Ace Indaba Yakho "Lapho Sahlangana"

-Delile

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UMeg Ryan futhi UTom Hanks wenza umhlangano ku-inthanethi ubonakale umnandi-zothando ngisho. Noma kunjalo, phakathi kuka-1998 Uneposi futhi namuhla, ukuphola online kuthole impendulo embi. Cabanga ngocwaningo lwamuva nje: Abaphenyi baseCornell University nase-University of Indianapolis bathole ukuthi lapho umbhangqwana uhlangana kaningi kunquma ukuthi umndeni wabo nabangane bazobusekela kanjani lobo budlelwano. Uma lo mbhangqwana uhlangana ngokwesiko, yithi ekilasini lasekolishi noma emsebenzini, inethiwekhi yabo ijwayele ukusekela ukwedlula ukuthi ngabe laba bebehlangana online. [Twitha lesi sibalo!]

Kodwa ngokocwaningo lwakamuva lwe-Pew, oyedwa kwabangu-10 baseMelika usebenzise uhlelo lokusebenza lokuqomisana ku-inthanethi noma isayithi, futhi lelo nani liyakhula. Kepha uma kwesinye isikhathi uzizwa uphelelwe isikhathi ngabangane bakho abebethandana kusukela ebangeni lesikole, noma u-pal wakho ohlangane noMnu Wonderful esihlalweni sobuhlalo, olwandle lwaseBahamian, noma eCentral Park (uthola iphuzu), sekuyisikhathi sokuthi uphenye ingqondo. "Okusemqoka wukuthi ukuhlangana ku-inthanethi akuyona into okufanele ube namahloni ngayo," kusho uLaurie Davis, umsunguli we-eFlirt Expert nomlobi we Uthando ekuqaleni kokuchofoza. "Kepha uma usondela usendaweni eyihlazo, khona-ke abantu ngeke bakuthokozele kangako."

Nansi indlela yokuphendula umbuzo ongenakugwema, "nahlangana kanjani nobabili?" ukuqinisekisa ukuthi indaba yakho yomhlangano iyizimbangi ze-rom-com.

1. Bumba indaba ekhava

Ukwakha indaba esembozweni ethi nahlangana nobabili IGoldfinch ngasikhathi sinye-ingabuya ikulume. "Ngeke kuvele njengokuyiqiniso," kusho uDavis. "Futhi kungenzeka ukuthi kungani abantu bengeke bakujabulele, ngoba injabulo yobudlelwano ayitholakali."

2. Setha Ithoni

"Uma uchaza ukuthi uhlangane kanjani nomuntu, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uhlangane kuphi, konke kumayelana nethoni oyisebenzisayo," kusho uDavis. "Kumayelana nokuzethemba kobuhlobo jikelele kunokuthi uhlangane kuphi." Esikhundleni sokuvuma ngokuhlazisayo ukuthi udale iphrofayili yakho yokuphola eku-inthanethi ngemuva kokwehlukana kwakho kokugcina okubi, setha indaba yakho ngokusho ukuthi ubujabule kangakanani ukuvula isahluko esisha sempilo yakho bese uzama okuhlukile-kuphela ukuhlangana naye ngemuva kwamasonto. "Uma ubheka umhlangano wakho ngelensi eyakhayo uma uqhathanisa nengakhi, lokho kuzokwenza umehluko emhlabeni," kusho uKaren Ruskin, udokotela wezifo zengqondo, nongoti kwezobudlelwano. Amathuba ukuthi, umndeni wakho nabangane bazokhombisa imizwa okuboniswayo kwakho, ngakho-ke ubakhombise injabulo, hhayi amahloni.

3. Zizwe Unamandla

Ngokuqomisana ku-inthanethi, ulawula impilo yakho yezothando-futhi lokho akuyona into ongaba namahloni ngayo. "Usebenzisa intuthuko kwezobuchwepheshe ukuze uhlangane nomuntu," kusho uRuskin. Ngenkathi uxoxa indaba yakho ungaqhakambisa izinzuzo zokuhlangana ku-inthanethi-njengokuthi ungahlola kanjani amadoda okungenzeka abe yingozi kuwe noma lawo angahlanganyeli izindinganiso zakho. Yisho okuthile okufana nokuthi, "Bengazi ukuthi ngifuna indoda esondelene kakhulu nomndeni wayo," bese uchaze ukuthi iphrofayili yakhe ikuthathe kanjani futhi yakudonsela khona lapho.

4. Gxila Endabeni

Noma ngabe i-Match.com ikwethule komunye wakho obalulekile, ngesinye isikhathi, nobabili naphuma ku-inthanethi, nahlangana mathupha, futhi nahamba ngosuku lokuqala lwangempela. Gxila kulokho. "Wonke umuntu unendaba," kusho uDavis. Indaba kungenzeka ukuthi iqale emyalezweni wokuqala ohlekisayo awuthumele, kodwa okwenzeka ngosuku lwakho lokuqala kanye nezihloko oxhume ngazo ngempela kuyingxenye yaleyo ndaba, kusho yena. Batshele ngakho konke ukuxhumana okuxakile obone ukuthi uvele usuka nje elulwaneni noma ukwazi kanjani ukuthela i-ketchup engutsheni yakho imizuzu eyi-10 esidlweni sakusihlwa. Ukutshela kabusha usuku lwakho lokuqala kuvumela abantu ukuthi babone ngale kwesiqalo esibonakalayo.

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