Imibuzo emi-5 Okungafanele Ubuze Ngosuku Lokuqala

-Delile

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Amehlo akho ahlangana egumbini lonke, noma, amaphrofayili akho okuqomisana aku-inthanethi "achofozwe." Noma ngabe yiziphi izimo, ubone okungaba khona, wakucela ukuthi uphume, manje usulungele lolo suku lokuqala lwezimvemvane ezisesiswini sakho.

Manje kwenzekani lapho nobabili nihleli ngaphesheya kwetafula komunye nomunye ingxoxo iphenduka eyomuntu siqu? Iningi lethu liyazi ukudeda ezihlokweni eziphikisanayo njengezepolitiki nezenkolo, kepha yini kuyinto umdlalo omuhle wabantu ababili abazama ukwazana? Uma unethemba lokumsusa kusukelokuqala kuye kumphefumulo, nayi imibuzo emihlanu okufanele uyenze neze buza.

1. Ukubuza nge- "The Ex."

Lokhu kuvame ukuphuma ekulandiseni izindaba lapho kudliwa ngezinkumbulo zamaholide, izinsuku ezimbi, noma izindaba zakudala zasekolishi. "Zama ukuyigcina ibhekiwe ngangokunokwenzeka," kusho uHilary Rushford, umsunguli we-brandy blog brand blog dapper & the duchess. "Awufuni ukuzwakala ulengiswe komunye umuntu. Ngisho nomqondo nje wokugcina womuntu obusangana ngaye ungabulala abantu." U-Same uhamba nokubuza usuku lwakho ukuthi kungani ubuhlobo bakhe bokugcina behlulekile, noma ukuthi kungani "esese" engashadile.

2. Indawo yakho noma eyami?

Ilukuluku kuyindlela esheshayo yokubulala ukuxhumana-ikakhulukazi uma kukhulunywa ngokulahla impilo yakho yocansi yosuku. Ngokusho kukaCeach Steph, "uchwepheshe wezothando" odumile, ukuthuthuka kwezocansi-noma ngabe ungumbuzo-kungathathwa njengokungahloniphi futhi kungamanyala.

“Usuku lokuqala luyithuba lokwazi umuntu ophambi kwakho, futhi lowo muntu uzozizwa ephulwa kancane uma ingxoxo ishesha isuka ekudleni okuthandayo iye endaweni oyithandayo,” usho kanje. URushford uyavuma. "Ukuziphatha kabi nje. Ngaphandle kwalapho inhloso yakho kuwukwenza ucansi ngalobo busuku, gcina udlala ngothando, futhi wonge isibalo sabalingani kanye nokuthi ‘ubuneminyaka emingaki lapho’ imibuzo mayelana nokuthi isikhathi singakanani.”

3. Wenza malini?

Inkulumo yemali ikhuluma kakhulu, futhi iyindlela eqinisekile yokumethusa. "Amadoda awayimbi intombazane eyemba umgodi wegolide" kusho 'isazi sobudlelwano' uLindsay Kriger, "futhi ukubuza ngezimali zakhe kusho lokho."

"Ukukhuluma ngesimo samanje sesizwe noma umnotho womhlaba kulungile futhi kusesikhathini njengamanje. Kodwa ukukhuluma ngezimo zomuntu siqu kwezezimali akuvunyelwe kuze kube khona ubuhlobo obukhethekile," kusho uCarol Brody Fleet, umbhali we Abafelokazi Bagqoka Ama-Stiletto (I-New Horizon Press, 2009).

4. Ucabanga ukuthi lobu budlelwano buya kuphi?

Uma usanda kuhlangana futhi usukhuluma ngomshado, uhamba ngokushesha kakhulu. Ngisho noma ucabanga ukuthi angaba nguYe, "kusadingeka ukuthi unqake isanqante," kusho isazi sendlela yokuphila uSamantha Goldberg. UKriger uyavuma. "Amadoda ayathanda ukuzingela ngakho-ke ungabi inyamazane efile."

Ngokusho komqeqeshi osaziwayo abathandanayo nobudlelwano uDavid Wygant, uma ucabanga ngentokozo njalo nangemva kwezinyawo ezincane, kugcine kuwena-okwamanje. "Ungalokothi umbuze ukuthi ufuna izingane ezingaki ngosuku lokuqala. Ungahle uthenge itekisi manje bese uthuthela endlini enkulu emaphethelweni edolobha-uzocabanga ukuthi ufuna umxhasi wesidoda kuphela," kusho uWygant .

5. Ingabe isiqeshana sezinwele leso?

Khuluma ngombuzo olayishiwe. I-connotation iyodwa ingaba yinhlamba osukwini lwakho, noma ngabe ubuqonde ngendlela emnandi. Kepha umqeqeshi uSteph uthi ukukhuluma ngokubukeka akunamkhawulo ngokuphelele.

"Ukumtshela ukuthi 'muhle kakhulu' noma 'unamehlo amakhulu' akucasuli nje kuphela, kepha kumenza angakhululeki. Uzomomotheka, futhi uzoba nenhlonipho, kepha ngeke aphinde aphume nawe," usho kanje.

Njengokuthi ukuphawula ekubukekeni kwakhe kuvinjelwe, ungamceli ukuthi akhulume ngobakho. "Ukumbuza ukuthi 'ungithola ngikhanga, ngimuhle, noma nginentshisekelo,' noma yini ekhala ngokuthi 'Angizethembi futhi ngidinga ukuqinisekiswa' izomethusa ngokushesha. Impela ucabanga ukuthi umkhulu, wakucela ngosuku! " kusho isazi sokuphola nomlobi uMarina Sbrochi.

Inothi lokugcina: Akayena umelaphi wakho.

Yize lokhu kungewona umbuzo ngamunye, ochwepheshe bethu babe neseluleko esithe xaxa ngale kwabaqalayo bengxoxo. Ungahle ukhululeke naye futhi uzizwe sengathi ungabelana nganoma yini phakathi nalolo suku lokuqala, kepha uRushford uyeluleka, shiya umthwalo wakho emnyango.

"Wonke umuntu unezinkinga, kodwa zama ukungaholi nokuthi ungakanani udoti oshisayo ophume esangweni lokuqala. Khumbula, lo muntu akakazi futhi ufuna ukuqiniseka ukuthi wabelana ngezingxenye eziningi kakhulu ze- wena ngaphezu kwamaqhubu sonke esinawo nakanjani."

Zama ukugxila kokuhle empilweni yakho, futhi ungaholi ngalokho okukucasulayo-usuku lwakho olwesabekayo, osebenza nabo kabi, noma umphathi wakho omubi. "Lokhu akukwenzi ube muhle noma uphoqe," kusho uRushford. "Esikhundleni salokho, gxila kulokho okukukhanyisayo, okulethela injabulo, futhi kukujabulise." Futhi ngolunye usuku, lowo kungaba nguye nje.

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