I-Low Libido Kwabesifazane: Yini Ebulala Idrayivu Yakho Yezocansi?
-Delile
- Umqedazwe Okhulayo, Wokuthula
- Inkinga Enkulu
- Impikiswano Enkulu Yokwelapha
- Ukukhipha iLibido Ephansi Egumbini Lokulala
- Buyekeza kwe-
Impilo engemva kwengane yayingeyona into uKatherine Campbell ayeyicabanga. Yebo, indodana yakhe esanda kuzalwa yayinempilo, ijabule futhi inhle; yebo, ukubona umyeni wakhe emthanda kwayincibilikisa inhliziyo yakhe. Kepha kukhona okuzwile… kuvaliwe. Empeleni, yena ngazizwa ngingekho. Eminyakeni engama-27, ukushayela ucansi kukaCampbell kwase kuphelile.
"Kwakungathi inkinobho icishiwe ekhanda lami," echaza. "Ngangifuna ucansi ngolunye usuku, emva kwalokho kwakungekho lutho. Ngangingafuni ucansi. Angizange cabanga ngezocansi "
Waqale wazitshela ukuthi lesi senzo sokunyamalala sijwayelekile. Ngemuva kwezinyanga ezimbalwa waphendukela ku-Intanethi ukuthola izimpendulo. "Abesifazane online babesho izinto ezinjengokuthi, 'Yiba nesineke, usanda kuba nengane entsha, unengcindezi… Umzimba wakho udinga isikhathi, unike izinyanga eziyisithupha.' Hhayi-ke, izinyanga eziyisithupha zafika zadlula, futhi akukho okushintshile, "kukhumbula uCampbell. "Bese kufika unyaka wedlula, futhi akukho okushintshile." Ngenkathi yena nomyeni wakhe besalokhu beya ocansini ngezikhathi ezithile, ngokokuqala ngqa empilweni kaCampbell, kwaba sengathi uqhubeka nje. “Futhi kwakungelona ubulili kuphela,” usho kanje. "Bengingafuni ukudlala ngothando, ukwenza amahlaya, ngenze izinkulumo zocansi - ukuthi yonke ingxenye yempilo yami ibisukile." Ngabe lokhu kusesejwayelekile? ezibuza.
Umqedazwe Okhulayo, Wokuthula
Ngandlela-thile, okuhlangenwe nakho kukaCampbell kwakujwayelekile. "I-libido ephansi idlange kakhulu kubantu besifazane," kuqinisekisa uJan Leslie Shifren, M.D., ongudokotela wezinto eziphathelene nokuzala e-Mass General Hospital eBoston, MA. "Uma ubuza abantu besifazane nje, 'Heyi, anikuthakaseli kangako ukwenza ucansi?' kalula amaphesenti angu-40 azothi yebo."
Kodwa ukungabi nentshisekelo yocansi kukodwa akuyona inkinga. Ngenkathi abanye besifazane bengafuni nje ucansi kaningi, i-libido ephansi imvamisa iba yimiphumela emibi yesikhashana yokucindezela kwangaphandle, njengengane entsha noma izinkinga zezezimali. (Noma le Into Emangazayo Engabulala I-Sex Drive Yakho.) Ukuze kutholakale ukuthi unenkinga yocansi yabesifazane, noma lokho ngezinye izikhathi okubizwa ngokuthi i-sexual interest/arousal disorder (SIAD), abesifazane kudingeka babe ne-libido ephansi okungenani izinyanga eziyisithupha futhi bazizwe. ecindezelekile ngakho, njengoCampbell. UShifren uthi amaphesenti ayi-12 abesifazane ahlangabezana nale ncazelo.
Futhi asikhulumi ngabesifazane be-postmenopausal. NjengoCampbell, laba ngabesifazane abaseminyakeni yama-20s, 30s, kanye nama-40s, abanempilo, abajabule, futhi abaphethe yonke indawo yezimpilo zabo-ngaphandle, ngokuzumayo, igumbi lokulala.
Inkinga Enkulu
Ngeshwa, ukungasebenzi ngokocansi akuhlali kuqukethe ikamelo lokulala isikhathi eside. Amaphesenti angu-70 abesifazane abanesifiso esiphansi bahlangabezana nobunzima bomuntu siqu nobomuntu siqu ngenxa yalokho, bathola ucwaningo ku Ijenali Yesifiso Sezocansi. Babika imiphumela engemihle esithombeni somzimba wabo, ukuzethemba kwabo, nokuxhumana kwabo nomlingani wabo.
Njengoba uCampbell akubeka, "Kushiya isikhala esivumela kwezinye izindawo." Akazange ayeke ngokuphelele ukuya ocansini nomyeni wakhe—lo mbhangqwana waze wakhulelwa indodana yawo yesibili—kodwa ekugcineni, “kwakuyinto engiyenze ngenxa yesibopho.” Ngenxa yalokho, lo mbhangqwana waqala ukulwa kakhulu, futhi wayekhathazekile ngomphumela owawunawo ezinganeni zabo. (Ingabe Abesifazane Bahloselwe Ukushada?)
Okukhathaza kakhulu umthelela obe nawo empilweni yakhe: umculo. "Ngiyadla, ngilale, futhi ngiphefumule umculo. Kwakuhlale kuyingxenye enkulu yokuphila kwami futhi okwesikhashana, umsebenzi wami wesikhathi esigcwele, "kuchaza uCampbell, owayengumculi oholayo weqembu le-country-rock ngaphambi kokuba ngumama. "Kodwa ngenkathi ngizama ukubuyela emculweni ngemuva kokuthola amadodana ami, ngazithola sengingenandaba."
Impikiswano Enkulu Yokwelapha
Manje siyini isixazululo? Kusukela manje, akukho ukulungiswa okulula-ikakhulu ngoba izimbangela zokungasebenzi kahle kwabesifazane ngokocansi kunzima ukuzikhomba futhi zivame ukwenziwa izinto eziningi, ezibandakanya izinto okunzima ukuzihlola, njengokungalingani kwe-neurotransmitter kanye nengcindezi. (Bheka lezi 5 Common Libido-Crushers Okufanele Uzigweme.) Ngakho-ke nakuba amadoda ane-erectile dysfunction noma ejaculation ngaphambi kwesikhathi, izinhlobo ezimbili ezivamile zokungasebenzi kahle kocansi kwabesilisa, zingakhipha iphilisi noma zigcobe ukhilimu, izinketho zokwelashwa zabesifazane zihlanganisa izinto ezifana nokwelapha, ukucabangela. ukuqeqeshwa, kanye nokuxhumana, konke lokhu kuthatha isikhathi, amandla, nokubekezela. (Njengalezi 6 Libido Boosters Ezisebenzayo.)
Futhi abesifazane abaningi abajabuli nganoma iyiphi yalezi zinketho. UCampbell, ngokwesibonelo, uhlikihla amakhambi azame njengohlu lokuyothenga: ukuzivocavoca umzimba, ukwehlisa isisindo somzimba, ukudla ukudla okunomsoco nokuncane okwenziwe kancane, ngisho ne-anti-depressant enqunywe ngudokotela wakhe-konke akusizi ngalutho.
Yena nabanye besifazane abaningi bakholelwa ukuthi ithemba langempela lisephilisi elibizwa ngokuthi i-flibanserin, elivame ukubizwa ngokuthi "i-Viagra yesifazane." Umuthi usebenza kuma-serotonin receptors ukukhulisa isifiso; esifundweni esisodwa ku Ijenali Yezokwelapha, abesifazane babe nemicimbi yocansi eyanelisa ngokwengeziwe engu-2.5 ngenyanga ngenkathi beyithatha (labo abase-placebo babenemicimbi engu-1.5 eyanelisa kakhulu ngokocansi ngasikhathi sinye). Baphinde bazizwa benokucindezeleka okuncane kakhulu mayelana nezifiso zabo zocansi, umdwebo omkhulu wabantu abafana noCampbell.
Kepha i-FDA ivimbe isicelo sayo sokuqala sokuvunywa, icaphuna ukukhathazeka ngobucayi bemiphumela engemihle, efaka ukozela, ukuphathwa yikhanda, nesicanucanu, lapho kubhekwa lokho abakubheka njengezinzuzo ezinesizotha. (Funda kabanzi mayelana nokuthi kungani i-FDA Yacela Izifundo Eziningi Nge-Viagra Yabesifazane.)
Abakhiqizi be-flibanserin-nabaningi besifazane ababambe iqhaza ezivivinyweni zokwelashwa zalesi sidakamizwa-bathi lezo zinzuzo azilutho, futhi imiphumela emibi ithambile futhi ilawulwa kalula, ngokwesibonelo, ukuthatha umuthi ngaphambi kokulala. Ngemuva kokuqoqa ubufakazi obuningi nokubamba imihlangano yokucobelelana ngolwazi ne-FDA ukuze bachaze kabanzi ngokungasebenzi kahle kwabesifazane ngokocansi, baphinde bathumela isicelo esisha seDrug for flibanserin ku-FDA ngoLwesibili, ngoFebhuwari 17.
Yize abasekeli bezidakamizwa benethemba, asikho isiqinisekiso sokuthi bazothola imvume-noma uma bethola, kuzothatha isikhathi esingakanani ukuletha i-flibanserin emakethe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abanye ochwepheshe bayazibuza ukuthi umuthi, noma ngabe uthola ukuvunywa, uzobasiza kangakanani abesifazane.
"Ngicabanga ukuthi ingxenye encane yabesifazane abanenkinga yocansi ingazuza," kuphawula uthisha wezocansi u-Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. umbhali we Woza Njengoba Unjalo ($13; amazon.com). Kepha ukholwa ukuthi abesifazane abaningi abakwa-flibanserin abazomakethwa kungenzeka bangabi nakho ukungasebenzi kahle kweqiniso kwezocansi.
Kunezinhlobo ezimbili zesifiso sowesifazane, kuchaza uNagoski: okuzenzakalelayo, lokho okuphaphayo uthola lapho ubona i-hottie entsha ejimini yakho, futhi esabelayo, okwenzeka lapho ungavulelwa ngaphandle kokuluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka, kodwa uyangena. isimo lapho umlingani egqugquzela ucansi. Zombili lezi zinhlobo "zivamile," kepha abesifazane bavame ukuthola umyalezo wokuthi isifiso esizenzekelayo ukuphela-konke-konke egumbini lokulala-futhi yilokho i-flibanserin ethembisa ukukuletha. (Ingabe Ngijwayelekile? Imibuzo Yakho Ephezulu Eyisi-6 Yocansi Iyaphendulwa.)
Ngisho nakwabesifazane abangenalo nhlobo uhlobo lwesifiso, uNagoski uyanezela, "Kubalulekile kubo ukwazi ukuthi kungenzeka ukuba nentuthuko ngaphandle kwezidakamizwa." Ukuqeqeshwa kwengqondo, ukwakha ama-trust, ukuzama izinto ezintsha ekamelweni lokulala-lezi yizinto ezifakazelwe ukuthi zandisa i-libido, kusho uNagoski.
Ukukhipha iLibido Ephansi Egumbini Lokulala
Emqondweni kaCampbell, nokho, kuza ekukhetheni. Njengoba ebengeyona ingxenye yezivivinyo zomtholampilo ze-flibanserin, "Angazi nokuthi izongisebenzela yini. Kodwa ngingathanda ukuthi ivunyelwe ukuze ngiyizame, ngibone ukuthi iyasebenza yini."
Kepha noma ngabe i-flibanserin iphinda yenqatshwe futhi-noma noma ivunywa futhi uCampbell (owethulwe kimi ngumenzi wezidakamizwa) uthola ukuthi akulona ikhambi-konke abekulindele - kube nomphumela omuhle owodwa: inkulumo-mpikiswano ngokugunyazwa kwe-FDA idale ingxoxo evuleleke kakhudlwana mayelana nokungasebenzi kahle kocansi kwabesifazane.
"Ngiyathemba ukuthi abanye besifazane abanamahloni okukhuluma ngalokhu," kusho uCampbell. "Ngoba ukuvala imilomo yethu akusiniki izindlela zokwelashwa esizidingayo. Yingakho nginqume ukuzama ukukhuluma ngakho. Futhi uyazi yini? Lokho kukodwa nje kunginike amandla."