Isayensi Engemuva Kokuheha

-Delile

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Izindaba ezinhle zakho nowesifazane wephiko lakho: Uzothola kuphela umfana ofanayo oyenga isigamu sesikhathi. Ngokuya ngocwaningo olusha olushicilelwe ku- I-Biology yamanje, lokho abantu abakuthola kukhanga ngokomzimba kuhluke ngokuphelele kulowo muntu

Ukuthola ukuthi yini ngempela eyenza "uhlobo" lomuntu othile, abacwaningi baseWellesley College babe nabahlanganyeli abangama-35,000 abalinganisa ubuso ngokuheha. Nakuba kunombono wokuthi ubuso obuthile obunokulingana ngokuphelele (njengoBrad Pitt) bujabulisa umhlaba wonke, abacwaningi bathola ukuthi abantu abahlukene empeleni bakhangwa ubuso obufanayo kuphela ngamaphesenti angu-50 esikhathi. (Kungani ukuheha kudakwa kangaka? Ngoba ubuso obuhle bufana neheroin, isifundo sithi.)

Njengoba abantu abaningi bengavumelani ngokuthi ngubani oshisa kakhulu, abacwaningi bazibuza ukuthi ngabe ukuthanda kwethu umzimba kuhlobene nemvelo noma ukunakekelwa. Ukuphela kwendlela yokulawula ukwenzelela kwezakhi zofuzo nezemvelo? Ngokutadisha abantu abanofuzo olufanayo nokuchayeka kwemvelo-amawele. Kodwa ngisho nabantu abafana nawe ungathola kuphela ubuso obufanayo bukhanga amaphesenti angu-50 esikhathi!

Manje yini ethonya "uhlobo" lwethu? Abaphenyi bacabanga ukuthi konke kusekelwe kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakho okuhlukile. Kungakho ngisho ne-BFF yakho engu- * cishe umuntu ofanayo * njengoba ungangenelwa isethi yezici ezihluke ngokuphelele: Abekho abantu ababili abanesethi efanayo yokuhlangenwe nakho nokuxhumana.

Abaphenyi baqagela ukuthi kunezinhlobo ezimbili zokuhlangenwe nakho okuyinhloko okuthonya ukuheha kwethu kothile: Ukujwayela kanye nezinhlangano ezinhle. Ucwaningo lwangaphambilini lubonise ukuthi uma uxhumana kakhulu nomuntu, umthola ethandeka kakhulu. Lesi simiso sisebenza ngobuso obufanayo, yingakho kwesinye isikhathi insizwa yomngane wakho ibukeka ifana ngendlela esabekayo neyakudala. Ngokuqondene nabangane abahle, sithambekele ekutholeni izinto zikhanga ngokwengeziwe lapho sizihlobanisa nokunye esikuthandayo. Lokhu kuzochaza ukuthi kungani uthola i-barista ehlala ikunikeza i-espresso eyengeziwe ekuseni imnandi kakhulu. (Ungayikhetha Inhlansi Ngobudlelwano Obuqinile?)

Sifundani? Ungumnikazi wohlobo lwakho. Ukukhanga kungokomuntu siqu ngakho-ke hamba uyofuna umuntu wena thola ukuheha futhi ukhohlwe ukuthi abangane bakho bayavuma noma cha.

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