Ungazinqoba Kanjani Izimo Zokuphila Ezinzima Kakhulu

-Delile

• Vumela Imizwelo Ibuse
• Zikhulise
• Qaphela Umqondo Wakho Udlala Imidlalo
• Gwema Ihaba
• Funda Kokwedlule
• Cabanga Ngokufanele
• Nikeza Isikhathi
• Buyekeza kwe-

"Dlula kuyo." Iseluleko esilula sibonakala silula, kodwa kuwumzukuzuku ukubeka izimo ezinjengokwehlukana okunonya, umngane ohlabayo, noma ukulahlekelwa othandekayo esikhathini esidlule. "Uma okuthile kukuzwise ubuhlungu obungokomzwelo, kungaba nzima kakhulu ukuqhubeka nempilo," kusho uRachel Sussman, isazi sezobudlelwano nombhali we IBhayibheli Esehlukanisayo. "Le micimbi ingadala izingqinamba ezinkulu ezingokwengqondo, ezingathatha isikhathi eside ukubuyisana."

Nakuba kungaba nzima ukubhekana nezinto, kuyafaneleka, kukho kokubili impilo yakho yengqondo neyomzimba. "Ukubambelela emizweni engemihle kuholela ekucindezelekeni okungapheli nokudangala, okuyizifundo ezixhumanise nokuzuza kwesisindo, ingozi eyandayo yesifo senhliziyo, nezinye izinkinga ezinkulu zempilo," kusho uCynthia Ackrill, M.D., udokotela onguchwepheshe kwezinzwa kanye nokuphathwa kwengcindezi.

Ngakho donsa umoya futhi ulungele ukukhulula umthwalo wakho ongokomzwelo. Ngenkathi ukunqoba ubunzima kuyinkqubo eyingqayizivele futhi kuyahlukahluka kuwo wonke umuntu, lawa masu angaguqula noma yikuphi ukuqhuma komgwaqo kube yithuba lokukhula.

Vumela Imizwelo Ibuse

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Izinsuku ezimbalwa zokuqala ngemuva kwesigameko esibuhlungu sesinamandla emzimbeni, ngokwengqondo, ngokomzwelo nangokomoya, kusho u-Ackrill, futhi sonke sisabela ngendlela ehlukile. Zinike isikhathi sokumemeza, ukubangalasa, ugoqane usesimweni somntwana, futhi uzizwe noma ngabe wenza kanjani ngaphandle kokwahlulela. I-caveat eyodwa: Uma ngemuva kwamasonto ambalwa usaqhubeka nokudikibala, uzizwe ungenathemba ngokuphelele, noma ucabanga ukuzibulala, sekuyisikhathi sokufuna usizo lochwepheshe bezengqondo.

Zikhulise

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Lapho ubhekene nesimo esicindezelayo, kubaluleke kakhulu ukuzinakekela nokwenza ukulala, ukudla okunempilo, nokuzivocavoca umzimba kube yinto eza kuqala. "Lezo zinto zizokunikeza amandla omqondo wokucabanga kahle futhi ubhekane nesimo," kusho u-Ackrill, enezela ukuthi ukuzilolonga kuzosiza ukukhulula amandla okukhathazeka futhi kukhulule ama-endorphin azizwa ejabule. [Thwitha leli thiphu!]

Ukuzwela okuncane kuyadingeka futhi. "Abantu abaningi bavame ukuzibeka icala ngezigameko ezingezinhle, ezikhulisa umuzwa wecala neminye imizwa engemihle," kusho uSussman. Yize kufanele uzibophezele ngezenzo zakho, khumbula ukuthi bekungewena wedwa umdlali okulesi simo. Zama ukungacabangi, "Bekufanele ngenze kangcono," kepha kunalokho zitshele, "ngenze konke okusemandleni ami."

Qaphela Umqondo Wakho Udlala Imidlalo

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"Ngemuva nje kokudlikiza, ubuchopho bakho budlala ngawe yonke inhlobo yamaqhinga futhi kungakwenza uzizwe sengathi ungakuhlehlisa okwenzekile," kusho u-Ackrill. Ngaphambi kokuthi ushayele owake wakudala ukuthi abuyisane futhi ahlangane futhi noma athumele i-imeyili umqashi womsebenzi ukumqinisekisa ukuthi wenze iphutha ngokungakuqashi, thatha ikhefu lengqondo futhi uqaphele ukuthi ingqondo yakho iyazula le micabango engaphusile. Kungase kusize ukuwabhala phansi ukuze uwafunde futhi ngemva kwamahora ambalwa. Ukubona imicabango yakho ephepheni kukuphoqa ukuthi ubheke lokho ubuchopho bakho obukutshela kona ukuze ubuze ukuthi leyo micabango iyiqiniso yini noma kukhuluma imizwa yakho kuphela,” kuchaza u-Ackrill. Buza ukuthi imicabango inayiphi injongo: ukuhlehlisa isigameko noma ukuthuthuka ngaso?

Gwema Ihaba

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Ukuze udlule esimweni esinzima, okokuqala udinga ukuqonda ukuthi yini okusinda ngempela. "Izikhathi eziningi okubangela ukuphazamiseka ngokomzwelo akuwona umcimbi uqobo-kungukwesaba ukuthi umcimbi ubangele ukuthi ube nakho, njengokuthi, 'Nginele yini?' noma 'Ngilufanele uthando?' "kusho u-Ackrill.

Njengoba ubuchopho bethu buxhunywe ukuzwela ezinsongweni ngenxa yezizathu zokusinda, izingqondo zethu zivame ukubheka izinto ezimbi. [Thumela leli qiniso!] Ngakho-ke lapho sicasukile, kulula kakhulu ukufaka izinkathazo zethu engozini: "Ngilahlekelwe umsebenzi" kungaba lula ukuthi "Angisophinde ngisebenze," ngenkathi isehlukaniso singakwenza ucabange, "Akekho umuntu oyophinde angithande."

Ngaphambi kokuthi ungene kugalani lika-ayisikhilimu we-mocha fudge, yazi ukuthi ubuchopho bakho bugxumela ekwenzeni ihaba futhi uzibuze: Ingabe ngifuna ukuba ubani kulesi simo, isisulu noma umuntu owuthatha ngomusa futhi ofuna ukukhula? Futhi khumbula ukubhujiswa kwangaphambilini osindile futhi ucabange ukuthi ungawasebenzisa kanjani amakhono owafundile ukuze uphumelele kulesi simo futhi.

Funda Kokwedlule

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Uma uphatheke kabi ngokulahlekelwa okuthile, kungaba umsebenzi, ubungane, noma ifulethi lamaphupho, zibuze: Hlobo luni lwamathemba enganginalo? "Ubuchopho bethu buza nezindaba ezinethemba kakhulu ngezimo," kusho u-Ackrill. Kepha lokhu kucabanga akunangqondo futhi akulungile kuwe nakomunye umuntu.

Ukuze uzisize uzilungiselele kangcono esikhathini esizayo, hlola lokho okudingayo ngempela ebuhlotsheni, umsebenzi, noma ubungane, futhi ulungise lokho okulindele. “Cabanga ubunzima obudlule njengocwaningo,” kutusa u-Ackrill. "Ekugcineni uzokwazi ukubheka emuva futhi uqaphele lokho okufundile kulobo budlelwano noma kulowo mphathi omubi." Mhlawumbe udinga ukuthuthukisa amakhono athile, noma ngabe ukufunda ukuxhumana kangcono noma ukuqonda uhlelo olusha lwekhompyutha, ukuze uzizwe unamandla athe xaxa ngokuzayo.

Cabanga Ngokufanele

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Kungase kuzwakale kucashile, kodwa kunoma yisiphi isimo esinzima, ungakhohlwa ukuthi uzodlula kulokhu ekugcineni. "Uma ubona ukuthi izinto zizobangcono ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, kuzokusiza ezikhathini ezinzima kakhulu," kusho uSussman. Uma umkhwenyana wakho ekopela, yazi ukuthi uzophinde uhlangane nendoda eqotho, enothando futhi. Noma uma udiliziwe emsebenzini, uzothola omunye umsebenzi onomvuzo. Iphuzu elibalulekile: Bheka ngokugqamile ikusasa, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yisiphi isimo sakho samanje.

Nikeza Isikhathi

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Uma kukhulunywa ngokuxilongwa okukhulu kokugula, ukufa kwelungu lomndeni, ingozi yemoto - akukho ncomo esilingana nobuso bonke, kusho uSussman. Izinto ezimbili ezihlala zisiza, noma kunjalo, ukusekelwa komphakathi nesikhathi.

Ungahle ukhethe ukuba wedwa ekuqaleni, bese uyaqhubeka nokujabulela "isikhathi sami," vele uqiniseke ukuthi ekugcineni uvumela abangani namalungu omndeni ukuthi bakunikeze uthando lwabo. “Ukuba wedwa isikhathi eside akunempilo, futhi ukuxhumana nabantu kukusiza ukuthi uzizwe ungcono ekugcineni,” kusho u-Ackrill.

Bese ubekezela. "Njengokusika noma ukusika, isilonda esingokomzwelo intando ekugcineni ilulame ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, "usho kanje.

Buyekeza kwe-