Unosuku Lwe-Bitch?

-Delile

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Uhlanya olugcwele umgwaqo lumemeza inhlamba kuwe ezimpambanweni zomgwaqo, ngisho nezingane zalo esihlalweni esingemuva. Owesifazane usika phambi kwakho emgqeni futhi, uma ubhekene naye, ukutshela ukuthi wenze iphutha.

Abantu abaningi, kubonakala sengathi, abesabi ukudedela lezi zinsuku, noma ngabe badedela intukuthelo yabo kubantu abafanele abangahloniphi, abalingani abangaqaphile noma abasebenza nabo ababambe ongezansi. Izindaba ezimnandi zabesifazane ukuthi ekugcineni sikhululiwe ezinkingeni zeminyaka edlule ukuthi sibe njengabafazi (funda: akukho ukuthethisa) futhi sikhuluma phezulu, ngokuzwakalayo nangokucacile. Kodwa kulesi sikhathi sokuthunyelwe kwe-grrrl-power, ingabe siyaphi lapho sizwakalisa intukuthelo yethu?

Lokho kuya ngokuthi. "Okungalawulwa ukuthukuthela kuyindlela engasebenzi kakhulu yokuthi abesifazane bathole abakufunayo empilweni," kusho uSusan Heitler, Ph.D., isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo eDenver kanye nombhali wezincwadi. Amandla Amabili (New Harbinger, 1997). "Intukuthelo engafanele iphakamisa abantu ukuze bazizwe benamandla, futhi empeleni banikeza umthelela onamandla uma benza ngokucasuka. Kodwa okungcono kakhulu bazoyinqoba impi futhi bahlulwe empini."

Ngenkathi intukuthelo ithola abesifazane abaningi lokho abakufunayo esikhathini esifushane, ngokuhamba kwesikhathi ikhuthaza ukungahloniphi nentukuthelo. UHeitler, osebenze nezithandani ezizama ukulungisa izinkinga zomshado futhi usekhiqize i-video ebizwa nge "The Angry Couple," uthole iphethini ephindelela phakathi kwamakhasimende. "Owesifazane ongumlingani ukhakhabisa ngokungafanele, nowesilisa uyahoxa," kusho uHeitler.

Ngokuvamile, kuchaza u-Heitler, abesifazane balingisa isibonelo sonina sokuzithiba -- baze bangabe besakwazi ukukuthwala, bese beqhuma.

Isixazululo esinezinyathelo ezi-4

Esikhundleni sokuvumela ulaka lukunqobe, ludlulisele esenzweni. Ngokuzayo uma umakiwe, sebenzisa ukufutheka ekhoneni lakho. Isibonelo, ungahle uthukuthele nomlingani wakho ngokuhoxa ku-TV ngemuva nje kokudla isidlo osukwenzile. Ngaphambi kokuthi uzitshele (noma kuye), "Ungumuntu waseNeanderthal ongacabangi ngokusobala ocabanga ukuthi kufanele ngilinde kuye," zama lezi zinyathelo:

1. Bheka intukuthelo njengophawu lokumisa. "Singase sibe nentukuthelo njengesibani esiluhlaza ukuze sithathe isinyathelo ngokushesha," kusho uHeitler. Lapho inhliziyo yakho igijima ngokushesha, ingqondo yakho ihlanganisa kancane kancane -- awukwazi ukucabanga kahle. Yima unike isikhathi sakho sesizathu sokubamba umuzwa.

2. Thola ulwazi nokuqonda. Zama ukuthola ukuthi kwenzekani. Mhlawumbe ulandela isibonelo sikayise futhi akacabangi ngokunye.

3. Figure out, Ngifunani?" Zibuze ukuthi yini ekudlayo. Sebenzisa impendulo ukwakha ukusabela okunengqondo. Mhlawumbe enikufunayo wukuba anibonge ngokudla, noma ageze izitsha, noma nizenzele ndawonye.

4. Funa indlela ephumelelayo nehloniphekile yokuyithola. Lapho usukwazi ukuthi ufunani, phakamisa isihloko ngezwi lakho elijwayelekile, nelinethezekile.

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