Okushiwo Ucansi Lwentombazane Yakho *Ngempela* Kusho Ukuthini Ngocansi Lwakho

-Delile

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Ngakho-ke cishe izolo ebusuku... Izinto bezishisa kakhulu futhi zibe nzima, futhi ubungene ngamaphesenti ayi-100 kukho. Ngokudabukisayo, uvuke wabona ukuthi empeleni ubuzenzela nje ngomcamelo wakho, nokuthi ukuxhuma kwakho okufudumele bekuyiphupho nje. (Ingabe bewazi ukuthi ungakwazi ukwenza i-orgasm ephusheni locansi?) Ngemuva kwalokho uyabona ukuthi iphupho laliphathelene nowesifazane-nokuthi ngabe kwakunguMegan Fox, i-barista yakho eshisayo, noma umngani wesikole samabanga aphezulu, nakanjani zazingekho izidudla ezazikhona kwi-No Pants Party.

Qagela? Akusho ukuthi ungongqingili, noma ungowobulili obubili. Kusho ukuthi ungumuntu.

Awuwedwa neze ekuphupheni ucansi; ocwaningweni olulodwa, abesilisa nabesifazane babika ukuthi cishe amaphesenti ayisishiyagalombili amaphupho abo ayengawocansi. Awuwedwa ekubeni namaphupho ezocansi wentombazane nentombazane-Umumo sexpert UDkt.Logan Levkoff uze avume ukuthi wayenomunye mayelana noChristie Brinkley ebangeni lesine. Kodwa ungavumeli leli phupho locansi likuthumele enkingeni ekhona yocansi. (I-Psst... Uyazi ukuthi amaphupho akho angavezani ngobuwena?)

UDkt. Levkoff uchaza kahle ukuthi kungani kufanele uhambe nalokhu kugeleza: Ungacabanga ukuthi abantu besifazane bayathandeka futhi bayathandeka (ngoba, hheyi, siyizidalwa ezingama-magestic freaking, ngiqinisile?), Kepha lokho akusho ukuthi ufuna ube nobudlelwano (ngokocansi noma ngokungathi sína) nowesifazane. Iphupho liyilokho kanye: iphupho nje, kusho uDkt. Levkoff. Kuyindlela yokuzama izindima, ubuntu, kanye nokuhlangenwe nakho esingase singafuni ukukuzama empilweni yangempela. (Le mibono emihlanu ivame kakhulu.)

Ukubanjwa: Ngabe uzithola usufuna ubudlelwano bocansi nowesifazane ongaphandle kwe-dreamland? Lapho-ke leli phupho kungenzeka lingabi nje iphupho. Ekugcineni, kukuwe ukuthi unqume ukuthi imizwa yakho eqondile ikukhombisa okuthile umuntu wakho ongazi lutho ogibele ngakho ngokuphelele. Noma iyiphi indlela, jabulela i-Os yakho yasebusuku, futhi uma uthatha isinqumo sokuthi ufuna ukuyidala kabusha empilweni yangempela? Kwenze.

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