Ngazala ngineminyaka yobudala engama-30 nengu-40. Nanku Umehluko

-Delile

• Iminyaka eminingi ngemuva kwakho akusho njalo ukuthi kunezinkinga eziningi ezizayo

Kubonakala sengathi umhlaba wonke ubungitshela ukuthi kuzoba nzima kangakanani. Kepha ngezindlela eziningi, kube lula.

Angikaze ngibe nama-hangout mayelana nokuguga, futhi angibanga yikho konke ebengikhathazeke ngakho ngeminyaka yami njenganoma yini enye kunenani leminyaka ebenginayo emhlabeni, ngaze ngaqala ukuzama ukukhulelwa ngineminyaka engama-38. Konke ngokuzumayo, ngangisemthethweni okudala. Noma okungenani, amaqanda ami ayenjalo.

Ngangibhekene neqiniso lebhayoloji ngangingakwazi ukulawula: Njengoba abesifazane bekhula, amaqanda ngokwemvelo ancipha ngenani nasekhwalithi. Ngokusho kwe-American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, inzalo iqala ukwehla kakhulu eminyakeni yobudala engama-32, bese ithatha enye i-plummet ezungeze iminyaka engama-37.

Sazama cishe izinyanga eziyisithupha, sabe sesiqala ukuhlolwa kokuzala futhi ngathola ukuthi ngine- “reserve ovarian low for my age” Ngakho-ke angigcinanga ngokuba namaqanda ambalwa ngenxa yokuthi bengineminyaka engama-40, benginamaqanda ambalwa kakhulu kunalokho obekulindelekile kimi ngineminyaka engama-40. Ezinyangeni ezimbalwa ezalandela, saba nokuhlolwa okwengeziwe, saqala ukucabangisisa nge-IVF, futhi ngabuza udokotela wami, "Yini enye engingayenza?"

"Zama ukungakhathazeki," esho. "Beka leya notebook yemibuzo, yeka ukubamba ngekhanda izibalo, uthathe ikhefu kuDkt. Google."

Nami ngenza njalo. Futhi sakhulelwa - ngaphandle kwe-IVF noma enye into. Kuthathe izinyanga eziyi-12 ukuchama ezinduku ze-ovulation nokuba nobulili obuningi obunesikhathi, kepha kwenzeka.

Kuthathe nje, kahle, izinyanga eziyi-12 ubude kunalokho okwakwenzeka lapho ngangineminyaka engama-29 nengama-31.

Iminyaka eminingi ngemuva kwakho akusho njalo ukuthi kunezinkinga eziningi ezizayo

Ngaphandle kokulinda isikhathi eside kakhulu ukubona imigqa emibili eluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka esivivinyweni sokukhulelwa, ngingasho ngobuqotho ukuthi ukukhulelwa kwami ​​okungu-40-plus kwakungahlukile kunokwangaphambili. Ngangingowesifazane ngokusemthethweni we-AMA (iminyaka yobudala yomama osezingeni eliphakeme) - okungenani abasasebenzisi igama elithi "umama oswelekile" - kepha angizange ngiphathwe ngendlela ehlukile ngababelethisi ababenginakekela.

Inkinga yami kuphela yezempilo kwakuwukucindezeleka, okwakuyinkinga ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa kwami ​​kokugcina futhi futhi ngokuqinisekile akuhlobene nobudala. Eqinisweni, ngicabanga ukuthi impilo yami yengqondo yayingcono ngesikhathi sokukhulelwa kwami ​​kwakamuva. Ngineminyaka eminingi yokuhlangenwe nakho (kokubili okuhle nokubi kwempilo yengqondo), futhi ngivuleleke kakhulu ngokugula kwami ​​kunangesikhathi esedlule. Angimancane kakhulu amathuba okuthi ngibeke ubuso obunesibindi noma ngigqibe ikhanda lami esihlabathini.

Ngaphandle kwempilo yami yengqondo, ngisesimweni esingcono nangezinye izindlela, futhi. Lapho ngikhulelwa ngineminyaka engama-29, ngangiyintombazane yephathi eyayiphuza kakhulu futhi ngasinda lapho ngithatha futhi ngilungiselela ukudla okulungile. Ngenkathi ngikhulelwa ngineminyaka engama-31, ngangiyintombazane ephathini ebambe amatoho futhi ngangidla kakhulu imishanguzo, kodwa nganginengane encane enamandla engangiyinakekela.

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, lapho ngakhulelwa ngineminyaka engama-39, ngangiwumthengisi wamateku, ngangidla zonke izinto ezifanele, ngivivinya umzimba njalo, futhi nginezingane ezifunda isikole, okusho ukuthi ngangingathola lezo zikhathi eziyigugu zokukhulelwa emini.

Ubudala kuyakwenza kunendaba uma kuziwa ekutholeni umntwana. Ngaphandle kokuthatha isikhathi eside, ngokwesilinganiso, ukukhulelwa kwasekuqaleni, omama asebekhulile maningi amathuba okuthi babe no, noma futhi kukhona kubo bobabili umama nengane.

Ukuzwa nokufunda zonke lezo zinto kungenza lokho osekuvele kunakho konke ukuba nakho kube yinto ecindezelayo kakhulu ngisho nangokwengeziwe. Kodwa ngiwubufakazi bokuthi ukuba nengane eneminyaka engama-40 empeleni akuhlukile kangako kunokukwenza uneminyaka engama-30.

Ukuzalwa kwami ​​kokuqala kwakuwukubeletha kwesitho sangasese sowesifazane, kodwa owesibili nowesithathu kwakuhleliwe ngezigaba ezingama-C iminyaka eyi-8, ngakho-ke ngingaqhathanisa amanothi ngazo. Ngaba nenhlanhla: Kokubili okutholwayo bekuyincwadi yokufunda. Kepha futhi, akukho obekunzima noma okuthathe isikhathi eside ngokwesibili ukuzungeza, ngoba nje bengineminyaka eminingana kulesikhashana.

Indodakazi yami encane manje inezinyanga eziyi-11. Ungumsebenzi onzima. Kepha zonke izingane zi - noma ngabe uneminyaka engama-25, 35, noma engama-45. Ngizozizwa ngimdala kunabomama abaneminyaka engama-25 ubudala emasangweni esikole lapho ngimyeka ngosuku lwakhe lokuqala? Impela ngizokwenza, ngoba ngizoba njalo. Ngizoba neminyaka engama-45. Kodwa ngeke ngikubone njengento engeyinhle.

Uma singakunaki lokho imithombo yezindaba esitshela khona ngokuguga - nabesifazane abaneminyaka yobudala, ikakhulukazi - konke kumane kungumdlalo wezinombolo. Njengowesifazane, nanjengomama, ngidlula kakhulu usuku lwesitifiketi sami sokuzalwa.

Kimina, umehluko omkhulu phakathi kokubeletha eneminyaka engama-30 nokubeletha uneminyaka engama-40 wawulungile. Eminyakeni engama-30, ngangisenendaba kakhulu nokuthi abanye abantu - nomphakathi wonkana - bacabangani ngami. Eminyakeni engama-40, ngangingakwazi ngempela ukunikela.

Konke ukukhulelwa kwami ​​bobathathu kwakuyizibusiso ezinkulu, kodwa owami wesithathu nangaphezulu ngoba ngangazi ukuthi isikhathi sasingesohlangothini lwami, ngokuya nge-biology. Lapho ngikhulelwa ekugcineni, ngangisamukela sonke isikhathi. Futhi ngihlose ngokuphelele ukwamukela zonke izikhathi ezisazoza, ngaphandle kokuchitha umzuzwana kubo ngikhathazeka ngeminyaka yami.

UClaire Gillespie ungumbhali ozimele onama-byline ku-Health, SELF, Refinery29, Glamour, The Washington Post, nokunye okuningi. Uhlala eScotland nomyeni wakhe nezingane eziyisithupha, lapho asebenzisa khona konke (okungajwayelekile) isikhathi esisele sokusebenzela inoveli yakhe. Mlandele lapha.