Indlela Ongayeka Ngayo Ukuqaphela

-Delile

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USolange Castro Belcher wazithembisa ukuthi ngeke acabange ngamafries aseFrance. Wayezama ukwehlisa amakhilogremu ambalwa, futhi ukuzithokozisa okukodwa okwakwenza ukuthi adle ukudla kwakhe kwaba uhambo oluya eGolden Arches. Into ehlekisayo, noma kunjalo: Lapho uBelcher, oneminyaka engama-29, ezama ukungacabangi ngamafry, kulapho avela kaningi emicabangweni yakhe. Umhleli wengosi ye-Internet, ohlala eMarina Del Rey, eCalif, uthi: “Ngangilokhu ngikuphusha engqondweni yami, kodwa kwakulokhu kuvela njalo. Ngaphambi kokuthi azi, wayefaka i-oda lakhe ewindini lokushayela.

Abaningi bethu baye baba nesipiliyoni esifana nesikaBelcher. Noma ngabe kuthosiwe amaFulentshi, umfana ozama ukumthola noma isimo esibi emsebenzini, kungabonakala sengathi imizamo yakho yokuqeda imicabango engafuneki imbi kakhulu kunaleyo engenamsebenzi.

"Ucwaningo lwethu mayelana nokucindezelwa kwemicabango luthole ukuthi lapho uzama kakhulu ukungacabangi ngokuthile, kulapho ukhathazeka kakhulu ngalowo mcabango," kusho uDaniel Wegner, Ph.D., uprofesa wezengqondo eHarvard University futhi ongumbhali we Amabhele Amhlophe Neminye Imicabango Engafuneki (Viking Penguin, 1989). U-Wegner ubiza lokhu "ngomphumela wokuphindaphinda," futhi uthi kwenzeka ngenxa yendlela izingqondo zethu ezisebenza ngayo.

Uma ucindezelekile, uyabheka

Uma uzitshela ukuthi, "Ungacabangi ngoshokoledi," ungahle ube nezinhloso zokungacabangi ngezinto ezi-yummy. Kepha kwenye indawo ngemuva kwekhanda lakho, uhlala uhlola ukubona ukuthi uqhuba kanjani - "Ngabe ngicabanga ngoshokoledi?" - nokuthi ukuqapha kwengqondo njalo kusiza ukugcina umcabango ukhona. Lapho uWegner eyala izifundo zakhe zokufunda ukuthi zingacabangi ngebhere elimhlophe, ngokwesibonelo, basebenze kanzima beqeda lesi sithombe kangangokuba kungekudala ibhere elimhlophe yilokho ababengakucabanga.

Nazi izindaba ezimbi impela: Ungahle ungakwazi ukushiya umcabango lapho udinga kakhulu - okungukuthi, lapho uzizwa uphansi noma ucindezelekile. Ukuzama ngenkuthalo ukungacabangi ngokuthile kuwumsebenzi onzima wobuchopho bethu, futhi lapho amandla ethu engqondo ephansi, kuba nzima kakhulu ukugcina umcabango owenqatshelwe ufihlwe.

“Uma ukhathele ngempela, noma uphazamisekile, noma ungaphansi kohlobo oluthile lwengcindezi yesikhathi, usengozini enkulu yokuba nemicabango engafunwa,” kusho uRalph Erber, Ph.D., isazi sokucindezelwa komcabango kanye noprofesa wezengqondo IDePaul University eChicago. Ukuvela futhi kwale micabango, nakho kukwenza uzizwe ukhathazeka kakhulu noma ucindezelekile.

Ukuphika akusebenzi

Ukucindezelwa komcabango kungathinta isimo sakho sengqondo nangezinye izindlela. Ngomzamo wokugwema isihloko esisetshenziswayo, ungahle ube matasa ngokwedlulele noma ube matasa. Lokho kuyiqiniso ikakhulukazi uma uzama ukungacabangi ngokuthile okubalulekile, njengokuhlukana kwamuva. "Izinto eziningi kungenzeka zihlobene nobudlelwano obulahlekile esingacabangi ngokujulile nganoma yini," kusho uJames W. Pennebaker, Ph.D., uprofesa wesayensi yokusebenza kwengqondo eNyuvesi yaseTexas kanye nochwepheshe wezimo zemizwa.

Ukuze sisheshe futhi sidlule ekulahlekelweni, kungenzeka siqonde izincazelo ezingenasisekelo noma esizibeka sazo sokuthi kungani kwenzeke lokho. Uma singazivumeli ukuthi sicabange ngobudlelwano nokuphela kwabo, ngeke sikwazi ukuhlunga futhi sibhekane nezinkinga abazibandakanyayo.

Ukucindezelwa komcabango, ngemuva kwakho konke, kungaba uhlobo lokuphika -- uma ungacabangi ngesigameko esibi, mhlawumbe asizange senzeke ngempela. Inkinga ngaleli su ukuthi awukwazi ukukhohlisa ubuchopho bakho: Izolokhu iletha imicabango yomcimbi uze ubhekane ngqo nawo.

Ukuzama ukunqanda izinkinga ezingokomzwelo kungalimaza ngisho nempilo yakho. Ukucindezela kunzima emzimbeni nasengqondweni, futhi “ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kuthunaza kancane kancane izivikelo zomzimba, kuthinte ukusebenza kwamasosha omzimba, ukusebenza kwenhliziyo nemithambo yegazi, nokusebenza kwamakhemikhali ezinto eziphilayo ebuchosheni nasezimisweni zezinzwa,” kubhala uPennebaker. kokuthi Ukuvula: Amandla Okuphulukisa Okuveza Imizwa (Guilford, 1997).

Imibono eyisithupha yokuphambanisa

Lezi zinyathelo zinikeza indlela yokuphuma ogibeni lokucindezela umcabango:

Susa izingcabango ekubukeni. I-trigger yinoma iyiphi into engakukhumbuza umcabango ongafuneki, njengesipho owakunika sona i-ex yakho. Uma kukhulunywa ngalezi zinto, ngaphandle kokubona akukho engqondweni.

Zama izinto ezintsha. Noma ushintsha indawo lapho uthola khona ikhofi lakho lasekuseni noma ijimu oya kuyo ngemuva komsebenzi, mancane amathuba okuthi uhlangane nezinkomba ezijwayelekile. Ukwenza umsebenzi omusha wokuzilibazisa, ukwakha umngane omusha noma ukuthatha uhambo nakho kungasiza.

Ziphazamise -- indlela efanele. Sivame ukuzama ukuziphambukisa ngezinto esizihlwithe endaweni esikuyo (sibuka ngefasitela, sigqolozele umfantu ophahleni). Kepha ngokwenza njalo, izinto esizibonayo ngaso sonke isikhathi ziba "nokungcoliswa" ngumcabango esizama ukukugwema. Isu elingcono ukukhetha isiphazamisi: Khetha isithombe esisodwa ozosikhumbuza lapho imicabango engamukelekile ingena: umbono wolwandle olushiswe yilanga, isibonelo.

Gxila emsebenzini. “Sithole ukuthi uma unikeza abantu umsebenzi onzima ngendlela ethokozisayo, unakekela kakhulu imicabango yabo ephazamisayo,” kusho uRalph Erber kaDe Paul. Unikeza izifundo zakhe izinkinga zezibalo noma imidlalo yamagama, kepha umqondo usebenza kunoma yimuphi umsebenzi okubandakanya ngokweqiniso - ukukhuphuka kwamatshe, ukufunda, ukupheka isidlo esimnandi. Ezemidlalo nokuzivocavoca kuhle kakhulu, ngoba zengeza izinzuzo zomzimba zokuphumula emiklomelweni yengqondo yokumuncwa.

Ziveze. Uma kubonakala sengathi awuyeki ukucabanga ngempi obukade ulwa nesoka lakho noma inkulumo eyenziwe ngunyoko, sekuyisikhathi sokuveza leyo micabango. Kungase kubonakale kungenangqondo ukuhlala phezu kwaso kanye isihloko ozama ukusibalekela, kodwa umehluko obalulekile wukuthi ukhetha ukuthi uzoyikhuluma nini futhi kuphi, esikhundleni sokuthi ikunyonyobe. Engxoxweni nomngane noma esikhathini sokubhala nejenali yakho, hlola isigameko esibuhlungu kanye nencazelo yaso empilweni yakho.

Bona lapho ukhathele noma ucindezelekile nokuthi udinga ukuphumula. Lapho ukhululekile futhi uphumule kahle, uzoba nezindlela ezingcono zokubhekana nezinkinga kunokuzama ukuzicindezela eceleni.

Uma uhlushwa imicabango ephindaphindayo ongeke ukwazi ukuyisusa, ungase ufune ukufuna usizo kumeluleki oqeqeshiwe.

Ngokuqondene neBelcher, ubonile ukuthi uma engaduduli imicabango yamafrimu aseFrance, empeleni eza kancane. Uma umcabango ufika kuye manje, uphendulela ingqondo yakhe kusiphazamisi sakhe asithandayo -- umdlalo wesikrini asebenza kuso -- noma aphumele emnyango ukuze agijime ngokushesha. "Ukukhathazeka" kwakhe sehlile, futhi manje useyakwazi ukushayela edlula lapho kuhlangana khona ukudla okusheshayo - ngaphandle kokucabanga kabili.

Ukucindezelwa komcabango nokuncipha kwesisindo: okwenzayo nokungamelwe ukwenze

Yize izinhlelo eziningi nezincwadi zokudla ziphakamisa ukucindezela imicabango yokudla, "konke esikwaziyo mayelana nokucindezelwa komcabango kusikisela ukuthi ngeke kusebenze, futhi impela, kunethuba elihle lokuthi kuzokwenza izinto zibe zimbi kakhulu," kusho isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo uPeter Herman, Ph. D., weYunivesithi yaseToronto eCanada. UHerman ungumbhali wencwadi ethi "Mental Control of Eating: Excitatory and Inhibitory Food Thoughts," isahluko sencwadi yango-1993 ekhuluma ngokulawulwa kwengqondo ehlelwe nguDaniel Wegner waseHarvard, Ph.D.

Okungafanele ukwenze

Ungasunduzi kude nemicabango yokudla lapho uzama ukunciphisa isisindo. Ngokusho kukaHerman, "ucwaningo lwethu lukhombisa ukuthi ukuzama ukucindezela imicabango yokudla kwenza ukuthi ama-dieters azizwe elambile futhi acabange ngokudla kakhulu. Kubenza futhi bakulangazelele ukudla abakuthandayo kakhulu, bakudle ngokushesha lokho lapho bengakwazi khona, futhi bakudle kakhulu kunalokho abebengakudla babe ngenye indlela. "

Ungeqi ukudla. I-Dieters elambile ikakhulukazi ingase izame ukucindezela imicabango yokudla - okwenza leyo micabango iphazamise nakakhulu.

Okwakho

Yidla ukudla okusesilinganisweni okuthandayo. Uma ungalambile, futhi lapho ungadingi ukucindezela imicabango yokudla okwenqatshelwe, mancane amathuba okuthi ucabange.

Yazi ukuthi ukucindezela eceleni imicabango yokudla kuzoba nzima kakhulu. Ngoba ukucindezelwa kokucabanga kuphumelela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, futhi ngoba amakhilogremu ambalwa okugcina kungaba nzima kakhulu ukulahleka, ukucindezela imicabango yokudla kuba nzima uma udla isikhathi eside. UHerman ukholelwa ukuthi kungcono kakhulu ukuthi ungadli nhlobo, kodwa udle kakhulu ukudla okunempilo okusesilinganisweni futhi uzivocavoce njalo. Yilokho okwenzayo ngokujwayelekile okubalulekile.

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