Umhlahlandlela Wabaqalayo We-Surrogate Partner Therapy

-Delile

• Kwenzenjani?
• Ngubani ongazuza?
• Isebenza kanjani?
• Ingabe lokhu kuyinto efanayo nokwelashwa kocansi?
• Ngabe abenza ucansi ngokwesini?
• Uxhumeka kanjani nge-surrogate?
• Kusemthethweni?
• Umuntu uba kanjani yisivumelwano sozakwethu?
• Okubalulekile

Sifaka imikhiqizo esicabanga ukuthi ilusizo kubafundi bethu. Uma uthenga ngezixhumanisi ezikuleli khasi, singathola ikhomishini encane. Nansi inqubo yethu.

Uyazi ukuthi luyini ucansi, futhi kungenzeka ukuthi uke wezwa ngegama elithi “ukumela ngokwesivumelwano,” okungenani uma kubhekiselwa ezinganeni nasezizalweni. Kepha uma ushaya lawo magama womabili ndawonye uyathanda "???" awuwedwa.

Iningi labantu alazi ukuthi ama-surrogate wezocansi ayini.

Futhi iningi elicabanga ukuthi linalo indlela akulungile, ngokusho kukaJenni Skyler, PhD, LMFT, kanye no-AASECT owelapha ngezocansi, isazi sezocansi, kanye nomelaphi womndeni onelayisense we-AdamEve.com.

"Akuyona into enhle abantu abaningi abacabanga ukuthi iyiyona."

Yingakho kube khona ukugcizelelwa kokuqala ukubizwa ngokuthi yi-surrogate partner therapy "esikhundleni salokho, kusho uMark Shattuck, ophethwe ngumlingani oqinisekisiwe futhi ongusihlalo wezindaba ne-International Professional Surrogate Association (IPSA).

Ngokomongo, i-IPSA yaziwa njengegunya eliholayo ekuzameni ngokocansi kanye nasekwelashweni komlingani ngokwesivumelwano kusukela ngo-1973.

Kwenzenjani?

Ukwelashwa komlingani ngokwesivumelwano, njengoba kuchazwe yi-IPSA, ubuhlobo obukwelapha ngezindlela ezintathu phakathi komelaphi onelayisense, iklayenti, kanye nomuntu onqunyelwe ngokwesivumelwano ozakwethu.

Yenzelwe ukusiza iklayenti likhululeke ngokwengeziwe ngokusondelana, inkanuko, ubulili nobulili, kanye nomzimba walo.

Ngenkathi lobu budlelwano can ukuthuthuka nganoma yiluphi uhlobo lomelaphi onelayisense, uShattuck uthi imvamisa nomelaphi wezocansi.

Uyanezela ukuthi abelaphi bezocansi bavame ukuvuleleka kakhudlwana emsebenzini wokuthola omunye umuntu ukwedlula abelaphi bendabuko abaningi.

Ngakho-ke, yini ngokwesivumelwano umlingani, ngqo?

“Uchwepheshe osebenzisa ukuthinta, ukuphefumula, ukucabangisisa, ukuzivocavoca umzimba, nokuqeqesha amakhono ezenhlalo ukusiza iklayenti ukuhlangabezana nezinhloso zalo zokwelashwa,” kuchaza uShattuck.

Kwesinye isikhathi - uthi kokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe kumayelana namaphesenti ayi-15 kuye kwangama-20 esikhathi - ukwamukelwa ngokwesivumelwano komlingani kuhlanganisa ukuya ocansini. "Kodwa lokho konke kuya ngodaba iklayenti elisebenza ngalo," usho kanje.

Inhloso yakho konke lokhu? Ukunikeza iklayenti indawo ephephile yokuhlola nokwenza ukuzijwayeza nobulili endaweni ehlelekile.

Inothi elibalulekile: Akukaze kube yilapho umelaphi ebuka noma ebandakanyeka ngqo kulokho okwenzekayo phakathi kokumelwa ngokwesivumelwano komlingani neklayenti.

"Ikhasimende lihlangana nomlingani walo ngokwesivumelwano ngokwehlukana," kuchaza uShattuck. Kepha iklayenti linikeza umeluleki nomlingani wabo ukuba benze ilambu eliluhlaza ukuze bakhulume omunye nomunye ngenqubekela phambili yabo.

"Umelaphi, iklayenti, kanye nomlingani wokumela omunye umuntu ukuxhumana kahle futhi imvamisa kuyinto ebalulekile ekuphumeleleni ukwelashwa kozakwethu ngokwesivumelwano," esho.

Ngubani ongazuza?

Empeleni awukwazi ukufinyelela kwi-surrogate yozakwethu ngaphandle kokuba usuvele unelayisense onelayisense, ngokusho kukaShattuck.

Ngakho-ke, ngokuvamile, uthi, "umuntu oqala ukusebenza nomlingani ngokwesivumelwano ubesele ekwelashweni kwezocansi izinyanga ezimbalwa noma iminyaka embalwa futhi usenomsebenzi omningi okufanele awenze ngokuzizwa ekhululekile ngocansi, ukusondelana, ukujola nomzimba wakhe . ”

Izinkinga ezingashukumisa iklayenti ukuthi ziphakamise ukuthi zifaka umuntu ozakwethu ongena esikhundleni sakhe sokuphulukisa - noma umelaphi wezocansi asikisele okufanayo kwiklayenti - kusuka ekukhathazekeni komphakathi okujwayelekile kuya kokunye ukuhlukunyezwa ngokocansi noma ukwesaba.

Abanye abantu abangazuza emandleni okuphulukisa wokuthola omunye umuntu abalingani bahlanganisa:

• abasinde ekuhlukumezekeni nasekuhlukunyezweni
• abantu abanolwazi oluncane noma abangenalo nhlobo ngokocansi
• abanikazi bepipi abane-erectile dysfunction noma i-ejaculation yokuqala
• abanikazi bezitho zangasese abane-vaginismus, noma okunye ukungasebenzi kahle kwe-pelvic okungenza ucansi lokungena lube buhlungu
• abantu abalwa nokwamukelwa komzimba noma i-dysmorphia yomzimba
• abantu abanokukhathazeka noma ukwesaba ikakhulukazi ezocansi, ukusondelana, nokuthinta
• abantu abakhubazekile abenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuya ocansini

Ngeshwa, ngoba izinqubomgomo eziningi zomshuwalense azibandakanyi ukwelashwa kwe-surrogacy partner (noma i-sex therapy, ngalokho), abantu abaningi abangazuza kule ndlela yokuphulukisa abakwazi ukuyikhokhela.

Iseshini eyodwa imvamisa ibiza noma yikuphi kusuka ku- $ 200 kuya ku- $ 400 ephaketheni.

Isebenza kanjani?

Lapho nje wena nodokotela wakho senithathe isinqumo sokuthi ukwelashwa ngophathina ngokwesivumelwano kungakuzuzisa, umelaphi wakho wezocansi angathinta inethiwekhi yabo yama-surrogate abalingani ukuze akusize uthole umdlalo ongahle ube khona.

Bangaphinde baxhumane noMxhumanisi Wokudluliselwa Kwe-IPSA ukuze bathole usizo ekutholeni uzakwethu onobubele, oqeqeshwe kahle, oqinisekisiwe ozimela ngokweqile ohlangabezana nezidingo zakho.

UShattuck ubiza ukuthi kulezi zinsuku iningi lama-surrogate ophathina banamapulatifomu ezokuxhumana eziku-inthanethi nakwezokuxhumana, ngakho-ke uma ukhubeka kowenzelwa omunye umuntu ocabanga ukuthi angakulungela wena, veza nodokotela wakho wezocansi.

Kepha ukuze usebenze nalawo wesivumelwano somlingani othile, umelaphi wakho wobulili nalowo ozomela omunye kuzodingeka asayine.

Ukusuka lapho, "umxhasi weklayenti kanye nozakwethu bazohlangana ukuze banqume ukuthi ilungile yini noma cha," kusho uShattuck.

Umhlangano wokuqala wenzeka ehhovisi lomelaphi wezocansi, kepha yonke imihlangano elandelayo yenzeka kwenye indawo - imvamisa isehhovisi lesivumelwano, noma ekhaya lekhasimende.

"Ukulingana kahle" akunqunywa yizinto ezifana nokuthi uheheke kanjani kumuntu okumela omunye umuntu, kodwa kunalokho ngokuzizwa sengathi ungakwazi (noma ekugcineni ungabethemba).

Imvamisa, umeluleki ngokwesivumelwano nomelaphi wezocansi basebenza ndawonye ukuletha uhlelo lokwelashwa olususelwa ezinhlosweni zakho. Ngemuva kwalokho, wena nozakwenu ngokwesivumelwano nizosebenza ngokubambisana niqonde leyo njongo.

Izinto uhlelo lokwelashwa olungafaka phakathi:

• ukubheka iso
• ukuzindla
• ukugxila kokuqonda
• izivivinyo zokuphefumula
• ukwakheka komzimba
• indlela eyodwa noma ubunqunu bobabili
• ukuthinta okukodwa noma okubili (ngenhla noma ngaphansi kwezingubo)
• ukuya ocansini (kuqondiswa yimikhuba yezocansi ephephile)

“Akukho njalo, noma ngisho imvamisa, ukuhlangana phakathi komlingani ngokwesivumelwano nomthengi, kodwa uma kukhona, sigxila ekwakheni isisekelo esisondelene kuqala, ”kusho uShattuck.

Ukwelashwa kozakwethu ngokwesivumelwano akuyona into eyodwa neyenziwe.

“Sisebenza ndawonye kanye ngesonto noma iklayenti lize lifinyelele ezinhlosweni zalo. Kwesinye isikhathi lokho kuthatha izinyanga, kwesinye isikhathi kuthatha iminyaka, ”usho kanje.

"Uma nje iklayenti selizifinyelele izinhloso zalo, siba nezikhathi ezimbalwa zokuvala bese sizithumela emhlabeni wangempela!"

Ingabe lokhu kuyinto efanayo nokwelashwa kocansi?

Lapho kungenzeka kube nokugqagqana okuthile, kepha ukwelashwa kozakwethu ngokwesivumelwano akukhona ukwelashwa ngokocansi.

“Bayimikhakha ehluke ngokuphelele,” kusho uSkyler.

"Ukwelashwa ngocansi luhlobo lwezokwelapha olusiza umuntu noma umbhangqwana ukuba akhe kabusha imiyalezo engemihle kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho ukuze abasize bakhe impilo yezocansi nobudlelwano," esho.

Ngenkathi amaklayenti ngezikhathi ezithile engaba nomsebenzi wesandla - ngokwesibonelo, ukushaya indlwabu, ukubuka izithombe ezingcolile, noma ukwenza u-Yebo, Cha, Mhlawumbe uhlu - ukwelashwa kocansi kuyindlela yokwelapha yokukhuluma.

"Akukho ukuxhumana phakathi kwezokwelapha kanye neklayenti," kusho uSkyler.

Ukwelashwa kozakwethu ngokwesivumelwano lapho umelaphi wezocansi ecela omunye uchwepheshe - umeluleki wozakwethu oqinisekisiwe - ukuba nobudlelwano ngokomzimba, ngokocansi, noma ngokuthandana neklayenti labo ngaphandle wezikhathi zokwelashwa kocansi.

Ngabe abenza ucansi ngokwesini?

"Ngenkathi sibasekela abathengisa ngomzimba, asizibheki njengabathengisa ngomzimba," kusho uShattuck. "Sizibheka njengabaxhumanisi abelaphi nabelaphi."

Kwesinye isikhathi kunezinto ezithinta inkanuko nezocansi ezibandakanyeka ekuzameni ngokocansi, kepha inhloso ukuphulukisa - hhayi ukukhululwa ngokocansi noma injabulo.

Lesi sifaniso, ukuhlonishwa ngomlingani ozinikezele uCheryl Cohen Greene, singasiza:

Ukuya kumuntu osebenza ngocansi kufana nokuya endaweni yokudlela kanokusho. Ukhetha lokho ofuna ukukudla kwimenyu, futhi uma uthanda okudlile, uzobuya futhi.

Ukusebenza nomlingani wesivumelwano kufana nokuthatha isigaba sokupheka. Uyahamba, uyafunda, bese uthatha okufundile bese uya ekhaya uyophekela omunye umuntu ukudla…

Uxhumeka kanjani nge-surrogate?

Imvamisa, umelaphi wakho wezocansi uzokwethula. Kepha ungasebenzisa le IPSA Surrogate Locator ukuthola umuntu ozamela omunye umuntu endaweni yakho.

Kusemthethweni?

Umbuzo omuhle. Kubantu abaningi base-United States, ukukhokhela ucansi akukho emthethweni. Kepha ukuzimela ngokwesivumelwano kozakwethu akufani - noma okungenani akunjalo njalo ngokufana - ngokukhokhela ucansi.

"Awukho umthetho owenqabela ukwenza lokhu," kusho uShattuck. "Kodwa futhi awukho umthetho othi lokhu kulungile."

Ngamanye amagama, i-surrogacy yomlingani iwela endaweni empunga esemthethweni.

Kepha, ngokusho kukaShattuck, i-IPSA ibineminyaka engaphezu kwengu-45 ikhona futhi ayikaze imangalelwe.

Umuntu uba kanjani yisivumelwano sozakwethu?

"Umuntu omela ucansi unendima ebaluleke kakhulu kwiklayenti eliyidingayo, kodwa abadingi ukuqeqeshwa kwezemfundo noma kwemitholampilo kwezengqondo," kusho uSkylar.

Ngabe lokho kusho ukuthi noma ngubani uba yisivumelwano somlingani? Cha.

"Labo abasebenza ngokwesivumelwano kumele badlule ohlelweni lokuziphatha nokuqinisekisa umzimba, njenge-IPSA," esho.

Ngokusho kukaShattuck (ukuphinda, oqinisekiswe yi-IPSA), ukuba yisivumelwano sikazakwethu kuyinqubo ebandakanyeke kahle.

"Kunenqubo yokuqeqeshwa yamaviki amaningi, bese kuba nenqubo yokufunda lapho usebenza ngaphansi kozakwethu oqinisekisiwe, bese kuthi uma / lapho uthathwa njengolungele ukuzimela ngokwakho njengozakwethu oqinisekisiwe ozitholela omunye umuntu, uyakwenza lokho."

I-IPSA ibiza lokho kududuza ngomzimba womuntu kanye nezocansi, imfudumalo, uzwelo, uzwela, ubuhlakani, kanye nemibono yokungalahli ukukhetha kwabanye indlela yokuphila, imisebenzi yezocansi evumayo, kanye nokuziphatha ngocansi konke okuyizidingo zokuqala ukuba ngumlingani ngokwesivumelwano.

Okubalulekile

Kubantu okusondelene nabo, ubulili, umzimba wabo, kanye nokuthinta kwabo kungumthombo wokukhathazeka, ukwesaba, ingcindezi, noma ukukhathazeka, ukusebenza eqenjini elinomelaphi (wezocansi) nophethwe ngumlingani kungaphulukisa ngokumangazayo.

UGabrielle Kassel ungumbhali wezocansi nowezempilo ozinze eNew York noMqeqeshi weCrossFit Level 1. Ube ngumuntu wasekuseni, uvivinye ama-vibrator angaphezu kwama-200, futhi wadliwa, wadakwa, futhi wahluzwa ngamalahle - konke egameni lobuntatheli. Ngesikhathi sakhe samahhala, angatholakala efunda izincwadi zokuzisiza namanoveli othando, ukucindezela ibhentshi, noma ukudansa kwepali. Mlandele ku-Instagram.