Umhlahlandlela Osebenzayo Wokuphulukisa Inhliziyo Ephukile

-Delile

• Amasu okuzinakekela
• Zinike imvume yokudabuka
• Zinakekele
• Hola indlela ekwaziseni abantu ukuthi yini oyidingayo
• Bhala phansi okudingayo (aka 'i-notecard method')
• Phumela ngaphandle
• Funda izincwadi zokuzisiza futhi ulalele ama-podcast
• Zama umsebenzi omuhle
• Funa usizo lochwepheshe
• Imikhuba yokwakha
• Ungazami ukucindezela ubuhlungu
• Zijwayeze ukuzwela
• Dala isikhala ohlelweni lwakho
• Khuthaza amasiko amasha
• Kubhale phansi
• Thola uhlelo lokusekela
• Xhuma nawe
• Izinto okufanele uzigcine engqondweni
• Okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kuvumelekile
• Akuwona umncintiswano
• Alukho usuku lokuphelelwa yisikhathi
• Awukwazi ukukugwema
• Lindela okungalindelekile
• Uzoba nezikhathi zenjabulo
• Kulungile ukungalungi
• Funa ukuzamukela
• Ukufundwa okunconyiwe
• Izinto Ezincane Ezinhle: Izeluleko Zothando Nempilo Ezivela kuShukela Othandekayo
• Ukunqoba Okuncane: Ukubona Izikhathi Zomusa Ezingenakwenzeka
• Ngiyakuthanda Njengesibhakabhaka: Ukusinda Ekuzibulaleni Kothandiweyo
• Ukuhlakanipha Kwenhliziyo Ephukile: Ungabuguqula Kanjani Ubuhlungu Bokwehlukana Bube Ukuphulukisa, Ukuqonda, Nothando Olusha
• Ukuba Ngumuntu: Isikhumbuzo Sokuvuka, Ukuphila Ngempela, Nokulalela Kanzima
• Unyaka Wokucabanga Kwemilingo
• Akunadaka, akukho Lotus
• Ungayelapha Kanjani Inhliziyo Ephukile Ngezinsuku ezingama-30: Umhlahlandlela Wosuku Nosuku Wokuvalelisa Nokuqhubeka Nempilo Yakho
• Izipho Zokungapheleli: Dedela kokuthi Ubani Ocabanga Ukuthi Ukhethelwe Futhi Wamukela Lokho Oyikho
• Okubalulekile

Sifaka imikhiqizo esicabanga ukuthi ilusizo kubafundi bethu. Uma uthenga ngezixhumanisi ezikuleli khasi, singathola ikhomishini encane. Nansi inqubo yethu.

Ubuhlungu benhliziyo yinto ejwayelekile emhlabeni eza nobuhlungu obukhulu benhliziyo nokukhathazeka.

Ngenkathi abantu abaningi behlobanisa inhliziyo ephukile nokuphela kobudlelwano bothando, umelaphi uJenna Palumbo, i-LCPC, ugcizelela ukuthi "usizi luyinkimbinkimbi." Ukushona kothandekayo, ukulahlekelwa umsebenzi, ukushintsha imisebenzi, ukulahlekelwa umngani osondelene - konke lokhu kungakushiya uphuke inhliziyo futhi uzizwe sengathi umhlaba wakho awusoze wafana.

Ayikho indlela ezungezile: ukuphulukisa inhliziyo ephukile kuthatha isikhathi. Kepha kunezinto ongazenza ukuzondla ngokwenqubo yokuphulukisa nokuvikela impilo yakho engokomzwelo.

Amasu okuzinakekela

Kubalulekile ukunakekela izidingo zakho ngemuva kokudabuka kwenhliziyo, noma ngabe ungazizwa njalo ngaso sonke isikhathi.

Zinike imvume yokudabuka

Usizi alufani kuwo wonke umuntu, kusho uPalumbo, futhi into engcono kakhulu ongazenzela yona ukuzinika imvume yokuzwa lonke usizi lwakho, intukuthelo, isizungu, noma icala.

"Kwesinye isikhathi ngokwenza lokho, ungahlosile unikeza labo abaseduze kwakho imizwa yokuzwa usizi lwabo, futhi, ngeke uzizwe sengathi uwedwa kulo." Ungahle uthole ukuthi umngane wakho udlule ebuhlungwini obufanayo futhi unezinkomba ezithile zakho.

Zinakekele

Uma uphakathi kwenhliziyo ebuhlungu, kulula ukukhohlwa ukunakekela izidingo zakho zomuntu siqu. Kodwa ukudabuka akuyona nje into engokomzwelo, futhi kuyakuqeda emzimbeni. Ngempela, ucwaningo lukhombisile ukuthi ubuhlungu obungokomzimba nobungokomzwelo buhamba ezindleleni ezifanayo ebuchosheni.

Ukuphefumula okujulile, ukuzindla, nokuvivinya umzimba kungaba izindlela ezinhle zokugcina amandla akho. Kodwa ungazishayi phezu kwakho, noma. Ukwenza nje umzamo wokudla nokuhlala unamanzi kungahamba ibanga elide. Thatha kancane, usuku olulodwa ngesikhathi.

Hola indlela ekwaziseni abantu ukuthi yini oyidingayo

Wonke umuntu ubhekana nokulahlekelwa ngendlela yakhe, kusho uKristen Carpenter, PhD, isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo eMnyangweni Wezokwelapha Nezengqondo e-The Ohio State University Wexner Medical Center.

Ululeka ukucaca ngokusobala ukuthi ngabe uthanda ukudabuka ngasese, ngokuxhaswa ngabangane abaseduze noma nabantu abaningi abafinyeleleka ngamanethiwekhi omphakathi.

Ukuthola izidingo zakho lapho kuzokusindisa ekuzameni ukucabanga ngokuthile okwamanje, kusho uCarpenter, futhi kuzovumela umuntu ofuna ukukusiza ukuthi akusize futhi enze impilo yakho ibe lula ngokubheka okuthile ohlwini lwakho.

Bhala phansi okudingayo (aka 'i-notecard method')

Isebenza kanjani:

• Hlala phansi wenze uhlu lwalokho okudingayo, kufaka phakathi izidingo zokuxhaswa okubonakalayo nangokomzwelo. Lokhu kungabandakanya ukugunda utshani, ukuthenga ezitolo, noma ukumane ukhulume nocingo.
• Thola inqwaba yamakhadi wamakhadi bese ubhala into eyodwa ekhadini ngalinye.
• Lapho abantu bebuza ukuthi bangasiza kanjani, banikeze ikhadi lokubhala noma ubenze bakhethe okuthile abanomuzwa wokuthi bangakwenza. Lokhu kudambisa ingcindezi yokuchaza izidingo zakho khona lapho lapho othile ebuza.

Phumela ngaphandle

Ucwaningo luthole ukuthi ukuchitha amahora ama-2 kuphela ngeviki ngaphandle kungathuthukisa impilo yakho yengqondo nengokwenyama. Uma ungaphuma uye endaweni ethile enhle, muhle. Kepha ngisho nokuhambahamba njalo endaweni yangakini kungasiza.

Funda izincwadi zokuzisiza futhi ulalele ama-podcast

Ukwazi ukuthi abanye badlule kokuhlangenwe nakho okufanayo futhi baphuma ngakolunye uhlangothi kungakusiza uzizwe ungaphansi wedwa.

Ukufunda incwadi (sithole izincomo ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kule ndatshana) noma ukulalela i-podcast ngokulahleka kwakho okuthile nakho kungakunika ukuqinisekiswa futhi kube yindlela yokusekela ukucubungula imizwa yakho.

Zama umsebenzi omuhle

Bekela eceleni isikhathi nsuku zonke sokwenza okuthile okuzwakala kukuhle, noma ngabe lokho kungukushicilela, ukuhlangana nomngani osondelene naye, noma ukubukela umdlalo okuhlekisa.

Ukuhlela izikhathi ezikulethela injabulo kubalulekile ekwelapheni inhliziyo ephukile.

Funa usizo lochwepheshe

Kubalulekile ukukhuluma ngemizwa yakho nabanye futhi ungazincishi. Lokhu kulula ukukusho kunokukwenza, futhi kuyinto ejwayelekile ngokuphelele ukuthi udinga usizo olwengeziwe.

Uma uthola ukuthi usizi lwakho lukhulu kakhulu ukuba ungaluthwala wedwa, uchwepheshe wezempilo yengqondo angakusiza ubhekane nemizwa ebuhlungu. Ngisho nezikhathi ezimbili noma ezintathu kuphela ezingakusiza ukuthi wakhe amathuluzi amasha wokubhekana.

Imikhuba yokwakha

Ngemuva kokuzinikeza isikhala sokudabuka nokunakekela izidingo zakho, qala ukubheka ekwakheni izindlela ezintsha nemikhuba engakusiza ukuthi uqhubeke nokucubungula ukulahleka kwakho.

Ungazami ukucindezela ubuhlungu

"Ungachithi amandla ngokuzizwa unamahloni noma unecala ngemizwa yakho," kusho uCarpenter. Esikhundleni salokho, “gcina lawo mandla ekwenzeni imizamo ebonakalayo yokuzizwa ungcono futhi welulame.”

Cabanga ukuzinika imizuzu eyi-10 kuye kwengu-15 usuku ngalunye ukuze uvume futhi uzwe ukudabuka kwakho. Ngokuyinaka ngokuzinikezela, ungakuthola kuvela kancane kancane kulo lonke usuku lwakho.

Zijwayeze ukuzwela

Ukuzwela kuhilela ukuziphatha ngothando nangenhlonipho ngenkathi ungazigwebi.

Cabanga ngokuthi ungamphatha kanjani umngani osondelene naye noma ilungu lomndeni elibhekene nesikhathi esinzima. Ungathini kubo? Ungabanikeza ini? Ungabakhombisa kanjani ukuthi uyabakhathalela? Thatha izimpendulo zakho uzisebenzise kuwe.

Dala isikhala ohlelweni lwakho

Lapho ubhekene nesikhathi esinzima, kungaba lula ukuziphazamisa ngemisebenzi. Yize lokhu kungasiza, qiniseka ukuthi usazishiyela isikhala sokucubungula imizwa yakho futhi ube nesikhathi esinqabile.

Khuthaza amasiko amasha

Uma usuqedile ubudlelwano noma ulahlekelwe othandekayo, ungazizwa sengathi ulahlekelwe impilo yonke yamasiko nemikhuba. Amaholide angaba nzima kakhulu.

Vumela abangani nomndeni ukuthi bakusize udale amasiko nezinkumbulo ezintsha. Unganqikazi ukufinyelela kokunye ukwesekwa okwengeziwe ngesikhathi samaholide amakhulu.

Kubhale phansi

Uma usuthole isikhathi esithile sokuhlala nemizwa yakho, ukubhala izindaba kungakusiza ukuyihlela kangcono futhi kukunikeze nethuba lokwehlisa noma yimiphi imizwa okungenzeka kube nzima ukuyaba nabanye.

Nayi inkomba yokuqalisa.

Thola uhlelo lokusekela

Ukuya njalo noma ukuzibandakanya mathupha noma amaqembu okusekela online kunganikeza indawo ephephile ukukusiza ubhekane nakho. Kuyaphilisa futhi ukwabelana ngemizwa nezinselelo zakho nalabo abasezimweni ezifanayo.

Xhuma nawe

Ukudlula ekulahlekelweni okukhulu noma ushintsho kungakushiya uzizwe ungaqiniseki ngawe nokuthi ungubani. Ungakwenza lokhu ngokuxhuma emzimbeni wakho ngokuzivocavoca umzimba, usebenzise isikhathi endalweni, noma ngokuxhuma nezinkolelo zakho zokomoya nezefilosofi.

Izinto okufanele uzigcine engqondweni

Njengoba uhamba inqubo yokwelapha inhliziyo ephukile, kuyasiza ukuba nokulindela okungokoqobo mayelana nenqubo. Kusukela ezingomeni ze-pop kuya kuma-rom-coms, umphakathi unganikeza umbono osontekile wokuthi kuhlanganisani ukudabuka kwenhliziyo empeleni.

Nazi izinto ezimbalwa okufanele uzigcine ngemuva kwengqondo yakho.

Okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho kuvumelekile

Ukushona kothandekayo yiyona ndlela yokudlula yosizi, kuchaza uPalumbo, kodwa usizi olufihliwe lungabukeka njengokulahlekelwa ubungani noma ubuhlobo. Noma mhlawumbe uqala isigaba esisha sempilo yakho ngokushintsha imisebenzi noma ube isidleke esingenalutho.

Noma ngabe kuyini, kubalulekile ukuqinisekisa usizi lwakho. Lokhu kumane kusho ukubona umthelela okube nawo empilweni yakho.

Akuwona umncintiswano

Kungokwemvelo ukuqhathanisa isimo sakho nesabanye, kodwa ukudabuka kwenhliziyo nokudabuka akuwona umncintiswano.

Ukuthi ukulahleka kobungani hhayi ukufa komngani akusho ukuthi inqubo ayifani, kusho uPalumbo. "Ufunda kabusha ukuthi ungaphila kanjani emhlabeni ngaphandle kobudlelwano obubalulekile obukade unabo."

Alukho usuku lokuphelelwa yisikhathi

Usizi alufani kuwo wonke umuntu futhi alunawo uhlelo lwezikhathi. Gwema izitatimende ezinjengokuthi "Kufanele ngabe sengiyaqhubeka manje," futhi uzinikeze sonke isikhathi osidingayo ukuze welaphe.

Awukwazi ukukugwema

Noma kunzima kanjani, kufanele uhambe kuwo. Lapho uhlehlisa ukubhekana nemizwa ebuhlungu, kuzothatha isikhathi eside ukuthi uqale ukuzizwa ungcono.

Lindela okungalindelekile

Njengoba usizi lwakho luguquka, kanjalo nobukhulu kanye nobuningi bokuphuka kwenhliziyo kuyokhula. Ngezinye izikhathi kuzozizwa njengamagagasi athambile afika adlule. Kepha kwezinye izinsuku, kungazwakala njengokufutheka okungalawuleki kwemizwa. Zama ukungakwahluleli ukuthi imizwa yakho ibonakala kanjani.

Uzoba nezikhathi zenjabulo

Khumbula ukuthi kulungile ukuzwa ngokugcwele izikhathi zenjabulo njengoba usosizini. Chitha ingxenye yosuku ngalunye ugxile kumzuzu wamanje, futhi uvumele ukwamukela izinto ezinhle empilweni.

Uma ubhekene nokulahlekelwa othandekayo, lokhu kungahle kuveze imizwa ethile yecala. Kepha ukuthola injabulo nenjabulo kubalulekile ukuze uqhubekele phambili. Futhi ukuziphoqa ukuba uhlale esimweni sengqondo esingesihle ngeke kusiguqule isimo.

Kulungile ukungalungi

Ukulahlekelwa okukhulu, njengokushona kothandekayo, kuzobukeka kwehluke kakhulu kokwenqaba umsebenzi, kusho umelaphi uVictoria Fisher, uLMSW. "Kuzona zozimbili lezi zimo, kubalulekile ukuvumela ukuthi uzizwe ukuthi uzizwa kanjani futhi ukhumbule ukuthi kulungile ukuthi kungalungi."

Noma ngabe wenza konke okusemandleni ukubhekana nobuhlungu benhliziyo yakho, mhlawumbe uzobe usenezinsuku zokuphumula. Bathathe njengoba befika bese bezama futhi kusasa.

Funa ukuzamukela

Ungalindeli ukuthi ukuhlupheka kwakho kuzophela ngokushesha kunangesikhathi sokulungile. Zama ukwamukela iqiniso lakho elisha bese uqonde ukuthi usizi lwakho luzothatha isikhashana ukuphola.

Ukufundwa okunconyiwe

Lapho ubhekene nobuhlungu benhliziyo, izincwadi zingaba kokubili ukuphazamiseka nethuluzi lokuphulukisa. Akudingeki ukuthi babe izincwadi ezinkulu zokuzisiza, noma. Ukulandisa komuntu siqu kokuthi abanye baphila kanjani osizini kungaba namandla ngendlela efanayo.

Nazi ezinye izihloko ukuze uqalise.

Izinto Ezincane Ezinhle: Izeluleko Zothando Nempilo Ezivela kuShukela Othandekayo

UCheryl Strayed, umbhali wencwadi ethengwa kakhulu ethi "Wild," wahlanganisa imibuzo nezimpendulo kwikholamu yakhe yezeluleko eyayingaziwa ngaphambili. Impendulo ngayinye ejulile inikeza izeluleko ezinokuqonda nezinozwelo kunoma ngubani ohlangabezane nokulahleka okuhlukahlukene kubandakanya ukungathembeki, umshado ongenaluthando, noma ukufa emndenini.

Thenga online.

Ukunqoba Okuncane: Ukubona Izikhathi Zomusa Ezingenakwenzeka

Umbhali owaziwayo u-Anne Lamott wethula izindaba ezijulile, ezithembekile nezingalindelekile ezisifundisa ukuthi singajikela kanjani othandweni ngisho nasezimweni ezingenathemba kakhulu. Vele wazi ukuthi kunamanye amagama aphansi enkolo emsebenzini wakhe.

Thenga online.

Ngiyakuthanda Njengesibhakabhaka: Ukusinda Ekuzibulaleni Kothandiweyo

Isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo nomuntu owasinda ekuzibulaleni uDkt Sarah Neustadter uhlinzeka ngemephu yomgwaqo enqamula imizwa eyinkimbinkimbi yosizi futhi eguqula ukuphelelwa yithemba kube wubuhle.

Thenga online.

Ukuhlakanipha Kwenhliziyo Ephukile: Ungabuguqula Kanjani Ubuhlungu Bokwehlukana Bube Ukuphulukisa, Ukuqonda, Nothando Olusha

Ngobuhlakani bakhe obunomusa, obukhuthazayo, uSusan Piver unikeza izincomo zokululama ekuhlukumezeni kwenhliziyo ephukile. Cabanga ngakho njengodokotela wokubhekana nosizi nokudumala kokwehlukana.

Thenga online.

Ukuba Ngumuntu: Isikhumbuzo Sokuvuka, Ukuphila Ngempela, Nokulalela Kanzima

Yize ecishe abe yisithulu futhi ezwa nokulahlekelwa kukayise okuqeda amandla esemncane, umbhali uJennifer Pastiloff wafunda ukuthi angakha kanjani impilo yakhe kabusha ngokulalela ngonya nokunakekela abanye.

Thenga online.

Unyaka Wokucabanga Kwemilingo

Kunoma ngubani ohlangabezane nokushona ngokuzumayo komuntu oshade naye, uJoan Didion unikeza isithombe esingaqondile nesithembekile somshado nempilo esihlola ukugula, ukuhlukumezeka, nokufa.

Thenga online.

Akunadaka, akukho Lotus

Ngozwela nokulula, umonki ongumBuddha kanye nombaleki waseVietnam uThich Nhat Hanh uhlinzeka ngemikhuba yokwamukela ubuhlungu nokuthola injabulo yangempela.

Thenga online.

Ungayelapha Kanjani Inhliziyo Ephukile Ngezinsuku ezingama-30: Umhlahlandlela Wosuku Nosuku Wokuvalelisa Nokuqhubeka Nempilo Yakho

UWoward Bronson noMike Riley bakuholela ekululameni kusukela ekugcineni kobudlelwano bothando ngokuqonda kanye nokuzivocavoca okuhloselwe ukukusiza welaphe futhi wakhe ukuqina.

Thenga online.

Izipho Zokungapheleli: Dedela kokuthi Ubani Ocabanga Ukuthi Ukhethelwe Futhi Wamukela Lokho Oyikho

Ngokuxoxa kwakhe okusuka enhliziyweni, okuthembekile, uBrené Brown, PhD, ubheka ukuthi singaluqinisa kanjani ukuxhumana kwethu nezwe futhi sihlakulele imizwa yokuzamukela nothando.

Thenga online.

Okubalulekile

Iqiniso elinzima lokulahlekelwa ukuthi lingashintsha impilo yakho unomphela. Kuzoba nezikhathi lapho uzizwa unqotshwa ubuhlungu benhliziyo. Kepha kuzoba khona abanye lapho ubona inhlansi yokukhanya.

Ngolunye usizi, njengoba uFisher esho, "kuyindaba yokusinda isikhashana uze kancane kancane wakhe impilo entsha, ehlukile enendawo evulekile yosizi lapho luvela."

UCindy Lamothe yintatheli ezimele ezinze eGuatemala. Ubhala kaningi ngemiphambanandlela phakathi kwezempilo, inhlalakahle, nesayensi yokuziphatha komuntu. Ubhalelwe i-The Atlantic, New York Magazine, Teen Vogue, Quartz, The Washington Post, nezinye eziningi. Mthole ku- utbindani.com.