Ubudlelwano bezothando: Kunini lapho Uzovalelisa khona

-Delile

• Kusayina ukuthi ubudlelwano abunampilo
• Izinto ezakhayo ongazizama ngaphambi kokuvalelisa
• Amathiphu wokuqeda ubuhlobo
• Uzovalelisa nini
• Cabanga ngokufuna ukwesekwa
• Yiba oqondayo
• Ukuzelapha nokuzinakekela ngemuva kokwehlukana
• Ukuthatha

Abantu abanesifo sokuphazamiseka kwengqondo okuguquguqukayo babhekana nezinguquko ezinkulu emizweni engadala iziqephu zomuntu noma zokudangala. Ngaphandle kokwelashwa, lokhu kugudluka kwemizwelo kungenza kube nzima ukuphatha isikole, umsebenzi, nobudlelwano bothando.

Kungaba nzima kumlingani ongakaze asondele kumuntu onesifo se-bipolar ukuqonda izinselelo ezithile.

Ngenkathi ukuphazamiseka kwe-bipolar kungaletha izinselelo, akuchazi umlingani wakho.

"Ukugula ngengqondo akusho isimo sokuba buthakathaka njalo, kepha kunalokho kungaba neziqephu zezikhathi ezinzima ngokwengeziwe," kusho uDkt Gail Saltz, uprofesa osebenzisana nomtholampilo wezifo zengqondo eNew York-Presbyterian Hospital Weill-Cornell Medical College.

"Noma ngabe kunesikhathi somzabalazo omningi, inhloso kungaba ukubabuyisela esimeni esigculisayo futhi bakugcine lokho."

Lesi sifo sinezici ezinhle. Abantu abanenkinga yokuphazamiseka kwengqondo okuguquguqukayo bangabonisa “ubuciko obuphezulu, ngezinye izikhathi, amandla amakhulu, obenza babe ngabokuqala futhi bacabangele,” kusho uDkt. Saltz. Uqaphele ukuthi ama-CEO amaningi ane-bipolar disorder futhi abelana ngalezi zimfanelo.

Ngenkathi lesi sifo singelona ikhambi, ukwelashwa kungaphatha ngempumelelo izimpawu futhi kusize ekugcineni ukuzinza. Lokhu kungenza kube lula ukuqhubeka nobudlelwano nokukhuthaza ukubambisana okude, okunempilo.

Kodwa-ke, kungenzeka futhi ukuthi ubudlelwano bungabi nempilo ngisho noma izimpawu ze-bipolar zomlingani oyedwa zilawulwa kahle. Abanye abantu bangabhekana nezinselelo ezenza kube nzima ukuba sebudlelwaneni.

Nazi ezinye izinto okufanele uzicabangele uma ucabanga ukuqeda ubudlelwano nomlingani wakho okutholwe ukuthi une-bipolar disorder.

Kusayina ukuthi ubudlelwano abunampilo

Kungenzeka ukuba nobudlelwano obunempilo, obujabulisayo nomuntu ophila nesifo se-bipolar. Kodwa-ke, kungahle kube nezinkomba ezithile eziphakamisa ukubheka obunye ubudlelwano.

UDkt. Saltz uthe izimpawu ezimbalwa zingakhombisa ubudlelwane obungenampilo, ikakhulukazi nomlingani otholakale enesifo se-bipolar:

• uzizwe ukuthi ungumnakekeli ebudlelwaneni
• ukutubeka
• ukudela imigomo yakho yempilo, izindinganiso zakho, nezidingo zakho zokuba nomlingani wakho

Umlingani wakho ukumisa imishanguzo yakhe noma imishanguzo nakho kungaba luphawu lokuxwayisa ngekusasa lobudlelwano.Futhi, njenganoma yibuphi ubuhlobo, akufanele neze ube nomuzwa wokuthi umlingani wakho ubeka wena noma wena engozini.

Izimpawu ezingenampilo zihamba ngazo zombili izindlela. Umuntu otholwe ukuthi une-bipolar disorder angabona amafulegi abomvu avela kumlingani wakhe, naye.

"Umlingani ocwaswa futhi ongenandaba neze nezinkinga zempilo yengqondo, ngeshwa ejwayelekile, angaba ngumlingani onzima ukuba naye," kusho uDkt. Saltz.

"Kungenzeka ukuthi bayazehlisa noma bakulahle, [besho izinto ezinjengokuthi] 'Awunayo ngempela i-bipolar disorder,' [enganciphisa ukwelashwa kwakho," engeza. Kumlingani otholakale ene-bipolar disorder, lesi kungaba yisikhathi sokubheka obunye ubudlelwano.

Izinto ezakhayo ongazizama ngaphambi kokuvalelisa

Kunezinto eziningana ongazama ngazo ukugcina ubuhlobo.

Okokuqala, khumbula ukuthi kungani ukubo buhlobo. “Mhlawumbe uzibandakanye nalo muntu futhi wamkhetha ngoba kunezinto eziningi ozithandayo futhi ozithandayo ngalo muntu,” kusho uDkt. Saltz.

Uphakamise ukuthi uzifundise ngesifo se-bipolar ukuqonda kangcono isimo. Kuyasiza futhi ukufunda ukubona izimpawu zokudangala noma i-hypomania ukuze ukwazi ukweluleka umlingani wakho ukuthi akhulume nomhlinzeki wabo wezokunakekelwa kwempilo uma kudingeka.

UDkt. Saltz uphinde wancoma ukuthi ukhuthaze umlingani wakho ukuthi aqhubeke nokwelashwa futhi aphuze noma imiphi imithi ayibekelwe.

"Kwesinye isikhathi, lapho abantu bezinzile isikhashana, bafana nokuthi," O, angicabangi ukuthi ngisadinga okunye kwalokhu. ’Imvamisa lowo umqondo omubi,” kusho yena.

UDkt.Alex Dimitriu, umsunguli weMenlo Park Psychiatry & Sleep Medicine, uthe ungaphinda usekele umlingani wakho ngokunikeza "ukugada okunomusa, okungahluleli nokuqondisa" nokukhuthaza imikhuba enempilo.

Lokhu kuziphatha kufaka:

• ukulala ngokwanele, nokulala njalo
• kusetshenziswa izinto ezincane
• ukuzivocavoca umzimba
• ukwenza ukulandelela kwemizwa okulula, kwansuku zonke
• ukuzijwayeza ukuzazi
• ukuthatha imithi njengoba kunqunyiwe

Ngokwengeziwe, uphakamise ukuthi umlingani wakho akhombe abantu abathathu abathembekile ukuze ahlole nabo (ungaba munye) uma bezizwa bengasebenzi.

"Vumela labo bantu bese behlinzeka ngohlobo lwesilinganiso, bese bethi, 'Hhe, yebo. ‘Unekhanda elishisayo, noma uphansi kancane,’ noma yini abangayinikeza, ”kusho yena.

Amathiphu wokuqeda ubuhlobo

Kufanele ubuyekeze ngokushesha noma yibuphi ubudlelwano obube yingozi, futhi unakekele ukuphepha kwakho. Ngaphandle kwalokho, uma izimpawu ezingenampilo ziqhubeka noma zikhula zimbi kakhulu, futhi kungaba yisikhathi sokucabanga ngokuqeda ubudlelwano.

Uzovalelisa nini

UDkt Dimitriu weluleke ngokuhlukana nophathina wakho lapho enesiqephu sobumnandi.

"Izikhathi eziningi, ngicabanga ukuthi akukho ongakusho okuzoqinisekisa omunye umuntu nganoma yini, uma ngabe bengasohlangothini lwe-mania ngempela," esho.

"Into enkulu kunazo zonke, ngicabanga, empeleni, ukubambezela ukuhlukana uma lokho kwenzeka futhi kunesikhathi sokuphola," engeza.

Ngemuva kwalokho, "Ungenzi izinqumo ezinkulu ngaphandle kokuthi abangane bakho abathathu [abakhonjiwe nabathembekile] basho ukuthi usendaweni efanayo. Futhi lokho kuhlanganisa nobudlelwano. ”

Cabanga ngokufuna ukwesekwa

Uma uhlukana, uDkt.Saltz uncoma ukuthi uqinisekise ukuthi umlingani wakho unokwesekwa okungokomzwelo, futhi uma ukwazi ukuxhumanisa nochwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo, lokho kungaba wusizo.

Uma unemininingwane yokuxhumana nodokotela wabo ungashiya umyalezo, yize wazi ukuthi umelaphi wabo angeke akwazi ukukhuluma nawe ngenxa yoMthetho Wokuphathwa Kokuphathwa Komshwalense Wezempilo kanye Nokuziphendulela (HIPPA).

"Ungashiya umyalezo kumelaphi wabo uthi ngokuyisisekelo, 'Siyahlukana, ngiyazi ukuthi lokhu kuzoba nzima, futhi ngifuna ukukuxwayisa ngalokho,'" kusho yena.

Ubuye weluleka ngokunaka noma imiphi imicabango yokuzibulala. Ngokuya ngokubuyekezwa kocwaningo luka-2014, cishe amaphesenti angama-25 kuye kwangama-50 abantu abanesifo se-bipolar bazozama ukuzibulala okungenani kanye.

“Uma umuntu kunoma yisiphi isimo esabisa ngokuzibulala, leso yisimo esivelayo. Kufanele uthathe noma yiziphi izindlela ozibone zitholakala njengamanje ukuthi zikwenze lokho uziyise egumbini lezimo eziphuthumayo, ”kusho yena.

"Lokho kuyakhathazeka noma ngabe uyahlukana nabo."

Yiba oqondayo

Ungazama ukusekela ngangokunokwenzeka ngesikhathi sokuhlukana. Yize kunjalo, uDkt David Reiss, udokotela wezifo zengqondo onamahhovisi eSouthern naseCentral California, uthe abanye abantu kungenzeka bangalaleli ngoba bezizwa belahliwe.

"Bangase bangakwazi 'ukusebenza' ngobudlelwano obuphela ngendlela esebenzayo, futhi 'ukuvalwa' okuvuthiwe kungenzeka kungabi yinto engenakwenzeka," kusho yena.

"Yiba nomusa, kodwa ungazikhukhumezi, futhi uqaphele ukuthi uma usuqedile ubudlelwane, umusa wakho kungenzeka ungabe usamukeleka, futhi lokho kulungile."

"Ungakuthathi njengokuhlasela komuntu siqu," engeza. “Yazi ukuthi indlela omunye umuntu asabela ngayo, kanye nokukwazi kwakhe ukugcina ubudlelwano obungenasisekelo noma obunesizotha ngemuva kokunqatshwa okubonakalayo, kungenzeka kukhawulelwe futhi kungaphezu kwamandla akho.

“Ingabe zama ukuba nobubele, kodwa ukulungele ukwenqatshwa kwalolozwela ngaphandle kokuzicabangela wena. ”

Ukuzelapha nokuzinakekela ngemuva kokwehlukana

Noma ikuphi ukwahlukana kungenzeka kube nzima, ikakhulukazi uma ube nokuzibophezela kwesikhathi eside kumlingani wakho. UDkt Reiss uthe lesi simo singaholela emizweni yecala.

"Uma uqala ukuzizwa unecala kanti iqiniso ukuthi ubungakwenzanga ukuzibophezela komunye umuntu obekulindelwe ngokuphelele, icala lakho lizodala intukuthelo, ukudangala, njll kuwe nakuwo nakomunye umuntu bese kukubi kakhulu," kusho uDkt Reiss. kusho.

Wanezela, "Sebenza ngecala lakho ngangokunokwenzeka ngaphambi, ngesikhathi nangemva kokwehlukana."

Kuzothatha nesikhathi ukuphola. UDkt. Saltz uphakamise ukuthi wenze konke okusemandleni akho ukuze ufunde kunoma yibuphi ubuhlobo obungasebenzi. "Kuhlale kukuhle ukuthi uzihlolele wena ukuthi kungani ukhethe lo muntu, yini obekufanele uyidonse," kusho yena.

“Ngabe leyo yinto, uma ubheka emuva, uzizwa kamnandi ngayo, noma ingabe ihambisana nephethini ethile ebingakulungelanga? Zama nje ukufunda ebuhlotsheni obungagcinanga ekugcineni futhi uqonde kabanzi ngawe kuleyo ndaba. "

Ukuthatha

Ungaba nobudlelwano obunempilo, obujabulisayo nomlingani otholakale ene-bipolar disorder.

Isimo singaletha zombili izici ezinhle nezinselele ebudlelwaneni, kepha ungathatha izinyathelo zokweseka umlingani wakho nokubasiza ukuphatha izimpawu zabo.

Uma ubona izimpawu ezingenampilo kubambiswano ezingathuthuki, ungafuna ukwehlukana. Ungazama ukusekela ngesikhathi sokwehlukana, kodwa ungakuthathi uqobo uma bengalamukeli usizo lwakho.

Njenganoma yibuphi ubuhlobo, gxila ekufundeni kokuhlangenwe nakho njengoba uqhubekela phambili.