Into Engcono Kakhulu Ongifundiswe Ubaba Wayengaphila Kanjani Ngaphandle Kwakhe

-Delile

• Ngaphezu komhlinzeki
• Thayipha isifo sikashukela sesi-2
• Amaviki okugcina
• "Ungubaba wami"

Ubaba wami wayenobuntu obukhulu. Wayenothando futhi enempilo, ekhuluma ngezandla, futhi ehleka ngomzimba wakhe wonke. Kwakunzima nokuhlala phansi. Kwakunguye lowo mfana owangena egumbini futhi wonke umuntu wayazi ukuthi ukhona. Wayenomusa futhi enakekela, kepha kaningi futhi wayengalawulwa. Wayekhuluma nanoma ngubani nawo wonke umuntu, abashiye bemamatheka… noma bemangele.

Lapho eseyingane, wagcwalisa ikhaya lethu ngokuhleka ngezikhathi ezimnandi nezimbi. Wayekhuluma ngamaphimbo amabi etafuleni lokudla nakwezokugibela izimoto. Waze washiya imilayezo eyinqaba nokuhlekisayo kuvoyisimeyili yami yomsebenzi lapho ngithola umsebenzi wami wokuqala wokuhlela. Ngifisa sengathi ngingabalalela manje.

Wayengumyeni oqotho futhi ozinikele kumama. Wayengubaba onothando ngendlela emangalisayo kumfowethu, kudadewethu nakimi. Uthando lwakhe ngezemidlalo lwasithinta sonke, futhi lwasiza ukusixhumanisa ngendlela ejulile. Singakhuluma ngezemidlalo amahora amaningi - amasu, amasu, abaqeqeshi, ama-refs nakho konke okuphakathi. Lokhu nakanjani kwaholela ezingxoxweni mayelana nesikole, umculo, ezombusazwe, inkolo, imali namasoka. Siphonsele inselelo ngemibono yethu ehlukile. Lezi zingxoxo zazivame ukuphela lapho othile ememeza. Wayekwazi ukucindezela izinkinobho zami, futhi ngasheshe ngafunda ukuphusha ezakhe.

Ngaphezu komhlinzeki

Ubaba wami wayengenazo iziqu zasekolishi. Wayengumthengisi (ethengisa ama-accounting peg board systems, manje angasasebenzi) owanikeza umndeni wami indlela yokuphila esezingeni eliphakathi ngokuphelele kukhomishini. Lokhu kusangimangaza nanamuhla.

Umsebenzi wakhe wawumvumela ukunethezeka kwesheduli eguquguqukayo, okusho ukuthi wayengaba khona lapho kuphuma isikole futhi enze yonke imisebenzi yethu. Imoto yethu igibela kumidlalo ye-softball neye-basketball manje izinkumbulo eziyigugu: mina nobaba wami nje, sijula ​​ezingxoxweni noma sicula kanye nomculo wakhe. Nginesiqiniseko sokuthi mina nodadewethu kwakunguthina kuphela amantombazane aseminyakeni yama-90s ababazi yonke ingoma yeRolling Stones kuthebhu yabo enkulu yamahithi. "Awukwazi Njalo Ukuthola Okufunayo" kusangifikela njalo uma ngikuzwa.

Into enhle kakhulu yena nomama abangifundise yona ukwazisa impilo nokubonga abantu abakuyo. Umuzwa wabo wokubonga - ngokuphila, nothando - waqanjwa kithi ekuqaleni. Ubaba kwesinye isikhathi wayekhuluma ngokubuthelwa empini yeVietnam lapho eseminyakeni yama-20s, futhi kwadingeka ashiye intombi yakhe (umama wami) ngemuva. Wayengakaze acabange ukuthi uzowenza uphile ekhaya. Wazizwa enenhlanhla yokumiswa eJapan esebenza njengochwepheshe bezokwelapha, yize umsebenzi wakhe wawuhlanganisa ukuthatha umlando wezokwelapha wamasosha alimele nokuhlonza labo ababulewe empini.

Bengingaqondi ukuthi lokhu kumthinte kangakanani kuze kube amasonto ambalwa okugcina empilo yakhe.

Abazali bami baqhubeka bashada ngemuva nje kokuba ubaba eqedile ukusebenza isikhathi sakhe ebusosheni. Cishe iminyaka eyishumi beshadile, bakhunjuzwa futhi ukuthi sasiyigugu kangakanani isikhathi sabo ndawonye lapho umama ethola ukuthi unomdlavuza webele wesigaba 3 eneminyaka engama-35. Njengoba unezingane ezintathu ezineminyaka engaphansi kwengu-9, lokhu kuzinyakazise kakhulu. Ngemuva kokucasulwa kabili nokuthola ukwelashwa, umama wami waphila eminye iminyaka engama-26.

Thayipha isifo sikashukela sesi-2

Eminyakeni ethile kamuva, lapho umama eneminyaka engu-61, umdlavuza wakhe wagcwala, futhi washona. Lokhu kwaphula inhliziyo kababa wami. Wayecabanga ukuthi uzofa ngaphambi kwakhe ngenxa yesifo sikashukela sohlobo lwe-2, ayesekhule phakathi kweminyaka engamashumi amane.

Eminyakeni engama-23 ngemuva kokuxilongwa kwesifo sikashukela, ubaba wami wasiphatha lesi sifo ngemithi nange-insulin, kepha wayekugwema kakhulu ukushintsha indlela adla ngayo. Wabuye waba nomfutho wegazi ophezulu, okuvame ukuba umphumela wesifo sikashukela esingalawulwa. Isifo sikashukela kancane kancane salimaza umzimba wakhe, okwaholela ekutheni isifo sikashukela sibe neuropathy (esidala ukulimala kwemizwa) kanye ne-retinopathy yesifo sikashukela (esidala ukungaboni). Eminyakeni eyi-10 engenile kulesi sifo, izinso zakhe zaqala ukwehluleka.

Ngemuva konyaka ngilahlekelwe ngumama, waphinde wadlula kane, wasinda eminye iminyaka emithathu. Ngaleso sikhathi, wayechitha amahora amane ngosuku ethola i-dialysis, ukwelashwa okudingekayo ukuze aphile lapho izinso zakho zingasasebenzi.

Iminyaka embalwa edlule yokuphila kukababa wami kwakunzima ukuyifakaza. Okudabukisa kakhulu ukubukela ezinye ze-pizzazz namandla akhe. Ngisukile ekuzameni ukuhamba naye ngejubane ngihamba ngezindawo zokupaka ngimphusha ngesihlalo sabakhubazekile nganoma yikuphi ukuphuma okudingayo ngaphezu kwezinyathelo ezimbalwa.

Isikhathi eside, ngazibuza ukuthi ngabe konke esikwaziyo namuhla mayelana nokuguqulwa kwesifo sikashukela kwaziwa lapho etholakala ngeminyaka yama-80s, ngabe wayezozinakekela kangcono? Ingabe wayezophila isikhathi eside? Cishe cha. Mina nezingane zakwethu sazama kanzima ukwenza ubaba ashintshe indlela adla ngayo nokuvivinya umzimba ngokwengeziwe, kodwa kwaba nhlanga zimuka nomoya. Ngokubheka emuva, bekuyinto elahlekile. Wayephile impilo yakhe yonke - neminyaka eminingi enesifo sikashukela - ngaphandle kokwenza izinguquko, pho kungani aqala ngokuzumayo?

Amaviki okugcina

Amaviki ambalwa okugcina empilo yakhe enza leli qiniso ngaye lakhanya langicacela. Ukwelashwa ngesifo sikashukela ezinyaweni zakhe kwakudale umonakalo omkhulu kangangokuba unyawo lwangakwesobunxele lwadinga ukunqunywa. Ngiyakhumbula ukuthi wangibuka futhi wathi, “Akunjalo, Cath. Ungabavumeli bakwenze. Ithuba lokululama elingamaphesenti ayi-12 yinqwaba ye-B.S. ”

Kepha uma senqaba ukuhlinzwa, ubezoba sezinhlungwini eziningi kakhulu ezinsukwini ezisele zokuphila kwakhe. Asikwazanga ukukuvumela lokho. Kodwa-ke ngisahlushwa iqiniso lokuthi ulahlekelwe unyawo kuphela ukuze aphile amasonto ambalwa.

Ngaphambi kokuba ahlinzwe, waphendukela kimi wathi, “Uma ngingaphumi lapha, ungayijulisi ingane. Uyazi, kuyingxenye yempilo. Ukuphila kuyaqhubeka."

Bengifuna ukumemeza, "Yisigejane se-B.S."

Ngemuva kokunqunywa, ubaba wachitha isonto esibhedlela elulama, kepha akazange athuthuke ngokwanele ukuthi angabuyiselwa ekhaya. Uhanjiswe esikhungweni sokunakekelwa okuphathekayo. Izinsuku zakhe lapho zazinzima. Ugcine eba nesilonda esibi emhlane esangenwa yi-MRSA. Futhi yize isimo sakhe siba sibi, uqhubeke nokuthola i-dialysis izinsuku ezimbalwa.

Ngalesi sikhathi, wayevame ukukhulisa "abafana abahluphekayo abaphulukana nemilenze futhi bahlala e-'nam." Wayekhuluma nangendlela ayenenhlanhla ngayo ukuhlangana nomama wami nokuthi "wayengasakwazi kanjani ukulinda ukumbona futhi." Kwesinye isikhathi, umhlabeleli wakhe wayevele acwebezele, futhi angenze ngihleke phansi njengakho konke kuhamba kahle.

"Ungubaba wami"

Ezinsukwini ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokushona kukababa, odokotela bakhe bangeluleka ngokuthi ukumisa i-dialysis “yinto yomuntu enobuntu.” Noma ukwenza lokho kungasho ukuphela kwempilo yakhe, savuma. Kanjalo nobaba wami. Ngokwazi ukuthi usezokufa, mina nezingane zakwethu sazama kanzima ukusho izinto ezifanele nokuqinisekisa ukuthi abasebenzi bezokwelapha benza konke okusemandleni ukumgcina ekhululekile.

“Singaphinde simhambise embhedeni? Ungakwazi ukumlethela amanzi amaningi? Singamnikeza umuthi wezinhlungu owengeziwe? ” sasibuza. Ngikhumbula umsizi kamhlengikazi engimisa ephaseji elingaphandle kwegumbi likababa wami ethi, "Ngiyakutshela umthande kakhulu."

“Yebo. Ungubaba wami. "

Kepha impendulo yakhe ihlale kimi kusukela lapho. “Ngiyazi ukuthi ungubaba wakho. Kodwa ngiyabona ukuthi ungumuntu okhetheke kakhulu kuwe. ” Ngaqala ukubhonga.

Ngangingazi ngempela ukuthi ngizoqhubeka kanjani ngaphandle kukababa. Ngandlela thile, ukushona kwakhe kubuyise ubuhlungu bokulahlekelwa ngumama, futhi kwangiphoqa ukuthi ngibhekane nokwazi ukuthi bobabili bahambile, ukuthi akekho kubo owayekwedlulile eminyakeni engama-60. Akekho kubo obezokwazi ukungiqondisa kubuzali. Akekho kubo owake wazi ngempela izingane zami.

Kepha ubaba wami, ngokweqiniso lemvelo yakhe, waveza umbono othile.

Ezinsukwini ezimbalwa ngaphambi kokuba ashone, ngangilokhu ngimbuza ukuthi kukhona yini akudingayo nokuthi uyaphila yini. Ungiphazamise, wathi, “Lalela. Wena, udadewenu nomfowenu nizophila, angithi? ”

Wawuphinda lo mbuzo amahlandla ambalwa ngokubukeka kokukhungatheka ebusweni bakhe. Ngaleso sikhathi, ngabona ukuthi ukungakhululeki nokubhekana nokufa kwakungekhona ukukhathazeka kwakhe. Obekumethusa kakhulu ukushiya izingane zakhe - yize besingabantu abadala - zingenabazali abazinakekelayo.

Ngokuphazima kweso, ngaqonda ukuthi into ayeyidinga kakhulu kwakungekona ukuthi ngenze isiqiniseko sokuthi ukhululekile, kodwa kwakuwukuthi ngimqinisekise ukuthi sizoqhubeka siphile njengenjwayelo ngemuva kokuhamba kwakhe. Ukuthi besingeke sikuvumele ukufa kwakhe kusivimbele ekubeni siphile impilo yethu ngokugcwele. Ukuthi, yize kunezinselelo zokuphila, noma ngabe yimpi noma izifo noma ukulahleka, besizolandela ukuhola kwakhe nomama wethu bese siqhubeka nokunakekela izingane zethu ngokwazi kwethu. Ukuthi singajabula ngempilo nothando. Ukuthi sizothola ukuhlekisa kuzo zonke izimo, ngisho nezimnyama kakhulu. Ukuthi sizolwa nayo yonke i-B.S. ndawonye.

Yilapho-ke lapho nginqume ukulahla khona "Uyaphila?" ukukhuluma, futhi waqunga isibindi wathi, “Yebo, Baba. Sizohamba kahle sonke. ”

Ngenkathi ukubukeka okunokuthula kuthatha ubuso bakhe, ngaqhubeka, “Usifundisile ukuthi singaba kanjani. Kulungile ukudedela manje. ”

UCathy Cassata ungumbhali ozimele obhala ngempilo, impilo yengqondo, nokuziphatha kwabantu ngezinhlobonhlobo zokushicilelwa namawebhusayithi. Ungumnikeli ojwayelekile ku-Healthline, Health Daily, naku-The Fix. Buka iphothifoliyo yakhe yezindaba bese umlandela ku-Twitter ku- @ Cassatastyle.