Ungayikhomba Kanjani Imizwa Yakho Ngesondo Lemizwa - nokuthi Kungani Kufanele

-Delile

• Liyini Isondo Lemizwelo?
• Kungani Ungase Usebenzise Isondo Lemizwa
• Ungalusebenzisa Kanjani Isondo Lemizwa
• Uma Usuyibonile Imizwa Yakho...
• Buyekeza kwe-

Uma kuziwa empilweni yengqondo, abantu abaningi bavame ukungabi namagama amisiwe ngokukhethekile; kungase kubonakale kungenakwenzeka ukuchaza kahle ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. Isikhathi esiningi ulimi lwesiNgisi alunamagama afanele, kepha futhi kulula ukuluhlukanisa ngezigaba ezinkulu, ezingacacisiwe. Ucabanga ukuthi, "ngimuhle noma ngimbi, ngijabule noma ngidabukile." Ngakho-ke uthola kanjani ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngempela - futhi uma usukwenzile, wenzani ngalolo lwazi? Faka: isondo lemizwa.

Udokotela wezengqondo uKevin Gilliland, Psy.D, umqondisi ophethe kwa-i360 e-Dallas, TX usebenza ngokuyinhloko namadoda kanye nentsha - kanjalo, uthi ukujwayele kakhulu ukusebenzisa leli thuluzi ukuze alebula ngokomzwelo. Uthi: "Abesilisa babi kakhulu ngokuba nomzwelo owodwa kumagama abo: ukuthukuthela." "Ngiyadlala isigamu nje."

Nakuba lesi sivimbeli sivame ukuvela ekwelapheni kwabesilisa, ukuhlukanisa ulwazimagama lwakho lwezempilo yengqondo kubalulekile kuwo wonke umuntu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi ungubani ubulili, kusho uGilliland. "Isondo lemizwa liyithuluzi eliwusizo kubantu lokuyazi kangcono imizwa yabo, kunokuba bathi 'angizizwa kahle," kusho u-Alex Dimitriu, MD, oqinisekiswe ngamabhodi amabili kwezokwelapha kwengqondo nasemithini yokulala nomsunguli weMenlo I-Park Psychiatry & Nemithi Yokulala.

Liyini Isondo Lemizwelo?

Isondo - kwesinye isikhathi elibizwa ngokuthi "isondo lomzwelo," noma "isondo lemizwa" - ingumfanekiso oyindilinga ohlukaniswe waba izigaba nezigatshana ukusiza umsebenzisi ukuthi abone kangcono futhi aqonde imizwa yakhe engokomzwelo nganoma yisiphi isikhathi, ngaphansi kwanoma yisiphi isimo.

Futhi alikho nje isondo elilodwa. IGeneva Emotion Wheel ihlela imizwa esesimweni samasondo kodwa kugridi yama-quadrants amane ayilinganisa ukusuka kokumnandi kuya kokungathandeki nokulawulwa kube okungalawuleki. IPlutchik's Wheel of Emotions (edizayinwe ngudokotela wezengqondo uRobert Plutchik ngo-1980) ifaka imizwa eyisishiyagalombili "eyisisekelo" esikhungweni - injabulo, ukwethemba, ukwesaba, ukumangala, ukudabuka, ukulindela, intukuthelo, nokunengeka - ngobuningi bobukhulu, kanye nobudlelwano phakathi imizwa. Bese kuba khona isondo le-Junto, elinezinhlobonhlobo eziningi zemizwa futhi okulula ukulisebenzisa: Lisho intokozo, uthando, ukumangala, ukudabuka, intukuthelo, nokwesaba phakathi nendawo, bese lisusa ngokuqhubekayo leyo mizwa emikhulu libe imizwa ecacile. ibheke ngaphandle kwesondo.

Umongo oyinhloko walokhu ukuthi alikho isondo lemizwelo "elijwayelekile", futhi abelaphi abahlukene basebenzisa imiklamo ehlukene. Futhi, ungase uthole umbono ohlukile kuye ngokuthi usebenzisa liphi isondo. Isibonelo, Isondo lika-Plutchik empeleni iyikhoni ephinde igqamise ubudlelwano phakathi kwemizwa eseduze; okusho ukuthi phakathi kwe- "ecstasy" kanye "nokuncoma" uzothola "uthando" (noma "uthando" uqobo lungeyona isigaba) futhi phakathi "kokuncoma" kanye "nokwesaba" uzothola "ukuzithoba" (futhi, "ukuzithoba "akusona isigaba, ukuhlanganiswa nje kwezigaba ezimbili ezincikene). Kunzima ukuqoqa ngaphandle kwezibonelo ezibonakalayo, ngakho-ke bheka lawa masondo. Njengoba nje kunabelaphi abahlukene kubantu abahlukene, kunamasondo ahlukene - ngakho-ke thola okukusebenzelayo (futhi uma unomelaphi, ungasebenza naye ukuze ukhethe oyedwa, futhi).

Ukusebenzisa la masondo kungakusiza ukwazi ukuqonda imizwa yakho - futhi lokhu kungaba yisiqalo esihle sokwenza inqubekela phambili engokomzwelo, kusho uDkt Dimitriu. "Inezela izinga lemininingwane ngale kokuthi 'kuhle noma kubi,' futhi ngokuqonda okuthuthukile, abantu bangakwazi kangcono ukusho okubakhathazayo." (Okuhlobene: Imizwelo engu-8 Obengazi ukuthi Unayo)

Kungani Ungase Usebenzise Isondo Lemizwa

Uzizwa uvinjelwe? Awukwazi ukukhomba lokho okuzwayo, ukuthi lowo muzwa uvelaphi, futhi ngani? Ingabe ufuna ukuzizwa unamandla, uqinisekisiwe, futhi unomqondo ocacile? Udinga izimpendulo? Ufuna isondo (futhi futhi mhlawumbe ukwelashwa, kepha ngaphezulu kulokho kancane).

Lawa mashadi angakusiza uqaphele ukuthi unokujula ngokomzwelo nokuqonda okungaphezulu kunalokho obukucabanga, futhi umphumela ungasebenza ngendlela emangalisayo. "Esinye sezizathu esenza ngiwathande kakhulu la masondo - noma ngezinye izikhathi uhlu - lwemizwa, yingoba abantu bayakwazi ukwenza yonke imikhuba yemizwa ehlelwe kahle, kepha kwesinye isikhathi udinga okuthile okusiza ukukubeka ngamagama," kusho uGilliland. "Angikwazi ukukutshela ukuthi abantu bamangala kaningi kangakanani - futhi bajabule ngempela - lapho bebona igama elithwebula ngempela lokho abakuzwayo noma ababhekene nakho."

Kuyahlekisa. Ngezinye izikhathi ukwazi nje imizwa efanele kungaletha impumuzo emangazayo.

UKevin Gilliland, Psy.D, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo somtholampilo

Ukuqinisekisa kungase kuhlanganiswe leyo njabulo oyizwayo lapho okuthile kuchofozwa (ngisho noma ukujabula kuwumphumela wokuthola ukuthi awugcini nje ngokuzizwa "uthukuthele" kodwa empeleni "ungenamandla" noma "unomona"). "Kufana nokuthi ekugcineni unempendulo yombuzo obukade uwubuza, futhi uthola ukuzethemba kulokho, noma ngabe kusekhona ukungaqiniseki," kusho uGilliland. "Kufana nokuthi uthola ukuthula ekugcineni ngokwazi ukuthi uzizwa kanjani," futhi ukusuka lapho, ungafika emsebenzini: "I-'kungani' iza kalula" ngemva kwalokho. (Okuhlobene: Kungani Ungakhala Lapho Ugijima)

Lezi zinto ngaphakathi kwazo zingaphulukisa ngendlela emangalisayo, ngokusho kukaGilliland. "Imizwa yakho ibuye ibe nomthelela emicabangweni yakho, okungenye yezizathu zokuthi kubalulekile ukuthi unembe," usho njalo. "Umzwelo ungavula imicabango ekusiza ukuba ube nokuqonda okubanzi kanye nombono obanzi - ngezinye izikhathi, kufana nokwazi imizwa efanele kuvula i-back-log yokuqonda."

Ungalusebenzisa Kanjani Isondo Lemizwa

1. Khetha isigaba.

Qala ngokukhomba isigaba esijwayelekile, bese ubhoboza phansi. "Lapho unganemba kakhudlwana ngendlela ozizwa ngayo noma ocabanga ngayo, izixazululo kwesinye isikhathi zingaba khona phambi kwakho," kusho uGilliland. "Kwesinye isikhathi ngizoqala ngesigaba esibanzi: 'Kulungile, ngabe uzizwa ujabulile noma udabukile? Asiqale lapho.'" Uma usuka "entukuthelweni," kufanele uqale ucabange - futhi wenze uhlu lwemizwa njalo kungcono kunokuzinqanda kumzwelo owodwa obanzi njengolaka, usho kanjalo.

2. Noma, bheka ishadi lonke.

"Uma uzizwa sengathi awuzange ube nguwe muva nje (futhi ngokuthembeka, ngubani ongakaze azizwe ngaleyo ndlela ezinyangeni eziyisithupha ezedlule?), Bese ubheka uhlu olude lwemizwa bese ubona ukuthi ngabe ikhona yini ethwebula ngokunembile ukuthi uzizwe kanjani,” kusikisela uGilliland.

3. Nweba uhlu lwakho.

Ngabe ujwayele ukusebenzisa njalo igama elilodwa noma amabili lapho ukhomba imizwa yakho? Isikhathi sokunwebisa leyo ndabuko yempilo yengqondo! "Uma unesimo 'esizenzakalelayo' (okungukuthi, uvame ukusebenzisa okufanayo ngaso sonke isikhathi), kuzodingeka ukuthi ungeze amanye amagama olimini lwakho," kusho uGilliland. "Kuyakusiza, futhi kuzosiza umndeni nabangane lapho ukhuluma nabo." Isibonelo, ngaphambi kosuku, ingabe uzizwa ukhathazekile, noma kufana nokungazethembi? Ngemuva kokuthi umngane akukhokhele, ingabe umane uthukuthele, noma ukhashelwe ngaphezulu?

4. Ungagcini nje ngokubheka izinto ezingezinhle.

IGilliland ikunxusa ukuthi ungabheki kuphela imizwa "esindayo" noma "ephansi."

"Funa labo abakusiza ukuthi ujabulele ukuphila; izinto ezifana nenjabulo, ukubonga, ukuziqhenya, ukuzethemba, noma ukusungula izinto," usho kanje."Ukufunda nje uhlu ngokuvamile kungase kukukhumbuze uhla oluphelele lwemizwa, hhayi nje engemihle. Iyadingeka ngezikhathi ezinjengalezi." (Isb: Mhlawumbe ukudansa kuleyo ngoma kaLizzo unqunu akuzange kukwenze uzizwe ujabulile noma ujabulile, kepha empeleni kukwenze wazizwa uzethemba futhi ukhululekile ~.)

Uma Usuyibonile Imizwa Yakho...

Manje-ke? Okokuqala, ungakupakishi konke. “Kubalulekile ukuqonda ukuthi iyiphi imizwa ozwayo nokuthi kungani, kodwa futhi kubalulekile ukuhlala nemizwa ungayibalekeli noma uphazamiseke,” kusho uDkt Dimitriu. "Ukulebula imizwa (ngokwesibonelo, isondo), ukubhala ngayo (ukuyihlola kabanzi), nokuqonda ukuthi yini eyenza izinto zibe ngcono noma zibe zimbi kakhulu konke kuyasiza."

"Imizwa yakho ixhumene nemicabango kanye nokuziphatha kwakho ngendlela abacwaningi abaqhubeka ngayo nokufunda," kusho uGilliland. "Into eyodwa esiyaziyo: bahlobene ngezindlela ezinamandla." Isibonelo, uvame ukukhumbula izehlakalo ezingokomzwelo ngokucacile ngoba imizwa ingakhulisa inkumbulo yakho. Ngakho-ke, "sifanele isikhathi sakho sokucacisa ngangokunokwenzeka," usho kanje.

Zombili lezi zingcweti ziphakamisa ukwenza ushicilelo nokwenza uhlu lokumba ngemizwa yakho. "Uma usuyikhombile imizwa yakho, kungasiza ukuqonda izinto ezimbili: okokuqala, ukuthi kubangelwa yini, okwesibili, yini ebenze baba ngcono," kusho uDkt Dimitriu. (Okuhlobene: Indlela Ukuveza Imizwa Yakho Kukwenza Uphile Kahle)

Gcina engqondweni, uzofunda lezi zinto ekwelashweni, futhi. "Ukwelashwa okuhle kusiza abantu ukuthi babone imizwa yabo kanye nokuphendula kwabo," kusho uDkt Dimitriu, eqaphela ukuthi, njengodokotela wezifo zengqondo, umqondo wokukhonjwa ngokomzwelo ufakwa kulo mkhuba wakhe. "Isondo lemizwa liyisiqalo esihle, kodwa hhayi indawo yokwelapha."

Buyekeza kwe-