Isimo Sokugxeka Silimaza Kanjani Impilo Yakho Nomcebo

-Delile

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Ungacabanga ukuthi ugcina izinto zingokoqobo nje, kepha ucwaningo olusha lukhombisa umbono wokugxeka ungalimaza kakhulu impilo yakho. AmaCynic enza imali encane kunabalingani bawo abanethemba, ngokusho kocwaningo lwamuva olushicilelwe yi-American Psychological Association. Futhi asikhulumi i-chump enegetive-negative Nancys yenza isilinganiso esingu-$300 ngaphansi ngonyaka (lokho kufana neziqongo ezintathu ze-Lulu!). (Beka uphawu lokubekisa lezi Zeluleko Zokulondoloza Imali Zokuthola Ukulingana Ngokwezimali.)

"Abantu abagxekayo bathatha izinsuku eziningi zokugula, abazethembi amakhono abo, futhi kaningi bazimisele ngokwengeziwe ukuthola imali encane," kusho u-Alisa Bash, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo eBeverly Hills, CA. "Kodwa umonakalo wangempela ubudlelwano babo nabanye abantu. Ngoba abathembi kangako, abasebenzisani kahle nabanye. Futhi uma umuntu ekhipha amandla amabi, ehlala ekhononda, abantu abafuni ukuba seduze kwalokho . "

Akuwona umholo wakho kanye nombuthano wakho kuphela ozohlushwa ukungathembeki okungapheli. Ukukhononda njalo kungabeka impilo yakho engcupheni. Ucwaningo lwakamuva oluvela eNyuvesi yaseMinnesota luhlobanise ukugxeka nengozi enkulu yokushaywa unhlangothi nesifo senhliziyo, kuyilapho ucwaningo lwaseSweden lwathola ukuthi ama-cynics maningi amathuba okuthi ahlakulele ukuwohloka komqondo. (Funda ukuthi "Kungani Ngathola I-Alzheimer's Test.") Abaphenyi kulezi zifundo zombili bathi imizwa engemihle ingakhuphula amazinga ama-hormone okucindezeleka, ikhuphule ukuzihlukanisa, futhi yenze abantu "badele" -izinto zonke ezihambisana nezifo ezikhulayo.

Konke lokhu kungaba nzima ukukugwinya kubantu abazizwa bemane bengabethembi ngokwemvelo. Kepha ngaphambi kokuphelelwa yithemba, uBash uthi ukugxeka kuyisici kuwe can shintsha-futhi akunzima njengoba ucabanga. Ukhiye yi-Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), ukuzivocavoca okusiza ukuthi uphinde uqalise okungekuhle njengezinto ezinhle. "Uma ulindele okubi kakhulu, uzokuthola, ngoba yilokho okudingayo," kuchaza uBash. "Kodwa izinto ezimbi zehlela wonke umuntu. Yindlela obuka ngayo lezo zinto ezonquma injabulo yakho."

Isinyathelo sokuqala sokunganaki i-nixing ukwazi ukuthi mingaki imicabango emibi onayo, usho kanjalo. "Kumele umise umjikelezo ngaphambi kokuthi uqale ngokubona ukuthi le micabango ayikwenzi ujabule." (Zama lezi Zindlela ezingama-22 Zokuthuthukisa Impilo Yakho ngemizuzu emi-2 noma ngaphansi.)

Qala ngokubhala phansi noma yimuphi umcabango ongemuhle. Isibonelo, "Leyo moto yangishaya ngenhloso! Abantu bangamajezi anje. Kungani lokhu kwenzeka kimi njalo?"

Okulandelayo, buza ubufakazi balowo mcabango. "Isikhathi esiningi abukho ubufakazi bangempela bezinkolelo zakho ezingezinhle futhi ubusebenzisa njengendlela yokuzivikela," kuchaza uBash. Funa ubufakazi bokuthi umshayeli uyazi ukuthi ubukhona futhi ukufutha ngamabomu, kanye nobufakazi bokuthi uhlala uchaphazeleka noma nini lapho imoto ihamba ngezinto ezwakala zingenangqondo lapho uzisho ngokuzwakalayo.

Bese ubuza izinkolelo zakho ngemuva kokugxeka. Uyakukholelwa ngempela lokho konke abantu bayaganga noma izinto ezimbi njalo kwenzeka kuwe? Bhala phansi ezinye izibonelo eziphikisayo zezikhathi lapho abantu babenomusa kuwe noma benza okuthile okuhle ngokungalindelekile.

Okokugcina, qhamuka nesitatimende esisha esihle. Isibonelo, "Lokho kunginukela kabi ukuthi ngafafazwa yileyomoto. Cishe nje babengangiboni. Kodwa hheyi, manje senginezaba zokuthenga ihembe elisha!" Bhala umcabango omuhle eduze kwalowo ongemuhle. Futhi yebo, kubalulekile ukuthi ubeke ipeni ephepheni kukho konke lokhu, u-Bash uyanezela. "Ukuxhumana okungokomzimba phakathi kwepeni, isandla, nobuchopho kuzogxilisa izinkolelo zakho ezintsha ezingeni elijulile, lokungazi lutho," kusho uBash. (Bheka Izindlela Eziyi-10 Zokubhala Ezikusiza Uphulukise.)

Ngaphezu kokusebenzisa i-CBT ukwenza kabusha ukucabanga kwakho, uBash uthi ukuzindla okuqondisiwe, i-yoga, nokugcina iphephabhuku lokubonga lansuku zonke kuzokusiza ukuthi usuke kumgxeki obandayo ngamatshe uye ethembeni lesikhashana. "Kubantu abafuna ukushintsha ukucabanga kwabo, kungenzeka ngokushesha okukhulu. Ngibone izinguquko ezinkulu ezinsukwini ezingama-40 nje kuphela," uyanezela.

"Umhlaba ungaba yindawo esabekayo ngempela. Ziningi-ke izinto ezizwa zingalawuleki kwakho, futhi ukugxeka kungenye yezindlela zokubuyisa lowo muzwa wamandla," kusho uBash. "Kodwa lokho kungagcina sekwenze ukuthi ukwesaba kwakho okubi kakhulu kufezeke." Esikhundleni salokho, uthi uzibone ungomunye wabasunguli bempilo yakho, ubona ukuthi unamandla kangakanani futhi ubheke izindlela zokwenza ushintsho oluhle. "Awukwazi ukuvimba izinto ezimbi ukuthi zenzeke kuwe, kodwa uyakwazi ukulawula indlela ocabanga ngayo ngazo. Imicabango yakho ilolonga iqiniso lakho-impilo enenjabulo iqala ngesimo senjabulo."

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