Ungaba kanjani Isikhulumi Esiphumelelayo

-Delile

• Thuthukisa amakhono akho okuxoxa
• Khululeka ngemizwa yakho
• Khuluma ngokucacile, ungajahi
• Khetha amagama akho ngokucophelela
• Ungavumelani ngenhlonipho
• Buza imibuzo
• Buka ulimi lomzimba wakho
• Mbheke emehlweni
• Gcina ukukhuluma kwakho kukhululekile
• Gwema ukweqa imilenze nezingalo
• Zama ukugwema ukuzulazula
• Naka yabo ulimi lomzimba
• Ungakhohlwa ukulalela
• Vuma futhi uqinisekise
• Buza imibuzo lapho kudingeka
• Funda igumbi
• Nikeza isikhulumi ukunaka kwakho
• Izingibe okufanele uzigweme
• Ukuphusha
• Ukukhuluma nje ukukhuluma
• Ukugwema
• Esabela ngentukuthelo
• Ukwenza izinsolo
• Okubalulekile

Ikhono lokukhulumisana kahle lingenye yamakhono abaluleke kakhulu ongawathuthukisa.

Cishe uyazi ukuthi ukuxhumana ngokukhululekile kungazuzisa ubudlelwano bakho bomuntu siqu, kepha amasu wokuxhumana aqinile angakusiza kahle kuzo zonke izici zokuphila.

Abaxhumana kahle bangakuthola kulula uku:

• thatha izindima zobuholi
• bazi abantu abasha
• weqa imigoqo yamasiko yokwandisa ukuqwashisa nokuqonda okwenzeka empilweni ehlukile
• thuthukisa uzwela nobubele kwabanye

Kodwa ukuxhumana, okubandakanya kokubili ukunikeza nokwamukela ulwazi, akuzi kalula kuwo wonke umuntu. "Ukuxhumana kuyinto eyinkimbinkimbi impela, empeleni," kusho u-Emily Cook, PhD, ingcweti yemishado nomndeni eBethesda, eMaryland.

Thuthukisa amakhono akho okuxoxa

Lapho ucabanga ngokuxhumana, ingxoxo ngamazwi ingahle ifike engqondweni yakho.

Ukuxhumana kudlulela ngale kwengxoxo, kunjalo, kepha ukwabelana ngemibono nabanye kudinga ikhono lokudlulisa ngokusobala okucabangayo.

Khululeka ngemizwa yakho

Amagama akho aba qotho ngokwengeziwe lapho uwafaka imizwa. Imizwa eyabiwe ingakusiza ukuxhumana nabanye kalula, kodwa awukwazi ukwabelana ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngempela ngaphandle kokuthi uthintana nemizwa yakho.

Naka izingxoxo ngokugcwele, uvumele imizwa yakho ivele njengoba ulalele. Ukubuyisela imizwa emuva noma ukuyifihla kungakwenza ubonakale ungatshali imali engxoxweni, noma ungathembekile.

Zama ukuveza ukuthi ingxoxo ikwenza uzizwe kanjani - yize kuwukuhlakanipha ukuzijwayeza kancane uma kuveza imizwa enamandla kakhulu.

Khuluma ngokucacile, ungajahi

Kuvamile ukukhuluma ngokushesha lapho unovalo noma uzizwa ungaqiniseki kancane ngawe. Uma ukhuluma ngokushesha okukhulu, noma kunjalo, izilaleli zingakuthola kunzima ukulandela amazwi akho.

Thatha umoya omncane ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukukhuluma, noma kuyo yonke ingxoxo uma uzwa amagama akho eqala ukuphuma.

Kungabonakala kungaxakile ekuqaleni, kepha ukugxila kumsindo nokuma kwegama ngalinye elisemlonyeni wakho nakho kungakusiza wehlise ijubane futhi ugxile impela kulokho okushoyo.

Khetha amagama akho ngokucophelela

Isichazamazwi sakho, amagama anencazelo nemishwana oyikhethayo, kungaba nomthelela kumyalezo wakho jikelele. Cabanga ngokuthi ukhuluma kanjani nomngane wakho omkhulu, unyoko, nomphathi wakho. Ingabe usebenzisa amagama nemishwana efanayo noma uwaguqule ngandlela thile?

Kubalulekile ukuba nguwe, kodwa futhi kuyasiza ukucabangela izithameli zakho lapho uzama ukuxhumana ngempumelelo enkulu. Isibonelo, ukufunga phambi kukathisha wengane yakho noma ilunga lomndeni elilondolozayo kunganikeza umbono ohlukile kunalokho ofuna ukukusho.

Akukaze kube buhlungu ukufunda amagama amasha futhi wandise amagama akho, kodwa ungazizwa ucindezelekile ukwenza ingxoxo yakho ibe lula ngokulahla amagama amakhulu. Ukukhuluma ngokwemvelo kudlulisa ubuqotho obukhulu.

Ungavumelani ngenhlonipho

Imibono eyehlukene akudingeki ukuthi ichithe ubungane, ubudlelwano, noma ingxoxo engakahleleki. Ungahle ube nokufana okuningi nabantu abaningi okhuluma nabo, kepha ungaba nokuhluka okuningi, futhi.

Kujwayelekile impela ukungavumelani kwesinye isikhathi.

Vele unakekele:

• vuma umbono wabo
• yabelana ngombono wakho ngesizotha
• gwema ukudelela nokwahlulela
• gcina umqondo ovulekile

Buza imibuzo

Ingxoxo enhle kufanele ihambe ngazo zombili izindlela. Ufuna ukuvula futhi wabelane ngezinto ezimayelana nawe, kodwa futhi uzofuna ukubuza imibuzo enokuqonda futhi ulalele izimpendulo zabo.

Lwela imibuzo edinga impendulo eyinkimbinkimbi kunegama elilodwa noma amabili.

Ekupheleni kwakho, bonisa ukuzibandakanya nentshisekelo ngokunikeza izimpendulo ezinemininingwane lapho othile ekubuza umbuzo. Zama ukuthola ibhalansi phakathi kokuphendula ngokugcwele umbuzo nokuqhubeka nokuqhubeka.

Buka ulimi lomzimba wakho

Ngenkathi amagama akhulunywayo engathwala isisindo esiningi, ulimi lomzimba wakho lungadlulisa okuningi.

"Uma kukhulunywa ngezokuxhumana, indlela oyisho ngayo into ibaluleke kakhulu njengaleyo oyishoyo," kusho uCook.

Lezi zeluleko zingakusiza ukuthi uhlale unake lokho okushoyo ngaphandle amagama.

Mbheke emehlweni

Ukuhlangabezana nokubuka kothile engxoxweni kungakhombisa intshisekelo yakho kulokho abakushoyo. Iphinde idlulise umuzwa wokuvuleleka nokwethembeka. Ukubheka umuntu emehlweni kusikisela ukuthi awunakho okufihlayo.

Gcina ukukhuluma kwakho kukhululekile

Uma uzizwa unovalo oluncane phakathi nengxoxo, imisipha yakho yobuso ingaqina, okungakwenza ubonakale ucasukile noma ucindezelekile.

Asikho isidingo sokuphoqa ukumamatheka ngoba lokho kungabonakala kungathembekile. Esikhundleni salokho, zama ukudonsa umoya bese ugxila ekuyekiseni isisho sakho. Ukuvumela izindebe zakho zihlukane kancane kungasiza ukukhulula imisipha eshubile.

Gwema ukweqa imilenze nezingalo

Kungazizwa kungokwemvelo ukuhlala nemilenze yakho iwele noma ugoqe izingalo zakho esifubeni sakho lapho umile. Kepha ukwenza lokhu engxoxweni kwesinye isikhathi kunganikeza isithombe sokuvalwa noma ukungabi nandaba nemibono emisha.

Cabanga ukugcina izingalo zakho ezinhlangothini zakho uma uvame ukweqa imilenze yakho lapho uhleli, noma uphumule ukuma komzimba wakho lapho uwela izingalo zakho.

Zama ukugwema ukuzulazula

Ukuzamazama kungafaka:

• ukudlala ngezinkinobho, ifoni, ipeni, njll.
• ukuthinta izinyawo
• ukuluma kwezipikili

Lokhu kuziphatha kungakhombisa isithukuthezi nokwesaba ngaphezu kokuphazamisa kancane.

Uma ukugida kukusiza ukuthi ucabange kahle, zama ukuthola indlela engabonakali kangako. Isibonelo, zama ukugcina ithoyizi elincane le-fidget ephaketheni lakho noma unyakazise umlenze wakho (kuphela uma uphansi kwedeski lakho).

Naka yabo ulimi lomzimba

Ukukhuluma komzimba womunye umuntu kunganikeza izinkomba zokuthi ingxoxo iqhubeka kanjani.

Ngabe baqhubeka nokuhlola iwashi labo noma baqalaza igumbi lonke? Kungenzeka ukuthi basikisela ukuthi bafuna ukuqeda ingxoxo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, ukuncika engxoxweni noma ukunqekuzisa ikhanda kusikisela intshisekelo.

Futhi, phawula ukuthi ngabe bafaka ukuthinta noma ukuma komzimba. Lokhu kuziphatha okungazi kwenzeka lapho uxhuma ngokomzwelo nothile, ngakho-ke kuhlala kusho ukuthi ingxoxo ihamba kahle.

Ungakhohlwa ukulalela

Ukuxhumana akubandakanyi nje ukusho ucezu lwakho. Ukuze uxhume futhi wabelane ngemibono nothile, kufanele futhi ulalele - futhi ulalele kahle.

Lezi zeluleko zingakusiza ukuthi uthuthukise amakhono wokulalela asebenzayo.

Vuma futhi uqinisekise

Wake waba nengxoxo lapho omunye umuntu avele athi "uh huh" ngaphandle kokubonakala sengathi uyamunca obukusho?

Ukuqinisekisa okushiwo omunye umuntu kumenza azi ukuthi ulalele ngempela. Ukwenza imisindo nokwenza imvumo yokuvuma kulungile, kepha kuyasiza nokunquma phakathi kokuma kancane kwemvelo ngezinto ezinjengokuthi, "Lokho kuzwakala kukhungathekisa impela" noma "Ngiyakuthola lokho."

Buza imibuzo lapho kudingeka

Kungenzeka ukuthi ufunde ukungalokothi uphazamise ngenkathi othile ekhuluma. Lowo ngokuvamile umthetho omuhle okufanele uwulandele. Kepha kwesinye isikhathi, ukungaqondi noma ukungaqondakali kungenza ingxoxo kube nzima ukuyilandela.

Uma uzizwa udidekile noma ungaqiniseki, ngokuvamile KULUNGILE ukuphazamisa ngesizotha. Isho okuthile okufana nokuthi, "Uxolo, ngifuna ukuqinisekisa ukuthi ngikuqonda kahle." Bese uphinda abakushoyo njengoba ukuqonde.

Funda igumbi

Ukunaka ithoni yengxoxo kunganikeza ukuqonda ngemizwa yabanye abantu ababandakanyekayo.

Uma abantu bebonakala bekhathazekile futhi bengakhululekile, kodwa bengajabule, ihlaya noma ukuphawula okulula kungasiza ekwenzeni umoya ube lula. Kepha uma othile ekhuluma ngokudabukisa noma ngokubhuka, ihlaya lingahle lingadluli kahle. Ukulalela ngokucophelela kungakugcina esitebhisini sokuxoxa.

Nikeza isikhulumi ukunaka kwakho

Gcina umzimba wakho uphendukele esipikheni uma kungenzeka, bese ubheka iso, okungenani ezinye zezikhathi, ukukhombisa intshisekelo yakho engxoxweni.

Izingibe okufanele uzigweme

Ngisho nabakhulumeli abanamandla kunabo bonke bayakhubeka ngezikhathi ezithile. Kulindeleke lokho. Kepha ukugwema lezi zimilo eziyisihluthulelo kungakusiza ukuthi uziqhelanise nezinyathelo ezinkulu kakhulu.

Ukuphusha

Uma umuntu okhuluma naye ezama ukushintsha isihloko, noma ngokuqondile athi akafuni ukukhuluma ngento ethile, kuvame ukuhlakanipha ukulandela ukuhola kwabo.

Nomuntu omthandayo, kungadingeka ukuthi uphinde uvakashele isihloko kamuva. Ukubanika isikhala okwamanje kunikeza ithuba lokuhlela imizwa enzima bese ubuyela esihlokweni ngesikhathi esisebenzelana nobabili.

Kubaluleke kakhulu ukunaka ukukhuluma komzimba lapho ukhuluma ngendaba enzima. Uma othile ebheka eceleni, ebuyela emuva ngokomzimba, noma ephendula ngezimpendulo eziqondile, ungahle uthande ukudedela udaba.

Ukukhuluma nje ukukhuluma

Izingxoxo ziyehla futhi zigeleze, futhi kwesinye isikhathi, izinto ziyathula. Lokhu kungaphezu KOKULUNGILE, njengoba kunikeza isikhulumi nomlaleli ithuba lokuzindla ngalokho okushiwoyo futhi baqoqe imicabango yabo.

Ungavumeli isifiso sokugcwalisa umzuzu onokuthula ngengxoxo engenalutho.

Ukugwema

"Ukuhoxa / ukugwema kuyindlela eyodwa enenkinga engaphazamisa ingxoxo ecacile, ekhiqizayo," kuchaza uCook.

Lokhu kuvame ukwenzeka lapho uqala ukuzizwa ucasukile noma ucindezelekile ngengxoxo enzima. Mhlawumbe awukuthandi ukungqubuzana, futhi awufuni ukubhekana nomlingani wakho lapho ethukuthele.

Ukuhlola ingxoxo akusizi muntu, noma kunjalo. Esikhundleni salokho, bazise ukuthi udinga ikhefu bese uphakamisa ukukhuluma ngezinto lapho seninomoya omncane wokuthula.

Ukuprakthiza ukuxhumana okuhle kuzo zombili izinhlangothi kungakusiza ukuthi nifinyelele omunye nomunye ngempumelelo enkulu.

Esabela ngentukuthelo

Wonke umuntu uyathukuthela kwesinye isikhathi, kepha ukuphendula uma ukulo mkhakha wekhanda kungashesha ukuphazamisa izinto.

Thatha ikhefu engxoxweni uma udinga. Kwesinye isikhathi, ukusebenza ngentukuthelo ngokwakho kwanele. Ngosuku noma ezimbili, inkinga kungenzeka ukuthi ayisabalulekile kangako. Uma kusakukhathaza, ungakuthola kulula ukuthola isisombululo ngemuva kokuphola.

Uma ungakwazi ukuthatha ikhefu, zama ukuthola ezinye izindlela zokukhipha ulaka lwakho.

Ukwenza izinsolo

Noma wazi ukuthi umuntu okhuluma naye uxakekile, ukumangalelwa ngqo kungahle kungabi yindlela engcono kakhulu yokubhekana nalesi simo.

Zama ukusebenzisa izitatimende "Mina" esikhundleni. Lokhu kufaka ukugxila endleleni ozizwa ngayo, kunokumangalela omunye umuntu ngokuthile.

Nasi isifanekiso esiyisisekelo:

• “Ngizizwa (imizwa) uma (kwenzeka into ethile) ngoba (umphumela wento ethile uyenzeka). Ngingathanda ukuzama (elinye ikhambi). ”

Kungasiza futhi ukucela ukucaciselwa ngaphambi kokuphikisana nomunye umuntu. Ngendlela ephikisanayo yokubonisa iphutha lothile, zama lokhu:

• “Uma uthi‘ X, ’usho ukuthi (phinda lokho abakushilo)? Bengihlala ngikuqonda njenge (ncazelo yakho). ”

Okubalulekile

Noma kunini lapho useduze nabanye, ukhuluma ezingeni elithile, noma ngabe awukuqapheli. Ungahle ungakhulumi ngamagama ngaso sonke isikhathi, kepha izinkulumo nezenzo zakho zomzimba zisasho lukhulu.

Lokhu kukhulumisana okusondelene njalo kungabonakala kukhungathekisa uma ungazizwa ungumuntu okhulumisana ngokwemvelo. Yize ingekho inqubo eyodwa yokuqinisekisa ingxoxo ephelele, ukuzijwayeza kungakusiza ukuthi uthuthukise amakhono akho futhi uxhumane ngokuzethemba nangobuqotho.

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