Ngabe Iminyaka yokuqala eyisikhombisa yokuphila isho yonke into?

-Delile

• Eminyakeni yokuqala yokuphila, ubuchopho buqala ngokushesha uhlelo lwayo lokuhlela
• Izitayela zokunamathisela zithinta indlela umuntu abakha ngayo ubudlelwano besikhathi esizayo
• Ngeminyaka engu-7, izingane zihlanganisa izingcezu ndawonye
• Ingabe ‘kuhle ngokwanele’ kwanele?

Uma kukhulunywa ngokukhula kwengane, kuthiwe izigaba ezibaluleke kakhulu empilweni yengane zenzeka lapho zineminyaka engu-7. Empeleni, isazi sefilosofi esikhulu esingumGreki u-Aristotle wake wathi, “Nginike ingane aze abe neminyaka engu-7 futhi ngizobonisa wena ndoda. ”

Njengomzali, ukuthatha le mbono enhliziyweni kungadala amagagasi okukhathazeka. Ngabe impilo yendodakazi yami isiyonke engqondweni nangokwengqondo yanqunywa ngempela ezinsukwini zokuqala ezingama-2 555 yokuba khona kwayo?

Kepha njengezitayela zobuzali, imicabango yokuthuthuka kwengane nayo ingaba yinto endala futhi ingavunyelwa. Isibonelo, ku, odokotela bezingane bakholelwa ukuthi ukondla izingane ifomula kungcono kunokuzincelisa. Futhi akubanga kudala nje lapho odokotela babecabanga ukuthi abazali bazo "konakalisa" izingane zabo ngokuzibamba ngokweqile. Namuhla, yomibili le mibono yehlisiwe.

Ngala maqiniso engqondweni, kufanele sizibuze ukuthi akhona yini muva nje ucwaningo lusekela umbono ka-Aristotle. Ngamanye amagama, ingabe ikhona incwadi yokudlala yabazali yokuqinisekisa impumelelo nentokozo yezingane zethu esikhathini esizayo?

Njengezici eziningi zobuzali, impendulo akuyona emnyama noma emhlophe. Ngenkathi ukudala indawo ephephile yezingane zethu kubalulekile, izimo ezingaphelele njengokuhlukumezeka kwangaphambi kwesikhathi, ukugula, noma ukulimala akusho ukuthi inhlalakahle yengane yethu yonke yini. Ngakho-ke iminyaka yokuqala eyisikhombisa yokuphila kungenzeka ingasho konke, okungenani hhayi ngendlela enqunyelwe - kepha ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi le minyaka eyisikhombisa ibaluleke kakhulu enganeni yakho ekuthuthukiseni amakhono okuxhumana nabantu.

Eminyakeni yokuqala yokuphila, ubuchopho buqala ngokushesha uhlelo lwayo lokuhlela

Imininingwane evela eHarvard University ikhombisa ukuthi ubuchopho bukhula ngokushesha phakathi neminyaka yokuqala yokuphila. Ngaphambi kokuba izingane zihlanganise iminyaka emithathu ubudala, sezivele zakha ukuxhumana okuyizigidi ezi-1 zemizuzu ngeminithi. Lezi zixhumanisi ziba yisistimu yemephu yobuchopho, eyenziwe yinhlanganisela yemvelo nokunakekelwa, ikakhulukazi ukusebenzisana "kokusebenzela nokubuyisa".

Onyakeni wokuqala wokuphila wosana, ukukhala kuyizimpawu ezivamile zokunakekelwa komnakekeli. Ukusebenzisana kokuphaka nokubuyisa lapha kulapho umnakekeli ephendula ukukhala kwengane ngokuyondla, ngokushintsha inabukeni, noma ngokubanyakazisa ukuze balale.

Kodwa-ke, njengoba izinsana ziba ngabancane, ukukhonza nokubuyisela ukuxhumana kungavezwa ngokudlala imidlalo yokuzenzisa, futhi. Lokhu kusebenzisana kutshela izingane ukuthi unake futhi uzibandakanye nalokho abazama ukukusho. Kungakha isisekelo sendlela ingane efunda ngayo izinkambiso zomphakathi, amakhono wokuxhumana, kanye nobudlelwano phakathi kobudlelwano.

Ngisacathula, indodakazi yami yayithanda ukudlala umdlalo lapho icisha amalambu bese ithi, "Lala!" Ngangiye ngivale amehlo ami bese ngiphenduka phezu kosofa, ngimenze agigitheke. Bese engiyalela ukuba ngiphaphame. Izimpendulo zami beziqinisekisa, futhi ukuxhumana kwethu emuva naphambili kwaba yinhliziyo yomdlalo.

"Siyazi kusuka ku-neuroscience ukuthi ama-neurons avutha ndawonye, ​​axhumane ndawonye," kusho uHilary Jacobs Hendel, udokotela wezifo zengqondo onguchwepheshe wokunamathisela nokuhlukumezeka. "Ukuxhumeka kwe-Neural kufana nezimpande zesihlahla, isisekelo lapho konke ukukhula kwenzeka khona," esho.

Lokhu kukwenza kubonakale njengokucindezela impilo - njengokukhathazeka kwezezimali, izingqinamba zobudlelwano, nokugula - kuzoba nomthelela omubi ekukhuleni kwengane yakho, ikakhulukazi uma iphazamisa ukusebenza kwakho nokubuyisa ukuxhumana kwakho. Kepha ngenkathi ukwesaba ukuthi isimiso somsebenzi esimatasa ngokweqile noma ukuthi ukuphazamiseka kwama-smartphones kungadala okuhlala njalo, imiphumela emibi kungakhathaza, akwenzi muntu abe ngumzali omubi.

Izinkomba ezingekho zokuphakelwa ngezikhathi ezithile nezokubuya ngeke zikumise ukukhula kwengqondo kwengane yethu. Lokhu kungenxa yokuthi izikhathi "ezingabanjwanga" ngezikhathi ezithile azihlali zingamaphethini okungasebenzi. Kepha kubazali abanezingcindezi zokuphila eziqhubekayo, kubalulekile ukuthi ungakunaki ukuzibandakanya nezingane zakho phakathi nale minyaka yokuqala. Amathuluzi okufunda afana nokucabangisisa angasiza abazali ukuthi babe "khona" kakhulu nezingane zabo.

Ngokunaka umzuzu wamanje nokunciphisa iziphazamiso zansuku zonke, ukunaka kwethu kuzoba nesikhathi esilula ukuqaphela izicelo zengane yethu zokuxhuma. Ukusebenzisa lokhu kwazi kuyikhono elibalulekile: Ukukhonza nokubuyisa ukuhlangana kungathinta isitayela sokunamathiselwa kwengane, kuthinte indlela abakha ngayo ubudlelwano besikhathi esizayo.

Izitayela zokunamathisela zithinta indlela umuntu abakha ngayo ubudlelwano besikhathi esizayo

Izitayela zokunamathisela zingenye ingxenye ebalulekile yokukhula kwengane. Zivela emsebenzini wesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uMary Ainsworth. Ngo-1969, u-Ainsworth wenza ucwaningo olwaziwa ngokuthi "yisimo esingajwayelekile." Uqaphele indlela izingane ezisabela ngayo lapho umama wazo ephuma egumbini, nokuthi zisabela kanjani lapho ebuya. Ngokuya ngokubheka kwakhe, uphethe ngokuthi kunezitayela ezine zokunamathisela izingane ezingaba nazo:

• kuvikelekile
• ukukhathazeka-ukungazethembi
• ukugwema ukukhathazeka
• engahlelekile

I-Ainsworth ithole ukuthi izingane ezivikelekile zizizwa zikhathazekile lapho umnakekeli wazo ehamba, kodwa zaduduzeka lapho zibuya. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, izingane ezikhathazekile ezingazethembi ziyathukuthela ngaphambi kokuba onakekelayo ahambe futhi zinamathele lapho zibuya.

Izingane ezigwema ukukhathazeka azicasulwa ukungabikho komnakekeli wazo, futhi azijabuli lapho zingena kabusha egumbini. Bese kuba khona okunamathiselwe okungahlelekile. Lokhu kusebenza ezinganeni ezihlukunyezwe ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo. Okunamathiselwe okungahlelekile kwenza kube nzima ezinganeni ukuthi zizizwe ziduduzwa abanakekeli - noma ngabe abanakekeli abalimazi.

“Uma abazali‘ belunge ngokwanele ’ukunakekela nokuzijwayeza izingane zabo, amaphesenti angama-30 esikhathi, ingane iba nokusondelana okuphephile,” kusho uHendel. Uyanezela, "Okunamathiselwe kungukuqina ukubhekana nezinselelo zempilo." Futhi okunamathiselwe okuphephile isitayela esifanelekile.

Izingane ezinamathele ngokuphepha zingazizwa zidabukile lapho abazali bazo behamba, kodwa ziyakwazi ukuhlala ziduduzwa abanye abanakekeli. Bayajabula futhi lapho abazali babo bebuya, okukhombisa ukuthi bayabona ukuthi ubudlelwano bunokwethenjelwa futhi bunokwethenjelwa. Njengoba zikhula, izingane ezinamathele ngokuphephile zithembele ebuhlotsheni nabazali, othisha, nabangane ukuthola isiqondiso. Babheka lokhu kuhlangana njengezindawo "eziphephile" lapho kuhlangatshezwana khona nezidingo zabo.

Izitayela zokunamathisela zisethwe zisencane empilweni futhi zingathinta ukwaneliseka kobudlelwano bomuntu lapho esemdala. Njengesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo, ngibonile ukuthi isitayela sokunamathisela komuntu singabuthinta kanjani ubudlelwano babo obuseduze. Isibonelo, abantu abadala abazali babo abazinakekele izidingo zabo zokuphepha ngokubanikeza ukudla nendawo yokuhlala kodwa bangazinaki izidingo zabo ezingokomzwelo kungenzeka ukuthi bathuthukise isitayela sokunamathisela esivikela ukukhathazeka.

Laba bantu abadala bavame ukwesaba ukuxhumana kakhulu futhi bangaze “benqabe” abanye ukuze bazivikele ebuhlungwini. Abantu abadala abakhathazekile bangasaba ukushiywa, kubenze babe nozwela ngokwenqatshwa.

Kodwa ukuba nesitayela esithile sokunamathiselwa akuyona ukuphela kwendaba. Ngilaphe abantu abaningi abebengaxhunyiwe ngokuphepha, kepha ngithuthukise izindlela zobudlelwano ezinempilo ngokuza ekwelashweni.

Ngeminyaka engu-7, izingane zihlanganisa izingcezu ndawonye

Ngenkathi iminyaka eyisikhombisa yokuqala inganqumi injabulo yengane impilo yonke, ubuchopho obukhula ngokushesha bubeka isisekelo esiqinile sendlela abakhulumisana ngayo nabasebenzelana ngayo nezwe ngokucubungula ukuthi baphendulwa kanjani.

Ngesikhathi izingane zifinyelela, ziqala ukuhlukana nabanakekeli ngokuyinhloko ngokwenza abangani bazo. Baqala nokulangazelela ukwamukelwa ontanga futhi bakulungele kangcono ukukhuluma ngemizwa yabo.

Lapho indodakazi yami ineminyaka engu-7 ubudala, wakwazi ukukhuluma ngomqondo ngesifiso sakhe sokuthola umngane omuhle. Wabuye waqala ukuhlanganisa imiqondo ndawonye njengendlela yokuveza imizwa yakhe.

Ukwenza isibonelo, wake wangibiza "ngophula inhliziyo" ngokwenqaba ukumnika uswidi uma kuphuma isikole. Lapho ngimbuza ukuthi achaze "umhlukumezi wenhliziyo," waphendula ngokunembile, "Ngumuntu olimaza imizwa yakho ngoba akakuniki okufunayo."

Izingane ezineminyaka eyisikhombisa zingenza nencazelo ejulile yolwazi oluzungezile. Bangakwazi ukukhuluma ngomfanekiso, bekhombisa ikhono lokucabanga kabanzi. Indodakazi yami yake yabuza ingenacala ukuthi, “Imvula izoma nini ukudansa?” Engqondweni yakhe, ukuhamba kwamaconsi emvula kufana nokunyakaza komdanso.

Ingabe ‘kuhle ngokwanele’ kwanele?

Kungazwakala njengokulangazelela, kepha ukuba ngumzali "kwanele" - okusho ukuthi, ukufeza izidingo zezingane zethu ngokomzimba nangokomzwelo ngokwenza ukudla, ukuzifaka embhedeni ubusuku ngabunye, ukuphendula izimpawu zokucindezeleka, nokujabulela izikhathi zenjabulo - kungasiza izingane zikhule ukuxhumana okunempilo kwe-neural.

Futhi yilokhu okusiza ukwakha isitayela sokunamathisela okuphephile futhi kusiza izingane ukuhlangabezana nezinyathelo zentuthuko ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. On the cusp yokungena "i-tweocracy," izingane ezineminyaka engu-7 ziye zafunda imisebenzi eminingi yokukhula kwengane, zibeka isigaba sesigaba esilandelayo sokukhula.

Njengomama, njengendodakazi; njengobaba, njengendodana - ngezindlela eziningi, la magama amadala azwakala eyiqiniso njengo-Aristotle. Njengabazali, asikwazi ukulawula zonke izici zenhlalakahle yengane yethu. Kepha esingakwenza ukubasekela impumelelo ngokuzibandakanya nabo njengomuntu omdala othembekile. Singabakhombisa ukuthi siyilawula kanjani imizwa emikhulu, ukuze kuthi lapho behlangabezana nobudlelwano babo behlulekile, isehlukaniso, noma ingcindezi yomsebenzi, bakwazi ukucabanga ngendlela uMama noma uBaba abasabela ngayo ngenkathi besebasha.