Inkolelo Yobuntombi: Ake Sicabange Ngocansi NjengeDisneyland

-Delile

• "Futhi ngemuva kokufika kwakhe, ngamnika ama-high-five ngathi, ngezwi likaBatman, 'Umsebenzi omuhle,'" kusho umngani wami, eqeda indaba yakhe okokuqala enza ucansi. Nganginazo zonke izinhlobo zemicabango, kepha ikakhulukazi, ngangifuna ukuthi ulwazi lwami lube njalo.
• Ukukholelwa ekuhlolweni kobuntombi okungenangqondo (nobudlova)
• Ukulimala kwemiyalezo exubile
• Ukuthatha indlela ehlukile: Kanjani vs. nini
• “Izwe Elingeyona Izintombi Zentombi”: Ingabe liyindawo ejabulisa kunazo zonke emhlabeni?

"Futhi ngemuva kokufika kwakhe, ngamnika ama-high-five ngathi, ngezwi likaBatman, 'Umsebenzi omuhle,'" kusho umngani wami, eqeda indaba yakhe okokuqala enza ucansi. Nganginazo zonke izinhlobo zemicabango, kepha ikakhulukazi, ngangifuna ukuthi ulwazi lwami lube njalo.

Ngaphambi kokuthi ngazi ukuthi luyini ucansi, ngangazi ukuthi kukhona izinto abesifazane okwakungafanele bazenze noma babe ngaphambi komshado. Ngiseyingane, ngabona i- "Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls." Kunesigcawu lapho umyeni ephuma ngolaka eqhugwaneni ememeza ukuthi unkosikazi wakhe ubesevele ehlisiwe. Eminyakeni engu-5, ngangazi ukuthi kukhona okubi ayekwenzile.

Ngafunda ngocansi ekamu lesonto, mhlawumbe ngoba kwakulula kubazali bami ukunika omunye umuntu umthwalo wenkulumo. Ebangeni lesishiyagalombili, mina nabangane bami safundiswa ukuthi kungani kufanele silinde kuze kube semshadweni ukuze senze ucansi. Izihloko zifaka phakathi "Ngilindele umuntu okhethekile futhi bekukufanele" nokuthi "Indlela uMfundisi XYZ aluthola ngayo uthando lwempilo yakhe ngokuhlala emsulwa." Lezi zinhloso ezinhle zenze imibono yami yaba mibi kakhulu.

Ukukholelwa ekuhlolweni kobuntombi okungenangqondo (nobudlova)

Ngo-2013, iNkantolo Ephakeme yaseNdiya yagcina yakukhipha ngaphandle kokuhlolwa kweminwe emibili. Ngokusobala, uma udokotela engafaka iminwe emibili ngaphakathi kwesisulu sokudlwengulwa, lokho bekusho ukuthi ubevumile ukuya ocansini. Izwe laseGeorgia lisenesiko elibizwa ngokuthi yenge, lapho umkhwenyana akhombisa khona ishidi eligcwele igazi ezihlotsheni zakhe njengobufakazi bobuntombi.

Lezi zivivinyo zobuntombi zilindeleke kuphela kwabesifazane. Ngenkathi ukuhlolwa ngokomzimba kochwepheshe bezokwelapha kungenzeki ngokusobala eNtshonalanga, sisenemibono yobulili ehlola izingqondo zethu. Bheka nje inganekwane yehubo.

Iminyaka engama-20 yempilo yami ngangikholwa ukuthi iculo laliwuphawu lobuntombi bomuntu. Ukukholelwa kulokhu futhi kwadala konke ebengikulindele ebesinakho maqondana nezocansi - ngize ngabona ividiyo kaLaci Green ethi “You Can not POP Your Cherry” ngo-2012. Kule vidiyo, uGreen ukhuluma ngokuthi liyini leli culo futhi unikeza nezeluleko ngokuya ocansini okokuqala isikhathi.

Ukubuka le vidiyo njengomfundi wasekolishi kungenze ngacabanga kabusha ngezinkolelo ezindala eziningana:

1. Ngabe ngilahlekelwa noma yini uma umaka wobuntombi - iculo elivimba ukungena - empeleni alikho?
2. Uma, ngokwesilinganiso, iculo lingekho njengesithiyo, pho kungani ngikholelwa ukuthi kuyinto evamile okokuqala ukulimala?
3. Kungani ulimi oluzungeze ubuntombi lunodlame kangaka?

Kusona sonke isikole samabanga aphakeme nasekolishi bengilindele isikhathi sokuqala sentombazane ukubandakanya ubuhlungu noma igazi, kepha njengoba iculo lingekho njengesithiyo somzimba, ngokwesayensi, ayikho indlela yokutshela umuntu ukuthi uyintombi nto. Ngakho-ke kungenzeka yini ukuthi siqambe amanga sithi izinhlungu ziyinto ejwayelekile emizameni yokuphoqa abesifazane nemizimba yabo?

Ukulimala kwemiyalezo exubile

Ingxoxo ngobuntombi ibe nemiyalezo exubile. Yebo, kuhlale kunesimo sezepolitiki, inkolo, amasiko, noma ezemfundo, kepha noma kulezo zimo, samukele ithoni enobudlova noma enezinto (noma zombili). Amagama afana nokuthi "ukwehlisa amandla" noma "ukuphuma kwe-cherry yakhe" noma "ukuphula i-hymen yakho" aphonswa ngokunganaki. Abantu bathi "ukulahlekelwa" ubuntombi bakho sengathi kuyinto embi, kepha futhi akukho sivumelwano ngokuthi kusho ukuthini ukulahlekelwa.

Abanye bagxila lapho uya ocansini okokuqala. Omunye uphakamisa ukuthi ukuzwa ucansi kusenesikhathi kunemiphumela emibi kwezempilo yezocansi. Kubuye kuphakamise ukuthi ukuqalwa sekwedlule isikhathi (eneminyaka engama-21 nangaphezulu) nakho kuyaphikisana nesiphetho esenziwe ocwaningweni olwenziwa ngo-2012 yi-University of Texas e-Austin. Ngemuva kokulandela izingane zakwabo bobulili obufanayo eziyi-1,659 kusuka ebusheni kuya ebudaleni, abacwaningi base-UT Austin bathole ukuthi labo abashadile futhi abaya ocansini ngemuva kweminyaka eyi-19 banamathuba amaningi okuthi bajabule ebudlelwaneni babo bebonke nobulili.

Ukuthatha indlela ehlukile: Kanjani vs. nini

Ukulindela okuzungeze "ukulahlekelwa ubuntombi bakho" (okuvame ukwenziwa ngabangani, ukukhuliswa, kanye nokuchayeka kwabezindaba) kuthinta okwenzeka kakhulu kunalokho esikucabangayo. Ngaphezu kwesikhathi esisodwa, abangani bangitshele ukuthi, "Isikhathi sokuqala ngaso sonke isikhathi kuyamunca." Ngemuva kokuba umngani wami engitshele ukuthi “wabulahla” kanjani ubuntombi bakhe (isigameko esihlekisayo esiphetha ngabaphezulu kwabahlanu), ngazizwa nginomona. Wayezethemba futhi engathandeki. Nami, bengifuna ukugwema ukulandisa okudala "okunamathiselwe ngemuva kocansi".

Wabuye wabelana ngokuthi udokotela wezifo zabesifazane wethukile ngesimo sowesifazane sangasese. Kwakudabukile futhi kubuhlungu amasonto amabili, engangicabanga ukuthi kujwayelekile ngaleso sikhathi ngoba ngangicabanga ukuthi ubuntombi buyisithiyo somzimba. Mhlawumbe bekufanele atshele umlingani wakhe ngokuba yintombi nto, kepha ubuntombi abuzange bubaluleke kuye - noma ngabe kumongo wempilo yakhe noma ngabe bekufanele kushintshe indlela amphathe ngayo (ucansi olubi alufanele lube yilo- ngaphandle kwemvume). Izeluleko zakhe kimi: “Qiniseka ukuthi udakiwe uma uya ocansini okokuqala. Kukusiza ukuthi ukhululeke ukuze kungalimazi kangako. ”

Akufanele kube yiseluleko abona kungcono ukusinikeza. Kepha bekuyikho, ngenxa yenganekwane yobuntombi. Konke ayekufuna, njengomngane omuhle, kwakuzoqinisekisa ukuthi anginakho okuhlangenwe nakho okufana nokwakhe.

Mhlawumbe kungenxa yokuthi asivamile ukubhekana Kanjani kufanele sizizwe ngezocansi ngokujwayelekile ngaphambi kocansi ukuthi kwenzeke nokuthi abesifazane baduke kakhulu kulokho abakulindele. Olunye ucwaningo lwabheka ukuqaliswa kobulili obuhlukile futhi lwathola ukuthi abesifazane ababenelisekile ngokwengqondo ngesikhathi sabo sokuqala nabo bazizwa bengenacala. Baveze ukuthi ukwakha ubudlelwano bezocansi nokunakekelwa nokwethembana kuletha ukwaneliseka okukhulu kubantu abaneminyaka engu-18 kuya kwengama-25 ubudala.

Ukuba nokulandisa okungahambelani okusukela ezikhathini zangemva komshado kuya olimini olunodlame "lokugqekeza" kungalimaza okulindelwe noma okuhlangenwe nakho kwanoma ngubani, okokuqala noma cha.

Olunye ucwaningo libuze abafundi abangama-331 abafundela phansi mayelana nesikhathi sokuqala abaya ngaso ocansini nokusebenza kwabo kwamanje kwezocansi. Bathola ukuthi abantu ababenokuhlangenwe nakho okuhle okokuqala okokuqala banamazinga aphezulu okwaneliseka. Okushiwo ukuthi yize isipiliyoni sakho sokuqala sobulili siyingqophamlando yokuphila, sisengakha indlela owenza ngayo futhi ubuke ngayo iminyaka yocansi phansi.

Eminye imizwa engicabanga ukuthi kufanele ifundiswe? Kunjani ukuzizwa uvikelekile. Khululeka. Ukujabula. Injabulo ngoba uthola ulwazi, hhayi ukulahlekelwa ubunikazi.

“Izwe Elingeyona Izintombi Zentombi”: Ingabe liyindawo ejabulisa kunazo zonke emhlabeni?

Ngenkathi ngiqala ukukhuluma ukuthi ngiyintombi nto kulo mfana ozoba ngowami wokuqala, wathi, "Hawu, ngakho-ke uyi-unicorn." Kodwa ngangingekho. Angikaze ngibe njalo. Kungani abantu bebhala ubuntombi ngendlela eyenza abantu bazizwe bengafunwa ngemuva kokuqala?

Njenge “nyathi,” ikakhulukazi ngangizizwa ngididekile ngoba abantu ngokusobala babengifuna. Intombi eneminyaka engama-25 kwakufanele ibe yinto eyingqayizivele nengavamile, kepha futhi nokugcinwa kwesikhathi eside kakhulu. Futhi lapho ngigcina ngiya ocansini, ngabona (futhi mhlawumbe naye wenza kanjalo) ukuthi wonke umuntu empeleni uyihhashi nje. Ngakho-ke masikhohlwe isingathekiso se-unicorn ngoba ama-unicorn ayizinganekwane nje, futhi.

Uyazi ukuthi yini yangempela? Disneyland, kusukela ngo-1955.

Isikhathi sokuqala eDisneyland singazizwa njenge-nirvana noma sibe yi-anticlimactic ngokuphelele. Kuya ngezici ezahlukahlukene: lokho abantu abakutshele khona ngeDisneyland, ohamba naye, uhambo lomgwaqo oluya lapho, isimo sezulu, nezinye izinto ezingaphandle kolawulo lwakho.

Nansi into, noma kunjalo: Ungaphinda uhambe. Akunandaba ukuthi isikhathi sakho sokuqala sihambe kanjani, akudingeki ukuthi kube ngesokugcina sakho. Thola umngane ongcono, hlela kabusha usuku oluncane kakhulu, noma vele ubale isikhathi sakho sokuqala njengesipiliyoni sokufunda ngoba ubungazi ukuthi bekufanele ugibele abahamba kancane kuqala neSplash Mountain kamuva.

Futhi yilolo hlobo lomlingo wokwamukela ubuntombi bakho njengesipiliyoni hhayi isimo sokuba khona. Noma ngabe okokuqala, okwesibili, noma okwesithathu bekungaphelele, ungahlala ukhetha ukuzama futhi. Noma ungakhetha ukungayi nhlobo kuDisneyland. Abanye abantu bathi igcwele ngokweqile, noma kunjalo. Indawo ejabulisa kunazo zonke emhlabeni yilapho uzizwa ukhululekile kakhulu, noma ngabe kusho ukuthi awusoze waba nesifiso sokwenza lokho.

UChristal Yuen ungumhleli ku-Healthline.com. Lapho engahleleli noma engabhali, uchitha isikhathi nenja yakhe yekati, eya emakhonsathini, futhi ezibuza ukuthi kungani izithombe zakhe ze-Unsplash zilokhu zijwayeleka ezindabeni ezikhuluma ngokuya esikhathini.