Lo Mame Ebonile Ukuthi Ubedinga Ukubeka Impilo Yengqondo Ngaphambi Kokwehla Kwesisindo

-Delile

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Ekuqaleni kuka-2016, uKari Leigh wazithola emile endlini yakhe yokugezela izinyembezi zigeleza ebusweni bakhe ngemva kokuzikala. Engamakhilogremu angu-240, wayesinda kunawo wonke ake waba nawo. Wayazi ukuthi kukhona okumele kushintshe, kepha wayengazi ukuthi uzoqala kuphi.

Ngokunikezwa umlando wakhe onenkinga yokudla, i-yo-yo dieting, kanye nokuncika ekudleni kokunethezeka, uKari wayazi ukuthi wayenomgwaqo omude ngaphambi kwakhe. "Ngangazi ukuthi kufanele ngenze uhlelo lomdlalo nochwepheshe uma ngike ngafuna ukufunda ukuhlala ngokuthula engqondweni nasemzimbeni wami," esho etshela yena. Umumo. Ngakho-ke wenza isikhathi sokubonana nodokotela wakhe.

UKari ushiye lokho kuqokwa ngokuxilongwa kokucindezeleka kanye nomuthi onamandla we-anti-depressants. Udokotela wamtshela nokuthi kufanele aqale ukuzivocavoca futhi azinakekele kangcono uma efuna ngempela ukuzizwa engcono esikhathini eside. “Leyo bekuyinto yokugcina ebengifuna ukuyizwa,” kusho uKari. "Ngaleso sikhathi, bengingaboni ukuthi nami kumele ngiwufake umsebenzi, ukuthi iphilisi belingeke lilungise izinkinga zami."

Lokho uKari ayengakakwazi ukukuthola ukuthi ukulwa kwakhe nomzimba wakhe kwakususelwe ebuntwaneni bakhe obunesiphithiphithi nasempilweni yabantu abadala enengcindezi enkulu.

UKari uthi uqale unyaka omusha esikoleni samabanga aphakeme, okokuqala lapho ehlazeka khona ngomzimba. Uthi: “Uthisha wami wangibiza ukuba ngibhale okuthile ebhodini, futhi intombazane eyayihlezi ngemuva ekilasini yaqala ukwenza imisindo eshaya sengathi ngiyindlovu enkulu. "Akuzange kungishaye ngaze ngaba lapho phezulu ngezwa wonke umuntu eqala ukuhleka. Ngaphambi kwalokho, bengingacabangi ukuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle ngami. Kodwa ngemuva kwalolo lwazi, ngazithatha njengonkulu." (Okuhlobene: Abantu Bangena Ku-Twitter Ukuyokwabelana Ngokuqala Babenamahloni Ngomzimba)

Kusukela lapho kuye phambili, kuze kube yiminyaka yakhe yokuqala yama-20, uKari walwa nokuphazamiseka kokudla, ngesisindo sakhe sehla saya kumakhulu aphansi ngasikhathi sinye. "Ngesikhathi ngisafunda esikoleni samabanga aphakeme, ngavele ngayeka ukudla ngaqala ukugijima ngokweqile futhi ngehla njengamakhilogremu angama-60 ehlobo elilodwa," usho kanje. "Kwathi ngemuva kokuphothula izifundo zami, ngaqala ukwethula ukudla empilweni yami futhi kodwa ngazithola sengidla kakhulu ngabuye ngahlanza ngoba ngangizizwa kabi kabi ngokudla kwasekuqaleni."

Lokhu kwaqhubeka kwaze kwaba yilapho uKari eseminyakeni yakhe yokuqala yama-30. Wayezama nokudla okuhlukene, izinhlelo zokujima, ukuhlanza-noma yini ayengayithola ukuze anciphise isisindo. Kodwa kunalokho wakhuluphala.

Okubi kakhulu, ngo-2009, uKari washonelwa ngumfowabo engozini ebuhlungu eyadala ukuthi izwe lakhe lingawi. Ukushaqeka kwalezi zindaba kuholele ekutheni ugogo wakhe, okhulise uKari, acindezeleke kakhulu.

"Lapho nje ugogo ethola ukuthi umfowethu ushonile, kwase kucinyiwe kuye," kusho uKari. "Kwakungathi ngokuphazima kweso wahlanya-wayeka ukuvuka embhedeni, wayeka ukukhuluma, wayeka ukudla-wavele wanikela. Ngakho-ke lapha umfowethu wadlula emhlabeni futhi ngalo lolo suku ngilahlekelwa ugogo wami - owayekhona ngokoqobo kodwa akaseyena umuntu ofanayo."

Ngemva kwalokho, uKari waba umnakekeli oyinhloko kamkhulu wakhe, okwakunguyena yedwa ubaba ayemazi. Washona kungakapheli iminyaka emibili kamuva. Uthi: “Ngangingakaze ngilahlekelwe muntu ngaphambili. "Kodwa eminyakeni emibili nje vo, ngaba nomuzwa wokuthi ngilahlekelwe yiwo wonke umuntu engingathanda ukumthanda."

"Ngonyaka nohhafu odlule, ngifunde ukuthi awekho amaphilisi omlingo," esho. "Ngenkathi lawo maphilisi amancane amhlophe ehlisa umjaho omubi ongapheli ekhanda lami, awazange asize ukulungisa okwakwenzeka ngaphakathi. Lapho kungekho okushintshe ngempela ngemuva kwamasonto ayisishiyagalombili, ngangazi ukuthi kuzofanele ngiwumunce, ngibhekane edlule, futhi ekugcineni ngibe nokuthula nomphefumulo wami-futhi akekho ongangenzela lokho ngaphandle kwami."

Uqale ukulandela abantu ezinkundleni zokuxhumana ababathola bekhuthazeka futhi bephilile. Waqala ukubhala ngezindaba ezama ukuqonda imizwa yakhe kangcono futhi wafunda incwadi yokuzisiza Izigemegeme Zomphefumulo Wakho.

"Kwakungekhona mayelana nokudla noma isisindo, kwakungalezi zikhathi ezidabukisa kakhulu engangiziphatha njalo," esho. "Lapho sengiqale ukukuyeka konke lokho, ngokwemvelo ngaqala ukuzikhethela kangcono." (Okuhlobene: Izindlela eziyi-9 Zokulwa Nokucindezeleka Ngaphandle Kokuthatha Izidambisi-mizwa)

Kusukela lapho, uKari ugxile kakhulu ekudleni okunomsoco futhi usebenza ekhaya izikhathi ezine kuya kweziyisihlanu ngesonto ukuze alondoloze indlela yokuphila enempilo. “Ezinsukwini ezingu-60 zokuqala, ngehla ngophawundi abangu-30, okuyinto enkulu kimina, ikakhulukazi uma ngenze ngendlela efanele,” usho kanje. Namuhla, uselula ngamakhilogremu angu-75 futhi uzizwa engcono kunangaphambili.

Lokho akusho ukuthi akanazo izinsuku zakhe ezimbi. Kepha uhambo lukaKari lokuzithanda lumsize walungiselela kangcono ukuphatha lezo zikhathi ezinzima. "Kusenezinsuku engingafuni ukuphuma embhedeni-sonke siyakwenza," usho njalo. "Kodwa manje senginamandla okumelana naleyo mizwa."

"Yebo, ngingathanda ukwehlisa isisindo futhi ngikhulume yonke indawo. Kodwa uma lokho kungenzeki, kulungile," eqhubeka. "Okubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi ekugcineni ngiyawunakekela umzimba wami kwesokudla ngendlela, futhi leyo yinto engizoqhubeka ngiyenze futhi ngiziqhenye ngayo."

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