Isayensi Ithi Ubungane Buyisihluthulelo Sempilo Ehlala Njalo Nenjabulo

-Delile

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Umndeni nabangane yizinhlobo ezimbili ezibalulekile zobudlelwano empilweni yakho, ngokungangabazeki. Kodwa uma kuziwa ekukwenzeni ujabule ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ungase umangale ukuthi yiliphi iqembu elinamandla kakhulu. Yize amalungu omndeni ebalulekile, uma kukhulunywa ngempilo engcono nenjabulo, ubungane obenza umehluko omkhulu-ikakhulukazi njengoba ukhula, ngokusho kocwaningo olusha. (Thola izindlela eziyi-12 umngane wakho omkhulu athuthukisa ngazo impilo yakho.)

Indatshana eshicilelwe kujenali Ubudlelwano bomuntu siqu, efingqa okutholakele kwezifundo ezimbili ezihambisanayo, iveze ukuthi ngenkathi womabili umndeni nabangane befaka isandla empilweni nasenjabulweni, ubudlelwano abantu abanabo nabangane obunomthelela omkhulu kamuva empilweni. Sebebonke, kuhlolwe abantu abangaphezu kuka-278,000 ubudala obuhlukahlukene abavela emazweni acishe abe yi-100, balinganisela izinga lempilo nenjabulo yabo. Ngokuphawulekayo, ocwaningweni lwesibili (olwalugxile kubantu abadala, ikakhulukazi), kwatholakala ukuthi lapho abangane bewumthombo wokungezwani noma ukucindezeleka, abantu babika izifo ezingalapheki kakhulu, kuyilapho othile ezizwa esekelwe ubungane bakhe, babika izinkinga zempilo ezimbalwa. kanye nenjabulo eyengeziwe. (Njengalapho zikusiza ukuthi uqedele ukuzivocavoca okunzima. Yebo, ukuzivocavoca nomngane wakho kungakunyusa ukubekezelela izinhlungu.) Kubalulekile ukuqaphela, noma kunjalo, ukuthi abacwaningi abadwebanga umugqa ocacile phakathi kwalowo odala omunye-a. ukuxabana nomngane wakho ngeke kukugulise.

Kungani? Konke kuzikhethela, kusho uWilliam Chopik, Ph.D., umbhali wephepha kanye noprofesa eMichigan State University. "Ngicabanga ukuthi kungahle kuhlangane nokukhetha ubungani-singaqhubeka sizungeze labo esibathandayo bese siphela kancane kulabo esingabathandi," uyachaza. "Sivame ukuchitha imicimbi yokuzilibazisa nabangane, kanti ubudlelwane emndenini kaningi bungaba nengcindezi, obubi, noma obuyisidina."

Kungenzeka futhi ukuthi abangane bagcwalise izikhala ezishiywe ngumndeni noma banikeze ukusekelwa ngezindlela amalungu omndeni angakwazi noma angeke, angeze ngazo. Abangani nabo bangakuqonda ezingeni elihlukile kunomndeni, ngenxa yokuhlangenwe nakho okwabiwayo nezintshisekelo. Kungakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukulondoloza ubuhlobo nabangane bakudala noma wenze umzamo wokuphinde uxhumane uma ulahlekelwe ukuxhumana nomngane wakho wobuntwana noma udadewenu. Nakuba izinguquko zempilo nebanga kungenza lokhu kube nzima ngezinye izikhathi, izinzuzo ziwufanele umzamo wokuthatha ifoni noma ukuthumela leyo imeyili.

"Ubungani buphakathi kobudlelwano obunzima kakhulu ukubugcina impilo yonke," kusho uChopik. "Ingxenye yalokho kuhlobene nokungabi nesibopho. Abangani bachitha isikhathi ndawonye ngoba befuna futhi bekhetha, hhayi ngoba kufanele."

Ngokujabulisayo kunezinyathelo ezilula zokugcina nokwengeza ubungani obubalulekile. U-Chopik uncoma ukuthi uqinisekise ukuthi uyingxenye yempilo yansuku zonke yabangane bakho ngokuhlanganyela empumelelweni yabo futhi ujabule ngokwehluleka kwabo-ngokuyisisekelo yiba yi-cheerleader kanye nehlombe ukuncika. Ngaphezu kwalokho, uthi ukuhlanganyela nokuzama imisebenzi emisha ndawonye kuyasiza, njengoba kunjalo nokubonga. Ukutshela abantu ukuthi uyabathanda futhi uyabazisa ukuba khona kwabo empilweni yakho kuyinto encane kakhulu, kodwa kungenza umehluko omkhulu ezimpilweni zawo wonke umuntu. Ngaleyo ndaba, kufanele ngabe ukhombisa ukubonga ngabo bobabili abangane futhi umndeni.

Akukho kulokhu okusho ukuthi umndeni awubalulekile, kodwa kunalokho ubungane bunikeza izinzuzo ezihlukile, futhi kufanele uthathe isikhathi ukukhulisa lobu budlelwano obukhethekile. Yebo, sikunikeze ubufakazi besayensi ukuthi udinga ubusuku bamantombazane, STAT.

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