Co-Parenting: Ukufunda Ukusebenza Ndawonye, ​​Noma Nindawonye Noma Hhayi

-Delile

• Thola ishejuli elisebenzayo (lenina nonke)
• Yazisa amalitha ukuthi uyiqembu
• Ngena njalo
• Yabelana ngomthwalo

Ah, ukubambisana kwabazali. Leli gama liza nomcabango wokuthi uma nibambisene nabazali, nihlukene noma nihlukanisile. Kodwa lokho akulona iqiniso ngempela!

Noma ngabe ushadile ngokujabula, ungashadile, noma phakathi nendawo, uma ungumzali nomunye umuntu, ungumzali osebenza naye - isikhathi.

Uyingxenye eyodwa yeqembu labazali leminyaka elandelayo engu-18 +. Futhi noma ngabe isimo sakho sibukeka kanjani (noma kungenzeka ngokuzayo), kungamaphesenti angama-50 kuwe ukusenza sisebenzele okuhle kwabancane bakho.

Ayikho ingcindezi noma yini.

Mhlawumbe ukugijima uhhafu wombukiso kuza kalula kuwe, noma mhlawumbe uyi-freak control okholelwa ukuthi yindlela yakho noma umgwaqo omkhulu. Angizile lapha ukwahlulela.

Ngaphandle kwesitayela sakho, ukubambisana ngokubambisana kuyikhono elizibekele lona - ongeke ukwazi ukulihlakulela ngokweqiniso uze ube nabancane bakho.

Impela, kunezindlela zokulungiselela ukuba ngumzali, njengokukhula kuma-gigs wokunakekela izingane noma ukunakekela izingane zakini. Ungathola ukunambitheka okuncane okulindelekile.

Kodwa ukubambisana kwabazali? Kufanele ube kuyo nomunye umuntu konke. ongashadile. usuku. ukuqondisisa.

Futhi uma usukuyo, kuyacaca ngokusobala ukuthi kufanele uthole izindlela zokwenza ukuthi isebenze.

Izingane zakho zizalwe ngabantu ababili abangahle noma bangabi nayo imibono efanayo yokuthi ukukhulisa ingane kufanele kuhambe kanjani. Unokuhlangenwe nakho okuhlukile, imibono, nokulindelwe kokuthi ufuna izinto zibukeke kanjani. Izinto ziba nzima nakakhulu lapho kungekho nje amafilosofi ahlukene okuba ngumzali, kodwa imikhaya ehlukene esithombeni.

Lowo umhlaba wobuzali engiphila kuwo. Futhi yize kungaba yinselele, ukusho okuncane, umyeni wami wangaphambili nami sihlala sivumelana ngento ebaluleke kakhulu - ukubeka abafana bethu ababili kuqala.

Futhi njengoba singena onyakeni wethu wesithathu wokuphambanisa ukuthola yonke le nto ndawonye, ​​ngibe khona-ngikwenzile-lokho amathiphu okwaba noma ngabe ukuzibophezela kwakho njengomzali kubukeka kanjani.

Nakhu ukuthi banethemba lokuthi bazosiza uhambo lwakho lube nokujabula, impilo, nokuvumelana.

Thola ishejuli elisebenzayo (lenina nonke)

Noma ngabe nihlala ndawonye amaphesenti ayi-100 wesikhathi noma cha, ukubambisana njengomzali kuqala futhi kuncike esimisweni esibushelelezi.

Vele, unamashejuli wansuku zonke nemikhuba yangaphambi kokuza kwengane, ngakho-ke cabanga ukuthi ibukeka kanjani, nokuthi yiziphi izingxenye zazo ozithanda kakhulu. Sebenzisa leyo Intel ukudala ishejuli yokuba ngumzali ehambelana nempilo yakho ekhona, ugcine imikhuba yakho nezinto ozithandayo.

Uma kusebenza kuwe, kungenzeka ukuthi unamathele.

Uhlelo lwakho olwabiwe kungenzeka lushintshe isizini nesizini nonyaka nonyaka, kepha ukusungula nokusungula kabusha okusebenza nxazonke kuyadingeka.

Mhlawumbe omunye wenu kulindeleke ukuthi asebenze ngaphambi kwesikhathi emsebenzini, kanti omunye ubhekene nokudla kwasekuseni nokunakekelwa kwenkulisa. Mhlawumbe umuntu unokuvumelana nezimo okwengeziwe futhi angakwazi ukuphatha lawo madokodo wasemini. Izikhova zasebusuku zingafuna ukuthatha okuphakelayo ebusuku, njalo njalo.

Ukungaguquguquki kubalulekile ekuthuthukiseni izingane kanye nokuthula kwengqondo kwabo bobabili abazali.

Yazisa amalitha ukuthi uyiqembu

Ukuzethula njengobumbano olubumbene kuyisihluthulelo ngokuphelele emhlabeni wobuzali obumbene.

Khombisa izingane zakho ukuthi niyakhulumisana, nixoxe, futhi nivume kaningi ngangokunokwenzeka nokuthi izinqumo zinikezwa nina nobabili. Babonise ukuthi uyiqembu.

Bazoqonda ukuthi abakwazi ukushelela okuthile kudlule umzali oyedwa omunye engazi - noma okubi nakakhulu - bazame ukukuxabanisa.

Akusho ukuthi kuzoba namaphuzu okunamathela nokungavumelani endleleni, njengakubo bonke ubudlelwano. Kepha zisebenzele ekusithekeni, ngaphandle kwendlebe, futhi ngaphandle kokubandakanya abancane bakho nganoma yisiphi isikhathi.

Lapho beza ekuboneni nasekuhloniphaneni ninomhlane womunye nomunye, bushelelezi umgwaqo wobuzali wabobonke.

Ngena njalo

Ngisho nangaphansi kophahla olufanayo, kubalulekile ukuhlangana nomzali wakho osebenza naye kusenesikhathi futhi kaningi. Kusukela ezigabeni ezisanda kuzalwa kuya phambili, izinsuku zigcwele futhi ziya ngokuxakeka, ukusho okuncane.

Izinto zishintsha njalo, ukusuka kumamoods kuya ezigabeni, izintandokazi, amatshe amakhulu, nakho konke okuphakathi. Ngakho-ke lapho ngithi thola, lokho kufaka phakathi… kahle… cishe kunoma yini ongayicabanga.

Ingabe ingane ibikhafula ngaphezu kokujwayelekile? Ngabe ingane yakho encane ibikhathazeke ngokwengeziwe lapho isiya emsebenzini? Uzizwa kanjani omunye wabazali bakho, futhi ingabe kukhona ukukhungatheka noma ukubonwa owabelana ngakho?

Khumbula ukuthi uhlangabezana nengxenye eyodwa kuphela yalokhu. Ziveze, futhi ukulungele ukulalela, futhi. Uzokwazi kangcono kakhulu ukuthi ukungena okuhleliwe noma izisekelo zokuthinta ezingekho emthethweni zisebenza kahle kakhulu. Heck, noma umbhalo osheshayo ungenza ubuqili ekucingeni.

Noma ngabe ukungena kwakho kubukeka kanjani, qiniseka ukuthi kuyenzeka - ngenxa yawo wonke umuntu.

Yabelana ngomthwalo

Yebo, kungaba yinselele ukuba ngumzali obambisene naye, kodwa futhi kuyisibusiso esikhulu ukuba nomdidiyeli wabantwana bakho ofuna ukuthatha indima ebonakalayo, nenenjongo ezimpilweni zabo.

Akekho ongakwazi ukuqonda ukuthi kunjani ukuba ngumzali wezingane zakho ngaphandle kwalowo osebenza naye. Ngisho nasezinsukwini ezinzima kakhulu, ezikhungathekisa kakhulu, gcina lokho engqondweni!

Ukuba nomzali osebenza naye ozinikele kuyithuba lokwabelana ngohambo - kanye nezibopho.

Kukhona aphoyintimenti odokotela namazinyo. Ama-extracurriculars. Ukuwashwa. Ukudla. Imithi. Amaphathi ezinsuku zokuzalwa. Inkulisa. Inkulisa. Isikole esijwayelekile. Izinsuku zokugula.

Uhlu lwezibopho alupheli, futhi ngenkathi sijabule ukukwenza, akungabazeki ukuthi ukuthola usizo kuyinto enhle kakhulu. Ncika komunye nomunye ukuze kwenziwe konke futhi kuba lula kakhulu nobabili.

UKate Brierley ungumbhali omkhulu, u-freelancer, futhi ungumama ongumfana kaHenry no-Ollie. Owine i-Rhode Island Press Association Editorial Award, wathola iziqu ze-bachelor’s journalism kanye ne-master’s emtatsheni wezincwadi nasezifundweni zolwazi e-University of Rhode Island. Ungumthandi wezilwane ezihlengayo, izinsuku zasolwandle zomndeni, namanothi abhalwe ngesandla.