Ungazibona Kanjani Izimpawu Zokuhlukumeza Ingqondo Nemizwelo

-Delile

• Ukuthotshiswa, ukunganakwa, ukugxeka
• Ukulawula nehlazo
• Ukumangalela, ukusola, nokuphika
• Ukunganakwa ngokomzwelo nokuzihlukanisa
• Ukuzimela
• Okufanele ngikwenze

Ukubuka konke

Cishe uyazi izimpawu eziningi ezisobala zokuhlukunyezwa ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo. Kepha uma uphakathi kwakho, kungaba lula ukuphuthelwa yimikhuba ephikelelayo yokuziphatha okuhlukumezayo.

Ukuhlukunyezwa ngokwengqondo kubandakanya imizamo yomuntu yokwesabisa, yokukulawula noma yokukuhlukanisa. Kungamazwi nezenzo zomhlukumezi, kanye nokuphikelela kwabo kulezi zindlela zokuziphatha.

Umhlukumezi kungaba ngumlingani wakho noma omunye umuntu othandana naye. Bangaba umlingani wakho webhizinisi, umzali, noma umphathi.

Akunandaba ukuthi ungubani, awukufanele futhi akulona iphutha lakho. Qhubeka ufunde ukuze ufunde kabanzi, kufaka phakathi ukuthi ungakubona kanjani nokuthi yini ongayenza ngokulandelayo.

Ukuthotshiswa, ukunganakwa, ukugxeka

Lawa maqhinga enzelwe ukudicilela phansi ukuzethemba kwakho. Ukuhlukumeza okunokhahlo futhi akupheli ezindabeni ezinkulu nezincane.

Nazi izibonelo:

• Ukubizwa ngamagama. Bazokubiza ngokusobala ukuthi "uyisiphukuphuku," "wehlulekile," noma amagama amabi kakhulu ukuthi ungawaphinda lapha.
• “Amagama ezilwane” ahlambalazayo. Lokhu kumane nje kungukubiza amagama ngokufihla okungacashile. "Idokodo lami elincane" noma "Ithanga lami eliqobayo" akuyona imigomo yothando.
• Ukubulawa komlingiswa. Lokhu ngokuvamile kuhilela igama elithi “njalo.” Uhlala wephuzile njalo, uyiphutha, uyaphambana, awuvumelani, njalonjalo. Ngokuyisisekelo, bathi awuyena umuntu olungile.
• Ukumemeza. Ukumemeza, ukumemeza, nokufunga kuhloselwe ukwesabisa futhi kukwenze uzizwe umncane futhi ungabalulekile. Kungahle kuhambisane nokushaya isibhakela noma ukuphonsa izinto.
• Ukusekela. “Awu, sweetie, ngiyazi ukuthi uyazama, kodwa lokhu kungaphezu kokuqonda kwakho.”
• Ukuphoxeka emphakathini. Bakhetha ukulwa, baveze izimfihlo zakho, noma bahlekise ngamaphutha akho phambi kwabantu.
• Ukuxoshwa. Ubatshela ngokuthile okubalulekile kuwe futhi bathi akulutho. Ulimi lomzimba njengokukhipha iso, ukuncibilika, ukunikina ikhanda, nokububula kusiza ukuhambisa umyalezo ofanayo.
• "Ngiyadlala." Amahlaya angaba nenhlamvu yeqiniso kubo noma abe imbumbulu ephelele. Kunoma ikuphi, bakwenza ubukeke uyisiwula.
• I-Sarcasm. Imvamisa nje ukumba ngokufihla. Uma uphikisa, bathi bebeklolodela futhi bekutshela ukuthi uyeke ukuthatha yonke into ngokungathi sína kangako.
• Izinhlamba zokubukeka kwakho. Bayakutshela, ngaphambi nje kokuba uphume, ukuthi izinwele zakho zimbi noma ukuthi ingubo yakho iwubukhazikhazi.
• Ukululaza okufezile. Umhlukumezi wakho angakutshela ukuthi impumelelo yakho ayisho lutho, noma bangaze bathi yibo abaphumelela empumelelweni yakho.
• Beka phansi izinto ozithandayo. Bangakutshela ukuthi umdlalo wakho wokuchitha isizungu wukuchitha isikhathi kwengane noma uphumile kuligi yakho uma udlala imidlalo. Ngempela, kungukuthi bakhetha ukuthi ungabambiqhaza emisebenzini ngaphandle kwabo.
• Ukuphusha izinkinobho zakho. Uma umhlukumezi wakho esazi ngento ethize ekucasulayo, bazoyiveza noma bayenze njalo lapho bethola khona.

Ukulawula nehlazo

Ukuzama ukukwenza ube namahloni ngokungafaneleki kwakho kungenye indlela eya emandleni.

Amathuluzi omdlalo wehlazo nokulawula afaka:

• Izinsongo. Ukutshela ukuthi bazothatha izingane futhi banyamalale, noma bathi "Akukho okutshelwayo engingakwenza."
• Ukuqapha ukuthi ukuphi. Bafuna ukwazi ukuthi ukuphi ngaso sonke isikhathi futhi bafuna ukuthi uphendule izingcingo noma imibhalo ngokushesha. Bangase bavele ukuze babone ukuthi ukhona lapho okufanele ube khona.
• Ukuhlola kwedijithali. Bangabheka umlando wakho we-inthanethi, ama-imeyili, imibhalo, kanye nelogi lwamakholi. Bangaze bafune ngisho namaphasiwedi akho.
• Ukwenza izinqumo okuhlangene. Bangavala i-akhawunti yasebhange ngokuhlanganyela, bakhansele ukuqokwa kukadokotela wakho, noma bakhulume nomphathi wakho ngaphandle kokucela.
• Ukulawulwa kwezezimali. Bangagcina ama-akhawunti asebhange ngegama labo kuphela futhi bakwenze ucele imali. Ungalindelwa ukuthi uphendule ngayo yonke imali oyisebenzisayo.
• Ukufundisa. Ukubamba amaphutha akho ngama-monologue amade kukwenza kucace ukuthi bacabanga ukuthi ungaphansi kwawo.
• Ama-oda aqondile. Kusukela kokuthi “Beka isidlo sami setafula manje” kuya “Uyeke ukuphuza iphilisi,” imiyalo kulindeleke ukuthi ilandelwe yize izinhlelo zakho ziphikisana nalokho.
• Ukuqhuma. Utshelwe ukuthi ukhansele lokho kuphuma nomngani wakho noma ufake imoto egalaji, kepha akwenzekanga, ngakho-ke manje kufanele ubekezelele i-tirade enobuso obomvu mayelana nokuthi awubambisani kanjani.
• Ukuphatha njengengane. Bayakutshela ukuthi ugqokani, uzodlani nokuthi ungadla malini, noma obani abangane obabonayo.
• Kufakwe ukungabi nasizo. Bangathi abazi ukuthi bangenza kanjani okuthile. Kwesinye isikhathi kuba lula ukuzenzela wena kunokuchaza. Bayakwazi lokhu futhi bayakusebenzisa.
• Ukungacabangi. Zizoqhuma ngentukuthelo ngokungazelele, ngokuzumayo zikugeze ngothando, noma zibe mnyama futhi ziguquguquke ekuthoneni kwesigqoko ukuze uhlale uhamba kumagobolondo amaqanda.
• Baphume bahambe. Esimweni senhlalo, ukuphuma egumbini kukushiye uphethe isikhwama. Ekhaya, kuyithuluzi lokugcina inkinga ingaxazululwa.
• Isebenzisa abanye. Abahlukumezi bangakutshela ukuthi "wonke umuntu" ucabanga ukuthi uyahlanya noma "bonke bathi" unephutha.

Ukumangalela, ukusola, nokuphika

Lokhu kuziphatha kuvela ekungaqiniseki komhlukumezi. Bafuna ukudala isigaba sabaphathi lapho phezulu futhi wena ungaphansi.

Nazi izibonelo:

• Umona. Bakusola ngokudlala ngothando noma ukubakhohlisa.
• Ukuguqula amatafula. Bathi ubangela izinkinga zabo zokufutheka nokulawula ngokuba yizinhlungu ezinjalo.
• Ukuphika okuthile okwaziyo kuyiqiniso. Umhlukumezi uzokuphika ukuthi kwaqubuka ingxabano noma isivumelwano. Lokhu kubizwa ngokuthi ukukhanyisa ngegesi. Kwenzelwe ukukwenza ubuze inkumbulo yakho nokuhlanzeka kwengqondo.
• Ukusebenzisa icala. Bangasho into efana nokuthi, “Ungikweleta lokhu. Bheka konke engikwenzele kona, ”emzameni wokuthola indlela yabo.
• Iyahamba bese isola. Abahlukumezi bayazi ukuthi bangakucasula kanjani. Kepha uma inkinga iqala, kuyiphutha lakho ukuyidala.
• Ukuphika ukuhlukunyezwa kwabo. Lapho ukhononda ngokuhlaselwa kwabo, abahlukumezi bayokuphika lokho, kubonakala sengathi badidekile uma becabanga ngakho.
• Ukumangalela ngokuhlukumeza. Bathi nguwe onenkinga yokuthukuthela nokulawula futhi bayisisulu esingenakuzisiza.
• Ukunciphisa. Lapho ufuna ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakho ebuhlungu, bakusola ngokuthatha ngokweqile nokwenza izintaba ngezintaba zamangqamuzana.
• Ukusho ukuthi awunamancoko. Abahlukumezi benza amahlaya abo ngawe. Uma uphikisa, bazokutshela ukuthi ukhanyise.
• Ukukusola ngezinkinga zabo. Noma yini engalungile empilweni yabo yiphutha lakho lonke. Awusekeli ngokwanele, awenzanga ngokwanele, noma unamathisele ikhala lakho lapho bekungekhona khona.
• Ukubhubhisa nokuphika. Bangase baqhekeze isikrini sakho sefoni noma "balahlekelwe" okhiye bemoto yakho, bese beyiphika.

Ukunganakwa ngokomzwelo nokuzihlukanisa

Abahlukumezi bavame ukubeka izidingo zabo ezingokomzwelo ngaphambi kwezakho. Abahlukumezi abaningi bazozama ukungena phakathi kwakho nabantu abakusekelayo ukuze wenze uthembele kubo.

Benza lokhu ngo:

• Ukufuna inhlonipho. Akukho okuncane okubonakalayo okuzojeziswa, futhi kulindeleke ukuthi uhlehlise kubo. Kepha kungumgwaqo obheke ngasendleleni eyodwa.
• Kuvalwa ukuxhumana. Bazoyishaya indiva imizamo yakho yokuxoxa mathupha, ngokuthumela umbhalo, noma ngocingo.
• Ukwenza ubuntu bakho. Bazobheka eceleni uma ukhuluma noma babheke kokunye lapho bekhuluma nawe.
• Kukugcina ungazihlanganisi nabantu. Noma nini lapho unezinhlelo zokuphuma, ziza nokuthikamezeka noma zikunxuse ukuthi ungahambi.
• Izama ukungena phakathi kwakho nomndeni wakho. Bazotshela amalungu omndeni ukuthi awufuni ukuwabona noma wenze izaba zokuthi kungani ungakwazi ukuya emicimbini yomndeni.
• Uthando olugodlayo. Ngeke zikuthinte, ngisho nokukubamba ngesandla noma ukukumbambatha ehlombe. Bangase benqabe ukuya ocansini ukuze bajeziswe noma bakwenze wenze okuthile.
• Ukukushumayeza. Bazokundizela phezulu, bashintshe isihloko, noma nje bangakunaki lapho ufuna ukukhuluma ngobudlelwano bakho.
• Ukusebenza ngenkuthalo ukuguqula abanye bakuhlubuke. Bazotshela osebenza nabo, abangani, ngisho nomndeni wakho ukuthi awuzinzile futhi uthambekele ekuhlanyelweni.
• Ukukushayela uswele. Uma uphansi ngempela futhi uphuma futhi ufinyelela ukwesekwa, bazokutshela ukuthi udinga kakhulu noma umhlaba awukwazi ukuyeka ukuphendukela ezinkingeni zakho ezincane.
• Ukuphazamisa. Usecingweni noma uthumela imiyalezo futhi bangena ebusweni bakho ukukwazisa ukuthi ukunaka kwakho kufanele kube kubo.
• Ukunganaki. Bakubona ulimele noma ukhala ungenzi lutho.
• Ukuphikisa imizwa yakho. Noma ngabe uzizwa kanjani, bazothi unephutha ukuzizwa ngaleyo ndlela noma lokho akuyona ngempela into oyizwayo nhlobo.

Ukuzimela

Ubudlelwano bokuzimela kulapho yonke into oyenzayo isabela ekuphatheni komuntu okuhlukumezayo. Futhi bakudinga kakhulu nje ukukhulisa ukuzethemba kwabo. Ukhohliwe ukuthi ungaba kanjani ngenye indlela. Kungumjikelezo ononya wokuziphatha okungenampilo.

Ungahle uthembeke uma:

• abajabule ebudlelwaneni, kepha wesaba ezinye izindlela
• ungazinaki izidingo zakho ngenxa yazo
• shisa abangane futhi ubeke eceleni umndeni wakho ukujabulisa umlingani wakho
• funa njalo imvume yomlingani wakho
• uzihlolisise ngamehlo omhlukumezi wakho, ungazinaki izifiso zakho
• nikela ngokuzidela okuningi ukujabulisa omunye umuntu, kodwa akubuyiswanga
• ngingahlala endaweni yesiyaluyalu samanje kunokuba ngibe ngedwa
• luma ulimi lwakho futhi ucindezele imizwa yakho ukugcina ukuthula
• uzizwe unesibopho futhi uthathe icala lokuthile abakwenzile
• vikela umhlukumezi wakho lapho abanye bekhombisa ukuthi kwenzekani
• zama “ukubasindisa” kubo
• uzizwe unecala uma uzimela
• ucabanga ukuthi ufanele le mpatho
• kholwa ukuthi akekho omunye umuntu ongafuna ukuba nawe
• shintsha indlela oziphatha ngayo uphendula icala; umhlukumezi wakho uthi, "Angikwazi ukuhlala ngaphandle kwakho," ngakho-ke hlala

Okufanele ngikwenze

Uma uhlukunyezwa ngokwengqondo nangokomzwelo, thembela imizwa yakho. Yazi ukuthi akulungile futhi akudingeki uphile ngale ndlela.

Uma wesaba udlame olusheshayo lomzimba, shayela ku-911 noma abezimo eziphuthumayo zasendaweni yakho.

Uma ungekho engozini ngokushesha futhi udinga ukukhuluma noma ukuthola enye indawo ongaya kuyo, shayela Inombolo Kazwelonke Yokuhlukunyezwa Kwasekhaya ku-800-799-7233. Le nombolo yamahhala engu-24/7 ingakuxhumanisa nabahlinzeki besevisi nezindawo zokukhosela kulo lonke elase-United States.

Ngaphandle kwalokho, ukukhetha kwakho kweza ngokuqondene nesimo sakho. Nakhu ongakwenza:

• Yamukela ukuthi ukuhlukunyezwa akulona isibopho sakho. Ungazami ukubonisana nomhlukumezi wakho. Ungahle ufune ukusiza, kepha akunakwenzeka ukuthi bazokwephula le ndlela yokuziphatha ngaphandle kokwelulekwa ngokomsebenzi. Lokho kungumsebenzi wabo.
• Nqamula futhi usethe imingcele yomuntu siqu. Nquma ukuthi ngeke uphendule ekuhlukunyezweni noma ungene ezingxabanweni. Namathela kuyo. Nciphisa ukuvezwa komhlukumezi ngangokunokwenzeka.
• Phuma ebudlelwaneni noma ezimeni. Uma kungenzeka, sika bonke othayi. Kwenze kucace ukuthi kuphelile futhi ungabheki emuva. Ungase futhi ufune ukuthola umelaphi ongakukhombisa indlela enempilo yokuqhubekela phambili.
• Zinike isikhathi sokululama. Finyelela kubangani abasekelayo namalungu omndeni. Uma usesikoleni, khuluma nothisha noma umeluleki wokuqondisa. Uma ucabanga ukuthi kuzosiza, thola umelaphi ongakusiza ekululameni kwakho.

Ukushiya ubudlelwano kuyinkimbinkimbi kakhulu uma ushadile, unezingane, noma unempahla ehlangene. Uma leso kuyisimo sakho, funa usizo lwezomthetho. Nazi ezinye izinsiza ezimbalwa:

• Gqashula Umjikelezo: Ukuxhasa abantu abasha abaphakathi kweminyaka eyi-12 nengama-24 ukwakha ubudlelwano obunempilo nokwakha isiko elingenakho ukuhlukunyezwa.
• I-DomesticShelters.org: Imininingwane yezemfundo, i-hotline, kanye nemininingwane egciniwe yezinsizakalo endaweni yakho.
• Uthando Luhloniphekile (Inombolo Kazwelonke Yokuqomisana Nokuhlukunyezwa Kwezothando): Ukunikeza intsha nentsha abantu abadala ithuba lokuxoxa ku-inthanethi, ukufona, noma ukuthumela imiyalezo nabameli.