Ingabe Ubudlelwano Obukhona Nabo, Obungekho Futhi Buyimbi Ngempilo Yakho?

-Delile

• Kungani Bekubi Kuwe
• Indlela Owazi Ngayo Ukuthi Kufanele Udele
• Ungayiqeda Kanjani (Ngempela)
• Buyekeza kwe-

I-Newsflash: Isimo sobudlelwano "obuyinkimbinkimbi" asisiyimbi kuphela kuphrofayela yakho yezokuxhumana, sibi futhi empilweni yakho yonke.

"Ukuphinda futhi, ubudlelwano bokuphinda futhi bungadala ukukhathazeka okukhulu ngoba ungazizwa sengathi uhamba phezu kwamagobolondo amaqanda, uzama ukuthola ukuthi ngabe nizohlukana noma nini," kusho u-Andrea Syrtash, isazi sezobudlelwano nombhali kwe Akayona Nje I-Type Yakho (Futhi Yinto Enhle Leyo). "Ubudlelwano obuhle nobunempilo bunokwethembana, ukuxhumana okuvulelekile, inhlonipho, kanye nokuvumelana - lezi zinto ziyashoda kwabaningi ebudlelwaneni nasebunzimeni futhi." (Nazi izindlela ezi-10 ezixakile umzimba wakho ophendula ngazo ekucindezelekeni.)

Kungani Bekubi Kuwe

Izinto zokuqala kuqala: Yini elebula? Isikhathi esifanelekile salobu budlelwane obuphindaphindiwe, obungasasebenzi kabusha ngukuthi "ukuhamba ngebhayisikili lobudlelwano." "Futhi lokhu kuhamba ngebhayisikili kubeka inhlala-kahle yakho engokomzwelo engcupheni," kusho uLisa Brateman, udokotela wezifo zengqondo nozakwabo waseNew York City. "Ukuhamba ngebhayisikili kuletha imizwa ephindaphindwayo yokungazinzi, ukulahlekelwa, ukuhlukumezeka, nokulimala. Le ndlela eyonakalisayo ilulaza ukwethembana nokusondelana." (Qaphela lezi zinto eziyi-8 ezilimaza ubudlelwano bakho.)

Ngamafuphi: Labo abakulobu budlelwano obudonsa imizwa bavame ukuchuma ngezikhathi ezimnandi futhi empeleni, bahlala kokubi. Lolu hlobo lwe-roller coaster engokomzwelo alukuniki kuphela ukuguquguquka kwemizwelo engathi sína, futhi lunamandla okuphazamisa ukuzethemba kwakho uma kukhulunywa ngomzimba wakho, umsebenzi wakho, nokuningi. "Ukuphindaphinda emuva naphambili kubanga ukukhungatheka, ukukhathazeka, intukuthelo futhi kaningi ukucindezeleka," kwengeza uBrateman.

Indlela Owazi Ngayo Ukuthi Kufanele Udele

Ukujwayela kobudlelwano kungenza kube nzima kakhulu ukuhamba lapho ukuhamba kuba nzima, yize kunengqondo. Ngemuva kwesikhashana, ukudonsisana okungokomzwelo kungashiya omabili amaqembu engenalutho futhi emile. “Isikhathi sokuqhubeka lapho uzwa sengathi uzame konke ukwenza ubudlelwano busebenze, futhi kusenzima,” kusho uSyrtash. "Uma uke wazixoxa ngokukhululekile izindaba zakho, wasebenzela ukuthi uzenze ngcono, uzinike isikhathi sokufunda ngalokho okudingwa umlingani wakho futhi waveza okudingayo futhi namanje akukachofozi, ungahlukana wazi ukuthi uzame."

Siyazi ukuthi ucabangani: kulula ukusho kunokukwenza. Nawa amanye amafulegi abomvu amakhulu okuthi sekuyisikhathi sokuthi uhambe ngezindlela zakho ezihlukene:

1. Uzwa ubuhlungu obungaphezu kobumnandi ebudlelwaneni. Lapho izinto zihlala zishintshashintsha, kulula ukuzizwa ungaqiniseki, uthukuthele futhi uthukuthele. “Ekugcineni, ubudlelwano buzophela kukushiya uthukuthele wena nophathina wakho noma nobabili okungaholela ekucindezelekeni,” kusho uBrateman. "Ukuzizwa ubambekile kuyakhungathekisa futhi kuyadumaza futhi kukhinyabeza ukugcwaliseka komuntu siqu."

2. Ulahlekelwa ubuwena kule nqubo. Ah, uyindlu yesibani. Okushoyo: Njengendlu yokukhanya emi yodwa maphakathi netheku, uwukuphela kwento enikeza ukukhanya okuqhubekayo enkungwini. Impela, lokhu kungazwakala kungokwemvelo uma uzibheka njengomuphi. Nokho, uma ungakutholi ukusekelwa ngokomzwelo, uzokhula umzonda umlingani wakho. Okubi nakakhulu, uzoqala ukulahlekelwa ukuqonda okuqinile kwezinto ozifunayo nezidingayo ebuhlotsheni.

3. Izindinganiso zakho nokuziphatha akuhambelani.Imibono yakho ngocansi, inkolo, ezombusazwe, nezingane ibalulekile. Ngenkathi kungahle kube khona ezinye izinto okhululekile ukuziyekethisa kuzo, kubalulekile ukuthi uhlolisise isisindo sezinqumo zakho. "Ukuhlanganisa izindinganiso noma ukuziphatha kwakho kuyingozi enhlalakahleni yakho," kusho uBrateman.

4. Uyiukuxazulula ngoba ungenzingifuna ukuba ngedwa. Ufanelwe ukuphila impilo yakho enhle, nozakwethu okwenza uzizwe unenguqulo yakho engcono kakhulu. Yebo, ubudlelwano buyanethezeka, kepha lobo bungane buba buhle ngokwengeziwe uma bunomuntu ongagcini nje ngokusekela isimilo sakho kepha akwenze uzizwe ukhethekile ngempela. Futhi, kunezinzuzo zezempilo ngokungashadi.

Ungayiqeda Kanjani (Ngempela)

Ngakho-ke uwamukele amaqiniso: Isikhathi sokuthi uphume kulobu budlelwano obunobuthi. Isinyathelo sakho esilandelayo empeleni ukusika izibopho futhi uzivumele ukuthi uhambe ngendlela engenamthungo ngangokunokwenzeka. '

1. Ungabeki icala. Ukubeka umthwalo kumuntu oyedwa kuqhathaniswa nomunye kungenza izinto zibe lula ekuqaleni kwe-psyche yakho. Kodwa ekugcineni, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi "iphutha" likabani, isahluko sisavala. Lapho ubusebhayisikili lobudlelwano isikhashana, ingxenye ebaluleke kakhulu ukumane ubuphele, hhayi ukubeka icala. "Hlukana ngobuqotho nangomusa," kusho uBrateman. "Lokhu kuzovula indlela yokungahleleki kahle nokucindezeleka. Qonda ukuthi awusoze wazi ngokuphelele ukuthi konakelephi. Yamukela okwaziyo futhi ufunde kulokho okwenzekile. Thatha ongakwenza, udlulele phambili."

2. Funa usizo kubangane. Sonke sibe yidwala lapho i-galpal ihamba ngayo nomuntu wayo wesikhashana. Kubaluleke kakhulu njengoba kubalulekile ukuba nomngane ozokhuluma naye ngezikhathi ezinzima (kanye ne-spoon ibe yipayinti likaBen & Jerry's), futhi kubaluleke kakhulu ukuthi kube nomuntu ongena kuwe lapho unomoya.

“Cela umngane omuhle noma ilungu lomndeni ukuthi likusize uqhelelane nobudlelwano obungazizwa bunempilo noma buhle,” kusho uSyrtash. "Uma ungazithembi cela umuntu omethembayo ukuthi akusize uhlale uziphendulela. Lo muntu angakwazi futhi ukukukhumbuza ukuthi yini engasebenzi lapho uzizwa ulingeka ukuthi uzame futhi. Ekugcineni, abathandekayo bakho bafuna ukukubona ujabule futhi bazokwenza. okudingekayo ukukusiza ufike lapho. "

3. Sika bonke ubuhlobo bomphakathi. Lokho kusho ukuthi, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, LinkedIn ... konke 'em. Kunzima ukubona ukuthi i-ex yakho yenzani, noma ngemuva kokuhlukana okuhle kakhulu.

Buyekeza kwe-