Kungani Umdlavuza Ungeyona "Impi"

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Uma ukhuluma ngomdlavuza, uthini? Ukuthi othile 'ulahlekelwe' yimpi yakhe nomdlavuza? Ukuthi balwela izimpilo zabo? Ukuthi 'basinqobile' lesi sifo? Ukuphawula kwakho akusizi, kusho ucwaningo olusha olushicilelwe kulo magazini Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin- futhi ezinye iziguli ezinomdlavuza zamanje nezangaphambili ziyavuma. Kungase kungabi lula ukwephula lolu limi lwendabuko, kodwa kubalulekile. Amagama asebenzisa ulimi lwempi njengempi, ukulwa, ukusinda, isitha, ukulahlekelwa, kanye nokuwina-kungase kube nomthelela ekuqondeni komdlavuza kanye nendlela abantu abasabela ngayo kuwo, ngokusho kwababhali bocwaningo. Eqinisweni, imiphumela yabo ikhombisa ukuthi izingathekiso zezitha zomdlavuza zingaba yingozi empilweni yomphakathi. (Bheka Izinto Eziyisi-6 Owayengazi Ngomdlavuza Webele)

"Kukhona umugqa obucayi," kusho uGeralyn Lucas, umbhali futhi owayengumkhiqizi wethelevishini obhale izincwadi ezimbili ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe ngomdlavuza webele. "Ngifuna wonke umuntu wesifazane asebenzise ulimi olukhuluma naye, kodwa lapho incwadi yami entsha iphuma, Bese Kufika Impilo, Bengingafuni noma yiluphi lolo limi ekhasini lami, "usho kanje." Angizange ngiwine noma ngihlulwe ... i-chemo yami yasebenza. Futhi angizizwa ngikhululekile uma ngithi ngiyishayile, ngoba bengingahlangene ngalutho nayo. Bekungahlangene kangako nami futhi bekuhlobene nohlobo lwami lweseli, "uyachaza.

"Uma ngibheka emuva, angicabangi ukuthi iningi labantu engangizungezile lisebenzisa noma lisebenzisa amagama alwayo, noma ukusho ukuthi lesi kwakuyisimo sokunqoba / sokuhlulwa," kusho uJessica Oldwyn, obhala ngokuba nesimila ebuchosheni noma nge-blog yakhe. Kepha uthi abanye babangani bakhe abanomdlavuza banengwa ngokuphelele ngamagama empi asetshenziselwa ukuchaza umdlavuza. "Ngiyakuqonda ukuthi amatemu wokulwa afaka ingcindezi enkulu kulabo asebevele bengaphansi kwengcindezi engenakunqotshwa ukuze baphumelele esimweni sohlobo lukaDavid noGoliyathi. Kodwa ngibona nolunye uhlangothi futhi: ukuthi kunzima ngendlela emangalisayo ukuthi ungathini uma ngikhuluma nomuntu onomdlavuza. " Akunandaba, u-Oldwyn uthi ukuzibandakanya engxoxweni nomuntu onomdlavuza nokubalalela kuyabasiza bazizwe besekelwa. "Qala ngemibuzo emnene ubone ukuthi isukaphi lapho," weluleka. "Futhi sicela ukhumbule ukuthi noma sesiqedile ngemithi yokwelashwa, asikaze siphele ngokweqiniso. Kuhlala nsuku zonke, ukwesaba umdlavuza kuyaqala futhi. Ukwesaba ukufa."

UMandi Hudson naye ubhala ngokuhlangenwe nakho kwakhe nomdlavuza webele engosini yakhe ethi Darn Good Lemonade futhi uyavuma ukuthi nakuba yena ngokwakhe engakhethi ngolimi lwempi ukuze akhulume ngothile onomdlavuza, uyaqonda ukuthi kungani abantu bekhuluma ngaleyo mibandela. "Ukwelashwa kunzima," esho. "Uma usuqedile ngokwelashwa udinga okuthile okuzokugubha, okuthile ongakubiza ngakho, enye indlela yokuthi 'Ngikwenzile lokhu, bekuyinto embi-kodwa-ke sengikhona!'" Naphezu kwalokho, "Anginaso isiqiniseko sokuthi ngifuna abantu ukusho ukuthi ngihlulwe empini yami nomdlavuza webele, noma ngehlulwe empini. Kuzwakala sengathi angizange ngizame kanzima ngokwanele," uyavuma.

Noma kunjalo, abanye bangaluthola lududuza lolu limi. "Lolu hlobo lwenkulumo aluniki uLauren umuzwa omubi," kusho uLisa Hill, umama kaLauren Hill oneminyaka engu-19 ubudala, umdlali webhasikidi eMount St. Joseph's University owatholakala ukuthi une-Diffuse Intrinsic Pontine Glioma (DIPG), a ifomu elingavamile nelingalapheki lomdlavuza wobuchopho. "Ulwa nesimila ebuchosheni. Uzibona elwela impilo yakhe, futhi uyiqhawe le-DIPG elilwela zonke izingane ezithintekile," kusho uLisa Hill. Eqinisweni, u-Lauren ukhethe ukuchitha izinsuku zakhe zokugcina 'elwela' abanye, ngokuqongelela imali yesisekelo se-The Cure Starts Now ngewebhusayithi yakhe.

"Inkinga yomqondo olwayo ukuthi kukhona abaphumelelayo nabaphumelelanga, futhi ngoba uhlulwe empini yakho ngomdlavuza, akusho ukuthi uyisehluleki," kusho uSandra Haber, Ph.D., isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esisebenza ngomdlavuza. abaphathi (naye owayenomdlavuza uqobo). “Kufana nokugijima i-marathon,” usho kanje. "Uma uqedile, usawina, noma ungasitholanga isikhathi esingcono. Uma sivele sithi 'uzowina' noma 'awuwinanga' sizolahlekelwa kakhulu kulokho. negate wonke amandla nomsebenzi nezifiso. Kuyimpumelelo, hhayi ukuwina. Noma kumuntu ofayo, angaphumelela. Akumenzi anconywe kangako. "

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