Sibuze Amadoda: "Yini Enenze Nigcine Niqala Ukuthambisa?"

-Delile

• Izikhathi eziningi, ama-skinterventions avela njengokuzindlayo. Eqinisweni, siyakhathala nje.
• Qala ngokusebenzisa indlela emnene
• Nakanjani gwema ukwahlulela nokuhlukumeza
• Sebenzisa inkampani exubile njengethuba
• Khombisa ubuchwepheshe bakho ukwakha ubudlelwano
• Funda igumbi: Thola ukuthi kufanele uqondise nini noma uncome nini
• Ezimweni ezingavamile, amanye amadoda ayazi nje ukuthi ngubani (futhi nini) okufanele abuze

Kukhona izindlela ezilungile (nezingalungile) zokwenza abesilisa ukuba bathambisa.

Kungani kunzima kangaka ukwenza abesilisa ukuthi banakekele isikhumba?

Kungaba iqiniso lokuthi amadoda amaningi kakhulu awakhulumi ngawo uqobo. UJesu, oneminyaka engama-33 ubudala, uthinta indlela okungahlonishwa ngayo ukuxoxa ngokunakekelwa kwesikhumba phakathi kwabantu baseLatinos.

“Ukunakekelwa kwesikhumba kungenye yalezo zihloko lapho lapho useduze nabanye besilisa baseLatino, ungabelani ngemithi yakho yokunakekelwa kwesikhumba, futhi empeleni bazokuhlekisa uma wenza kanjalo. Kuphela uma owesilisa we-alpha weqembu ahlanganyela okuthile bese ethi, ‘Hheyi, ngisebenzisa lokhu, kufanele ukusebenzise.’ ”

UDavid, 60, uphinde aqinisekise ukuthi abafana nabesilisa bavamise ukuklolodelana ngesikhumba sabo futhi abakaze baxoxe ngamathiphu noma ngohlobo lwabo lomuntu siqu. “Ukunakekelwa kwesikhumba kuvela kuphela phakathi kwabafana uma kuwukugconwa. Njengokuthi, 'Bheka wena, amaqakala akho angumlotha!' Amahlaya e-Barbershop anjalo. ”

Izikhathi eziningi, ama-skinterventions avela njengokuzindlayo. Eqinisweni, siyakhathala nje.

Masibhekane nakho: Ukuthola umfana empilweni yakho ukuthi anakekele isikhumba sakhe kungaba nzima. Kufanele ucabangele uhlobo nezikhumba zazo, imizwa nohlobo lobuntu, nokwethembeka kwakho.

Angisoze ngakukhohlwa ukuthi ngikubalekele kanjani ngamabomu ukusiza owayeyisoka ngenxa yokwesaba ukonakalisa imizwa yakhe. Wayengasebenzisi umkhiqizo ofanele wokushefa ukumvikela kuma-razor bumps. Intamo yakhe kwakungathi uthathe i-grater yoshizi waya kuyo.

Esikhundleni sokumsiza nami, ngathembela kubaba wami ukuba angenelele futhi ngimbonise imikhiqizo yakhe yesikhumba. Lowo engangihamba naye akazange asithathe iseluleko, kepha inkumbulo yayihlale ingenza ngizibuze: Ingabe zikhona izindlela ezingcono - ezinye izindlela - zokwenza abafana banakekele isikhumba sabo? Singawenza kanjani amadoda ezimpilweni zethu ukuthi aqale ukuthambisa, ukuvikela ilanga, ukukhipha amafutha emzimbeni nokwelapha izinduna zawo?

Ukuze ngithole umuzwa ongcono wezindlela zokwakhiwa kwesikrini kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho - okuhle, okubi, nokubi - ngifinyelele kwabanye babangane bami abaseduze kakhulu namalungu omndeni.

Nakhu okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo.

Qala ngokusebenzisa indlela emnene

Uma kukhulunywa ngomfowabo, uCandice, 26, uyazi ukuthi kufanele akhululeke kuzincomo. Akathandi uma emtshela ukuthi enzeni futhi uzomtshela uma enza.

“Kumele ngimnciphise ezintweni. Ngabona ukuthi ubethola ukushisa, ngakho ngathi, ‘Hheyi, ngiyabona ukuthi isikhumba sakho siyagqashuka. Wenzani ukuyinakekela? Ingabe kuyakusebenzela? ’”

Lapho emtshela ukuthi umane nje usebenzisa insipho yamabhawa, wancoma ukuba akhuculule isikhumba. "Wayizama futhi wafana nokuthi, 'Yo, lokhu [bleep] akukhona! Sengizoqhubeka nokusebenzisa lokhu! ’”

Uma kuziwa ekunakekelweni kwesikhumba ezindaweni ezingafani nezinye izinto, uJussie, 26, uphawula ukuthi kufanele aqonde ngqo, njengoba ukunakekelwa kwesikhumba kungaze kuvele.

UCandice ubuye asebenzise le ndlela nesoka lakhe, enezela ngokuthi, “Abesilisa abazi lutho ngabahlanzayo noma izinto zokuthambisa, ngakho-ke kuye kwadingeka ngimkhuthaze ukuthi futhi akhiphe ioli. Usasebenzisa kakhulu insipho yebhawa ingxenye enkulu, kodwa manje ukhipha ukhipha kanye ngesonto. "

Nakanjani gwema ukwahlulela nokuhlukumeza

Isexwayiso se-Spoiler: Le yi okungenani ukusebenza sondela ekusizeni noma ngubani bathuthukise isikhumba sabo. Sicela ungalokothi wenze lokhu!

UMonique, 30, akazange abe nezinkinga emndenini wakhe futhi wayelahlekelwe kakhulu lapho ebona umshana wakhe omncane enezinduna.

“Abangani bakhe babemgcona. Babenezinwele ezicacile nezinwele zobuso. Wayethuthele edolobheni elikhudlwana, futhi ukubukeka kwakhe kwakuya kubaluleke kakhulu kuye. Ngicabanga ukuthi induna yakhe yehlise i-swag yakhe phansi, futhi uyi-fella encane enhle. Futhi akekho umuntu othanda izinduna. ”

"Ngamtshela," Udinga ukugeza ubuso bakho kakhulu. Futhi ushintshe ama-pillowcases akho. ’” Uphinde wambuza, “Ubani okubeke izandla ezingcolile? Ngubani othinta ubuso bakho? ” Lapho emtshela ukuthi ugeza ubuso, wayebona ukuphoxeka nokukhungatheka.

Akakaze acele usizo lukaMonique ngesikhumba sakhe futhi, futhi uma ebheka emuva, uyaqonda ukuthi kungani.

Sebenzisa inkampani exubile njengethuba

UJesu, owake wakhuluma ngokuhlukunyezwa kwesikhumba phakathi kwabafana, ube nokuhlangenwe nakho okungajwayelekile kokuxoxa obala ngokunakekelwa kwesikhumba nomngani wesilisa enkampanini exubile.

“Besisebenza nabafundi, futhi amantombazane nabafundi bezinsizwa bahlala bejwayele ukuhlanganyela nathi ngesikhathi sekhefu. Ngelinye ilanga, abafundi bethu besifazane babezihambela nje, bekhuluma ngama-moisturizers. Futhi lokho bekuyithuba lethu lokuthi singene engxoxweni.

USean wangitshela, ‘Hheyi Jesu, ngiyabona ukuthi isikhumba sakho sifana namafutha. Kufanele uzame lokhu. Akubizi kangako futhi ungakuthola eCostco. Ngethembe, uzongibonga. ’”

UJesu wamangala ngemiphumela futhi usenwebise inqubo yakhe yokunakekelwa kwesikhumba kusukela lapho.

“Ngibonile ukuthi umfowethu omncane uthola izintshebe, ngambuza ukuthi wayegunda noma cha, uzamile noma cha. Wayenomqubuko kancane, futhi ngabona amaqhuqhuva… ngakho-ke ngathi okuthile: ‘Lokhu kuzosiza.’ ” - UDavid, 60

Khombisa ubuchwepheshe bakho ukwakha ubudlelwano

UJesu uphinde abe nomama we-cosmetologist nomfowethu onelayisense owelapha massage ukuze aphendukele kuye ukuze athole usizo olwengeziwe.

“Ngihlale ngikwazi ukuya kumama wami ukubona ukuthi yimiphi imikhiqizo yesikhumba engizoyisebenzisa. Umfowethu uyazi ngamafutha esikhumba sakho nezinto ezinjalo, ngakho-ke wancoma amanye amafutha ngisho nebhotela lecocoa lesikhumba sami, ”usho kanje.

UDavid, owake wakuphawula ukubaluleka kokunakekelwa kwesikhumba ekuthembekeni kwamadoda, unomngani wesifazane onebhizinisi lokunakekela isikhumba.

Lapho efuna ukubuyekezwa komkhiqizo, uzomnika imikhiqizo ukuze azame, acele impendulo yakhe, futhi ancome izindlela ezihlekisayo izindlela ezintsha.

"Bengilokhu ngimazi unomphela, ngakho-ke ubezofana nokuthi," O Nkulunkulu wami, kumele uyeke ukusebenzisa leyo Vaseline! Ngikutshelile ukuyeka ukusebenzisa leyo Vaseline! ’Futhi kwaba nokumelana okuthile, kodwa wayethi,‘ Bheka, kuyasebenza! ’Wayezongifundisa.”

Funda igumbi: Thola ukuthi kufanele uqondise nini noma uncome nini

UJussie, 26, ubelokhu enesikhumba esingenasici. Abazali bakhe bagqugquzela ukunakekelwa kwesikhumba kuye esemncane, kufaka phakathi ukufaka ukubaluleka kokuhlala ngamanzi. (Sithembe, lokhu kwenza izimangaliso zokuvula lokho kukhanya kwangaphakathi.)

Uma kukhulunywa ngokunakekelwa kwesikhumba ezindaweni ezingafani nezinye izinto, uphawula ukuthi kufanele aqonde ngqo, njengoba ukunakekelwa kwesikhumba kungaze kuvele. (Ngokuphambene nalokho, uma esezikhaleni ze-LGBTQ +, izincomo zibonakala zisebenza kangcono.)

Usebenza njengomzali wokulala. Lapho ekhuluma nabafundi bakhe besilisa, uJussie uthi, “Ngiphambili kakhulu. [Ngizothi], ‘Udinga i-lotion. Kungani? Ngoba isikhumba sakho siyaqhekeka, futhi asibukeki kahle. ’”

Abafundi bakhe abaMnyama bathambekele ekuthokozeleni usizo lwakhe oluqondile futhi bahlobanisa ukubizwa ngamahloni. "Abafundi bami abangewona amaMnyama bangadinga izikhumbuzo ezimbalwa," esho. “Angicabangi ukuthi kuzwelana nabo ukuthi ukoma kwesikhumba kuyinto okumele bayiqaphele. Bakhathazeke kakhulu ngokungabi nezinduna noma izisihla. ”

“Ngisenaso isibazi kuze kube namuhla. Manje sengicela umkami angisize ngesikhumba sami. ” - UKobby, 36

Ngokufanayo, u-Erika, oneminyaka engama-54 ubudala, olwa nesikhumba esomile ukhipha impilo yakhe yonke, akanandlela yokuhlunga yokwenza ukuba umyeni wakhe aswakame.

“Ngabona ukuthi ubuso bomyeni wami babunamawala ngempela. Kwakukubi ngempela, njengesilo! Ngakho ngivele ngambuza, ‘Kwenzekani ngobuso bakho? Ususebenzisile isithambisi? ’Ngangikhathazekile ukuthi iqhubu lakhe labuya, ngoba isikhumba sakhe sasinamawala kakhulu. Ngangikhathazekile. ”

Ngemvelaphi yakhe emikhiqizweni yokunakekelwa kwesikhumba, ukwazile ukuncoma isithambisi, asizame ngokuzithandela.

UDavid ukhuthaza ukunakekelwa kwesikhumba kubantu abasha nabadala njengophawu lobuchwepheshe nokuziqhenya ngokwakho.

“Ufuna ukubukeka, uyazi… uzama ukuveza ini? Umfowethu omncane wayefunda esikoleni esiphakeme, ngakho-ke kufana nokuthi, ‘Qinisa. Ngiyazi ukuthi unesitayela sakho se- [hip-hop], kodwa amantombazane asathanda ukubukeka. Ufuna umsebenzi, kufanele ubonakale. Awufuni ukubukeka njengobhejane! '”

“[Umkami] uvele wangitshela ukuthi ngiqale ukusebenzisa amafutha okuthambisa nezinto ezinjalo. Wayengagxeki noma yini. Wayefuna ukungisiza nje. ” - Orville, 60

UDavid ubuye anikeze ukunikezwa kwesikrini njengendlela yokuxazulula inkinga. Naye wasiza umkhulu wakhe ukuthola imikhiqizo yokushefa efaneleke kangcono esikhunjeni esincane ngenxa yokuguga.

“Ngabona ukuthi umfowethu omncane uthola izintshebe, ngambuza ukuthi wayegunda noma cha, uzamile noma cha. Wayenomqubuko kancane, futhi ngabona amaqhuqhuva… ngakho-ke ngathi okuthile: ‘Lokhu kuzosiza.’ ”

Bobabili laba bafana babephumelela kulolu hlobo lwendlela futhi bazama izincomo zakhe.

Ezimweni ezingavamile, amanye amadoda ayazi nje ukuthi ngubani (futhi nini) okufanele abuze

U-Okonkwo, oneminyaka engama-28 ubudala, “ungumfana womuntu” ozibiza ngomuntu futhi uyazethemba futhi unesitayela. Walwa nezinduna esemusha futhi uye kudokotela wesikhumba.

Akakaze akhulume nomunye umuntu wesilisa usizo ngesikhumba sakhe futhi uthembele kubangani bakhe besifazane noma izintombi. Uthatha ngokuthi “bazi kakhulu ngalo kunabafana.” (Kusukela ezingxoxweni zami namanye amadoda ngokunakekelwa kwesikhumba, uqinisile.)

UKobby, 36, ulwe nezinduna eseyinsizwa futhi uyaqinisekisa ukuthi ukucela amanye amadoda usizo ngesikhumba sakhe akuyona indlela engcono kakhulu.

“Ngangidlala ibhola, futhi engangidlala naye wabona ingquza enkulu emakhaleni ami. Wathi angiyikhame kuze kuphume ubomvu negazi, bese ngisebenzisa iphedi. Ngakho ngaya ekhaya ngakwenza lokho. ”

Le ndlela, nokho, yamshiya enesibazi. Ngempela. “Ngisenaso isibazi kuze kube namuhla.Manje sengicela umkami angisize ngesikhumba sami. ”

Ngenkathi u-Orville, 60, ehlangabezana nokuqhekeka kwakamuva ngenxa yokudla kwakhe okune-vegan, wacela usizo kumkakhe futhi wayazisa indlela yakhe yokungahluleli. “Uvele wathi angiqale ngisebenzise umswakama nezinto ezinjalo. Wayengagxeki noma yini. Wayefuna ukungisiza nje. ”

Futhi lokho yi-crux yakho konke. Lapho amathiphu okunakekelwa kwesikhumba ekhishwa - kwabesilisa nabesifazane - kuyisenzo sokunakekelwa, ngenxa yothando.

UZahida Sherman uchwepheshe wokuhlukahluka nokufakwa obhala ngamasiko, ubuhlanga, ubulili, nokuba mdala. Uyi-nerd yomlando ne-rookie surfer. Mlandele Instagram futhi Twitter.