi, "Ngizokufaka ipensela lokho." Kepha lapho isikhathi sifika, banesaba esikhulu sokuthi kungani bengenakukwazi ukusenza.

Babiza izibhamu

Uma nibonana, bathambekele ekukhetheni enikwenzayo - imvamisa umsebenzi ohambelana nenqubo yabo ejwayelekile.

Bangase bagqoke isiqephu sakamuva sohlelo lwabo oluyintandokazi lweNetflix, yize ungakaze ulubone. Noma mhlawumbe bakucela ukuthi ubasize ukuzungeza indlu.

Lokhu akusho ukuthi kunenkinga, ikakhulukazi uma bebonakala bemukela iziphakamiso zakho.

Kepha uma bengaze babuze ukuthi ungathanda ukwenzani, noma babonakale becasukile uma ungafuni ukuhambisana necebo labo, kungahle kube yisikhathi sokubukisisa ubudlelwano.

Wenza wonke umsebenzi wobudlelwano

Awusakhumbuli ukuthi bagcine nini ukuthumela umbhalo obungeyona impendulo eqondile? Uzizwe ukhungathekile kancane abakaze bamise usuku noma baqale noma yiziphi izinhlelo?

Uma wenza konke ukushaya, ukuthumela imiyalezo nokuhlela, kunethuba elihle lokuthi bangatholakali ngokomzwelo. Bayakujabulela ukuchitha isikhathi nawe, impela, lapho kubasebenzela. Kepha abafuni ukuyisebenzela, ngakho-ke uma ungenzi izinto zenzeke, cishe ngeke.

Lapho ningachithi isikhathi ndawonye, ​​uzwa kubo kuyaqabukela. Mhlawumbe bathatha izinsuku ukuphendula imiyalezo noma ukungayinaki eminye imiyalezo ngokuphelele, ikakhulukazi enengqondo.

Bangase bathi, "Ngingathanda ukukhuluma ngezinto ezibalulekile mathupha." Okuzwakala kukuhle, kunjalo - baze bangalandeli.

Bayalibalekela igama elithi 'ubuhlobo'

Ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo kungabandakanya ukwesaba ukuzibophezela nokusondelana. Ungahle uhlanganyele ekuziphatheni kobudlelwano nothile - hamba ngezinsuku, chitha ubusuku ndawonye, ​​nihlangane nabangane bomunye nomunye - kepha abafuni ukukhuluma ngokuba nobudlelwano obusemthethweni.

Inqobo nje uma uqhubeka uphola ngokunganaki, izinto zihamba kahle kakhulu. Kepha uma uzama ukwakha ukuzibophezela okujulile, bahlehlela emuva.

Qaphela uma othile umbona:

• bathi bafuna ukugcina izinto zingajwayelekile
• ukhuluma kakhulu nge-ex yakamuva
• ukhuluma ngemizwa engathandeki kumngane
• uthi banokwesaba ukuzibophezela

Kuhlala kungenzeka ukuthi ubabambe ngesikhathi lapho bezizwa belungele ukusebenzela ushintsho. Imvamisa, umuntu osho lezi zinto usho zona.

Awukaze ubonakale usondela eduze

Ekuqaleni kobudlelwano, babelana ngokusobala ngobuthakathaka noma basho ukuthi bakujabulela kangakanani ukuchitha isikhathi ndawonye. Kepha izinto azibi zimbi.

Kuyalingwa ukuzama ukwenza izinto zisebenze nomuntu obonakala ekude. Ungakholelwa ukuthi badinga nje ukuthola umuntu ofanele. Uma ungafinyelela kubo lapho kungekho omunye umuntu ongakwazi, ubudlelwano bakho bunamandla okuhlala, akunjalo? Kufanele nje uzame kancane kancane.

Le yindlela ukungatholakali okungokomzwelo okungakubamba ngayo.

Ngaphandle kokuthi benze umsebenzi othile ngokwabo, uzoqhubeka nokutshala amandla ebudlelwaneni ngenhloso yokuthi ngolunye usuku usondele. Okwamanje, bazoqhubeka nokugwema ukuphindisela, ngakho-ke uzozikhipha uze ukhathale kakhulu ngokomzwelo ukuze uqhubeke.

Zibonisa imizwa yakho esikhundleni sokunikela ngeyazo

Naka indlela umuntu aphendula ngayo lapho wabelana ngemizwa.

Ingabe baveza imizwa yabo ngokuhlukile? Noma bakubuyisela emuva lokho okushoyo ngokuthi, "Ngizizwa ngendlela efanayo"?

Akuwona wonke umuntu othanda ukukhuluma ngemizwa ngaso sonke isikhathi, kepha ebudlelwaneni, kubalulekile ukuxhuma ezingeni lomzwelo.

Uma umlingani wakho engakwazi ukuvula, noma ngabe uqala ingxoxo futhi ubuza imibuzo eqondile, kungenzeka bangatholakali ngokomzwelo.

Zibonakala sekwedlule isikhathi noma ziqhumise izinhlelo

Ukungagcini ukuzibophezela noma ukungakhombisi njalo emuva kwesikhathi kuyindlela ecashile yokugcina umuntu ekude.

Umlingani wakho kungenzeka ukuthi usakhathala futhi aze axolise ngobuqotho.

Kepha bangakhathala kakhulu ngalokho abakufunayo futhi babe nenkinga yokuhlela kabusha impilo yabo ukuze ikulingane nawe. Ngamanye amagama, abakulungele ukubeka phambili izidingo zobudlelwano ngaphezu kwezidingo zabo.

Ngingaba yini ongatholakali ngokomzwelo?

Mhlawumbe ezinye zezimpawu ezingenhla zikuthinte njengezimpawu oziqaphele kuwe, noma izinto ozakwethu besikhathi esedlule abakukhombe zona.

Ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo akusho ukuthi wenze okuthile okungalungile. Ungahle ungaboni ngokuphelele ukuthi kuvela kanjani ebudlelwaneni bakho.

Nazi ezinye izimpawu okufanele uzigcine engqondweni.

Lapho izibopho zisondela, ufuna ukuhlehla

Ngesonto eledlule, wenze izinhlelo zosuku kusasa. Uzizwe ujabulile ngaleso sikhathi, kepha manje ukunikela ngesikhathi sakho samahhala yinto yokugcina ofuna ukuyenza.

Kubalulekile ukuthatha isikhathi esanele ngokwakho. Uma ugcina ngokukhansela izinhlelo nomlingani wakho kaningi kunalokho, zibuze ukuthi kungani ubona isidingo sokugwema ukuchitha isikhathi esiningi ndawonye.

Usebenza ngokugcina izinketho zakho zivulekile

Uma ufuna ubudlelwano obuzibophezele, kwesinye isikhathi kuzodingeka ukuthi ugxile kozakwethu oyedwa (noma, ebudlelwaneni obungabumbisani, umlingani wakho wokuqala).

Kepha esikhundleni sokuba nengxoxo nomlingani wakho wamanje mayelana nezinhloso zobudlelwano njengokuzibophezela kwesikhathi eside noma ukukhetheka, uqhubeka ngokuswayipha, ukuya ezinsukwini, futhi ngokujwayelekile ugcina amehlo akho evulekele amadlelo aluhlaza.

Ungahle ungafuni ukukhokhela umuntu ongalungile kahle. Kepha le mindset ingakhawulela amandla akho okunikela ngesikhathi namandla kumuntu osuvele umnakekela. Akunakwenzeka ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuthola umdlalo "ophelele", kepha usengaba nobudlelwano obuhle nomuntu osilela kancane ekupheleleni okuphelele.

Ukhathazeka ngokulahlekelwa ngokwakho ebuhlotsheni

Uma uzimele kanzima, ungahle ukhathazeke ngokusondelana nomlingani othandana naye kuzobandakanya ukulahlekelwa yilokho kuzimela. Mhlawumbe uthanda ukwenza izinto ngendlela yakho, kusheduli yakho, futhi awufuni ukushintsha impilo yakho ilingane eyomunye umuntu.

Akukho lutho olungalungile ngalokho, kodwa kungakwenza ungatholakali kalula. Ebudlelwaneni obunempilo, abalingani balinganisela izidingo zomuntu ngamunye nokuzibophezela kwabo kwezothando. Kungathatha isikhathi nokuhlola ukufunda ukuthi ungakwenza kanjani lokhu ngendlela ezwakala ikulungele.

Ukuthembana akuzi kalula kuwe

Uma othile akhaphela ukwethembana kwakho esikhathini esedlule, ungakugwema ukuveza ubungozi bakho komunye umuntu. Ungakhetha ukugcina imizwa nemicabango yakho ikhiyiwe ukuze kungabikho muntu oyisebenzisela yona.

Lapho umlingani ekuncenga ukuthi uvule futhi ukhulume ngokuthi uzizwa kanjani, uphendula ngokuvala noma ushintshe isihloko.

Uqhubeka uphele ngabantu abangatholakali ngokomzwelo

Uma unephethini lobudlelwano nabalingani abakude ngokomzwelo, cabanga ukuthi uyakubuyisa yini lokho okukhiphayo.

Ekuqaleni, kungabonakala kulula futhi kumnandi ukuthandana nabantu abangakubuzi okuningi ngokomzwelo. Kepha uma, ekujuleni kwenhliziyo, ufuna okuningi kusuka ebudlelwaneni, lezi zinduku ngeke zikufeze isikhathi eside.

Ivelaphi?

Ziningi izinto ezingaba nomthelela ekungatholakali ngokomzwelo. Akuvamile ukuthola izimbangela ezingaphezu kwesisodwa enhliziyweni yalolu daba.

Izinkinga zokunamathiselwe

Ukunamathela kwengane kubanakekeli abayinhloko kungenza kungatholakali ngokomzwelo.

Uma abanakekeli bakho bengakhombisanga intshisekelo kwimizwa yakho noma bakunikeza uthando nokusekelwa okukhulu, kungenzeka ukuthi ubumunce lokhu njengesibonelo sobudlelwano.

Njengomuntu omdala, okunamathiselwe kwakho kozakwethu abathandanayo kungalandela leli phethini futhi kujwayele ukugwema.

Izimo zesikhashana

Ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo nakho kungenzeka okwesikhashana. Abantu abaningi abaphila nezimo zempilo yengqondo, njengokucindezeleka, bangaba nobunzima bokugcina ukuxhumana ngokomzwelo nabathandekayo babo ngesikhathi sokuqubuka.

Abanye bangafuna ukugxila emsebenzini wabo, umngane onobunzima, noma okunye okungalindelekile.

Usizi lokuhlukana

Ukuzwa ubuhlungu bobudlelwano kungenza kube nzima ukuba sengozini nomlingani omusha.

Lokhu kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma ululama kusuka:

• ukuhlukana okungathandeki
• ukungathembeki
• imizwa engafuneki
• ubuthi obunobudlelwano noma ukuhlukunyezwa

Noma ikuphi kwalokhu kunganikela emizweni yokuzenyeza, okungenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuzwa nokwabelana ngokusondelana.

Izinyathelo ezilandelayo

Ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo akudingeki ukuthi kube unomphela. Kuyinkinga eyinkimbinkimbi, noma kunjalo, futhi ezinye izimbangela eziyisisekelo kungaba nzima ukuzinqoba kunezinye.

Ushintsho lwenzeka kuphela lapho othile ezimisele ukusebenza ekudaleni, ngakho-ke awukwazi ukwenza uzakwethu ongatholakali ngokomzwelo atholakale kakhudlwana.

Ini wena can okwenzayo ukuletha maqondana nokuziphatha futhi ukhombe, ngozwela, ukuthi kubuthinta kanjani ubuhlobo bakho.

Bakhuthaze ukuthi bakhulume nomelaphi, noma banikele ngokuya kwezithandani belulekwe ndawonye. Okwamanje, nikeza isikhuthazo nokusekela lapho bevula.

Uma uzama ukutholakala ngokwengeziwe ngokomzwelo ngokwakho, amathiphu alandelayo angasiza.

Thola imbangela

Ukuhlola izingqinamba zempande kungakunika ukuqonda ukuthi ungabhekana kanjani nokungatholakali ngokomzwelo.

Uma uke wahlukana nokubi, isibonelo, ungahle udinge isikhathi esithe xaxa ngaphambi kokuzama ukusondelana nothile futhi.

Kepha uma okuthile okungathi sína ngokwengeziwe, njengokunganakwa kwengane, kuthinta ikhono lakho lokusondela kwabanye, kuwukuhlakanipha ukukhuluma nomelaphi. Ukubhekana nemiphumela yokuhlukumezeka noma ukuhlukunyezwa ngokuvamile kudinga ukusekelwa ngochwepheshe.

Prakthiza ukuvula

Kaningi kuyasiza ukukhululeka ukuveza imizwa uwedwa ngaphambi kokuzama ukuyabelana nomlingani othandana naye.

Ukwenza lokhu, cabanga ngale mibono:

• Gcina umbhalo wemizwa yakho.
• Sebenzisa ubuciko noma umculo ukuzijwayeza ukukhuluma ngokomzwelo.
• Khuluma nabantu abathembekile, njengabangane abaseduze noma amalungu omndeni, ngemizwa.
• Yabelana ngezinkinga ezingokomzwelo noma ukukhubazeka ngombhalo kuqala.

Thatha kancane

Lapho usubona ukuthi ubukude ngokomzwelo, ungahle uthande ukuqala ukukushintsha lokho ngokushesha.

Ukuthuthukiswa kobusuku akulona iqiniso, noma kunjalo. Ukuba sengozini kwangempela kuthatha isikhathi. Ukuziphoqa ukuze uvule ngaphambi kokuba ulungele kwesinye isikhathi kungadala ukucindezeleka noma ukungaphatheki kahle.

Sebenza ngezinguquko ezincane esikhundleni salokho. Kuhle ukuzisunduza ukuze uphume endaweni yakho yokunethezeka, kepha awudingi ukuyishiya ngokuphelele othulini.

Faka umlingani wakho

Njengoba uhlola izinto ezibangela ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo futhi usebenzela ukutholakala ngokwengeziwe, xhumana nomlingani wakho ngalokho okufundayo.

Uma beqonda ukuthi kungani uhoxa, ungaba nesikhathi esilula sokubacela ukuthi bakusekele.

Hlola amasu awusizo ndawonye, ​​njenge:

• babelana ngemizwa ngokushiyelana amanothi
• ukuhlala uxhumekile ngombhalo lapho udinga isikhala somzimba

Chitha isikhathi nabantu ebudlelwaneni obunempilo

Lapho ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo kusuka ezindabeni zokunamathiselwa noma amaphethini wobudlelwano angenampilo, kungasiza ukufunda kabanzi ngokuthi ubudlelwano obunempilo bubukeka kanjani.

Enye indlela yokufunda ubudlelwano obunempilo ihilela isikhathi endle. Cabanga ngabangani noma amalungu omndeni ebudlelwaneni obuqinile, besikhathi eside, abantu ochitha isikhathi esiningi nabo. Qaphela ukuthi basebenzisana kanjani nabalingani babo.

Lokhu ngeke kukunikeze isithombe esigcwele, kepha kungakunikeza ukuqonda okuthile.

Khuluma nomelaphi

Ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo akuyona into ongasebenza ngayo wedwa ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi lokho kulungile.

Uma uqhubeka unenkinga yokuba sengozini engokomzwelo futhi uzizwa ucindezelekile ngobunzima obubudalayo ebudlelwaneni bakho, umelaphi angakunikeza ukuholwa nokusekelwa.

Ekwelashweni, ungasebenzela ukukhomba izimbangela ezingaba khona futhi uthathe izinyathelo zokwephula amaphethini obudlelwano obungasizi.

Uma usuvele ukulobudlelwano, ukwelulekwa kwezithandani nakho kungaletha inzuzo enkulu.

Okubalulekile

Ukungatholakali ngokomzwelo, ngapha nangapha, kungadala ukukhungatheka okukhulu nosizi. Kodwa akusho ukuthi kufanele ulahle ubudlelwano bakho.

Ukukhuluma nomlingani wakho, noma ukubhekisisa izindlela oziphethe ngayo, kungakusiza ukuthi uqale ukukhomba izingqinamba ezingaba khona futhi uzisebenzise ngokuzuzisayo.

Ukubekezela, ukuxhumana, nokwesekwa okuvela kumelaphi kungasiza, ikakhulukazi uma ungabonakali ufika ndawo wedwa.

UCrystal Raypole wake wasebenza njengombhali nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Imikhakha yakhe enentshisekelo ifaka izilimi nezincwadi zase-Asia, ukuhunyushwa kwesiJapane, ukupheka, isayensi yemvelo, ukuzethemba ngocansi, nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukhethekile, uzibophezele ekusizeni ukunciphisa ukucwaswa okuzungeze izingqinamba zezempilo yengqondo.