Ungazindla Kanjani Ngenhliziyo Evulekile

-Delile

• Vula Ukuzindla Okuqondiswa Inhliziyo
• Buyekeza kwe-

Inhliziyo yakho iyisicubu, futhi njenganoma iyiphi enye, kufanele uyikhandle ukuze uyigcine iqine. (Futhi ngalokho, asisho ukuthi i-cardio ikhuphula izinga lokushaya kwenhliziyo, noma lokho kuyasiza futhi.)

Noma ngabe "uqeqeshela" inhliziyo yakho uthando lwezothando, #selflove, noma uthando lokudla, indlela engcono kakhulu yokuhlanganisa leyo misipha efudumeza inhliziyo iwukuzindla. (Futhi uma uthando lokudla luyi-jam yakho, lo mhlahlandlela wokuthi ungadla kanjani ngokucophelela ukhiye.)

Yize kunezinhlobo eziningi ezahlukene zokuzindla, lesi senzo senhliziyo evulekile sisebenzisa ukuzindla okunengqondo, okumayelana nokugxila ekuzwelweni kokuphefumula komzimba, kusho uLodro Rinzler, umbhali wencwadi ethi. Uthando Lubuhlungu: Iseluleko SamaBuddha Sabaphukile Nenhliziyo umsunguli we-MNDFL, isitudiyo sokuzindla eNew York City. "Konke mayelana nokubuyela, kaninginingi, kuze kube manje." (Nakhu ukuthi kungani wonke umuntu ekhungathekile mayelana nokucabangela.)

Lo mkhuba ulusizo kubo bonke ubudlelwano empilweni yakho-ngisho nalezo ezindiza ngaphansi kwe-radar. Ukuzindla kwenhliziyo evulekile nomusa wothando kungakusiza ukuthi uthuthukise ubungozi, isineke, nozwela, futhi kube nomthelela wobuntu kuwo wonke umuntu onqamula naye izindlela, kusho u-Patricia Karpas, umsunguli wohlelo lokusebenza lweSitudiyo Sokuzindla. (Bheka lezi ezinye izinzuzo eziyi-17 zemilingo zokuzindla.)

Lapho uqeqesha ukucabanga kwakho ngokwengeziwe, kulapho ukwazi khona ukukhombisa bonke abantu abasempilweni yakho futhi ubekhona ngokugcwele futhi ube yiqiniso lapho unabo (noma ngabe lolo lusuku lokuqala, isidlo sakusihlwa nomlingani wethu wesikhathi eside, noma emsebenzini nomuntu ongamazi nhlobo), kusho uRinzler. "Kufana nokuyisa inhliziyo ejimini; uzama ukuvula izinhliziyo zethu kubantu obathandayo, abantu ongabazi kahle, ngisho nabantu ongazwani nabo."

Futhi nakuba kunezinzuzo zempilo yakho yansuku zonke, lolu hlobo lokuzindla lungakusiza ulungiselele izikhathi ezinkulu, ngokufanayo nokuba nezingxoxo ezinzima noma ukusinda empini-kusho u-Karpas. "Ingxoxo evulekile ngezinye izikhathi isho ukwamukela umbono womunye futhi uqhubeke." (Kufana nokuhlala etafuleni lokudla kwakusihlwa nomalume wakho ongumlandeli kaTrump "yuuuge".)

Lapha, uRinzler ukuqondisa ngokuzindla kwenhliziyo evulekile okungagcini nje ngokuhlola ubudlelwano bakho nomuntu omthandayo, kepha futhi nomuntu ongaxabana naye-noma ngabe ungumuntu wakudala, ilunga lomndeni, noma umphathi ophethe naye ikhanda ku okuvamile. (Udinga isiqondiso sokuzwa? Zama umsindo ongezansi ukuze uthole ukuzindla Okuvula Inhliziyo ka-Elisha Goldstein nohlelo lokusebenza lweSitudiyo Sokuzindla.)

Vula Ukuzindla Okuqondiswa Inhliziyo

1. Phefumula kathathu. In ngekhala nangaphandle ngomlomo.

2. Khumbuza isithombe somuntu omthanda kakhulu. Yenze i-visceral-cabanga ngendlela abavame ukugqoka ngayo, indlela abamomotheka ngayo, nokuthi benza kanjani izinwele zabo; zonke izici ngaye.

3. Tholisa inhliziyo yakho kulo muntu bese uphinda isifiso esilula: "Kwangathi ungathokozela injabulo futhi ungabi nokuhlupheka." Njengoba uphinda le nkulumo, ungahle ucabange ukuthi, "Kubukeka kanjani lokho kulo muntu?" "Yini engamenza ajabule namuhla?" Qhubeka ubuyela ku-aspiration ngokwayo, futhi ekupheleni kwemizuzu emihlanu vumela ukubonwa kuhlakazeke.

4.Khumbuza isithombe somuntu ongahlali naye. Hlala nalesi sithombe umzuzu, uvumele imicabango yokwahlulela ihambe. Bese uqala ukubhala izinto ezinhle ezifiswa yilo muntu. Ekupheleni kwento ngayinye, engeza amagama amathathu omlingo: "njengami." Isibonelo: "USam ufuna ukujabula...njengami." noma "USam ufuna ukuzizwa efiseleka...njengami." Ngethemba ukuthi lokho kuzodala uhlobo oluthile lozwelo kulo muntu.

5. Ngemva kwalokho, dlulela kwezinye izindawo okungenzeka kungabi lula ukuzenzayamukela: "USam uqamba amanga ngezinye izikhathi...njengami," noma "uSam wayezikhukhumezile...njengami," noma "uSam walala nomuntu okwakungafanele abe naye...njengami." Mhlawumbe awuzange uzikhukhumeze amasonto amaningi noma ulale nomuntu ongafanele eminyakeni edlule. Kepha uma uke njalo wenze lezi zinto noma enye into ongaziqhenyi ngayo, vele uphathe lelo qiniso okwesikhashana. Hlala nayo. Ngemuva kwemizuzu embalwa ucabangisisa ngezindlela lo muntu afana nawe, yeka ukucabanga, phakamisa ukubuka kwakho phezulu, bese uphumuza ingqondo yakho. Phumula nganoma iyiphi imizwa evelile. (Ingabe udinga ukukhipha intukuthelo? Zama lokhu kuzindla kwentukuthelo ye-NSFW okwenza kulunge ukuthi ingqondo yakho ingabi nesihlungi.)

Uma ufunda nje ukuthi ungazindla kanjani, kungathatha umkhuba ukwenza ingqondo yakho igxile futhi igxile entweni eyodwa kuphela (ngoba, masithembeke, ubuchopho bethu imvamisa buba namathebhu angaba ngu-10 000 avulekile). Kepha okuhamba phambili ukuthi empeleni awukwazi ukwenza ukuzindla okungalungile. Ngokuka-Rinzler, iphutha elingenzeka kuphela ongayenza "ukuzahlulela kabuhlungu. Yilokho kuphela."

Buyekeza kwe-