Umlobi: Peter Berry
Usuku Lokudalwa: 16 Ujulayi 2021
Ukuvuselela Usuku: 15 Unovemba 2024
Anonim
Making paying taxes to the state a religious duty was by Qur’an & called "zakat". Part 2 - Audiobook
Ividiyo: Making paying taxes to the state a religious duty was by Qur’an & called "zakat". Part 2 - Audiobook

-Delile

Ngokomlando, umfel 'ukholo ngumuntu okhetha ukunikela ngempilo yakhe noma abhekane nobuhlungu nokuhlupheka esikhundleni sokunikela ngento abayibheka njengengcwele. Ngenkathi leli gama lisasetshenziswa ngale ndlela namuhla, lithathwa ngencazelo yesibili okuncane okuthe xaxa.

Namuhla, leli gama kwesinye isikhathi lisetshenziselwa ukuchaza umuntu obonakala ehlala ehlupheka ngandlela thile.

Bangahlala njalo benendaba ngomaye wabo wakamuva noma ngokuzidela abakwenzele omunye umuntu. Bangaze benze nehaba ngezinto ezimbi ezenzeka ukuze bazwele noma benze abanye bazizwe benecala.

Kuzwakala kujwayelekile? Mhlawumbe ucabanga ngomngani noma ilunga lomndeni - noma nawe uqobo.

Funda ukuze ufunde kabanzi mayelana nokuthi ungayibona kanjani le mindset namathuluzi wokuyihlula.

Ingabe kuyinto efanayo nomqondo wesisulu?

Isakhiwo sokufela ukholo singabonakala sifana kakhulu nomqondo wesisulu. Kokubili kuvame ukujwayeleka kakhulu kwabasindile ekuhlukunyezweni noma kokunye ukuhlukumezeka, ikakhulukazi labo abangenakho ukufinyelela kumathuluzi anele okubhekana nakho.


Kepha lezi zingqondo ezimbili zinokuhluka okucashile.

Umuntu onomqondo wesisulu ngokujwayelekile uzizwa ehlukunyezwa uqobo yinoma yini engahambi kahle, noma ngabe inkinga, ukuziphatha okungahloniphi, noma ukuhlukunyezwa kwakungaqondisiwe kubo.

Bangase bangakhombisi intshisekelo enkulu ekuzweni izixazululo ezingaba khona. Esikhundleni salokho, banganikeza umbono wokufuna ukuzigaxa osizini.

Isakhiwo somfel 'ukholo sidlulela ngalé kwalokhu. Abantu abanenkinga yokufela ukholo abazizwa nje beyizisulu. Ngokuvamile babonakala bephuma endleleni yabo yokuthola izimo ezingadala ukucindezeleka noma okunye ukuhlupheka.

Ngokusho kukaSharon Martin, i-LCSW, umuntu onomfel 'ukholo “udela izidingo zakhe siqu futhi ufuna ukwenzela abanye izinto.” Uyanezela ukuthi "abasizi ngenhliziyo ejabulayo kepha benza kanjalo ngesibopho noma ngecala."

Uqhubeka echaza ukuthi lokhu kungadala ulaka, intukuthelo, nokuzizwa unamandla. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, le mizwa ingenza umuntu azizwe evalelekile, ngaphandle kokukhetha ukuthi cha noma azenzele izinto.


Kubukeka kanjani?

Umuntu ohlale ebonakala ehlupheka - futhi ebonakala ethanda ngaleyo ndlela - angaba nendawo yokufel 'ukholo, ngokusho kukaLynn Somerstein, PhD. Le ndlela yokuhlupheka ingaholela ezinhlungwini ezingokomzwelo noma zomzimba kanye nosizi.

Nakhu ezinye izimpawu zokuthi wena noma omunye umuntu ningaba nenkinga yokufela ukholo.

Wenzela abantu izinto yize ungezwa uziswa

Ukufuna ukusiza abasondelene kakhulu nawe kuphakamisa ukuthi unemvelo enomusa nozwela. Ungazenza lezi zinto ukusiza nje, hhayi ngoba ufuna ukuthi abantu obathandayo babone imizamo yakho noma ukuzidela okwenzele bona.

Kepha ukusiza kusikisela nini ukuba yinkolo yomfel 'ukholo?

Abantu abaningi abakhathazwa ukungabongi bazomane bayeke ukusiza. Uma unokuthambekela kokufel 'ukholo, noma kunjalo, ungaqhubeka nokunikela ngosizo ngenkathi uzwakalisa ukufutheka kwakho ngokukhononda, ngaphakathi noma kwabanye, ngokungabikho kokwazisa.

Uvame ukuzama ukwenza okuningi kakhulu

Ngezikhathi ezithile ukuthatha umsebenzi owengeziwe noma ukwenza izibopho ezimbalwa kakhulu akusho ukuthi ungumfel 'ukholo. Kodwa cabanga ukuthi ngabe uyayamukela yini imithwalo yemfanelo engadingekile kuwe.


Ungazizwa sengathi akukho lutho oluzokwenziwa ngaphandle kokuthi uzenzele wena futhi wenqabe noma yikuphi ukunikezwa kosizo. Noma uzizwa ucasukile ngomsebenzi owengeziwe owenzayo, uyaqhubeka nokwengeza umthwalo wakho womsebenzi lapho ubuzwa. Ungazinikela ngokuzithandela nokwenza okungaphezulu.

Abantu ochitha isikhathi nabo bakwenza uzizwe ungalungile ngawe

Unomngane (noma ababili) ongazizwa kahle ngokubona? Mhlawumbe bahlala befuna ubenzele izinto, ukhulume amazwi angenamqondo, noma ngisho ukukugxeka.

Noma ubudlelwano obunobuthi bukuqeda, akulula ngaso sonke isikhathi ukubunqamula, ikakhulukazi lapho omunye umuntu eyilungu lomndeni noma umngane oseduze. Kepha cabanga ngokuthi uphendula kanjani kubuthi.

Impendulo elusizo ingafaka ukubekwa kwemingcele nokwenza ibanga phakathi kwakho nomunye umuntu.

Kepha uma uqhubeka uchitha isikhathi nabo, uzithole ucabanga noma ukhuluma kakhulu ngokuthi bakwenza uzizwe unosizi kangakanani, ungaba nokuthambekela kokufel 'ukholo.

Uhlala uzizwa unganelisekile emsebenzini wakho noma ebudlelwaneni bakho

Ukungagcwalisi imisebenzi akuvamile. Akuyona futhi into engajwayelekile ukugcina ubudlelwano obubonakala bungasenakusasa noma busilela kulokho obukucabanga. Kepha ngokujwayelekile ungathatha izinyathelo zokubhekana naleso simo nganoma yisiphi isikhathi nomzamo.

Uma unokuthambekela kokufel 'ukholo, ungabona le ndlela yokungagculiseki ezindaweni ezahlukahlukene empilweni yakho yonke. Ungase usole abanye lapho ugcine khona, noma ukholwe ukuthi ufanelwe okuthile okungcono ngenxa yokuzidela okwenze endleleni.

Ukucabanga ukuthi abanye abakuboni noma abakuthandi ukuzidela kwakho nakho kungaba nomthelela entukuthelweni nasentukuthelweni.

Unephethini yokunakekela abanye ebudlelwaneni

Uma ubheka emuva ebudlelwaneni obudlule kungakusiza uqaphele ukuthambekela kokufel 'ukholo.

"Izici ezimbalwa zobudlelwano zingakhomba kule nkinga," kusho uPatrick Cheatham, PsyD. “Obunye ubudlelwano abulingani ngokwakhiwa, njengokuthi abazali banakekele izingane. Noma bangaba nezikhathi zokunganakwa, njengalapho benakekela umlingani ogula kakhulu. ”

Uma ubona ukuthambekela kokuzidela ebuhlotsheni obuningi empilweni yakho, kungakhomba ezintweni eziyinkimbinkimbi yomfel 'ukholo.

Imibuzo okufanele uzibuze yona

Lapho ubheka ubudlelwano bakho, uCheatham uphakamisa ukuthi uzibuze:

  • Ungabuchaza ubudlelwano bakho njengobungalingani ngandlela thile? Mhlawumbe uzizwa sengathi konke okwenzayo ukunakekela ophathina abenza okuncane ukuhlangabezana nezidingo zakho.
  • Ngabe uzizwa uswele njalo isikhala sokuxoxa ngezidingo zakho kanye nezinto ozifunayo?
  • Uyakholelwa yini ukuthi ukungahlangabezani nezidingo zomlingani wakho kungabeka ubudlelwano bakho engcupheni?

Futhi cabanga ngohlangothi lwezinto ezingokomzwelo. Ingabe uzizwa usekelwa, uvikelekile, futhi uthandwa, ngisho nangezikhathi zokungalingani? Noma uzizwa umunyu, uthukuthele, noma wehliswa ngabalingani?

Mhlawumbe ufuna nokuthi bazizwe benecala ngokungakusekeli ngokwengeziwe.

Uzizwa sengathi akukho okwenzayo okulungile

Umuntu othambekele ekufeleni ukholo “angafuna njalo ukusiza, angalokothi aphumelele, futhi azizwe ejeziswa ngenxa yalokho,” kusho uSomerstein.

Ngamanye amagama, kubonakala sengathi noma ngabe wenzani, abantu abayiqondi imizamo yakho yokusiza noma imizamo yakho iwa phansi. Mhlawumbe baze babonakale becasukile esikhundleni sokubonga wena.

Lokhu kungakucasula ngempela. Uzame ngakho konke okusemandleni akho, ngakho-ke okuncane abebengakwenza ukukhombisa ukubonga okuthile. Ngenxa yokudinwa kwakho, ungahle ube nesifiso sokubenza bazizwe benecala ngokungawazisi umsebenzi wakho onzima.

Kungani kuyingozi?

Ukuthambekela kwabafel 'ukholo kungabonakala kungeyona into enkulu, kepha kungabuthinta ubudlelwano bakho, inhlalakahle, kanye nokukhula komuntu siqu.

Ubudlelwano obuqinile

Ukuhlala nesakhiwo somfel 'ukholo kungenza kube nzima ngawe ukuzikhulumela.

NgokukaMartin, abantu abanokuthambekela kokufela ukholo kaningi bakuthola kunzima ukuxhumana ngokucacile noma ngqo, okuholela ezindabeni zobudlelwano.

Esikhundleni sokukhuluma ngokusobala ngezidingo zakho, ungahle usebenzise ulaka nje noma uthukuthele lapho uqhubeka nokugwinya intukuthelo yakho.

Uma ucabanga ukuthi wenze ukuzidela okuningi kumlingani wakho noma omunye othandekayo, ungazizwa uthukuthele noma unganeliseki uma bengakhombisi ukubonga noma banikeze ukuxhaswa kwabo ngokubuyisela.

Ukutubeka

"Abafel 'ukholo balwela ukubeka phambili izidingo zabo," kusho uMartin. "Abazinakekeli, ngakho-ke bangagcina bekhathele, begula emzimbeni, becindezelekile, bekhathazekile, bethukuthele futhi bengagcwaliseki."

Uma uvame ukunikela ngesikhathi sakho ukusiza abanye, wenze okungaphezu kwalokho okudingayo emsebenzini noma ekhaya, noma ungahlangabezani nezidingo zakho ngokujwayelekile, ungahle uzizwe ukhathele futhi ukhungathekile ngokushesha okukhulu.

Ngisho nesimo sakho esingokomzwelo singaba nomthelela ekutubekeni. Ukuzizwa uthukuthele futhi unganelisekile isikhathi esiningi kungakucindezela futhi kukuqede amandla. Kungakugcina futhi ekwamukeleni usizo.

Ozakwethu, abangani, nomndeni imvamisa banganikela ngozwela, basize ngezinselelo, noma banikeze iziphakamiso nezeluleko. Kodwa uma uzizwa ukhungathekile futhi ubacasukele labo osondelene nabo kakhulu, mancane amathuba okuthi wamukele usizo lwabo.

Futhi, uma uqhubeka nokulahla ukwesekwa kwabo, bangagcina bekuyekile ukunikela.

Ukungabi noshintsho oluqondile

Isimo esivamile sokunganeliseki ngokuvamile sihambisana nesakhiwo somfel 'ukholo.

Isibonelo, ungazizwa ubhajwe noma unamathele emsebenzini wakho, ebudlelwaneni, noma empilweni yasekhaya. Okunye kwalokhu kungashintsha njengoba iminyaka idlula, kepha ngandlela thile ugcina ubhekene nezimo ezikhungathekisayo noma ezingabongi kaninginingi.

Uyadabukisa, kepha esikhundleni sokuthatha izinyathelo zokuzenzela ushintsho, ungahle ukhononde, uzisole ngalesi simo, noma usole abanye abantu noma imicimbi. Lapho usuphumile esimweni esisodwa esingagculisi, ungazithola usesimweni esisha kungekudala.

Ngale ndlela, ukuthambekela kokufel 'ukholo kungakuvimbela ekufinyeleleni empumelelweni noma ekufinyeleleni imigomo yomuntu siqu.

Kungenzeka yini ukuyinqoba?

Isakhiwo sokufela ukholo singathatha umonakalo omkhulu kwikhwalithi yakho yempilo, kepha kunezindlela zokukunqoba.

Sebenzela ekuxhumaneni

Uma unokuthambekela kokufel 'ukholo, kunethuba elihle lokuthi ukuthole kuyinselele ukuveza imizwa nezidingo zakho. Ukuthuthukisa amakhono okuxhumana aqinile kungakusiza ukuthi ube ngcono kulokhu.

Ukufunda izindlela ezikhiqizayo zokuxhumana kungakusiza:

  • gwema isimilo esingenzi lutho
  • zwakalisa imizwa, ikakhulukazi leyo yokukhungatheka nentukuthelo
  • gcina imizwa engemihle ingakhi

Ithiphu yepro

Ngokuzayo lapho uzizwa ungazwakali noma ungaqondwa kahle, zama ukuveza amagama akho usebenzisa isitatimende esithi “Mina” ukuze uqiniseke ngaphandle kokuvikela omunye umuntu.

Ithi unomngane okukumemela esidlweni sakusihlwa, kepha bahlala bethembele kuwe ukuthola iresiphi nokwenza konke ukuthenga.

Esikhundleni sokuthi "Ungenza wonke umsebenzi onzima, ngakho-ke akumnandi kimi," ungathi "Nginomuzwa wokuthi ngihlala ngigcina ngenza umsebenzi wokububula, futhi angicabangi ukuthi lokho kulungile."

Beka imingcele

Ukusiza abangani nomndeni kungabalulekile kuwe. Kepha uma usufinyelele umkhawulo wakho (noma usuvele uthathe okungaphezu kwamandla akho), kulungile ukuthi cha. Ngempela, kunjalo.

Ukuzishisa ngeke kusize umthwalo wakho osuvele ususindayo, futhi kungakhuphula imizwa yentukuthelo kamuva. Zama ukwenqaba ngesizotha esikhundleni salokho.

Ungayithambisa ngencazelo, kuya ngobudlelwano bakho nomuntu obuzayo. Khumbula nje ukuthi akukho lutho olungalungile ngokunakekela izidingo zakho kuqala.

"Kubalulekile ukuqala ukwenqaba izinto eziphazamisa izidingo zakho zomuntu siqu noma ezingahambisani nezindinganiso zakho noma izinhloso zakho," kusho uMartin.

Yenza isikhathi sokuzinakekela

Ukuzinakekela kungabandakanya:

  • ukukhetha okusebenzayo kwezempilo, njengokulala ngokwanele, ukudla ukudla okunomsoco nokunakekela ukukhathazeka ngempilo engokomzimba
  • ukwenza isikhathi sokuzijabulisa nokuphumula
  • ukunaka inhlalakahle yakho engokomzwelo nokubhekana nezinselelo eziqhamukayo

Khuluma nomelaphi

Ukusebenza ngokuthambekela kokufela ukholo kungaba nzima. Ukwesekwa kochwepheshe kungaba nenzuzo enkulu, ikakhulukazi uma ufuna ukufunda kabanzi ngezimbangela eziyisisekelo ezinikela emaphethini wokuziphatha kokuzidela.

UCheatham uchaza ukuthi ekwelashweni unga:

  • hlola uhlelo lwakho lobudlelwano
  • khulisa ukuqaphela emaphethini ahilela ukuzidela
  • gqamisa futhi uphonsele inselelo noma ikuphi ukucabanga okuzungeze ukubaluleka kwakho nencazelo yobudlelwano
  • zama izindlela ezahlukahlukene zokuhlobana nabanye

Noma yimaphi amathiphu wokubhekana nayo komunye umuntu?

Uma wazi othile othambekele ekuziphatheni njengomfel 'ukholo, mhlawumbe uzizwa ukhungathekile ngokuziphatha kwakhe. Mhlawumbe uke wazama ukunikeza iseluleko, kodwa bayayiphikisa imizamo yakho yokusiza. Kungazizwa sengathi bafuna ukukhononda ngempela.

Lezi zeluleko ngeke zishintshe omunye umuntu, kepha zingakusiza ukuthi wakhe umbono kubo ongakubangeli ukukhathazeka okungaka.

Cabanga ngesizinda sabo

Kungasiza ukukhumbula ukuthi izinto eziningi eziyinkimbinkimbi zingadlala kule mindset.

Ngenkathi umuntu angafunda ukubhekana nokuziphatha okuvame ukwenzeka ngenxa yokuthambekela kokufela ukholo, imvamisa abanakho ukulawula okuningi ukuthi lokhu kuthambekela kwaqala kanjani.

Kwezinye izimo, izici zamasiko zingaba nomthelela ekuthambekeleni kokufel 'ukholo. Kwabanye, amandla omndeni noma okuhlangenwe nakho kobuntwana kungadlala indima.

Yiba nobubele

Ungahle ungadingi ukuqonda izizathu zokuziphatha kwabo ukuze ube khona kothandekayo. Ngokuvamile kwanele ukumane unikeze uzwela nokusekela.

"Yiba nomusa njalo," kukhuthaza uSomerstein.

Beka imingcele

Lokho kusho, ububele akudingeki ukuthi buchithe isikhathi esiningi nalo muntu.

Uma ukuchitha isikhathi nothile kukuqeda, ukunciphisa isikhathi osichitha ndawonye kungaba ukukhetha okunempilo. Ukusetha uhlobo oluthile lomngcele kungakusiza nokuthi unikeze umusa nozwela oluthe xaxa lapho yenza yabelana isikhala nalowo muntu.

Okubalulekile

Impilo yokubekezela ingakuthatha umthwalo, ubudlelwano bakho kanye nempilo yakho. Noma ungaziqondi kahle izimpande zokuthambekela kwakho kokufel 'ukholo, usengathatha izinyathelo zokuguqula le mindset futhi uyigcine ingabi nomthelela omubi empilweni yakho.

Uma unenkinga yokwazi ukuthi ungaqala kuphi ngokwakho, cabanga ukukhuluma nochwepheshe oqeqeshiwe wezempilo yengqondo ongakusiza ukuthi uhlole la maphethini ngokujulile.

UCrystal Raypole wake wasebenza njengombhali nomhleli weGoodTherapy. Imikhakha yakhe enentshisekelo ifaka izilimi nezincwadi zase-Asia, ukuhunyushwa kwesiJapane, ukupheka, isayensi yemvelo, ukuzethemba ngocansi, nempilo yengqondo. Ngokukhethekile, uzibophezele ekusizeni ukunciphisa ukucwaswa okuzungeze izingqinamba zezempilo yengqondo.

-Conywayo

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