Ububi be-imeyili nokuthumela imiyalezo ebudlelwaneni

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Ukuthumela imiyalezo ne-imeyili kulula, kepha ukukusebenzisa ukugwema izingxabano kungaholela ezinkingeni zokuxhumana ebudlelwaneni. Ukudubula ama-imeyili kuyanelisa, kukuvumela ukuthi weqe imisebenzi ohlwini lwakho lwezinto ozozenza ngesivinini esinqunyiwe. Kepha ngokuya ngokuya, abesifazane baphendukela kukhibhodi ngaphezulu kokusetha imihlangano. Ubuchwepheshe bukwenza kube lula ukuveza izihloko ezihlabayo kuyilapho ugwema ukungqubuzana. Futhi ezweni lethu elimatasa, imiyalezo ethayiphiwe isheshe ithathe indawo yezingxoxo ezizwakalayo ezigcina abantu bexhumekile. Ngakho-ke uma wonke umuntu ekwenza, ngabe lokho kuyakulunga?

Akunjalo Empeleni. Kukhona, empeleni, ukungalungi okuningi kwe-imeyili nemibhalo. "I-imeyili nemibhalo sekuyizindawo zokuphepha zabaculi abaphunyukayo," kusho uSusan Newman, Ph.D., isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nomlobi osesebenze izikhathi ezingu-13. "Ungayishaya indiva imilayezo, akudingeki uphendule imibuzo ongayithandi, futhi awusoze wabona ukuthi ulimaze kangakanani umuntu. Siphuthelwa yizifundo ezibalulekile ezingxoxweni zenyama ezingasifundisa zona. " Ngokuhlola izinkinga ezintathu zedijithali zabesifazane (siqinisekile ukuthi akubona bodwa abalwa nobuchwepheshe!) UNewman wembula ukuthi kungani ezindabeni zenhliziyo, ukuvumela iminwe yakho ikhulume kuvame ukuholela ekulimaleni okukhulu kunokuhle. Landela amasu akhe okuthola ubufakazi bokuxhumana okunempilo.

Isibonelo #1: Izinqamuleli zombhalo zingenza umngane abe isiphithiphithi.

Ngemva kokuba umngane wakhe efudukele edolobheni lakubo, u-Erica Taylor, 25, wenza konke ayengakwenza ukuze asize umngane wakhe ukuthi ahlale endaweni, wamvumela ukuba ashayeke efulethini lakhe futhi amnikeze umsebenzi wokufundela umsebenzi. Kodwa u-Erica wacasuka lapho umngane wakhe enganaki umatilasi womoya abewumiselwe, okwenza i-futon (osofa begumbi lokuphumula) ibe umbhede wakhe esikhundleni salokho. Umbhalo wobungane ka-Erica (ophelele onobuso obumomothekayo) ocela ukuthi umatilasi we-futon ubuyiselwe kufreyimu yawo ucuphe uchungechunge lwemilayezo ehlabayo ebuyela emuva naphambili. Phezu kwezintambo, intukuthelo yakhula kwaze kwaba yilapho umngane ka-Erica ebhala ukuthi uzophuma futhi abambe i-internship. Laba bobabili abakaze baxoxe kusukela lapho.

Empeleni u-Erica usebenzise izinqamuleli zombhalo ukuze enze isicelo somngane. Yini engalungile ngezinqamuleli zokuthumela imiyalezo nokushiya imiyalezo yezwi?

"Imibhalo efushanisiwe kakhulu inikeza izinkomba ezimbalwa zethoni yomlayezo noma lokho umuntu akuzwayo njengoba ewubhala," kusho uNewman, "okuholela ekudidekeni nasekuchazeni kabi." Amagama ambalwa angafundiwe kahle angadala izimpendulo ezenziwa ngamadolo ezisheshe zivele. Leyo mibhalo ethinta imizwa ingaphinda ifundwe i-ad-infinitum, yengeze ukuqina okungapheli kuma-jabs alimazayo.

Okufanele Ukwenze Kunalokho:

Isikhathi sokuqala lapho uthola umlayezo wombhalo ozwakala ungamazwibela, melana nesifiso sokuphendula ngendlela efanayo. Esikhundleni salokho, thatha ucingo, uphakamise uNewman, bese uthi, "Sibe abangani isikhathi eside. Kusobala ukuthi asibonani iso neso. Ake sikhulume ngalokhu."

Iya ekhasini lesibili ukuthola okwengeziwe-ke kobudlelwano obunempilo.

Isibonelo # 2: Ukuthembela kumiyalezo yeposi yezwi ukuletha izindaba ezimbi.

UJoanna Riedl, 27, ukhonze umngani wakhe wakudala abethandana naye kodwa wangazizwa enothando. Engakwazi ukubhekana naye ngalezi zindaba, ubuqedile ubudlelwano ngemeyli yezwi. Akukhona ukuthi wayefuna ukuphatha insizwa yakhe kabi; UJoanna wesaba ukuthi uzozizwa ecwilisiwe uma emtshela mathupha.

Kungekudala ngemuva kokuvala ucingo, imibhalo yagcwala kumakhalekhukhwini wakhe: "Nihlukane nge-e-mail?" nokuthi "Ungakwenza kanjani?" Kuvela ukuthi ithuluzi lakhe le-mail-to-text lesoka lakhe elinobuchwepheshe lithumele umyalezo nge-imeyili. Wadlulisela umyalezo wokuhlukana kubangani ukuthola izeluleko. Ngokushesha yafinyelela yonke indilinga yombhangqwana igoqa ifakwe efrijini lomuntu. UJoanna waphinde wakha ubungane ekugcineni. Lapha, u-Joanna wayethembele emiyalezweni yezwi ukuze alethe izindaba ezimbi. Konakelephi?

Lapho uthembele kubuchwepheshe ukwenza umsebenzi wakho ongcolile, ushiya konke kusuka ekuchazelweni kuze kufike ekulethweni komyalezo wakho kube sethubeni. "Ungase ucabange ukuthi uvikela omunye umuntu ngokumvumela ukuba amukele izindaba ezimbi ngasese," kusho uNewman, "kodwa okushoyo ngempela ukuthi 'Ngizikhathalela mina kuphela. Ngikulungele ukuqhubeka'. " Awugcini nje ngokufaka engozini yokulimaza umuntu ngokungazweli, umzila wephepha lakho ungaholela ngqo ehlazweni. Endabeni kaJoanna, ubuchwepheshe buguqula obekufanele kube yingxoxo yangasese ndaba yomphakathi kakhulu futhi nedumela lakhe lonakala.

Okufanele Ukwenze Kunalokho:

Hlukanani ubuso nobuso. Khumbula, amagama asuka enhliziyweni angabukeka engenamusa ku-inki ogqamile, kepha izwi elifudumele nokuxubha kwengalo kungenza izimangaliso zokuthambisa umuzwa wokuhlukana othi "Ngiyaziqhenya ngawe kodwa ngeke kusebenze."

Isibonelo #3: Ukugebenga ama-imeyili ukuze uhlale unolwazi kumuntu wakho.

Akugcini ngokubhala ama-imeyili kanye nemibhalo engenza ubuhlobo budideke: Ukufunda imilayezo yomuntu yangasese lapho usola ukuthi umngane noma isithandwa sifihle okuthile kufana nokuthwebula kwidayari ekhiyiwe umkhuba ongabuyisa. Lapho umyeni kaKim Ellis oneminyaka engu-28 eqala ukwenza isimanga ngemuva nje kokubeletha ingane yakhe yokuqala, wanquma ukungena kwi-akhawunti yakhe ye-imeyili. Akutholile kwakungamakhulu amanothi othando ashubile phakathi kwakhe nomsebenzi ayesebenza naye (kugcwaliswa ngezimemezelo zothando oluhlala njalo, ukubuyiselwa okucacile kokudla kwasemini "kwebhizinisi" kanye nohlelo oluningiliziwe lokubaleka). UKim ufuna isehlukaniso.

UKim ungene ekugengeni ama-imeyili ukuze afunde lokho afuna ukukwazi. Konakelephi?

"Ukweqa amakhodi ayimfihlo ukuze uhlole imilayezo eyimfihlo yozakwethu kubonisa izinkinga ezinkulu zokwethenjwa," kusho u-Newman. "Nakuba i-e-mail ingase iqinisekise izinsolo zokungathembeki, ngeke idalule noma yiziphi izinkinga eziholela kukho. Mhlawumbe ubudlelwano bahamba kahle. Mhlawumbe udaba lungalungiswa ngokwelulekwa. Ngaphandle kokwazi umnyombo wenkinga, alikho ithemba lokuthi ukuyixazulula. "

Okufanele Ukwenze Kunalokho:

Ukubhekana nomlingani wakho ngokuziphatha okungathandeki kunzima, kusho uNewman, kodwa ngaphambi kokungena e-mail, kungcono ukuthi ubuze umlingani wakho ubuso nobuso, "Kwenzekani?" Musa ukuwela ogibeni lobuchwepheshe. Njengoba sibonile kulezi zimo ezintathu, lapho kuthinteka khona imizwa, ubuchwepheshe akuvamile ukuthi bube yisisombululo esisheshayo ebudlelwaneni bakho nasezinkingeni zokuxhumana ezingase zibonakale zinjalo ekuqaleni.

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