Amathiphu we-8 wokuthumela imiyalezo ngocansi nge-Steamy (ne-Safe) Convos

-Delile

• Thola Imvume
• Hlangana kuqala
• Sebenzisa Ukuthumelelana Imiyalezo Yocansi njenge-Foreplay
• Ungazibambi
• Sebenzisa Kokuhlangenwe nakho Kwangaphambilini
• Yisebenzise Ukwehlisa Amacebo
• Qaphela Okubukwayo
• Ungalondolozi noma ubeke kungobo yomlando
• Buyekeza kwe-

Ukusuka kuma-celebs anezithombe ezinqunu zigqekeziwe ezithombeni ezingama-200,000 ze-Snapchat ezivuzayo ku-inthanethi, ukwaba imininingwane esondelene nefoni yakho sekucacile ukuthi kube yingozi. Lokho kuyihlazo ngoba ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukuthumelana imiyalezo yocansi kunomthelela oqondile: Ukuthumela imibhalo elumelayo kumlingani wakho akugcini nje ngokuthungela izinto phakathi kwamashidi, kukhulisa ukuzethemba kwenu, kuqinisa ubuhlobo benu, futhi kukusize nobabili ukuthi nihlole izindlela zokuziveza ngokocansi. Lokho kuwina-win nxazonke. (Bona: Ukuthumela imiyalezo ngocansi kungakusiza ukuthi ube nobuhlobo obungcono IRL)

Vele, ukuthumelelana imiyalezo yezocansi kungaba nzima uma ungakaze ukwenze ngaphambilini, ungazi ukuthi uthini, noma ungazi ukuthi umlingani wakho uthanda ini noma uzizwa enethezekile ngakho. Futhi azikho kulezi zinzuzo zokuthumela imiyalezo ngocansi uma wabelana ngemininingwane ebucayi engavumelekile, noma uvumele izingxoxo zakho nezithombe zakho ukuba ziwele ezandleni ezingafanele - noma ngabe ezobugebenga noma umlingani ozibonakalisa engathembekile. Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungathumela kanjani imiyalezo yocansi ngendlela ephephile - futhi uthole okuningi emilayezweni yakho - lawa macebiso amahlanu okuthumela imiyalezo ngocansi azokusiza ukukhokhisa impilo yakho yezocansi ngaphandle kokubeka ubumfihlo bakho engcupheni.

Thola Imvume

FYI, wena njalo badinga imvume yokuthumela izithombe ze-racy - noma amagama abeka obala obala noma obala - komunye umuntu, njengoCarol Queen, Ph.D., isazi sezocansi se-Good Vibrations, umphathi we-Antique Vibrator Museum, kanye nombhaliIncwadi Yezocansi Nenjabulokushiwo ngaphambili Umumo. Uma uke wehliswa i-Dick pick esitimeleni noma uthole isimanga kumdlalo omusha we-Tinder, uyazi ukuthi ukuphula kungazwakala kanjani ukuhlaselwa ngocansi olungamukelekile, ngisho noma kungamaphikseli athile kusikrini sefoni yakho.

Qiniseka ukuthi ubuza umamukeli ngaphambi kokuthumela noma yini. Akudingekile ukuthi ubuze, "Ingabe uyavumelana nokuthumelelana imiyalezo yocansi?" kepha zama ukwenza inhloso yakho icace bese ulunga ngaphambi kokuqhubeka. Zama okuthile okufana nalokhu: "Angiyeki ukucabanga ngokwenzeke izolo kusihlwa. Kukudlulise ngombhalo nami?" noma "Ungishisile konke futhi uyangihlupha ngapha. Ingabe kufanele sihambise le convo ezingeni elilandelayo?" noma ngisho "Ngisanda kuthatha i-selfie engu-🔥 ... ngingenazimpahla. Ufuna ukubona?" (Kungumqondo omuhle futhi ukubheka imithetho ethile yezwe lakho yemvume yocansi.)

Hlangana kuqala

Njengoba kunikezwe ukuthandwa kokuphola online, ungahle uthumele umyalezo nomlingani omusha amasonto ngaphambi kokuhlangana ubuso nobuso. Ngenkathi usalindile, gcina ithoni iphakamisa kancane futhi ikhombisa uthando kodwa hhayi ezocansi. Ungaba nemiyalezo emnandi yokuthumelelana imiyalezo yocansi ngaphambi kwesikhathi, kepha uma ingekho i-chemistry yomuntu, usanda kwabelana ngemininingwane eminingi yomuntu onentshisekelo enkulu kuye, kuchaza u-Emily Morse, isazi sezocansi nomsingathi Ucansi No-Emily i-podcast. Bamba umuntu onenhlansi naye. (Okuhlobene: Izinhlelo Zokusebenza Zobulili Ezinhle Kakhulu Zokuthuthukisa Ukusondelana Kwakho)

Sebenzisa Ukuthumelelana Imiyalezo Yocansi njenge-Foreplay

Ukuthumela imiyalezo yocansi kwakha ukulangazela okukhulu kanye nokusikisela ezintweni ezizayo, kusho u-Morse, ngakho-ke kulungele ukudala ukushisa kwangaphambi kocansi kanye nokungezwani. Ithoni elungile lingakufaka emahoreni wemizwa e-sexy ngaphambi kokuthi nibonane futhi nisethe isiteji sobusuku obunothando. Mayelana nokuthi ungathumela kanjani imiyalezo yocansi, gxila ekugcineni imiyalezo imifushane - awubhali inoveli yothando lapha, futhi ukubambezeleka okude kakhulu kungabulala ama-vibes - kepha kufakwe imininingwane enamanzi. "Amagama angama-aphrodisiacs, futhi izimo ozibeka engqondweni yomuntu zingasiza ekubumbeni ubulili onabo esikhathini esizayo," esho. (Okuhlobene: Imibono eyi-10 ye-Foreplay engashisa kakhulu kunokungena)

Futhi, abantu abaningi ngokuvamile badinga ukudlalwa kwangaphambili ngokomzwelo, u-Jenni Skyler, Ph.D., L.M.F.T., C.S.T., uthisha wezocansi kanye nomsakazi wocansi ohlala enkampanini yomkhiqizo wezokuzijabulisa u-Adam & Eve, utshelwe ngaphambiliniUmumo. Futhi njengoba ukusondelana ngokomzwelo kuyisango elivamile lokusondelana ngokomzimba, ukuxhumana ngengxoxo - noma ngabe i-IRL noma ngokuthumela imiyalezo yocansi - kungaba indlela enhle yokwakha lokho.

Ungazibambi

Ucwaningo olushicilelwe ku Ijenali yocwaningo lwezocansi bathole ukuthi imibhangqwana ebhalelana amagama angenqabele ukuvinjelwa bazizwa beneliseke kakhulu ngobudlelwano babo futhi banokuxhumana okungcono kwezocansi. Uma uzibuza ukuthi ungathumela kanjani imiyalezo yocansi, ncamashi, yazi ukuthi awudingi ukukhahlela i-convo ngamagama ezinhlamvu ezine; UMorse uphakamisa ukwenza iphutha ohlangothini lokudlala esikhundleni sezithombe zobulili ezingcolile ekuqaleni. (Cabanga: "Ngisasebenza konke kusuka kulokho okwenzeke izolo kusihlwa" noma "Ngiyathatheka ukuthi zithambe kanjani izindebe zakho.") Bese uthola okucacile njengoba izinga lakho lokunethezeka likuvumela. (Nawa amanye amathiphu wokuthi ungakhuluma kanjani ngokungcolile ongakusebenzisa ekuthumeleni imiyalezo yezocansi noma i-IRL.)

Sebenzisa Kokuhlangenwe nakho Kwangaphambilini

Ngokwami, kuvame ukuba lula ukuhamba nokugeleza futhi ufunde kulokho umlingani wakho akufunayo futhi akujabulelayo - kepha lokho kungaba yinkohliso ngombhalo. Uma ungaqiniseki ukuthi uthini, ncamashi, cabanga emuva kokuhlangenwe nakho okwabiwe ndawonye okwakungu-hot hot, umqeqeshi wezocansi oqinisekisiwe uGigi Engle ngaphambilini Umumo. Batshele (ngemininingwane ecacile) okuthandile mayelana nokweqa kwakamuva ndawonye. Lokhu kuzokwenza kube lula ukuthi nabo bajoyine.

Yisebenzise Ukwehlisa Amacebo

Ukuthumela imiyalezo ngocansi kungaba futhi yindlela enhle yokusikisela kulokho okufuna embhedeni, esimweni sokwamukela ngokwengeziwe; unesikhathi sokucabangisisa ngalokho ofuna ukukusho, futhi akudingeki ukuthi ulungise isibindi sokukusho ngomuntu. Uma udedela izithiyo zakho ngokutshela umlingani wakho ukuthi ufunani nokuthi ufuna ukwenzani kubo, kungathuthukisa ulwazi lwakho lwezocansi, uFran Walfish, iPsyd, umndeni wakwaBeverly Hills kanye nodokotela wezifo zengqondo.Umumo.

Qaphela Okubukwayo

Ukuthumela isithombe ozishuthe sona unqunu kungase kubonakale kuyindlela elula yokujabulisa umlingani wakho. Okunye okufanele kubhekwe ukuthi ungathumela kanjani imiyalezo ephephile ngocansi, ukuthi, kuze kube yilapho umethemba ngempela umlingani wakho ukuthi angaqhubeki phambili - okusho ukuthi, ngempela bathembe — namathela ekuthumeleni umbhalo kuphela noma okuyela ngasocansini kodwa ungavezi izithombe, kusho uMorse. Ngisho noma uthumela izithombe zakho kumuntu ohlakaniphile, ukwephulwa kwezokuphepha kuyenzeka, futhi ubudlelwano bungashintsha bube bubi kakhulu. Kudlale uphephile ngokungathumeli izithombe eziqoshiwe ezinqunu nhlobo, noma uthathe izinyathelo zokuphepha ezifanele: cabanga ngempela ukuthi uzithumela kubani, futhi unqamule noma yiziphi izici ezikuhlonzayo, njengobuso bakho nama-tattoos ahlukile, u-Haley Hasen, uthisha wezocansi kanye nenkanuko isisebenzi, sitshelwe ngaphambilini Umumo. (Okuhlobene: Imibhalo eyi-6 Ongahle Ungafuni Ukuyithumela Uzakwethu Ongaba Khona)

Ungalondolozi noma ubeke kungobo yomlando

Leso sifiso sokulondoloza ukuhwebelana kwakho okushisayo, nokuningi okuyingqophamlando kokuthumelelana imiyalezo yocansi kuyaqondakala ngokuphelele. Ngaphandle kokuthokozela ukuphinda ufunde, bafana nezikhumbuzo ezinhle ezikukhumbuza ukuthi wena nomlingani wakho niqinile kanjani futhi naziwo zonke izindlela zokuphumula zokulala enizijabulele. Kodwa ukuze kuqedwe amathuba okuthi isethi yamehlo engalungile iwabone (bese igqekeza noma idlulisele intambo ukuze abantu abangabazi ngokuphelele bayifunde, nabo), shaya susa, kusho uMorse. Cabangela ukwenza kanjalo, izaba zokuthumela imiyalezo yocansi ngokushesha. 😉

Buyekeza kwe-