Ngayifundisa Kanjani Indodakazi Yami Yasenkulisa Ukuba Iqine Nabahlukumezi

-Delile

• Sinenkinga lapha
• Kusencane kangakanani ukuthi izingane zingakuqonda ukuxhashazwa?
• Kungani ngifundisa indodakazi yami ukuthi ivale izinkabi ngokushesha
• Imiphumela: Indodakazi yami eneminyaka esenkulisa ivele yamelana nesiqhwaga!
• Ngakho-ke, kungani lokhu kubalulekile?

Ifika ebaleni lokudlala ngosuku oluhle ehlobo eledlule, indodakazi yami ngokushesha yabona umfana omncane ovela endaweni ayedlala nayo njalo. Kwamjabulisa ukuthi wayekhona ukuze bakwazi ukujabulela ipaki ndawonye.

Ngenkathi sisondela kumfana nonina, sathola ngokushesha ukuthi wayekhala. Indodakazi yami, ekubeni ingumondli, ikhathazeke kakhulu. Uqale ukumbuza ukuthi kungani ecasukile. Umfana omncane akazange aphendule.

Ngathi sengizobuza ukuthi kwenzenjani, kwaqhamuka omunye umfanyana egijima wamemeza, “Ngikushaye ngoba uyisilima futhi umubi!”

Uyabona, umfanyana owayekhala wayezelwe enokukhula ohlangothini lwesokunene lobuso bakhe. Indodakazi yami nami besikhulume ngalokhu ekuqaleni kwehlobo futhi benginokhahlo ekumaziseni ukuthi asikhohlakele kubantu ngoba babukeka noma benza okuhlukile kunathi. Wayehlala embandakanya ekudlaleni ihlobo lonke ngemuva kwenkulumo yethu engavumi nhlobo ukuthi kukhona okuvele kwehlukile ngaye.

Ngemuva kwalokhu kuhlangana okuyishwa, umama nendodana yakhe bahamba. Indodakazi yami yamgona ngokushesha yamtshela ukuthi angakhali. Kwangifudumeza inhliziyo ukubona isenzo esimnandi kangaka.

Kodwa njengoba ungacabanga, ukubona lokhu kuhlangana kwaletha imibuzo eminingi engqondweni yendodakazi yami.

Sinenkinga lapha

Akuphelanga sikhathi umfana omncane ehambile, wangibuza ukuthi kungani omunye umama womfana emvumela ukuba abe nonya. Wabona ukuthi kwakuhluke ngokuphelele kulokho engangimtshele khona ngaphambili. Lesi yisikhathi lapho ngabona khona ukuthi kufanele ngimfundise ukuthi angabaleki iziqhwaga. Kungumsebenzi wami njengomama wakhe ukumfundisa ukuvala iziqhwaga ukuze angabi sesimweni lapho ukuzethemba kwakhe kuqedwa yizenzo zomunye umuntu.

Ngenkathi lesi simo bekungukuqondana ngqo, ingqondo yasesenkulisa ayithuthukiswa ngaso sonke isikhathi ngokwanele ukuthi ibone lapho othile ebabeka phansi ngobuqili noma engemuhle.

Njengabazali, kwesinye isikhathi singazizwa sisuswe kakhulu kokuhlangenwe nakho kwethu ebuntwaneni kangangokuba kunzima ukukhumbula ukuthi kwakunjani ukuhlukunyezwa. Eqinisweni, ngikhohliwe ukuthi ukuxhashazwa kungenzeka kusukela kusenkulisa ngize ngibone leso sigameko esibuhlungu ebaleni lokudlala ehlobo.

Ukuhlukumeza akukaze kukhulunywe ngakho ngisemncane. Angifundiswanga ukuthi ngingabona kanjani noma ngivale isiqhwaga ngokushesha. Bengifuna ukwenza kangcono ngendodakazi yami.

Kusencane kangakanani ukuthi izingane zingakuqonda ukuxhashazwa?

Ngolunye usuku, ngabuka indodakazi yami ihluthwa intombazanyana ekilasini layo ivuna omunye umngane.

Kwaphula inhliziyo yami ukuyibona, kepha indodakazi yami yayingazi lutho. Uqhubeke nokuzama ukujoyina ubumnandi. Yize lokho kungekhona ukuxhashazwa, kungikhumbuze ukuthi izingane azikwazi ngaso sonke isikhathi ukuqonda lapho othile engalungile noma engenabo ubulungiswa kubo ezimweni ezingabonakali kahle.

Kamuva ngalobo busuku, indodakazi yami yaveza okwakwenzekile futhi yangitshela ukuthi izwa sengathi le ntombazanyana ayiyiphathi kahle, njengoba nje nomfana omncane epaki wayengemuhle. Mhlawumbe kumthathe isikhashana ukucubungula okwakwenzekile, noma wayengenawo amagama okuzwakalisa ngomzuzu wokuthi imizwa yakhe yayilimazekile.

Kungani ngifundisa indodakazi yami ukuthi ivale izinkabi ngokushesha

Ngemuva kwazo zombili lezi zehlakalo, sibe nengxoxo mayelana nokuzimela, kepha sibe mnandi kulokho. Vele, bekufanele ngiyibeke kumagama asenkulisa. Ngimtshele ukuthi ngabe kukhona umuntu ongahle futhi kumdabukisile kufanele abatshele. Ngigcizelele ukuthi ukuba nonya emuva akwamukelekile. Ngikuqhathanise nesikhathi lapho ecasuka futhi engithethisa (asibe neqiniso, yonke ingane ithukuthelela abazali bayo). Ngambuza ukuthi angathanda yini uma ngimbuyisela kuye. Wathi, “Cha Mama, lokho kungayilimaza imizwa yami.”

Ngalesi sikhathi, ngifuna ukumfundisa ukuthi enze okuhle kakhulu kwezinye izingane. Ngifuna azimele futhi abatshele ukuthi KULUNGILE ukumzwisa ubuhlungu. Ukufunda ukubona lapho okuthile kubuhlungu manje nokuzimela kuzokwakha isisekelo esiqinile sendlela abhekana ngayo nokuxhashazwa okwandayo njengoba ekhula.

Imiphumela: Indodakazi yami eneminyaka esenkulisa ivele yamelana nesiqhwaga!

Kungekudala ngemuva kokuthi sixoxe ngokuthi akulungile ukuthi ezinye izingane zimenze azizwe edabukile, ngabona indodakazi yami itshela intombazane enkundleni yokudlala ukuthi ukuyicindezela phansi kwakungekuhle. Wambheka ngqo emehlweni, njengoba ngangimfundisa ukwenza, wathi: "Ngicela ungangicindezeli, akukuhle!"

Isimo saba ngcono ngokushesha. Ngisukile ekubukeni le enye intombazane inamandla futhi ngishaya indiva indodakazi yami ukuyifaka emdlalweni wokucasha nokufuna ebiwudlala. Womabili la mantombazane aqhume!

Ngakho-ke, kungani lokhu kubalulekile?

Ngikholelwa ngokuqinile ukuthi sifundisa abantu ukuthi basiphathe kanjani. Ngiyakholelwa futhi ukuthi ukuhlukumeza kuyindlela yomphakathi. Njengoba singathandi ukucabanga ngezingane zethu njengeziqhwaga, iqiniso liwukuthi, kuyenzeka. Kungumsebenzi wethu njengabazali ukufundisa izingane zethu indlela yokuphatha abanye abantu. Njengoba ngatshela indodakazi yami ukuthi mayizimele futhi yazise enye ingane ukuthi iyenze nini lapho imdabukisa, kubaluleke ngokufanayo ukuthi akuyena owenza enye ingane ibe lusizi. Yingakho ngimbuze ukuthi uzozizwa kanjani uma ngimbuyisela kuye. Uma okuthile kungamdabukisa, ngakho-ke akufanele akwenze komunye umuntu.

Izingane zilingisa indlela yokuziphatha eziyibona ekhaya. Njengowesifazane, uma ngivumela ukuhlukunyezwa ngumyeni wami, leso yisibonelo engizobe ngisibekela indodakazi yami. Uma ngiqhubeka ngithethisa umyeni wami, khona-ke ngiyambonisa nokuthi kulungile ukuthi ube nonya futhi uhlukumeze abanye abantu. Kuqala ngathi njengabazali. Vula inkhulumomphendvulwano ekhaya lakho nezingane zakho mayelana nokuthi yini nokuziphatha okungamukeleki ukubonisa noma ukwamukela kusuka kwabanye. Ngokuqaphelayo kwenze kube phambili ukubeka isibonelo ekhaya ofuna izingane zakho zilingise emhlabeni.

UMonica Froese ungumama osebenzayo ohlala eBuffalo, eNew York, nomyeni wakhe nendodakazi eneminyaka emithathu. Uthole i-MBA yakhe ngo-2010 futhi njengamanje ungumqondisi wezokumaketha. Ubhuloga ku-Redefining Mom, lapho egxila ekunikezeni amandla abanye besifazane ababuyela emsebenzini ngemuva kokuba nezingane. Ungamthola ku-Twitter naku-Instagram lapho abelana khona ngamaqiniso athakazelisayo ngokuba ngumama osebenzayo nakuFacebook nakuPinterest lapho abelana khona zonke izinsizakusebenza zakhe zokuphatha impilo yomama abasebenzayo.