Umlobi: Carl Weaver
Usuku Lokudalwa: 28 Ufebhuwari 2021
Ukuvuselela Usuku: 1 Ujulayi 2024
Anonim
Divorce Dynamics {Why are we always seeking one?}
Ividiyo: Divorce Dynamics {Why are we always seeking one?}

-Delile

Bheka ukuphinda kuka-Alexi Pappas, futhi uzozibuza ukuthi "ini ngeke ngikwazi uyakwenza? "

Ungase wazi umgijimi waseGreece waseMelika ekusebenzeni kwakhe kuMidlalo Yama-Olympic Yasehlobo ka-2016 lapho ebeka irekhodi kazwelonke laseGreece emjahweni wamamitha angu-10,000. Kepha, njengokungathi ukunqoba kwakhe kwezemidlalo akuzange kumangalise ngokwanele, lo mdlali oneminyaka engu-31 ubuye abe ngumbhali nomlingisi ophumelelayo. Ngo-2016, uPappas wabhala ngokubambisana, waqondisa ngokubambisana, futhi wadlala ifilimu I-Tracktown. Kamuva waqhubeka nokudala ngokuhlanganyela futhi walingisa efilimini Amaphupho ama-Olympic, eyaqala ukusebenza eSXSW e2019, kanye noNick Kroll. NgoJanuwari 2021, wakhipha imemo yakhe yokuqala, IBravey: Ukujaha Amaphupho, Ubuhlobo Obubuhlobo, Neminye Imibono Emikhulu, ngesandulela somsomahlaya uMaya Rudolph.


Ngenkathi impilo kaPappas ingazwakala ingathandeki, ungowokuqala ukukutshela ukuthi bekungelula. Eminyakeni engama-26, wayephezulu emdlalweni wakhe wokugijima, kepha, njengoba ufunda kwimemo yakhe, impilo yakhe yengqondo yayisezingeni eliphansi kakhulu.

Ku-2020 op-ed ye I-New York Times, Uhlanganyela ukuthi uqale wabona ukuthi unenkinga yokulala futhi wazizwa ekhathazekile ngokuthi yini elandelayo ngomsebenzi wakhe. Ngaleso sikhathi wayezama ukugijima amakhilomitha angu-120 ngesonto kuyilapho elala ngehora elilodwa ebusuku. Ukuzikhandla okuhlanganiswe nokukhathala kwamholela ekutheni adabule imisipha yomsipha futhi aqhekeze ithambo emhlane ongezansi. Ngokushesha uPappas waqala ukuzwa imicabango yokuzibulala futhi kwatholakala ukuthi unesifo sokucindezeleka, wahlanganyela nephepha.

Ukulwa Nokucindezeleka Lapho Impilo Ibukeka Iphelele

“Kimina, kwakungimangaza kakhulu ngoba kwakungemva kwama-Olympics [ka-2016]—isilinganiso esikhulu kunazo zonke empilweni yami,” kusho uPappas. Umumo kuphela. "Okwamanje ngazizwa ngiwumqansa - bengingazi ngokukhathala ngokweqile kwengqondo kanye ne-adrenal okuhambisana nokujaha iphupho elilodwa."


Ukuthola ukwehla kwempilo yakho yengqondo ngemva komcimbi omkhulu wempilo kuvame kakhulu kunalokho ongase ukucabange - futhi akudingekile ukuthi wehle ekuwine indondo yegolide ukuze uyizwe. Amaphromoshini, imishado, noma ukuthuthela edolobheni elisha kwesinye isikhathi kungahle kuhambisane nemiphumela engemihle yezinhlobo ezithile.

“Ngisho nalapho ubhekene nesenzakalo esijabulisayo sokuphila, okuhlanganisa nesihlelelwe futhi sasetshenzwa, ungase ube nokucindezeleka nokungezwani lapho usebenzela okuthile okukhulu,” kuchaza u-Allyson Timmons, umeluleki wezempilo yengqondo ogunyaziwe futhi ongumnikazi. ye-Envision Therapy. "Lapho usuqedile umgomo wakho, ubuchopho bakho nomzimba wakho kuzothola imiphumela emibi yalokho kucindezeleka nokucindezeleka naphezu kokuzalwa ngenxa yempumelelo enhle." Le miphumela ingaba nomthelela ekwandeni kwengozi yezimpawu zokucindezeleka, kunezela u-Timmons.

Ngenkathi uPappas ethi ukucindezeleka kwakhe kwamethusa, wayengeyena ongaziwa ngobuhlungu obuhambisana nokugula kwengqondo. Ngaphambi nje kokuzalwa kwakhe kwesihlanu, washonelwa unina ngenxa yokuzibulala.


"Ukwesaba kwami ​​okukhulu ukuthi ngingahle ngigcine sengifana nomama," kusho uPappas ngokuvumelana nezinkinga zakhe. Kepha nezimpawu zakhe zokudangala zanikeza ifasitela emzabalazweni owake wabhekana nomama wakhe. "Ngangimqonda ngezindlela engingakaze ngifune ukuzenza," kusho uPappas. "Futhi ngiyazwelana naye engingakaze ngibe nalo ngaphambili. [Umama] wayengekho 'uhlanya' - wayedinga nje usizo. Ngeshwa, akazange aluthole usizo ayeludinga." (Okuhlobene: Lokho Wonke Umuntu Okudingayo Ukwazi Ngamanani Akhuphukayo Wokuzibulala e-U.S.)

Ingxoxo Yezempilo Yengqondo Emidlalweni yePro

Ngaphandle kokwazi indaba kaPappas, ungahle usheshe ucabange ukuthi akanakunqotshwa. Abasubathi bavame ukubhekwa njengamaqhawe. Bagijima ngesivinini esirekhodiwe njenge-Pappas, bawela emoyeni njengo-Simone Biles futhi benze umlingo ezinkundleni zethenisi ezifana noSerena Williams. Ukuzibuka zenza izinto ezimangazayo, kulula ukukhohlwa ukuthi zingabantu nje.

"Emkhakheni wezemidlalo, abantu bavame ukubona izinselelo zempilo yengqondo njengobuthakathaka, noma njengophawu lokuthi umsubathi akafanelekile noma 'ungaphansi' kunenye indlela, noma ukuthi kungukukhetha," kusho uPappas. "Kodwa empeleni, kufanele simane sibheke impilo yengqondo ngendlela efanayo esibheka ngayo impilo yomzimba. Kungenye into yokusebenza komsubathi, futhi ingalimala njenganoma iyiphi enye ingxenye yomzimba," usho kanje.

Isithombe sempilo yengqondo phakathi kwabagijimi abangochwepheshe siqala ukucaca, siphoqa bobabili abalandeli nezikhungo esezinesikhathi eside ukuba zibheke futhi zifune ushintsho.

Isibonelo, ngo-2018, umbhukudi wase-Olimpiki uMichael Phelps waqala ukuvula impi yakhe ngokukhathazeka, ukudangala, nemicabango yokuzibulala - yize ayesephakeme kakhulu emsebenzini wakhe - awuchaza embhalweni we-HBO ka-2020, Isisindo Segolide. Futhi kuleli sonto nje, umpetha wethenisi uNaomi Osaka umemezele ukuhoxa kwakhe kuFrench Open ecaphuna impilo yakhe engokwengqondo. Lokhu, ngemva kokuhlawuliswa u-$15,000 ngokuphuma ezingxoxweni nabezindaba, ngaphambilini wakuchaza kwakuwukuvikela impilo yakhe yengqondo. Lo mdlali oneminyaka engu-23 ubudala uveze ukuthi "unezikhathi zokucindezeleka" kusukela nge-2018 U.S. Open, futhi "uthola ukukhathazeka okukhulu" lapho ekhuluma nabezindaba. KuTwitter, ukhulume ngamathemba akhe okusebenzisana neWomen Tennis Association Tour ngezindlela "zokwenza izinto zibe ngcono kubadlali, abezindaba nabalandeli." (UPappas ukhulume ku-IG ekhuluma ngengcaphuno ayinikeze I-Wall Street Journal ngalolu daba, ngithi "Ngikholwa ukuthi sisencupheni yokuvuselelwa kwezempilo yengqondo futhi ngiyabonga abesifazane abanjengoNawomi ngokusiza ekuholeni indlela.")

Ngenkathi uPappas ethi uzizwa ukuthi isiko nezingxoxo ezungeze impilo yengqondo ziyathuthuka, usemningi umsebenzi odinga ukwenziwa emhlabeni wezemidlalo yezobuchwepheshe. "Amaqembu ezemidlalo adinga ukufaka ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo kuma-rosta abo okusekelwa, futhi abaqeqeshi badinga ukwamukela ukunakekelwa kwempilo yengqondo njengengxenye ebalulekile yokusebenza okuphezulu," esho.

Umgijimi osezingeni eliphezulu manje ukwenze kwaba umgomo wokukhuthaza ukubaluleka kokubeka phambili impilo yezengqondo - kubandakanya ukufinyelela kalula ekunakekelweni okufanele. Uyaqhubeka nokuveza okwenzeka kuye ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, ngokukhuluma esidlangalaleni, nasezingxoxweni ezahlukahlukene zabezindaba.

“Ngesikhathi ngibhala incwadi yami I-Bravey, Ngangazi ukuthi ngifuna ukuxoxa indaba yami ephelele, futhi i-epiphany yami yokubona ubuchopho njengengxenye yomzimba ibalulekile kulokho engiyikho namuhla, "kusho uPappas." Ngikholelwa ngokweqiniso ukuthi yisizathu sokuthi ngisaphila. "

Ukugqugquzela kukaPappas kuyisinyathelo esiwusizo ekushintsheni, kepha uyazi ukuthi ukwakha ukuqwashisa kuyingxenye eyodwa kuphela yesibalo.

Ukweqa imingcele ekunakekelweni kwezempilo yengqondo

Ukudlondlobala kwezikwele ezibukekayo ze-Instagram nokuthunyelwe kwe-TikTok mayelana nempilo yengqondo kunganikeza inkohliso yezwe elenzelwe ubungozi, kepha yize kunokwanda kokuqwashisa online, ukucwaswa nezithiyo zokufinyelela zisatholakala kakhulu.

Kulinganiselwa ukuthi umuntu oyedwa kwabahlanu uzoba nokugula kwengqondo ngonyaka onikeziwe, kepha "umgoqo wokungena ekutholeni udokotela wezempilo yengqondo ungaba mkhulu kakhulu, ikakhulukazi kumuntu ohlushwa ukucindezeleka, ukukhathazeka, noma enye impilo yengqondo ukulimala, "kusho uPappas. "Ngesikhathi ngigula futhi ekugcineni ngibona ukuthi ngidinga usizo, ukuhamba ezweni eliyinkimbinkimbi lomshuwalense, amakhono ahlukahlukene, nezinye izinto eziguquguqukayo ngazizwa nginamandla," kuchaza yena. (Bheka: Izinsizakalo Zezempilo Yengqondo Ezimahhala Ezinikeza Ukuxhaswa Okungabizi Futhi Okutholakalayo)

Ngaphezu kwalokho, abantu abaningi kulo lonke elase-US babhekene nokushoda kwezinketho zokunakekelwa kwengqondo ezitholakalayo. Izindawo ezingaphezu kuka-4,000 kulo lonke elase-US, ezinenani labantu abayizigidi eziyi-110, zibhekene nokuntuleka kochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo, ngokusho kweMental Health America. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ucwaningo lwango-2018 olwenziwa yiNational Council for Mental Wellbeing kanye neCohen Veterans Network lwathola ukuthi amaphesenti angama-74 abantu baseMelika abakholelwa ukuthi izinsiza zengqondo ziyafinyeleleka.

Izindleko (ezinomshuwalense noma ngaphandle kwazo) zingesinye isithiyo esikhulu sokwelashwa. Ocwaningweni olwenziwe yiNational Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), le nhlangano ithole ukuthi amaphesenti angama-33 abaphendulile anenkinga yokuthola umhlinzeki wezempilo yengqondo ozothatha umshwalense wabo.

Kwakungukuqonda kwakhe okusondelene nalezi zingqinamba okwaholela uPappas ukuthi asebenzisane noMonarch, inethiwekhi yabelaphi abasanda kwethulwa emhlabeni jikelele. Ngenkundla, abasebenzisi bayakwazi ukusesha imininingo egciniwe yayo yedijithali yochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo abanamalayisense angaphezu kuka-80,000 ngabakhethekile, indawo, kanye nomshwalense owamukelwa ngaphakathi kwenethiwekhi. Ungakwazi futhi ukubuka ukutholakala komelaphi kanye nama-aphoyintimenti webhuku i-IRL noma nge-telemedicine konke ngaphakathi kwesayithi le-Monarch.

IMonarch yadalwa ngesidingo sokunikeza iziguli ithuluzi elilula lokuthola ukunakekelwa kwezempilo yengqondo, kuchaza uWoward Spector, oyi-CEO ye-SimplePractice, isiteji sokuqopha ezempilo se-elekthronikhi esisebenza ngamafu sabasebenzi abazimele, ekukhipheni abezindaba. USector uthi uzwe ukuthi abafuna ukwelashwa "bashiywe ngaphandle emakhazeni uma sekuziwa ekutholeni ngokukhululekile ukuthola, ukubhuka, ukuvakasha, kanye nokukhokhela ukunakekelwa ngendlela abangakwazi ngayo cishe konke okunye," nokuthi i-Monarch ikhona "ukususa ziningi izithiyo ezithikameza ukuthola ukwelashwa lapho ukudinga kakhulu. "

Ngokuzayo, i-Monarch ihlela ukukhipha ukufanisa kwabelaphi ukuze isize abasebenzisi bathole uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo ohambisana kakhulu nezidingo zabo. UPappas, osebenzisa iMonarch uqobo, uthi uzizwa "ekhululekile futhi esekelwa" lapho esebenzisa ipulatifomu. “I-Monarch yenza kube lula ukuthi noma ngubani athole usizo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi unesipiliyoni noma uxhaso oluningi oluvela ngaphandle,” usho kanje.

Ukukhumbula Ukuthi Impilo Engokwengqondo Kuyisibopho

Ukuze kucace, ukulondoloza impilo yakho engokwengqondo akupheli ngemva kwezikhathi ezimbalwa nomelaphi noma lapho izimpawu zehlile. Ngokuphawulekayo, okungenani amaphesenti angu-50 alabo abalulama esiqeshini sabo sokuqala sokucindezeleka bazoba nesiqephu esisodwa noma ngaphezulu ekuphileni kwabo, ngokusho kwephepha UmtholampiloPsychologyBuyekeza. Nakuba u-Pappas ekwazile ukubhekana nokucindezeleka kwakhe okubi kakhulu ngemva kwama-Olympics, manje usephatha ubuchopho bakhe njenganoma iyiphi enye ingxenye yomzimba ethanda ukulimala kabusha. (Okuhlobene: Ongakusho Kothile Ocindezelekile, Ngokusho Kwezazi Zempilo Yengqondo)

"Bengikade ngincinzwe imizwa emhlane, futhi sengiyazi manje ukuthi ngingaqaphela kanjani izimpawu zakuqala futhi ngithathe izinyathelo ezifanele zokululama ngaphambi kokuba ilimale," kusho uPappas. "Kuyafana nokudangala. Ngiyabona lapho izinkomba ezithile, njengokuhlupheka ukulala, ziqala ukwenzeka, futhi ngingacindezela ukumisa isikhashana ngizihlole ukuthi yini engidinga ukuyilungisa ukuze ngihlale ngiphilile," esho.

"Mhlawumbe ubungeke ungabaze ukuya kokwelapha umzimba uma uthinte idolo lakho ekugijimeni noma uma ulimaza intamo yakho engozini yemoto, ngakho-ke kungani uzizwa uxakile ngokufuna owelapha ngengqondo ngoba ubuchopho bakho buthambile?" Kubuza uPappas. "Akulona iphutha lakho ukuthi ulimele, futhi sonke sifanelwe ukuba nempilo."

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