Kungani Sidinga Ngempela Ukuyeka Ukubiza Abantu Nge- "Superwomxn"

-Delile

• Inkinga nge "Superwomxn"
• Indlela Yokushintsha Ukulandisa
• Shayela Umsebenzi Ukuthi Kuyini: Sebenza
• Yenza Umsebenzi Ongabonakali Ubonakale
• Qhubeka futhi Ucele Usizo
• Thola Izikhathi Ezengeziwe ze "Me Me"
• Buza Imibuzo Esikhundleni Sokwenza Ukuqagela
• Buyekeza kwe-

Isetshenziswa ezihlokweni.

Isetshenziswa engxoxweni yansuku zonke (umngane/osebenza naye/udadewenu obonakala sengathi *ngandlela thize* wenza konke nokunye okwengeziwe).

Isetshenziselwa ukuchaza ukuthi omama abalinganiselayo abahlale bexosha bavame ukuxosha. ("I-Supermom" isesichazamazwini seMerriam-Webster.)

Njengomama osebenza okokuqala ngqa, ngibe nabantu abaningi abangibiza ngokuthi "superwoman" noma "supermom" onyakeni nesigamu selokhu ngathola indodakazi yami. Futhi angikaze ngazi kahle ukuthi ngithini ekuphenduleni.

Iwuhlobo lwamagama asetshenziswayo abonakala elungile - evumayo. Kodwa ochwepheshe baphakamisa ukuthi empeleni kungaba yinkinga empilweni yengqondo ye-womxn, kukhuthaze umbono ongelona iqiniso, okungukuthi, okungcono kakhulu, ongenakufezeka futhi, okubi kakhulu, olimazayo. (BTW, nakhu okushiwo u-"x" ngamagama anjengokuthi "womxn.")

Lapha, ukuthi amagama athi "superwomxn" kanye "supermom" asho ukuthini, imiphumela abangaba nayo empilweni yengqondo, nezindlela wonke umuntu angasebenza ngazo ukuguqula ukulandisa (futhi, kwehlise umthwalo kubantu abazizwa sengathi badinga ukwenza "konke").

Inkinga nge "Superwomxn"

"Igama elithi 'superwomxn' livame ukunikezwa njengokuncoma," kusho u-Allison Daminger, i-Ph.D. ikhandidethi eNyuvesi yaseHarvard ocwaninga ngezindlela ukungalingani komphakathi okuthinta ngayo amandla omndeni. "Kusikisela ukuthi ungaphezu komuntu ngokomthamo wakho. Kodwa 'kuncoma' izinhlobonhlobo lapho ungenaso isiqiniseko sokuthi uzophendula kanjani; uhlobo olungajwayelekile."

Phela, ngokuvamile kuhlobene nokusingatha umthwalo osindayo “obonakala ungakuthinti ngendlela ebesingalindela ngayo ukuthi abantu abafayo bathinteke,” kuchaza yena.

Futhi kuyinto into enhle leyo?

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma othile esebenzisa igama ukuze akuchaze, ungase uzizwe uziqhenya. "Kuzwakala kumnandi ukubonwa - futhi ngicabanga ukuthi uma abantu bebiza umuntu ngokuthi 'superwomxn' noma 'i-supermom,' basho kahle," kusho uDaminger.

Kodwa futhi kungabeka phezu kwecala. "Kubantu abaningi, ulwazi lwangaphakathi kungenzeka lungazizwa luhle kangako," usho kanje. Funda: Angeke uzizwe sengathi ninakho konke ndawonye - futhi lokho kungase kubangele ukungezwani phakathi kwendlela ukuzwa izinto zihamba ngendlela abanye ngokusobala abakubona ngayo. Ngakho-ke lapho othile ekubiza nge-superwomxn, ungase ucabange, "ngilinde kufanele Nginayo ngaphezulu ndawonye; Kufanele ngikwazi ukwenza konke lokhu," okungase kufinyelele ekucindezelekeni kokwenza okwengeziwe. (Esinye isisho okufanele sicatshangelwe kabusha sisebenzisa? "Quarantine 15" — nakhu ukuthi kungani.)

Uma unconywa isici esithile, kuluhlazo noma kuyamangaza ukuthi kufanele ucele usizo, akunjalo? Ngakho-ke, esikhundleni salokho, uvele uthathe lokho okubizwa ngokuthi ukuncoma bese uqhubeka nokwenza okwenzayo (osekuzwakala sengathi kukhulu kakhulu), futhi manje unomuzwa wokuthi empeleni kufanele ngabe wenza okwengeziwe ukuze ugcwalise ngempela le khwalithi "ye-superwomxn". Futhi "ukukwenza konke" ngaphandle kwezandla ezimbili? Lokho kungase kugcine kukwenze uzizwe wedwa, kuchaza uDaminger.

Futhi, lapho wamukela ngokuthula lokhu "kuncoma" - esikhundleni sokukuphikisa noma ukucela usizo - kulapho ungase uzizwe sengathi udinga ukuqhubeka nesenzo. Futhi ekugcineni, ukuba yi-"superwomxn" kuba ingxenye ebalulekile (funda: hhayi ozikhethela) yobunikazi bakho, kusho uDaminger. "Futhi siyazi ngokwesayensi yezengqondo ukuthi abantu bafuna ukwenza ngezindlela ezihambisana nobunikazi babo - ngisho noma kuwubunikazi obubekwe kuwe abanye," uyabelana.

Kumama, amatemu angafika nengcindezi engashiwongo yokugcina ezingeni elithile lokuba ngumama oqinile, okuyilapho okukhona lapho umama ebonwa (ngabo kanye / noma ngabanye) njengowukuphela komuntu ongamaphesenti ayi-100 ozinikele ekunakekelweni kwengane yakhe, kwesinye isikhathi ngaphambi kwezidingo zabo, wengeza uLucia Ciciolla, Ph.D., uprofesa osizayo e-Oklahoma State University ofunda impilo yengqondo yomama. "Uma i-womxn ikwazile ukuhlanganisa umcimbi omuhle noma ukwenza ishejuli engenakwenzeka - okungenzeka ukuthi ibicindezela kakhulu futhi icindezela amandla abo engqondo noma angokomzimba - babe sebevuzwa ngokuqaphela ukuthi benza okulindelekile. "

Ngokuvamile, ukulandisa kwe-superwomxn kufaka endabeni enkulu yesithombe: ukuthi ukuzama ukufuna ibhalansi - nokwehluleka ukwenza kanjalo - kuyinkinga yomuntu ngamunye, hhayi inkinga enkulu, yomphakathi egxile esikweni lesimanje.

Futhi lokhu kungaba nomthelela ekutubekeni, imizwa yokuhlazeka, nezimo zempilo yengqondo, njengokucindezeleka - konke ngenxa yokungafinyeleli lokho abakulindele noma komphakathi, kuchaza u-Ciciolla. (Okuhlobene: Ungabhekana Kanjani Nokushiswa kukaMama - Ngoba Ufanele Ngempela Ukuwohloka)

"U-Womxn uzibeka icala ngokuhluleka ukuthola ibhalansi - kanti empeleni, uhlelo olumelene nabo - akusilo isisombululo," kusho uDaminger. "Ngizizwa ngijabule ukuthi lolu wudaba oluhleliwe nokuthi sizodinga ushintsho olwandile ezingeni lomgomo womphakathi."

Indlela Yokushintsha Ukulandisa

Vele, uma uzizwa usebenza kakhulu noma sengathi uphiwe uhlu lwezinto okumele zenziwe "ezinamandla angaphezu kwawomuntu", ukulinda izinguquko ezinkulu zamasiko akusizi ukwehlisa umthwalo okwamanje. Yini engase yenzeke? Lokhu kulungiswa okuncane ongakwenza kwimisebenzi yakho yansuku zonke nezingxoxo.

Shayela Umsebenzi Ukuthi Kuyini: Sebenza

Ucwaningo lukaDaminger luhlola kokubili ukusebenza ngokomzimba (imisebenzi efana nokupheka noma ukuhlanza) kanye "nomthwalo wengqondo" (okusho ukukhumbula ukuthi isiliphu semvume siyadingeka noma ukuqaphela isitikha sokubhalisa emotweni siyaphela kungekudala).

"Ukuziphatha okuningi okubizwa nge-womxn ukuthi 'superwomxn' ngokuvamile kuhlobene nomsebenzi wokuqonda ongajwayelekile ukufakwa kubhalansi," usho kanje. "Lezi zinto zinomzamo - zinezindleko ngendlela yesikhathi noma amandla kumuntu ozenzayo - kodwa omunye umsebenzi ubonakala kalula kuneminye." Cabanga: njalo nguwe okumele ukhumbule ukupakisha isikhwama se-diaper noma ukuthi uphelelwe amathawula ephepha. Ungase ungakhulumi ngayo kodwa ucabange ngakho futhi lokho kuyakuqeda amandla.

Ukuze uqiniseke ukuthi wonke umsebenzi wengqondo owenzayo uphelela eshidini lebhalansi? Qala ngokuthola okucacile mayelana nokuthi wenzani (noma ngabe awukwenzi ngokomzimba), uphakamisa. “Kwesinye isikhathi kuba nombono wokuthi uthando nokusebenza akuhambisani,” kusho uDaminger. (Isibonelo: Uma ushaya ucingo kufanele ulandelele yonke into edinga ukupakishwa "umsebenzi" wohambo losuku, lokho kungase kusho ukuthi awukwenzi ngoba uthanda umndeni wakho.)

Kepha iqiniso lodaba ukuthi uku-ID yonke leyomisebenzi ezungeza ekhanda lakho kubalulekile. “Ukubheka umsebenzi ngokwawo, ukuwubiza ngokuthi uyasebenza, nokubona izinhlobo ezahlukene zomsebenzi ngezindlela ezingokwengqondo, ezingokomzwelo nezingokomzimba kususa ukugxila kulo muntu ‘ongaphezu komuntu’ ngekhono lakhe elisekelwe kulokho okwenzeka ngempela,” kusho uDaminger. . Ngamafuphi: Kukusiza - nabanye — bona (bese usabalalisa) umthwalo. (Okuhlobene: Izindlela ezi-6 Engizifunda Ukulawula Ukucindezeleka Njengomama Omusha)

Yenza Umsebenzi Ongabonakali Ubonakale

Umsebenzi womthwalo wengqondo awubonakali kepha kukhona izindlela ze- * zokwenza kubonakale kakhulu. I-Daminger, ngeyodwa, isikisela ukusebenzela emuva: Esikhundleni sokusho ngokuzwakalayo nje ukuthi upheke isidlo sakusihlwa, bhala izinyathelo okufanele zenzeke ukuze kwenzeke lokho (bekufanele wenze uhlu lwegilosa, hlola i-pantry ukubona ukuthi bekukhona yini okukhona, hamba esitolo segrosa, lungisa itafula, hlanza izitsha, uhlu luyaqhubeka). "Lokhu kungaba yindlela yokwenza leyo misebenzi ibonakale," esho. Ukucacisa zonke izinyathelo - zombili ezingokwengqondo nezingokomzimba - ezibandakanyeka emsebenzini ngokuzwakalayo kungasiza abanye ukuthi baqonde okungena emsebenzini owenzayo bese unikeza izwi ezingxenyeni zawo ezingabonakali. Lokhu kungasiza othile (okungukuthi uzakwethu) abone umthwalo wakho kalula kodwa futhi kungakusiza uqonde ukuthi wena kukhona wenza okuningi - futhi ekugcineni kukusize ukuphathisa abanye.

Lapho uzama ukufaka kabusha imisebenzi ngaphakathi kwekhaya lakho? Ungabheki nje umsebenzi obonakalayo, kodwa nawo wonke lowo msebenzi wangemuva, futhi. Esikhundleni sokuphakamisa ukuthi uzakwenu kufanele abe nesibopho "sokupheka isidlo sakusihlwa" phakamisa ukuthi unesibopho "sokudla kwakusihlwa" ngokukhuluma kabanzi - futhi lokho kuhlanganisa konke okuza nokudla. "Ukunikeza ubunikazi bendawo endaweni yomsebenzi othile kungaba yindlela ewusizo yokulinganisa," kusho uDaminger. Hlukanisa yonke imisebenzi yasendlini noma imisebenzi edinga ukwenziwa ngale ndlela, ukuthola ukuthi ngubani obhekele ini.

Qhubeka futhi Ucele Usizo

Ukutshelwa ukuthi uyi-superwomxn futhi uzizwa njengokuthile ngaphandle? “Ukuba qotho ngomzabalazo kungenye yezindlela esingafinyelela ngazo oguqukweni ngokubambisana,” kusho uDaminger.

"Yenza kube lula ukuthi abantu 'abalungile' bacele usizo," kusikisela uCiciolla. "Ukuba nobudlelwano nemiphakathi ehlanganyela kulindelo lokuthi sidinga ukuxhasana kuzosiza ekuthuthukiseni impilo engokwengqondo." Ngemuva kwakho konke, ubudlelwano nokuxhumana kubalulekile enhlalakahleni yethu - ngosizo olusebenzayo, ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo, nokuqinisekiswa ukuthi asisodwa, usho kanje. (Okuhlobene: Okufanele Ukwazi Ngokusekela Impilo Yakho Yengqondo Ngaphambi Naphakathi Nokukhulelwa)

Ukucela usizo - ngisho nangezindlela ezincane, ngaphambi kokuthi uludinge - futhi kusebenza kancane ukuguqula ukulandisa kokuzokwenzeka nokuthi yini okungeyona eyedwa umuntu ngesikhathi. Imodeli yokuba sengozini nokubaluleka kokufuna ukwesekwa nokuxhuma kwabanye, kusho uCiciolla.

Uma othile ekubiza nge- "superwomxn" futhi uzizwa sengathi ulenga ngentambo, qala ingxoxo ngakho ngokusho okuthile okufana nokuthi, "Ukukhuluma iqiniso, ukuphatha izinto eziningi ezahlukahlukene kungaba kuhle kakhulu kwesinye isikhathi." Noma, uma ukwazi, thola izindawo empilweni yakho lapho ungazuza khona kakhulu ekusekelweni okwengeziwe - noma ngabe ukuhlanza noma ukunakekela izingane - futhi ucacise ngokubuza okudingayo.

Thola Izikhathi Ezengeziwe ze "Me Me"

Noma ngabe kuyisigaba semizuzu engu-20 se-yoga noma ukuhamba okulula uzungeze indawo yangakini, ukuthatha ngamabomu isikhathi sokuhlangana futhi uqaphele imizwa yakho kungakusiza wenze izinqumo ezinolwazi ngokuya phambili, kusho uCiciolla. Futhi lokhu, kukhuthaza ukuthi uphendule kunokuba usabele. Ngemuva kwalokho, ungahle ube semkhakheni olinganiselayo ukuze, uthi, ube nengxoxo ekhiqizayo nomlingani wakho noma i-roomie mayelana nemisebenzi yokuhlukanisa ngokulinganayo kunokukhuthaza ukuqhuma ngoba usemlenzeni wakho wokugcina.

Futhi, ukwenza isiqiniseko sokuthi udweba izikhathi zokuzinakekela kungenye yezindlela zokuqeda umqondo wokuhamba, ukukhumbuza wonke umuntu - nawe uqobo lwakho - leso sikhathi sakho siningi kakhulu (uma kungenjalo!) njengesikhathi sakho konke kanye nabo bonke abanye. (Okuhlobene: Ungasenza Kanjani Isikhathi Sokuzinakekela Uma Ungenayo)

Buza Imibuzo Esikhundleni Sokwenza Ukuqagela

Ngokuvamile, lena inqubomgomo enhle: Themba ukuthi wena, njengombukeli wangaphandle, ungabona ingxenye encane yalokho okwenzekayo empilweni yomuntu, kusho uDaminger. "Nakuba ungase uhlatshwe umxhwele ngalokho okwenziwa abangani bakho noma abangani babazali bakho, ukubuza ukuthi yini abayidingayo cishe kusiza kakhulu kunokubatshela nje ukuthi benza umsebenzi omuhle kakhulu."

Awuqinisekile ukuthi uzoqala kuphi? Zama imibuzo elula efana nokuthi, "unjani?" futhi "yini engingayenza ukusiza?" noma "uyaphila?" Ukunikeza abantu isikhala sokuhlanganyela okuhlangenwe nakho kwabo kweqiniso kungaba ukuzelapha kukodwa - futhi ekugcineni kusize ekwenzeni lula umthwalo womunye umuntu. (Okuhlobene: Ongakusho Kothile Ocindezelekile, Ngokusho Kwezazi Zempilo Yengqondo)

Buyekeza kwe-