Indlela Yokwenza Abangane Lapho Unenkathazo Yomphakathi

-Delile

• Kuyini enhliziyweni yokukhathazeka komphakathi?
• 1. Vumelana ukuthi awuvumelani nemicabango yakho engemihle
• 2. Ukulwa, hhayi ukundiza
• 3. Bheka ukusetshenziswa kwakho kobuchwepheshe
• 4. Zama ukuhlolwa kokuhlolwa
• 5. Vula ukwelashwa kwe-CBT
• 6. Khumbula njalo ukuzinakekela

Ukwenza abangane kunzima - ikakhulukazi njengomuntu omdala. Kepha ukwenza abangani kungaba nzima kakhulu kubantu ababhekana nenkinga yokukhathazeka komphakathi.

Kujwayelekile ukuthi kube nezinga eliphakeme lokukhathazeka lapho uhlangana nabantu abasha, kepha kukhona umehluko phakathi kokukhathazeka sonke esikuthola ngezikhathi ezithile nokukhathazeka komphakathi.

Kuyini enhliziyweni yokukhathazeka komphakathi?

Ukukhathazeka komphakathi kubangelwa ukuba nokwesaba ngokweqile ukwahlulelwa ngabantu, noma ngabe ukukhathazeka ukuthi ngeke uthandwe noma uzokwenza okuthile okululazayo.

Kubantu abanenkinga yokukhathazeka komphakathi, ukuxhumana nomphakathi nsuku zonke - ngisho nabangane abasunguliwe - kungadala ukukhathazeka.

Uma kukhulunywa ngokwenza abangane abasha, abantu abanenkathazo yezenhlalo bangazithola bekhubazekile, besaba ukusho into engalungile, noma bahlulelwe kanzima.

Noma bazi ukuthi lokhu kwesaba akunangqondo, izimo zomphakathi zisabangela izimpawu zokukhathazeka. Bangase bavale, bahoxe, noma babe novalo olubonakalayo.

Kulabo abanokukhathazeka kwezenhlalo, kepha abafuna ukwenza abangane abasha, nanka amanye amasu angakusiza uzizwe ukhululekile ezimeni zenhlalo, ekuvulele ukuxhumana okusha.

1. Vumelana ukuthi awuvumelani nemicabango yakho engemihle

Omunye wemigqa yokuqala yokuzivikela uma kukhulunywa ngezimo zenhlalo yabantu abanenkathazo yezenhlalo ukufaka udonga lwemicabango engemihle, njengokuthi "Ngizozithoba." Ukuphendula okuzenzakalelayo.

Ukufunda ukuvuma ukungavumelani nalokhu kusabela kokuqala kungaba yindlela yokuzicindezela - futhi ekugcineni kunciphise izinkolelo ezingezinhle. Lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi ukuqeqeshwa ilukuluku.

“Indlela lokhu kusebenza ngayo ngumuntu onenkinga yezenhlalo uzokuzwa le micabango futhi angahluleli, kepha ayibeke ngemuva kwengqondo yabo. Kuba wumsindo wangemuva ngenkathi behlangana ukuze bakwazi ukuthatha ingqondo yokufuna ukwazi, ”kusho uDkt. Allison Forti, PhD, umsizi kaprofesa eWake Forest University.

Lokhu kusho ukuthi unelukuluku lokuthi abantu bathini, kunokuba ubamukele njengokuhlola.

Masibe neqiniso. Ukuvala ngokuphelele imicabango engemihle akuvamile ukusebenza. Esikhundleni salokho, nansi indlela yokungabanjwa kakhulu kuzo:

• Bona umcabango wakho omubi ukuthi uyini - umcabango nje.
• Ungahluleli umcabango wakho noma wena ngokwakho.
• Vumela ukuthi igudluzele ngemuva ngokugcina ukuhlolwa okungathathi hlangothi noma okweqile. Cabanga ukuthi "Kungumcabango nje, hhayi iqiniso ngokoqobo" noma "Ngiyavuma ukungavumelani, ukukhathazeka."
• Ongakukhetha: Cabanga ngesinye isimo noma umphumela oqondile.

2. Ukulwa, hhayi ukundiza

Kungokwemvelo ukufuna ukugwema izinto ezikusabisayo.Kepha ukugwema izimo ezikubangela empeleni kungenza ukukhathazeka kube kubi kakhulu ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

UDkt. Victoria Shaw, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, uthi: “Lapho sizichaya ezimweni esizesabayo, siba namandla okuhamba kuzo.

“Akudingeki uhlanye futhi ubhekane nokwesaba kwakho okukhulu ngasikhathi sinye. Empeleni kungcono kakhulu ukuqala ngezimo ezingaphatheki kahle kancane bese uthuthuka kancane kancane uhlangane nalezo okungenzeka ukuthi bezikuthumele uvalo lonke, ”kuchaza uShaw.

Isibonelo, ungasebenza udlule kulezi zinhloso uma ujwayele ukuhlangana lapho uhlangana nabantu abasha:

• thinta iso lomuntu ongamazi
• amamatheke ngomuntu ongamazi
• zazise kothile omusha
• buza umuntu ohlangane nombuzo nje
• nika umuntu omusha ukuncoma

Ukusebenza nodokotela kungasiza ekuboneni ukuthi ungaqala kuphi - futhi wandise kancane kancane indawo yakho yokududuza.

3. Bheka ukusetshenziswa kwakho kobuchwepheshe

Ubuchwepheshe buyindlela entsha yokuxhumana nabantu, kodwa futhi bungaqhubekisela phambili ukukhathazeka komphakathi.

"Yinkemba esika nhlangothi zombili," kusho uDkt Forti. "Kulula kakhulu ukuhlangana nabantu ngocingo lwethu ukuthi kube yindlela yokuthi umuntu onenkinga yezenhlalo athi, 'Angidingi kushintsha. Ngingaba nabo bonke abangane engibadingayo ngaphandle kwekhompyutha yami. ’”

Kungani ubeke phansi ifoni lapho? Ukuxhumeka okungaphakathi komuntu kungahle kube kunalokho okuku-inthanethi.

Yebo, ukuxhumana okuxhumeke ku-inthanethi kungcono kunokungabikho nhlobo. Kepha zibuze lo mbuzo: Ngabe usebenzisa i-tech ukugwema izimo zomphakathi? Noma uyayithokozela futhi ingabe yenza impilo ibengconywana - ngenkathi ilinganiswa nokuxhumana nabantu?

4. Zama ukuhlolwa kokuhlolwa

Ukukhathazeka komphakathi kwesinye isikhathi kungazizwa kudla konke, futhi izimo ezingajwayelekile nabantu abasha zingakwenza kubi kakhulu.

Ukusiza ukukhulula ukuzizwa ukhungathekile, zama ukuhlolwa kokuqalisa ngaphambi komcimbi omkhulu ukuze okungenani ingxenye ethile yenkambiso izwakale ijwayelekile.

Isibonelo, zijwayeze ukuhamba, bheka izitolo zekhofi eziseduze nendawo oya kuyo, noma vakashela indawo yomsebenzi ngaphambi kwesikhathi ukuze ukwazi ukubona indawo ozobaleka kuyo okwesikhashana uma uzizwa ukhathazekile kakhulu.

5. Vula ukwelashwa kwe-CBT

Ukwelashwa kokukhuluma kuhlala kuyindlela yokwelapha noma yikuphi ukukhathazeka. Uma kukhulunywa ngokukhathazeka kwezenhlalo, ukwelashwa kokuziphatha kwengqondo (CBT) ukwelashwa okusebenza kakhulu.

I-CBT igcwele amasu angasiza ukuphatha imicabango yakho, imizwa yakho, kanye nokuphendula komzimba ezimweni zenhlalo.

Enye indlela umelaphi angayisebenzisa yindlela yokuchayeka. Iveza iziguli ezimeni ezisabekayo futhi iphakamisa nezindlela zokuphatha ukwesaba.

Isibonelo, ungaqala ngombono wamaminithi amathathu wesimo esithile senhlalo noma ukuhlangana okubangela ukukhathazeka. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ungangeza isikhathi esengeziwe sokubona, uziveze esimweni ngamanani amancane (cabanga: ukubingelela i-barista yakho), futhi ekugcineni uthole iziqu ezimeni ezisabekayo.

Njengoba uziveza kancane kancane kulokhu kwesaba, kuzoba namandla amancane nangaphansi kwemizwa yakho.

6. Khumbula njalo ukuzinakekela

Ukuzinakekela kubalulekile kuwo wonke umuntu, kepha ikakhulukazi kubantu abanokukhathazeka.

Khumbula ukuba nomusa kuwe futhi wazi imingcele yakho, futhi uzame ukungazishukumisi udlule lapho uqhekeke khona. Lala ngokwanele futhi udle ukudla okuvamile, okunempilo.

Zama ukuhamba kalula otshwaleni. Kwesinye isikhathi kujwayelekile ukuthi abantu bathembele otshwaleni ezimweni zomphakathi njengendlela yokuxegisa, kodwa ekugcineni lokhu empeleni kubhebhethekisa ukukhathazeka.

• Zama indlela eyodwa kuya kweyodwa yokushintshanisa isiphuzo esidakayo kanye nengilazi yamanzi.
• Dala i-mocktail owaziyo ukuthi uyayithanda. Faka ukunambitheka emanzini akhanyayo ngama-bitters, izingcezu zikalamula, noma i-splash yejusi.

Wonke umuntu ulwa nokuthile empilweni. Uma uhlala isigamu sephathi kuphela, lokho kusengukuwina njengoba uqhubeka nokusebenza ngokukhathazeka kwakho.

Lapho unomusa kuwe, kulapho umema khona nabanye ukuthi nabo benze okufanayo.

UMeagan Drillinger ungumbhali wezokuvakasha nempilo Ukugxila kwakhe ekusebenziseni kakhulu uhambo lokuhlangenwe nakho ngenkathi egcina impilo enempilo. Ukubhala kwakhe kuvele kwiThrillist, Men's Health, Travel Weekly, naseTime Out New York, phakathi kwezinye. Mvakashele ibhulogi noma Instagram.