Izici Zobuncane Bentsha Yezingane

-Delile

• Yini I-Youulin Child Syndrome?
• Izici ezingezinhle Zesifo Sengane Esincane Kunazo Zonke
• Ingabe Ibalulekile I-Birth Order?
• Izinganekwane Mayelana Nokuzalwa Komuntu
• Izindlela Zokulwa Nesifo Sengane Esisencane Kunazo Zonke
• Ukuthatha

Cishe eminyakeni engama-90 eyedlule, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo saphakamisa ukuthi uhlelo lokuzalwa lungaba nomthelela ekutheni ingane iba ngumuntu onjani. Umqondo wabambelela emasikweni athandwayo. Namuhla, lapho ingane ikhombisa izimpawu zokonakala, uvame ukuzwa abanye bethi, "Yebo, bayingane yomndeni wethu."

Kusho ukuthini ukuba owokugcina ohlwini lokuzalwa, futhi siyini ngempela isifo sengane esincane kunazo zonke? Nayi eminye imibono mayelana nesifo sengane esincane kunazo zonke nokuthi kungani ukuba nokugcina kungabeka ingane phambili ngokuhamba kwesikhathi.

Yini I-Youulin Child Syndrome?

Ngo-1927, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo u-Alfred Adler wabhala kuqala ngohlelo lokuzalwa nokuthi lalibikezelani ngokuziphatha. Eminyakeni edlule, kuye kwabekwa phambili imibono nezincazelo eziningi. Kepha ngokubanzi, izingane ezincane kunazo zonke zichazwa njenge:

• kakhulu kwezenhlalo
• ngokuzethemba
• okudala
• kuhle ekuxazululeni izinkinga
• banobuchule bokwenza abanye abantu babenzele izinto

Abalingisi nabadlali abaningi yizingane zakubo ezincane emindenini yabo. Lokhu kusekela umbono wokuthi ukuba owokugcina kukhuthaza izingane ukuba zithandeke futhi zihlekise. Bangakwenza lokhu ukuze bathole ukunakwa emkhakheni womndeni ophithizelayo.

Izici ezingezinhle Zesifo Sengane Esincane Kunazo Zonke

Izingane ezisencane kakhulu nazo zivame ukuchazwa njengezonakele, ezimisele ukuthatha izingozi ezingadingekile, nezihlakaniphe kancane kunezingane zakubo ezindala. Izazi zokusebenza kwengqondo ziye zabika ukuthi abazali bahlanganisa izingane ezincane kunazo zonke. Bangase futhi bacele izingane zakubo ezindala ukuba zilwe nabafowabo nodadewabo abancane, zishiya izingane ezincane kunazo zonke zingakwazi ukuzinakekela ngokwanele.

Abaphenyi baphinde basikisela ukuthi izingane ezincane kunazo zonke kwesinye isikhathi zikholelwa ukuthi azinakunqotshwa ngoba akekho noyedwa oziyekela zihluleke. Ngenxa yalokhu, izingane ezincane kunazo zonke kukholakala ukuthi azesabi ukwenza izinto eziyingozi. Bangase bangaboni imiphumela ngokucacile njengezingane ezazalwa ngaphambi kwabo.

Ingabe Ibalulekile I-Birth Order?

Into eyodwa u-Adler ayekholelwa ukuthi uhlelo lokuzalwa akufanele lubheke kuphela ukuthi ngubani owazalwa kuqala futhi ngubani owazalwa ekugcineni.

Imvamisa, indlela abantu abazizwa ngayo ngokuhleleka kwabo emgqeni wezelamani ibaluleke kakhulu njengohlelo lwabo lokuzalwa langempela. Lokhu kwaziwa nangokuthi i-oda labo lokuzalwa kwengqondo. Isibonelo, uma ingane eyizibulo igula ngokungalapheki noma ikhubazekile, izingane zakini ezincane zingathatha indima evame ukubekelwa leyo ngane.

Ngokunjalo, uma iqoqo elilodwa lezelamani emndenini lizalwa iminyaka eminingana ngaphambi kweqoqo lesibili lezelamani, womabili amasethi angaba nengane eqala ukuba nezimpawu zengane yokuqala noma encane kunazo zonke. Imindeni ehlangene nayo ithola ukuthi ezinye izingane zakubo zizizwa sengathi zigcina uhlelo lwazo lokuzalwa lwangempela, kodwa futhi ziqala ukuzizwa zinokuhleleka okusha emndenini ohlanganisiwe.

Izinganekwane Mayelana Nokuzalwa Komuntu

Ngemuva kokufunda amashumi eminyaka, abacwaningi baqala ukucabanga ukuthi uhlelo lokuzalwa, yize luthakazelisa, kungenzeka lungabi nethonya njengoba kucatshangwa ekuqaleni. Ucwaningo olusha lubekela inselelo umbono wokuthi uhlelo lokuzalwa yilona olwenza abantu baziphathe ngezindlela ezithile. Eqinisweni, izingqinamba ezifana nobulili, ukubandakanyeka kwabazali, kanye nezinkolelo eziqinile kungadlala indima enkulu.

Izindlela Zokulwa Nesifo Sengane Esisencane Kunazo Zonke

Ngabe umntanakho ulahlwe yizo zonke izimfanelo ezibangelwa yisifo sengane encane kunazo zonke, kufaka phakathi ezingezinhle? Cishe akunjalo, ikakhulukazi uma unaka lokho okulindele ezinganeni zakho. Qaphela ukuthi izinkolelo zakho mayelana nokuzalwa kanye nemindeni ziyini, nokuthi lezo zinkolelo-mbono zikuthinta kanjani ukukhetha kwakho emndenini. Ngokwesibonelo:

1. Vumela izingane zihlanganyele ngokukhululeka ukuthuthukisa indlela yazo yokwenza ezinye izinto. Lapho beshiywe ukuba bazixazulule bodwa, izingane zakini zingase zingabophezeleka kakhulu ekusebenzeni ngokuya ngohlelo lokuzalwa futhi zithande kakhulu amakhono ahlukile ezinganikeza ngamunye.
2. Nikeza zonke izingane zakho izibopho nemisebenzi ejwayelekile ngaphakathi komkhuba womndeni. Lokhu kufanele kufanele ngentuthuko. Ngisho nabancane kunabo bonke bangabeka amathoyizi ambalwa futhi bafake isandla ekuhlanzweni.
3. Ungacabangi ukuthi abancane abakwazi ukwenza umonakalo. Uma ingane encane idale umonakalo, yibheke ngendlela efanele kunokuba ususe lesi sehlakalo. Izingane ezisencane kakhulu zidinga ukufunda ukuzwelana, kepha futhi kufanele zifunde ukuthi kunemiphumela ezenzakalweni ezilimaza abanye.
4. Ungenzi ingane encane ilwele ukunakwa komndeni. Izingane zakha amaqhinga kwesinye isikhathi ayingozi wokuthola ukunakwa lapho zingazizwa sengathi kukhona umuntu ozinakile. Umuntu ofunda ibanga lesithathu angakwazi ukuxoxa ngosuku lwesikole ngokucwaninga okungaphezulu, kepha inkulisa yakho kufanele nayo ithole isikhathi sokukhuluma ngaphandle kokuyilwela.
5. Ucwaningo oluningi oluhlola ukuthi ngabe i-birth order inomthelela yini ekuhlakanipheni lutholile ukuthi kunenzuzo ezinganeni ezizalwa kuqala. Kepha ngokujwayelekile iphuzu elilodwa noma amabili, akwanele ukuhlukanisa u-Einstein noForrest Gump. Zama ukungabambi impumelelo yengane yakho encane ifike ezingeni elibekwe ingane yakho endala.

Ukuthatha

Isifo sengane esincane kunazo zonke singase sibe yinganekwane.Kepha noma ngabe kuyisici esinethonya ngempela, akukubi konke. Ingane encane kunabo bonke abanakekeli abanokuhlangenwe nakho okwengeziwe, izingane zakwabo ezibagcina behlangene, kanye nokuvikeleka kwekhaya osekugcwele izinto ezidingwa yingane.

Izingane ezisencane kakhulu zingabuka izingane zakubo ezindala zivivinya imingcele, zenze amaphutha, futhi zizame izinto ezintsha kuqala. Izingane ezisencane kakhulu zingaba sekhaya zodwa unyaka noma emibili nabanakekeli abangatatazeli ingane esanda kuzalwa.

Izingane ezisencane kakhulu zingaba nobuciko kanye nomphakathi. Lawa ngamakhono adingeka kakhulu emnothweni lapho kubanjiswana khona ngokubambisana. Ekugcineni, isifo sengane esincane kunazo zonke akudingeki sichazwe ngezinkinga zayo. Kungaba isikhundla esihle ngekusasa lengane yakho. Futhi njengoba ucabanga ngokuthi uzo “vimba” kanjani ingane yakho ekubeni nezimpawu ezimbi zesifo sengane esencane kunazo zonke, khumbula ukuthi ukuhleleka kokuzalwa kumane nje kuyimbono. Akuyona incazelo yempilo.