Izigaba eziyi-8 zika-Erikson zokuThuthukiswa koMqondo, ezichazwe kubazali

-Delile

• Isigaba 1: Ukwethembana nokungathembani
• Izelwe inezinyanga eziyi-12-18 ubudala
• Isigaba 2: Ukuzimela kuqhathaniswa nehlazo nokungabaza
• Izinyanga eziyi-18 kuya eminyakeni emithathu ubudala
• Isigaba 3: Initiative vs. icala
• Uneminyaka emi-3 kuye kwengu-5 ubudala
• Isigaba 4: Imboni kuqhathaniswa nokubhekelwa phansi
• Uneminyaka emi-5 kuya kwengu-12 ubudala
• Isigaba 5: Ubunikazi kuqhathaniswa nokudideka
• Uneminyaka engu-12 kuya kwengu-18 ubudala
• Isigaba 6: Ukusondelana kuqhathaniswa nokuhlukaniswa
• Uneminyaka engu-18 kuya kwengu-40 ubudala
• Isigaba 7: Ukwenza ngobuciko kuqhathaniswa nokuma
• Uneminyaka engama-40 kuya kwengama-65 ubudala
• Isigaba 8: Ubuqotho kuqhathaniswa nokuphelelwa yithemba
• Ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-65 ubudala
• Isifinyezo sezigaba zika-Erikson
• Ukuthatha

U-Erik Erikson igama elilodwa ongaqaphela ukuthi livela kaninginingi komagazini obuzalisayo. U-Erikson wayengudokotela wezengqondo othuthukayo owayechwepheshe ekuhloleni kwengqondo kwengane futhi wayaziwa kakhulu ngombono wakhe wokukhula kwengqondo nomqondo.

Ukuthuthuka kwengqondo kuyisisho nje esihle esibhekise ekutheni izidingo zomuntu ngamunye (psycho) mesh nezidingo noma izidingo zomphakathi (ezenhlalo).

Ngokusho kuka-Erikson, umuntu udlula ezigabeni eziyisishiyagalombili zentuthuko ezakheka phezu komunye nomunye. Esigabeni ngasinye sibhekene nenkinga. Ngokuxazulula le nkinga, sihlakulela amandla engqondo noma izici zobuntu ezisisiza ukuba sibe ngabantu abazethembayo nabanempilo.

Umbono ka-Erikson wokuthuthuka kwengqondo usinikeza indlela yokubuka ukukhula komuntu kuyo yonke impilo yakhe. Kepha njengayo yonke imibono, inemikhawulo yayo: U-Erikson akachazi indlela ngqo izingxabano ezixazululwa ngayo. Futhi akayichazi imininingwane yokuthi usuka kanjani esigabeni esisodwa uye kwesinye.

Akunandaba, njengoba ufunda lezi zigaba ezingezansi, ungazithola uvuma ngekhanda ngokuvumelana lapho uzazi wena - noma ingane yakho.

Isigaba 1: Ukwethembana nokungathembani

Izelwe inezinyanga eziyi-12-18 ubudala

Isigaba sokuqala sombono ka-Erikson siqala lapho kuzalwa futhi sihlala kuze kube yilapho ingane yakho isondela osukwini lokuqala lokuzalwa nangaphezudlwana kwalokho.

Mhlawumbe uqaphele ukuthi ingane yakho incike ngokuphelele kuwe kuyo yonke into: ukudla, imfudumalo, induduzo. Yiba nomntanakho ngokungayinakekeli nje kuphela ngokomzimba, kodwa futhi nothando oluningi - asikho isidingo sokubamba izingalo.

Ngokunikeza lezi zidingo eziyisisekelo, uzifundisa ukuthi zingathembela kuwe. Lokhu kwakha ngaphakathi kwabo amandla engqondo okwethembana. Uzizwa uvikelekile futhi uphephile, usana lwakho luzobe lulungele ukuzwa umhlaba.

Kwenzekani uma ushibilika? Mhlawumbe ukhala kanye ngesikhashana. Noma awufuni ukufunda enye indaba yokulala. Ungakhathazeki: U-Erikson uyavuma ukuthi singabantu kuphela.

Ayikho ingane ekhulela emhlabeni ophelele. Isiphithiphithi ngezikhathi ezithile sinikeza ingane yakho ukuthinta kokuqina. Ngalokhu, uma sebelungele ukuzwa umhlaba, bazogada izithiyo.

Kodwa kwenzekani lapho abazali bengalindelekile futhi bengathembeki ngokungaguquguquki? Izingane ezingakutholi izidingo zizobheka umhlaba ngokukhathazeka, ukwesaba, nokungathembi.

Isigaba 2: Ukuzimela kuqhathaniswa nehlazo nokungabaza

Izinyanga eziyi-18 kuya eminyakeni emithathu ubudala

Uyazi ukuthi ushaye leli banga eliyingqophamlando lapho ingane yakho encane iqala ukuzimela. Bayabona ukuthi bangenza izinto ezithile ngokwabo - futhi bona gcizelela kulezo zinto.

Ithiphu yepro: Esikhundleni sokukhathazeka ukuthi ngabe ukunakekelwa kwezinsuku kuzobuza ikhono lakho lokuba ngumzali ngoba ingane yakho encane igqoke izicathulo zayo ezinyaweni ezingalungile - ngemuva kokuzifaka - hlakanipha ubayeke baphume kanjena.

Ngalesi sigaba, ingane yakho encane ikhetha ukudla. Ngakho-ke mabazikhethele ukudla okulula. Noma bavumele bakhethe ukuthi yiliphi ihembe abafuna ukuligqoka. (Ithiphu yokusinda: Banikeze amahembe amabili okufanele bakhethe kuwo.) Impela, kuzoba nezikhathi lapho izingubo zabo zingafani nje. Sineka futhi ubekezele ngoba ukubanika isikhala sokuzikhethela kusho ukubasiza ukuthi bakhe ukuzethemba kwabo.

Nansi enye i-biggie: Ingane yakho encane isilungele ukuqeqeshwa ngasendlini yangasese. Ukufunda ukulawula ukusebenza komzimba wabo kubanikeza umuzwa wokuzimela noma wokuzimela.

Izingane ezeza kulesi sigaba ngemibala endizayo zizozikholelwa futhi zizizwe zivikelekile emakhonweni azo. Izingane ezinganikwanga ithuba lokuziqinisa (ngaphakathi kwemikhawulo oyibekile) zizolwa nemizwa yokungafaneleki nokuzithemba, ngokusho kuka-Erikson.

Isigaba 3: Initiative vs. icala

Uneminyaka emi-3 kuye kwengu-5 ubudala

Le yiminyaka yasenkulisa. Njengoba ingane yakho ixhumana nabantu futhi idlala nabanye, ifunda ukuthi bangathatha isinyathelo futhi balawule okwenzekayo.

Ungakhuthaza ingane yakho ukuthi ihlele, ifinyelele izinhloso, futhi izibophezele ngokuqinisekisa ukuthi inamathuba amaningi okuxhumana nabanye. Bavumele bahlole umhlaba ngaphakathi kwemikhawulo oyimisile. Bathathe bavakashele abantu abadala futhi banikeze ushokoledi. Misela izinsuku zokudlala kubo nontanga yabo.

Futhi ungakhohlwa ukuthi nawe ungaba ngumlingani. Nikeza ingane yakho ithuba lokuqondisa umbukiso ngokuyiyeka ibe nguthisha, udokotela, noma umabhalane wokuthengisa ngenkathi wenza umfundi, isiguli noma ikhasimende.

Nakhu lapho ingane yakho iqala ukubuza imibuzo engapheli. Kwesinye isikhathi isazi sefilosofi sakho esincane sizibuze ukuthi izinja ziyaphi ngemuva kokuba zife lapho usuvele uzinze phansi ukubuka umbukiso owulahlekile ngoba uziyise kudlalade lesibili. Phefumulela ngaphakathi. Ngokuphendula le mibuzo ngentshisekelo yangempela, utshala imali ekuziphatheni okuhle kwengane yakho.

Lesi sigaba sicishe sibe ngaphezulu kokumane ubize isibhamu. Ngokusebenzisana nabanye ngokwenhlalo nangokudlala, ingane yakho iba nokuzethemba futhi ifunda ukujabulela ukuba nenjongo.

Kodwa-ke, uma abazali belawula noma bengayisekeli ingane yabo lapho benza izinqumo, ingane ingahle ingahlonyiselwe ukuthatha isinyathelo, ingahle ingabi nesifiso sokuvelela, futhi ingagcwaliswa ngecala. Ukweqa imizwa yecala kungavimbela ingane ekuxhumaneni nabanye futhi kuvimbele ubuhlakani babo.

Isigaba 4: Imboni kuqhathaniswa nokubhekelwa phansi

Uneminyaka emi-5 kuya kwengu-12 ubudala

Ingane yakho ifinyelele esikoleni samabanga aphansi. Nakhu lapho befunda khona amakhono amasha. Futhi lapho umbuthano wabo wethonya ukhula khona.

Ingane yakho inothisha abaningi nontanga. Bangase baqale ukuziqhathanisa nabanye. Uma benquma ukuthi baqhuba kahle ezifundweni zabo, enkundleni yezemidlalo, kwezobuciko, noma kwezenhlalo, ingane yakho izoba nemizwa yokuziqhenya nokufeza okuthile. (Qaphela: Bazobe futhi beqhathanisa umndeni wabo neminye imindeni.)

Uma uqaphela ukuthi ingane yakho inenkinga endaweni eyodwa, funa enye indawo lapho ingakhanya khona. Siza umntanakho ukuthi athuthukise amandla abo ezindaweni lapho benekhono lemvelo khona.

Kungenzeka bangabi izishingo zezibalo, kepha mhlawumbe bangadweba noma bacule.Ingabe ngokwemvelo bayabekezelela izingane ezincane? Bayeke basize ngokunakekela izingane zakwabo.

Lapho ingane yakho iphumelela, iyozizwa ikhuthele futhi ikholelwe ukuthi ingazibekela imigomo - futhi iyifinyelele. Kodwa-ke, uma izingane ziphindaphindwe okuhlangenwe nakho okungekuhle ekhaya noma zinomuzwa wokuthi umphakathi ucindezela ngokweqile, zingaba nemizwa yokuzenyeza.

Isigaba 5: Ubunikazi kuqhathaniswa nokudideka

Uneminyaka engu-12 kuya kwengu-18 ubudala

Ubusha. Nali ithuba lakho lokuvuselela amakhono ajulile okuphefumula owathuthukisile ngenkathi ingane yakho isencane.

Kulesi sigaba sokukhula ngokomqondo, ingane yakho ibhekene nenselelo yokukhulisa ukuzethemba. Bakha ubunikazi babo ngokuhlola izinkolelo zabo, izinhloso zabo, kanye namagugu abo.

Imibuzo ababhekene nayo akulula ukuyiphendula: "Ngingubani?", "Ngifuna ukusebenza kanjani?", "Ngifaneleka kanjani emphakathini?" Phonsa kukho konke lokhu kudideka umbuzo othi "Kwenzekani emzimbeni wami?" futhi mhlawumbe uzokhumbula isiyaluyalu owasizwa ngesikhathi sobusha. Ohambweni lwabo lokuzimela, iningi lentsha lizohlola izindima nemibono ehlukene.

Ungayisiza kanjani ingane yakho eyeve eshumini nambili ukuba ixazulule le mpikiswano engokwengqondo nengokwengqondo?

Yize u-Erikson engacaci, yazi ukuthi ukukhuthaza nokuqinisa ingane yakho kubalulekile ekuqambeni ubunikazi bayo. Ngaphezu kwalokho, okuhlangenwe nakho kwengane yakho kanye nokuxhumana nabantu kubumba indlela yokuziphatha kanye nemibono yabo.

Intsha ebhekana ngokuphumelelayo nalesi simo esibucayi izofika nomuzwa oqinile wobunikazi. Bazokwazi ukuphakamisa lawa magugu yize kunezinselelo abazobhekana nazo ngokuzayo.

Kodwa lapho intsha ingazifuneli ubunikazi bayo, ingahle ingakhulisi umuzwa oqinile wobuyena futhi ingabi nesithombe esicacile ngekusasa layo. Ukudideka okufanayo kungabusa kakhulu uma wena, njengomzali wabo, uzama ukubaphoqa ukuba bahambisane nezindinganiso nezinkolelo zakho.

Isigaba 6: Ukusondelana kuqhathaniswa nokuhlukaniswa

Uneminyaka engu-18 kuya kwengu-40 ubudala

Yilapho okungenzeka uqale khona ngokunqekuzisa ikhanda njengoba uzazi. Uyakhumbula ukuthi sathi isigaba ngasinye sakha kwesilandelayo? Abantu abanomuzwa oqinile wobuyena manje bakulungele ukwabelana ngempilo yabo nabanye.

Lesi yisikhathi sokutshala imali ekuzinikeleni kwabanye. Inselelo engokwengqondo nengqondo manje - ngokusho kuka-Erikson - ukwakha ubudlelwano bothando besikhathi eside obuzizwa buvikelekile.

Lapho abantu beqeda lesi sigaba ngempumelelo, bafika nobudlelwano obuphephile obugcwele ukuzibophezela nothando.

Abantu abangakwazanga ukuqeda isigaba esedlule ngempumelelo futhi abanawo umuzwa oqinile wobuyena ngokuvamile abakwazi ukwakha ubudlelwano obuzibophezele, ngokusho kwale mbono.

Bantula ukuphepha nemfudumalo yobudlelwano bothando, maningi amathuba okuba nesizungu nokudangala.

Okuhlobene: Ungazibona kanjani futhi uzinqobe izingqinamba zokuzibophezela

Isigaba 7: Ukwenza ngobuciko kuqhathaniswa nokuma

Uneminyaka engama-40 kuya kwengama-65 ubudala

Lesi sigaba sesikhombisa sibonakala ngesidingo sokunikeza abanye. Ngaphambili ekhaya, lokhu kusho ukukhulisa izingane zakho. Kungasho futhi ukunikela ezinhlanganweni ezisiza umphakathi kanye nemicimbi eyenza umphakathi ongcono.

Emsebenzini, abantu balwela ukwenza kahle futhi bakhiqize. Ungakhathazeki uma ungasitholi isikhathi sokukufaka konke - kungadingeka ukuthi ulinde isikhashana kuze kube yilapho abantu abancane endlini yakho bengasafuni okunzima kangako.

Abantu abaqedela lesi sigaba ngempumelelo banelisekile ngokwazi ukuthi uyadingeka. Bazizwa sengathi banikela emindenini yabo nasemphakathini nasendaweni yokusebenza.

Ngaphandle kwempendulo enhle kulezi zindawo, noma kunjalo, abantu bangabhekana nokuma. Bakhungathekile ukuthi abakwazi ukukhulisa umndeni, ukuphumelela emsebenzini, noma ukufaka isandla emphakathini, bangazizwa behlukanisiwe. Bangase bangazizwa benesifiso sokutshala imali ekukhuleni komuntu siqu noma ekukhiqizeni.

Okuhlobene: Ukukhiqiza kwakho akunqumi ukubaluleka kwakho

Isigaba 8: Ubuqotho kuqhathaniswa nokuphelelwa yithemba

Ngaphezulu kweminyaka engama-65 ubudala

Lesi yisigaba sokucabanga. Ngesikhathi sokukhula sekwedlule isikhathi, lapho ijubane lempilo lihamba kancane, abantu babheka emuva ezimpilweni zabo ukuze bahlole abakutholile. Abantu abaziqhenyayo ngabakwenzile bathola ukwaneliseka kwangempela.

Kodwa-ke, abantu abangaqedanga izigaba zangaphambilini bangaba nemizwa yokulahleka nokuzisola. Uma bebona izimpilo zabo zingatheli, baba ukunganeliseki futhi bacindezeleke.

Kuyathakazelisa ukuthi lesi sigaba sokugcina, ngokusho kuka-Erikson, singesinye sezinguquko. Abantu bavame ukushintshana phakathi kwemizwa yokwaneliseka nokuzisola. Ukubheka emuva empilweni ukuthola umuzwa wokuvalwa kungasiza ukubhekana nokufa ngaphandle kokwesaba.

Isifinyezo sezigaba zika-Erikson

Ukuthatha

U-Erikson wayekholelwa ukuthi umbono wakhe “uyithuluzi lokucabanga kunokuhlaziya okuyiqiniso.” Ngakho-ke thatha lezi zigaba eziyisishiyagalombili njengesiqalo osisebenzisayo ukusiza ingane yakho ukuba ithuthukise amakhono engqondo adinga ukuba umuntu ophumelelayo, kodwa ungazithathi njengomthetho.