Ungamxhasa Kanjani Uzakwenu Esimeni Esibucayi, uKim noKanye

-Delile

• Yiba ngumlaleli ofanele.
• Ungacabangi ukuthi badinga isikhala.
• Zinakekele nawe.
• Buyekeza kwe-

Ngaphandle kokuthi ubugwema yonke imithombo yezindaba ezinsukwini ezimbalwa ezedlule (unenhlanhla!), Cishe uzwile ukuthi uKanye West ulaliswe esibhedlela ngenxa yokukhathala ngesonto eledlule ngemuva kokukhansela okusele kwakhe USaint Pablo ukuvakasha. Yize singayazi imininingwane eqondile yalokho okwenzekile-ngisho nosaziwayo bafanelwe ubumfihlo obuthile uma kuziwa empilweni yabo-Us Weekly ubika ukuthi iWest isasesibhedlela futhi alukho usuku oluqinisekisiwe lokukhishwa.

Unkosikazi kaKyan uKim Kardashian ubelokhu esesandleni sakhe sonke lesi sikhathi, ngokusho komthombo okhulume nalo magazini. Noma ngabe ungumlandeli womndeni wakwaKardashian noma cha, akunakuphikwa ukuthi uKim wenze konke okusemandleni akhe ukusiza uKyan athole ukuphumula nokunakekelwa akudingayo. "UKim ubengeke ashiye uhlangothi lwakhe ngaphandle kokubona izingane," kusho umthombo ngesikhathi kunengxoxo. "Ubelokhu esesibhedlela. UKim ubelokhu emqaphe kakhulu engabavumeli abantu ukuthi bamphazamisile. Kuke kwafona yonke inhlobo yabantu bathumele izimbali, kodwa uqaphe kakhulu ukuthi angamyeki amanxeba. qinisekisa ukuthi uyaphumula futhi uyalulama." Nakanjani kuzwakala sengathi usezandleni ezinhle. (Lapha, uKim uvula ngomzabalazo wakhe wakamuva wokukhathazeka.)

Ngakho-ke uma umlingani wakho edlula entweni efana nale, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi uphukile, ukhathele, noma udlula esikhathini esinzima nje jikelele, ungamsekela kanjani kangcono? Sibe nochwepheshe abathathu abakukalayo ukuthi ungaba kanjani lapho ku-S.O yakho. ngendlela enobubele futhi ephumelelayo.

Yiba ngumlaleli ofanele.

Ukuzwa okushiwo umlingani wakho kubalulekile, kepha uqiniseke ukuthi ulalele ngokukhombisa kubaluleke kakhulu, kusho u-Erika Martinez, Psy.D., isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo esinelayisense eMiami. Yini ukulalela okuguqukayo, ubuza? Empeleni, njengoba ulalela lokho okushiwo umlingani wakho, kufanele uphendule ngokuphindaphinda lokho akutshele khona njengoba ukuqonda, ukukhombisa ukuthi uyazwelana nalokho akuzwayo nabhekene nakho. Ngeshwa, abantu abaningi bayazivikela njengoba belalela futhi becabanga izinto ezishiwo njengokuhlaselwa ngabantu, ”kusho uMartinez. "Ukuze lokhu kusebenze, umlaleli kufanele ahlole i-ego yakhe emnyango." Kuphawulwe ngokufanele.

Kuyasiza futhi ukubuza umlingani wakho ukuthi badingani kuwe okwamanje. "Buza ukuthi ungasiza kanjani ekunciphiseni usizi. Ngabe kukhona ongakwenza noma ongakusho ukwenza izinto zibe ngcono / zibe lula / zizole kubo?" kuphakamisa uMartinez. Kungumqondo omuhle futhi ukucela imvume ngaphambi kokunikeza impendulo noma izincomo ngalokho okufanele ukwenze ngokulandelayo, usho kanje. "Ngemuva kokulalela, abanye abantu bangena ngezixazululo. Esikhundleni salokho zama okuthile okufana nokuthi," Ngingakwazi ukuphawula? "Noma" Ungathanda umbono wami noma ngabe udinga ukuveza? '"Ngaphezu kwalokho, umqondo omuhle ukugwema amagama futhi imishwana efana ne - "'kufanele," "nje," futhi "kufanele," ngoba baphatha izwi eliphansi lokwahlulela-noma ngabe lokho akuyona inhloso yakho.

Ungacabangi ukuthi badinga isikhala.

Kungokwemvelo yabantu abaningi ukuthatha isinyathelo emuva lapho bazi ukuthi omunye umuntu ulimele ukuze umnikeze "isikhala." Kepha ngokusho kuka-Anita Chlipala, umelaphi onelayisense womshado nomndeni futhi ongumnikazi we-Relationship Reality 312, leyo akuyona inkambo ehamba phambili ngaso sonke isikhathi."Uma ubanika isikhala ngaphandle kokuthi basicele, ungazibeka engcupheni yokuthi bakubuke njengokubalahla ngesikhathi sabo sokudinga." Phela, ngeke wazi ukuthi i-S.O yakho. Ufuna noma udinga ngempela uze ukhulume ngakho. “Zonke izithandani zihlukile futhi okubalulekile ukuthi yini esebenza kubo bobabili abalingani,” uyanezela. "Uma kufika inkinga, kwesinye isikhathi kuzoba yisivivinyo kanye nephutha ukuzama ukuthola ukuthi yini esebenzela abashadikazi. Into ebalulekile ukugcina ingxoxo evulekile ukuze nobabili nikwazi ukuvumelana nezimo." (FYI, lawa Amasheke Wobudlelwano Obu-8 Bonke Izithandani Okufanele Zibe Nazo Ukuze Uphile Ngothando Olunempilo.)

Zinakekele nawe.

Kulula ukukhohlwa ngezidingo zakho uma ukhathazekile ngomuntu omthandayo, kepha akufanele ungakunaki ukuzinakekela kwakho kulezi zinhlobo zezimo. "Udinga ukuthatha okungeziwe uzinakekele lapho usiza othile ebunzimeni, "kusho u-Audrey Hope, ongungoti kwezobudlelwano bosaziwayo nomeluleki wezidakamizwa." Uma ninamandla, kulunge kini nobabili. "Noma ngabe izinto zimbi kangakanani, uThemba uncoma ukuthi ukwenza izinto ezimbalwa ezilula ukuzigcina uzizwa ulawula ngesikhathi senhlekelele: Thatha isikhathi sokugeza futhi ushintshe izingubo zakho, uthole umoya opholile nokukhanya kwelanga njalo ngezikhathi ezithile, uthathe ikhefu elifushane ohlangothini lomlingani wakho ukuze udle futhi uzulazule. Izinto ezincane zingenza umehluko omkhulu.

Buyekeza kwe-