Lapho Abahlengikazi Bezempilo Yengqondo Bethembele Kokucwaninga Nokuhlola Izifo kuphela, Wonke Umuntu Uyalahlekelwa

-Delile

• Ngangineminyaka engu-18 futhi ngabona umelaphi wami wokuqala. Kepha bengingazi ukuthi kungathatha iminyaka eyisishiyagalombili ukuthola ukwelashwa okufanele, ingasaphathwa eyokuxilongwa okufanele.
• Lowo dokotela wezifo zengqondo wayengibiza nge- “bipolar.” Lapho ngizama ukubuza imibuzo, wangikhokha ngokungamethembi.
• Kuleli qophelo, ngibonile abahlinzeki aba-10 abehlukene futhi ngathola imibono ehlukene eyi-10 ephuthumayo, ephikisanayo - {textend} futhi ngilahlekelwe yiminyaka eyisishiyagalombili ngohlelo olonakele.
• Nakuba kungakholakali njengoba kuzwakala, iqiniso liwukuthi, okwenzeka kimi kuvame ngokumangazayo.
• Uma ukuhlolwa kwengqondo kuye kwehluleka ukuphendula ngezindlela ezingahambi kahle ezibhekwa iziguli, zibike, futhi zihlangabezane nezimpawu zempilo yengqondo, ukuxilongwa okungalungile kuzoqhubeka kube yinto evamile.
• Ekugcineni ngiba nokuphila okugcwele nokwanelisayo, okwenziwe kwaba khona kuphela ngokuxilonga kahle izimo zempilo yengqondo engihlala nazo empeleni.

Ukuntuleka kokuxhumana nodokotela nesiguli okunengqondo kungabambezela ukutakula ngeminyaka.

"Sam, bekufanele ngikubambe lokho," kusho udokotela wami wezifo zengqondo. "Ngiyaxolisa."

“Lokho” kwakuyisifo esilawula ngokweqile (OCD), isifo engangihlala naso ngokungazi kusukela ngisemncane.

Ngisho ngokungazi ngoba odokotela abahlukene abayi-10, udokotela wami wezifo zengqondo phakathi kwabo, babengitholile ngokungalungile (ngakho) ngakho konke ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo ngaphandle I-OCD. Okubi kakhulu, lokho kwakusho ukuthi ngangilashwe kanzima cishe iminyaka eyishumi - {textend} konke ngezimo zezempilo engingakaze ngiqale ngazo.

Ngakho-ke, ngabe konke kuhamba kuphi okungalungile kabi?

Ngangineminyaka engu-18 futhi ngabona umelaphi wami wokuqala. Kepha bengingazi ukuthi kungathatha iminyaka eyisishiyagalombili ukuthola ukwelashwa okufanele, ingasaphathwa eyokuxilongwa okufanele.

Ngaqala ngokubona umelaphi walokho engingamchaza njengokucindezeleka okujule kakhulu nomugqa wokukhathazeka okungenangqondo engangitatazela usuku nosuku. Lapho ngineminyaka engu-18, ngangithembekile ngokuphelele lapho ngimtshela esimisweni sami sokuqala ukuthi, “Angikwazi ukuqhubeka ngiphila kanjena.”

Akuzange kuthathe isikhathi eside ngaphambi kokuba angincenge ukuthi ngiye kudokotela wezifo zengqondo, okwazi ukuxilonga nokusiza ukuphatha izingcezu eziyindida zamaphazili. Ngavuma ngentshiseko. Ngangifuna igama ngalokho okwakungikhathaza kuyo yonke leyo minyaka.

Naively, ngicabange ukuthi akuhlukanga kangako eqakaleni elicobekile. Ngangifanekisela udokotela onomusa engibingelela ngokuthi, “Manje, yini ebonakala iyinkinga?” kwalandelwa-ke uchungechunge lwemibuzo olucophelelayo olufana nokuthi, “Ingabe kuba buhlungu uma ...” “Uyakwazi uku ...”

Esikhundleni salokho, kwakuyimibuzo yamaphepha kanye ne-gruff, owesifazane okwahlulelayo engibuza, "Uma uqhuba kahle esikoleni, kungani ulapha?" kulandelwe i- “Fine - {textend} ufuna ziphi izidakamizwa?”

Lowo dokotela wezifo zengqondo wayengibiza nge- “bipolar.” Lapho ngizama ukubuza imibuzo, wangikhokha ngokungamethembi.

Ngangiqoqa amalebula amaningi lapho ngihamba ohlelweni lwezempilo yengqondo:

• uhlobo lwe-bipolar II
• uhlobo lwe-bipolar I
• ukuphazamiseka kobuntu bomngcele
• ukukhathazeka ngokweqile
• ukucindezeleka okukhulu
• ukuphazamiseka kwengqondo
• isifo sokuhlukaniswa
• ukuphazamiseka kobuntu kwe-histrionic

Kepha ngenkathi amalebuli eshintsha, impilo yami yengqondo ayishintshanga.

Ngaqhubeka ngaba mubi. Njengoba kwakwengezwa imishanguzo eminingi (ngasikhathi sinye, nganginemithi yokwelapha izifo zengqondo eyisishiyagalombili, eyayihlanganisa i-lithium nemithamo esindayo yama-antipsychotic), odokotela bami bakhungatheka lapho kungekho lutho olubonakala luthuthuka.

Ngemuva kokulaliswa okwesibili esibhedlela, kwavela igobolondo lomuntu eliphukile. Abangani bami, abeza ukuzongilanda esibhedlela, abakukholwanga abakubonile. Nganginomuthi ophusile kangangokuba ngangingakwazi ukuhlanganisa imisho ndawonye.

Isigwebo esisodwa engikwaze ukusho, nokho, savela ngokusobala: “Angisabuyeli lapho futhi. Ngokuzayo ngizozibulala kuqala. ”

Kuleli qophelo, ngibonile abahlinzeki aba-10 abehlukene futhi ngathola imibono ehlukene eyi-10 ephuthumayo, ephikisanayo - {textend} futhi ngilahlekelwe yiminyaka eyisishiyagalombili ngohlelo olonakele.

Kwakungudokotela wezengqondo emtholampilo wezinkinga owayegcina ehlanganisa izingcezu. Ngafika kuye sengiseduze kokulaliswa esibhedlela okwesithathu, ngizama ngamandla ukuthola ukuthi kungani bengingathuthuki.

“Ngicabanga ukuthi ngine-bipolar, noma nginqunyelwe umngcele, noma ... angazi,” ngimtshela.

“Yikho lokho wena ucabange kodwa? ” wangibuza.

Ngimangele ngombuzo wakhe, nganikina ikhanda lami kancane.

Futhi kunokuba anginike uhlu lwemibuzo lwezimpawu ukumaka noma ukufunda uhlu lwezindlela zokuxilonga, uvele wathi, "Ngitshele ukuthi kwenzekani."

Nami ngenza njalo.

Ngangabelana ngemicabango eyeqisayo, ehluphayo eyayingihlasela nsuku zonke. Ngamtshela ngezikhathi engingakwazi ukuzibamba ngazo ukungqongqoza ngokhuni noma ukuqhekeka intamo noma ukuphinda ikheli lami ekhanda, nokuthi ngizizwa kanjani sengathi ngilahlekelwa yingqondo ngempela.

“Sam,” esho kimi. “Kunesikhathi esingakanani bekutshela ukuthi une-bipolar noma umngcele?”

Ngathi: “Iminyaka eyisishiyagalombili.”

Ethukile, wangibuka futhi wathi, “Leli yicala elicace bha lokuphazamiseka ngokweqile engikubonile. Ngizobiza udokotela wakho wezifo zengqondo ngizokhuluma naye. ”

Ngavuma ngekhanda, ngaphelelwa amazwi. Ube esekhipha i-laptop yakhe wagcina engihlolela i-OCD.

Lapho ngibheka irekhodi lami lezokwelapha online ngalobo busuku, inqwaba yamalebula adidayo avela kubo bonke odokotela bami bangaphambilini ayesephelile. Endaweni yayo, kwakukhona eyodwa kuphela: ukuphazamiseka okuphoqelela ngokweqile.

Nakuba kungakholakali njengoba kuzwakala, iqiniso liwukuthi, okwenzeka kimi kuvame ngokumangazayo.

Isifo se-bipolar, ngokwesibonelo, asitholi kahle isikhathi esimangazayo, imvamisa ngoba amaklayenti aletha izimpawu ezicindezelayo awahlali ethathwa njengabamele isifo se-bipolar, ngaphandle kwengxoxo mayelana ne-hypomania noma imania.

I-OCD, ngokufanayo, itholakala kahle kuphela cishe isigamu sesikhathi.

Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi, ngokwengxenye, akuvamile ukuthi kuhlolwe. Okuningi lapho i-OCD ibamba khona isemicabangweni yomuntu. Futhi ngenkathi wonke umtholampilo engimbonile engibuza ngemizwa yami, akekho noyedwa owake wangibuza ukuthi ngabe nginemicabango yini engikhathazayo, ngale kwemicabango yokuzibulala.

Lokhu kuzoba wukugeja okubucayi, ngoba ngaphandle kokuphenya ukuthi kwenzekani ngengqondo, baphuthelwa isiqeshana esibaluleke kakhulu sokuxilonga: imicabango yami engalawuleki.

I-OCD yami yangiholela ekubhekaneni nokushintshashintsha kwemizwelo kuphela ngenxa yokuthi ukukhathazeka kwami ​​kwakungalashwa futhi kwakuvame ukucindezela. Abanye abahlinzeki, lapho ngichaza imicabango yokuphazanyiswa engikutholile, baze bangibiza nangokuthi ngiphanjaniswe nengqondo.

I-ADHD yami - {textend} ebengingakaze ngibuzwe ngayo - {textend} isho ukuthi imizwa yami, lapho bengingakhathazeki kakhulu, ibivame ukuba nesibindi, ibe namandla futhi ibe nomfutho. Lokhu bekuphanjaniswa kaningi ngohlobo oluthile lwe-mania, olunye uphawu lwesifo se-bipolar.

Lokhu kushintshashintsha kwemizwelo kwandiswe yi-anorexia nervosa, ukuphazamiseka kwemikhuba yokudla okwaholela ekutheni ngondle kakhulu, kukhulise ukusebenza kwami ​​ngokomzwelo. Ngangingakaze ngibuze noma imiphi imibuzo ngokudla noma ngomzimba, noma kunjalo - {textend} ngakho-ke inkinga yami yokudla ayizange ivezwe kuze kube yilapho sekudlule isikhathi eside.

Kungakho abahlinzeki abayi-10 abahlukene bangitholile ukuthi nginesifo se-bipolar futhi ngibe nengqinamba ebuntwini obuphakathi kwemingcele, phakathi kwezinye izinto, yize ngingenazo ezinye izimpawu ezivelele zale nkinga.

Uma ukuhlolwa kwengqondo kuye kwehluleka ukuphendula ngezindlela ezingahambi kahle ezibhekwa iziguli, zibike, futhi zihlangabezane nezimpawu zempilo yengqondo, ukuxilongwa okungalungile kuzoqhubeka kube yinto evamile.

Beka enye indlela, ukuhlola kanye nokuhlola kungamathuluzi, kepha akunakubuyisela ukuhlangana okunengqondo kodokotela neziguli, ikakhulukazi lapho kuhunyushwa izindlela ezihlukile umuntu ngamunye achaza ngazo izimpawu zakhe.

Yile ndlela imicabango yami engathandeki eyabizwa ngayo ngokushesha "njenge-psychotic" ne "dissociative" kanye nokushintsha kwemizwelo yami kwathiwa "bipolar." Futhi lapho konke okunye kwehluleka, ukungasabeli kwami ​​ekwelashweni kwavele kwaba inkinga “ngobuntu” bami.

Futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, angikwazi ukungayiqapheli imibuzo engakaze ibuzwe:

• ngabe ngangidla noma cha
• yiziphi izinhlobo zemicabango ebengivame ukuba nazo
• lapho ngangizabalaza khona emsebenzini wami

Noma imiphi yale mibuzo ibizokhanyisa okwakwenzeka ngempela.

Kunezimpawu eziningi kakhulu engingahle ngabe ngazibona nazo ukube bezichazwe nje ngamagama ahambisana nokuhlangenwe nakho kwami.

Uma iziguli zinganikwa isikhala ezisidingayo ukuze zikhulume ngokuvikelekile ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwazo - {textend} futhi zingatshelwa ukuba zabelane ngabo bonke ubukhulu benhlalakahle yazo yengqondo nengokomzwelo, ngisho nalezo ezibonakala “zingabalulekile” ekutheni ziqale kanjani okwamanje - {textend} sizohlala njalo sinesithombe esingaphelele salokho isiguli esikudingayo empeleni.

Ekugcineni ngiba nokuphila okugcwele nokwanelisayo, okwenziwe kwaba khona kuphela ngokuxilonga kahle izimo zempilo yengqondo engihlala nazo empeleni.

Kepha ngisele nomuzwa ocwilayo. Ngenkathi ngikwazi ukubambelela kule minyaka eyishumi edlule, angikaze ngiphumelele.

Iqiniso ukuthi, imibuzo yemibuzo nezingxoxo ezihlanganisiwe azimcabangeli umuntu ophelele.

Futhi ngaphandle kombono ophelele, ophelele wesiguli, sinamathuba amaningi okuthi singaphuthelwa ama-nuances ahlukanisa ukuphazamiseka okufana ne-OCD ekukhathazekeni nasekucindezelekeni okuvela kuphazamiseko lwe-bipolar, phakathi kwabanye.

Lapho iziguli zifika zinempilo ebuthaka yengqondo, njengoba zivame ukwenza, azikwazi ukubambezela ukululama kwazo.

Ngoba kubantu abaningi kakhulu, ngisho nonyaka owodwa nje ukwelashwa okungaqondisiwe kubeka engcupheni yokulahlekelwa yibo - {textend} ekukhathaleni kokwelashwa noma ngisho nasekuzibulaleni - {textend} ngaphambi kokuba bathole ithuba langempela lokululama.

USam Dylan Finch ungumhleli wezempilo yezengqondo kanye nezimo ezingapheli eHealthline. Futhi uyi-blogger ngemuva kwe-Let Queer Things Up !, lapho abhala khona ngempilo yengqondo, ukuzethemba komzimba, kanye nobunikazi be-LGBTQ +. Njengommeli, unentshisekelo yokwakhela umphakathi abantu abaphila kabusha. Ungamthola ku-Twitter, ku-Instagram naku-Facebook, noma ufunde kabanzi ku-samdylanfinch.com.