Uthando Lokuqhuma Amabhomu: Izimpawu eziyi-10 Zothando Oluphezulu

-Delile

• Banipha kakhulu ngezipho
• Abakwazi ukuyeka ukukuncoma
• Bakuhlasela ngezingcingo nangemibhalo
• Bafuna ukunakwa kwakho okuhlukanisiwe
• Bazama ukukukholisa ukuthi ungumphefumulo womphefumulo
• Bafuna ukuzibophezela futhi bayakufuna manje
• Bayacasuka uma ubeka imingcele
• Baswele ngokweqile
• Ukhungathekile ngamandla abo
• Uzizwa ungalingani
• Okubalulekile

Uma uqala ukuhlangana nomuntu, ukususwa ezinyaweni zakho kungazizwa kumnandi futhi kujabulisa. Ukuba nomuntu okugeza ngothando nokumncoma kujabulisa ikakhulukazi lapho usezigabeni zokuqala zobudlelwano obusha.

Uthando lwamabhomu, noma kunjalo, kungenye indaba. Kwenzeka lapho othile ekucindezela ngamagama othando, izenzo, nokuziphatha njengenqubo yokukhohlisa.

"Kuvame ukusetshenziselwa ukuzuza ukwethenjwa kwakho nothando lwakho ukuze bakwazi ukufeza umgomo wabo," kuchaza uShirin Peykar, MA, umshado onelayisense nomelaphi womndeni.

Nakhu ukubheka ezinye zezimpawu zakudala zokuqhuma kwamabhomu. Uma ubona okunye kwalokhu, akusho ukuthi umlingani wakho unobuthi, kepha lalela umuzwa wakho uma umuntu ozama ukukuheha abonakala emuhle kakhulu ukuthi angaba yiqiniso.

Banipha kakhulu ngezipho

Uthando lokuqhuma amabhomu kuvame ukufaka ukuthinta okungaphezulu, njengokukuthumelela izipho ezingafanele emsebenzini wakho (izimbali eziningi esikhundleni esisodwa, isibonelo) noma ukuthenga amathikithi endiza abizayo eholidini, futhi ungathathi u- “cha” ukuthola impendulo.

Konke lokhu kungabonakala kungenabungozi ngokwanele, kepha iphuzu ukukhohlisa ukuthi ucabange ukuthi ubakweleta okuthile.

“Esikhathini esiningi, uthando lokuqhunyiswa kwamabhomu kwenziwa ngumuntu osebenzisa izigebengu ngenhloso yokungena futhi athole amandla phezu kwalowo othandwa ibhomu lothando,” kusho umeluleki onguchwepheshe onelayisense uThabitha Westbrook, uLMFT.

Abakwazi ukuyeka ukukuncoma

Sonke sifisa ukunconywa, kepha ukudunyiswa njalo kungenza ikhanda lakho ligijime. Uma othile ezwakalisa uthando lwakhe olungafi ngemuva kwesikhathi esincane nje, kuyifulegi elibomvu elingaba khona lokuthi imizwa yabo ayilona iqiniso.

Eminye imishwana ejwayelekile, ngaphezulu kwezingaphezulu abangayisebenzisa ifaka phakathi:

• "Ngithanda konke ngawe."
• "Angikaze ngihlangane nomuntu ophelele njengawe."
• "Nguwe kuphela umuntu engifuna ukuchitha isikhathi naye."

Ngokwazo, le mishwana ayiyona ingozi, kodwa kubalulekile ukuyicabangela kumongo omkhulu wokuziphatha kothile.

Bakuhlasela ngezingcingo nangemibhalo

Bayakushayela, bakuthumele imiyalezo, futhi bakuthumele umlayezo ngokuxhumana nomphakathi 24/7. Ngenkathi ukuxhumana njalo kungokwemvelo lapho niqala ukuthandana, kuyifulegi elibomvu uma ukuxhumana kuthinta uhlangothi olulodwa futhi kuya kuba nzima.

Qaphela uma beqala ukukuthumelela imiyalezo ekuseni kakhulu nangehora ngalinye ehoreni.

Bafuna ukunakwa kwakho okuhlukanisiwe

Lapho ukugxila kwakho kungakabi komunye umuntu, bangahle bathukuthele. Lokhu kungabonakala njengokufutheka lapho usocingweni nabangane noma unqaba ukuhamba ngemuva kokusho ukuthi kufanele ube semsebenzini ekuseni ngakusasa.

"Uthando lweqiniso alufuni sonke isikhathi namandla akho kugxile kubo bodwa," kugcizelela uWestbrook. "Bahlonipha ezinye izibopho, imibono kanye nemingcele."

Bazama ukukukholisa ukuthi ungumphefumulo womphefumulo

Ukukutshela ukuthi baphuphe ukuthi uNkulunkulu ubatshele ukuthi nobabili kufanele nishade kuyindlela yokukhohlisa. Uma lokho abakushoyo kuzwakala ngaphandle kwefilimu, qaphela, Westbrook amanothi. "IHollywood ilungele ukuzijabulisa, kodwa uthando lweqiniso nobudlelwano akubukeki njengamabhayisikobho."

Ezinye izinto abangazisho:

• "Sizalelwe ukuba ndawonye."
• "Yinhlanhla yokuthi sihlangane."
• “Ungiqonda ukudlula noma ngubani.”
• "Singabantu bomphefumulo."

Bafuna ukuzibophezela futhi bayakufuna manje

Ibhomu lothando lingakucindezela ezintweni eziphuthumisayo futhi wenze izinhlelo ezinkulu ngekusasa. Bazokhuluma ngezinto ezifana nomshado noma ukuhamba ndawonye lapho benizokwazana isikhashana nje.

Into okufanele uyikhumbule, ngokusho kukaWestbrook, ukuthi ubudlelwano bangempela buthatha isikhathi ukuthuthuka. “Mancane kakhulu amathuba okuthi lo muntu angakuthanda ngokweqile kunanoma yini emhlabeni emasontweni amabili. Noma izinsuku ezimbili. Noma amahora amabili. Noma izinyanga ezimbili, ”kuchaza yena.

Bayacasuka uma ubeka imingcele

Uma uzama ukubatshela ukuthi behlise ijubane, bazoqhubeka nokuzama ukukukhohlisa ukuze uthole abakufunayo. Umuntu onakekela ngokusemthethweni, ngakolunye uhlangothi, uzohlonipha izifiso zakho bese ehlehla.

“Ababhomba amabhomu othando nabo bayacasuka nganoma imiphi imingcele maqondana nokufinyelela kuwe noma wamukela ukukhonjiswa kwabo‘ kothando, ’kusho uWestbrook. "Kufana ne-tsunami yothando futhi balindele ukuthi uyamukele yonke."

Baswele ngokweqile

Akunandaba ukuthi ubanikeza isikhathi esingakanani nokufinyelela, akukaze kubonakale kwanele. Kodwa zibuze: Ingabe ubheyili kubangani ngoba abakwazi ukuma bodwa? Noma uzizwa ubophezelekile ukuphendula yonke imibhalo ngoba bakunikeze leyo iPhone ebizayo?

Othile onobuthi uzokwenza uzizwe ubakweleta ukuze bakwazi ukuthembela kuwe imini nobusuku.

Ukhungathekile ngamandla abo

Abalokothi benqabe intelezi futhi babonakala begijima kuwo wonke amasilinda uma unabo. Awusoze wazi ukuthi yini ongayilindela kusuka kumzuzu owodwa uye komunye futhi uzizwe ucindezelekile ukuthi uwabone ubusuku nemini.

Uthando olusemthethweni lunezikhathi zalo nezimbi zalo, kodwa luyahlonipha futhi aluzikhukhumezi, kusho uWestbrook. Iyabekezela, inomusa futhi imnene. ”

Uzizwa ungalingani

Ukuba yibhomu lothando kungazizwa ukudakwa ekuqaleni, kepha futhi ungazizwa ungakhululekile, ulinde esinye isicathulo ukuthi sehle.

Nakani le mizwa yokukhathazeka, kusho uWestbrook. "Kubalulekile ukujwayela umuzwa wakho, ukuze waziswe esikhundleni sokuqhutshwa ngamasu wokuqhuma amabhomu."

Okubalulekile

Uma usezigabeni zokuqala zobudlelwano futhi yonke into izwa sengathi yenzeka ngokushesha okukhulu, ngena emathunjini akho. Khumbula: Ukuwela othandweni kufanele kulondolozwe, hhayi ukujaha.

Uma ukhathazekile umaqondana wakho ewele endaweni ekhohlisayo, zama ukufinyelela kumngane othembekile, ilunga lomndeni, noma umelaphi wezempilo yengqondo ongakusiza ukuthi uhlole indlela abaziphatha ngayo.

Ungahlola nezinsizakusebenza ezingezansi ukuthola ukuholwa okwengeziwe kuzinyathelo ezilandelayo:

• I-Love is Respect iyinombolo yosizo kazwelonke yokuhlukumeza ukuphola enikezela ukwesekwa futhi inikeze imininingwane ngobudlelwano obungenampilo nokuziphatha.
• Uthando Olunye luyisisekelo esisiza ukumisa ukuhlukunyezwa kobuhlobo.

UCindy Lamothe yintatheli ezimele ezinze eGuatemala. Ubhala kaningi ngemiphambanandlela phakathi kwezempilo, inhlalakahle, nesayensi yokuziphatha komuntu. Ubhalelwe i-The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, nezinye eziningi. Mthole ku- utbindani.com.