6 Izindlela Zokuqala Ukuqomisana Lapho Unenkathazo

-Delile

• Umjikelezo omuhle wokwesaba obambe iqhaza ekuthandaneni nokukhathazeka
• 1. Hlola ukucabanga kwakho
• Inselele imicabango emibi lapho ivela.
• 2. Yikhiphele obala
• 3. Ziphushele ekubeni nethemba
• “Yehlisa ijubane uqale ukubheka izinto ezakhayo. Funa ubufakazi bokuthi izinto zihamba kahle nokuthi usuku lwakho luyakuthanda. ”
• 4. Woza uzilungiselele
• 5. Hlala ukhona
• Esikhundleni salokho, thinta izinzwa zakho zomzimba.
• 6. Cela ukuqinisekiswa, kodwa funa ibhalansi
• Nguwe kuphela umuntu okwazi ukuphatha ukukhathazeka kwakho, ngakho-ke yakha ibhokisi lakho lamathuluzi.

Masibe ngokoqobo ngomzuzwana. Ababaningi abantu njenge ukuphola.

Ukuba sengozini kunzima. Imvamisa, umcabango wokuzibeka lapho okokuqala ngqa uvusa ukukhathazeka - ukusho okuncane.

Kepha kubantu abanezinkinga zokukhathazeka, okuhlukile ekuphenduleni kwemvelo komzimba ekubeni novalo nje, ukuqomisana kungaba nzima kakhulu futhi kube yinkimbinkimbi - kangangoba abantu abanenkathazo bangakhetha ukuphuma ngokuphelele.

Umjikelezo omuhle wokwesaba obambe iqhaza ekuthandaneni nokukhathazeka

"Ubudlelwano obuseduze bukhulisa ubuntu bethu, ngakho-ke uma usuvele ulwa nokukhathazeka, kuzobonakala nakakhulu lapho usukulungele ukusondelana nothile," kusho uKaren McDowell, PhD, kanye nomqondisi wezempilo we-AR Psychological Services.

NgokukaMcDowell, ukukhathazeka kubangelwa kakhulu yimicabango yethu. Lapho ingqondo yethu icubungula izinto ngokwesaba, siqala ukufuna ngokuzenzekelayo izinto eziqinisekisa lokhu kwesaba.

Uthi, "Ngakho-ke, uma wesaba ukuthi awuthandeki, ukuthi usuku lwakho ngeke lukuthande, noma ukuthi uzokwenza noma usho okuthile okuxakayo, ubuchopho bakho buzongena ngokweqile bezama ukuqinisekisa izinsolo zayo."

Ngenhlanhla, ungashintsha lawo maphethini wokucabanga.

Uma unexhala futhi ufuna ukuqala ukuphola, nazi izindlela ezimbalwa zokuqala ukuphonsela inselelo imijikelezo yemicabango emibi ebikubambe emuva esikhathini esedlule.

1. Hlola ukucabanga kwakho

Isinyathelo sokuqala sokuphonsela inselelo kunoma yiluphi uhlobo lwemicabango engemihle ukuyikhuluma, ukuyikhomba, nokuyifaka esikhundleni sayo.

“Kubantu abanokukhathazeka, imicabango yabo ezenzekelayo, noma imicabango efika ezingqondweni zabo njengoba becabanga ngokuthandana, zivame ukuba nezimbi futhi zigxile ekungakulungeli ngokwanele noma ukuthi abanye bazobenqaba lapho sebebazi,” kusho Lesia M. Ruglass, PhD, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo emtholampilo.

Inselele imicabango emibi lapho ivela.

Isibonelo, zibuze, "Ngabe ngiyazi ngokuqinisekile ukuthi ngizokwaliwa?" Noma, "Noma usuku lungasebenzi, lokho kusho ukuthi ngingumuntu omubi?" Impendulo yakho kokubili ayikho.

Enye yezinto ezibaluleke kakhulu ongayenza ukuzama ukuthulisa umgxeki wakho wangaphakathi ngenkathi usesikhathini. Khumbula ukuthi empeleni abantu bakhetha ukungapheleli. Uma wenza iphutha, kungakhuphula nokuthanda kwakho.

2. Yikhiphele obala

Kungazwakala kukuncane, kepha ukuxhumana empeleni kuyisihluthulelo esivula iminyango eminingi. Ukusho imizwa yakho kuyindlela engcono kakhulu yokususa amandla abo amabi.

Lokho kusho ukuthi, ukuxhumana okuzungeze ukukhathazeka kaningi kunzima ukukwenza, kepha futhi kuyadingeka kakhulu. Lapho uqala ukuthandana nothile, kufanele uthathe isinqumo sokuthi uzodalula malini ngokukhathazeka kwakho.

Njengoba abantu abaningi behlangabezane nesiqephu sokukhathazeka, ukutshela usuku lwakho kungaba ngumzuzu wokubopha, ngokusho kukaMcDowell.

Noma unganquma ukungabelani nosuku lwakho, nakho okulungile ngokuphelele. Uma kunjalo, "Kungaba usizo ukufaka umngani ukuthi akusize ukhulume futhi ucubungule lokho kukhathazeka ngakho-ke akugcini nje ngokugunda ekhanda lakho," kusho uMcDowell.

3. Ziphushele ekubeni nethemba

Kwesinye isikhathi, kulula ukuzikholisa ukuthi usuku luhamba kabi ngoba yilokho esifuna ukukukholelwa.

Kubizwa ngokuqagela, futhi kuyisibuko nje salokho esikucabangayo ngathi, hhayi ukuthi abanye abantu bacabangani ngathi.

"Uma uzithola ukhathazeka ngokuthi izinto zihamba kabi noma ukuthi usuku lwakho alunantshisekelo, yeka wena," kusho uKathy Nickerson, PhD, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo emtholampilo esigxile ekwelulekeni kwezithandani.

“Yehlisa ijubane uqale ukubheka izinto ezakhayo. Funa ubufakazi bokuthi izinto zihamba kahle nokuthi usuku lwakho luyakuthanda. ”

Isibonelo, naka ukuthi ngabe bayamamatheka lapho behlala etafuleni, bebuza nge-movie oyikhonzile, noma babelana ngokuthize ngomndeni wabo.

Kungaba usizo ukuthola imantra ekhuluma nawe. Yisho kuwe izikhathi ezimbalwa lapho ukuzithemba kuqala ukungena khona.

4. Woza uzilungiselele

Njenganoma yini esenza singakhululeki, ukulungiselela okuncane kungahamba ibanga elide. Ukuqomisana akuhlukile.

Ukulungiselela amaphuzu okuxoxa noma imibuzo ozoyilungela kungakusiza uzizwe ulawula okwengeziwe esimweni esingahle sikucindezele.

Wonke umuntu uyathanda ukukhuluma ngaye, ngakho-ke uma kunokuthula phakathi nengxoxo, finyelela omunye wemibuzo ozoyithola. Eminye emikhulu ingaba:

• Yini oyibuke kakhulu ku-Netflix muva nje?
• Yimaphi ama-albhamu wakho okufanele ube nawo amahlanu?
• Uma ungapakisha ipotimende bese uya noma yikuphi kusasa, ungaya kuphi?

5. Hlala ukhona

Uma udonsa kanzima okwamanje, zama ukukhumbula ukuzibuyisa okwamanje. Ukuhlala ekhanda lakho kungasho ukuthi ulahlekelwe yiningi ledethi.

Esikhundleni salokho, thinta izinzwa zakho zomzimba.

Yini oyibonayo? Yini ongayizwa? Kunuka? Nambitha? Ukugxila emininingwaneni ezungeze wena kuzokubuyisela esikhathini samanje.

6. Cela ukuqinisekiswa, kodwa funa ibhalansi

Ngaphezu kwakho konke, khumbula ukuthi isihluthulelo sokuzola ukulinganisela.

Abanye abantu abanokukhathazeka okukhulu babamba inkolelo yokuthi kungumsebenzi womunye umuntu ukulawula imizwa yabo.

Lapho bezizwa bekhathazekile, benesizungu, bekhathazekile, noma benqatshiwe, bacela ukuthi abalingani babo banikeze isiqiniseko esihlala njalo, noma mhlawumbe bashintshe nokuziphatha kwabo, njengokubuyisa imibhalo ngokushesha noma bazibophezele ngokushesha ebudlelwaneni obusha.

"Ukucela isiqiniseko kuyithuluzi elihle kakhulu, kepha uma uhlala ulindele ukuthi lowo ozoba umlingani wakho abhekane nokukhathazeka kwakho, ngeke uzithole usubudlelwaneni obujabulisayo," kusho uMcDowell.

Nguwe kuphela umuntu okwazi ukuphatha ukukhathazeka kwakho, ngakho-ke yakha ibhokisi lakho lamathuluzi.

UMcDowell uncoma amasu afana nokubeka imingcele, ukuhlonipha umngcele, umthethonqubo womzwelo, ukuxhumana, nokuzithiba kanye nokuzikhulumela.

Uma ungaqiniseki ukuthi uzoqala kuphi, umelaphi angakusiza uqale ukwenza uhlelo.

Ukukhathazeka akudingi ukukuvimba ekungeneni endaweni yokuphola. Njengoba uthinta amathuluzi ahlukene nezinhlelo zokusekela, khumbula ukuthi ukuphola kuba lula ngokuzijwayeza.

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