Susa isithukuthezi ngaphandle kwegumbi lokulala

-Delile

• Buyekeza kwe-

Ekuqaleni kobudlelwane bakho, bekunogesi, uthando, nocansi nsuku zonke, uma kungenjalo ngehora! Ngemva kweminyaka, kuyinselele ukukhumbula isikhathi sokugcina ninqunu ndawonye. (NgoLwesine olwedlule-noma linda, bekuyinyanga edlule?) Akumangazi uma ungakhumbuli: Izithandani eziningi ezizibophezele aziwashisi kakhulu amashidi njengakuqala, imvamisa ngenxa yokuthi abesifazane sebephelelwe yisifiso. Kokunye ukuhlola okuhilela abesifazane abangaba ngu-1 000, abacwaningi bathola ukuthi amaphesenti angu-65 alabo abathandanayo isikhathi esingangonyaka noma ngaphansi babika ukuthi bafuna ukuya ocansini njalo, uma kuqhathaniswa namaphesenti angu-26 kuphela abesifazane asebeneminyaka emithathu beshadile. Ngaphandle kokulimaza impilo yakho yothando, ukuntula intshisekelo ocansini yizindaba ezimbi empilweni yakho. "Ucwaningo oluningi lukhombisa ukuthi abantu abaphila ngokuhlanganyela ucansi banesifo senhliziyo esincane, amandla akhuphukayo, kanye namasosha omzimba aqinile," kusho uBeverly Whipple, Ph.D., umcwaningi wezocansi eVorhees, eNew Jersey, kanye nombhali ohlangene we-. Isayensi Ye-Orgasm. Nazi izizathu eziyisithupha zangempela zokuphila kwakho okungenzeka ukuthi isifiso sakho sobulili sinciphile, kanye nezinyathelo ezilula zokukusiza ukuthi uphinde uxhumane nohlangothi lwakho lwenyama.

"Ngicindezeleke kakhulu."

Izinga lokukhathazeka eliphakeme esibhakabhakeni lingaluqeda kalula uthando. "Ukucindezeleka kuphakamisa ukukhiqizwa kwamahomoni okulwa noma okundiza njenge-cortisol, evimbela impendulo yokuphumula edingekayo ezigabeni zokuqala zokuvuka," kusho u-Myrtle Wilhite, M.D., umcwaningi wezempilo yezocansi eMadison, Wisconsin. Ukwehlisa ama-hormone okucindezela, cindezela okungenani imizuzu engama-30 yokuzivocavoca ngosuku-futhi uma kungenzeka, hlela ukuzivocavoca umzimba kwakho eduze nesikhathi ohlela ukusithola siqondile. Abacwaningi eNyuvesi yaseBritish Columbia bathola ukuthi abesifazane bavukwa inkanuko yokubuka ifilimu evusa inkanuko lapho bezivocavoca imizuzu engu-20 ngaphambili. "Ngisho nokuhamba ngesivinini kungakusiza uvule ngokushesha ngokwanda kokugeleza kwegazi, okukhulisa umuzwa," kuchaza uWilhite. Ibhonasi: Ukwenza ucansi nakho kuyinkinga enkulu yokucindezeleka. "Uzozizwa ukhululeke kakhudlwana ngemva kokwenza uthando ngoba i-orgasm yandisa amazinga e-hormone epholile i-oxytocin, edala umuzwa opholile, nobuthongo," kusho u-Anita Clayton, MD, uprofesa emnyangweni wesayensi yengqondo ne-neurobehavioral. University of Virginia nombhali we Ukwaneliseka: Abesifazane, Ubulili, Nokufuna Ukusondelana.

"Nginesithukuthezi ngocansi. Ngincamela ukubukela imovie emnandi."

Zimbalwa izinto ezingavuselela uthando lwakho, kahle, uthando lwakho ngempumelelo kunokwazi ukuthi unovuthondaba olunamandla oluphambi kwakho. Ukukhiqiza ama-orgasms aqine futhi ajabulise kakhulu kungenye yezinzuzo zokuzivocavoca njalo phansi kwe-pelvic, indwayimane yemisipha esekela isinye, urethra, kanye nesitho sangasese sowesifazane. (Yimisipha efanayo ekuvumela ukuthi umise ukugeleza komchamo phakathi nendawo.) Olunye ucwaningo olwenziwe kuyi-Journal of Clinical Psychiatry luthole ukuthi abesifazane abanezitezi ezithambile zezitho zangasese babemancane amathuba okuthi babe nama-orgasms kunalawo anamandla. Nansi indlela yokunikeza le misipha, eqhubeka iba buthaka ngokuya ngeminyaka, ukujima, okuvame ukwaziwa ngokuthi ama-Kegels: Cabanga nge-pelvic floor yakho njengekheshi elikhuphuka izindiza ezine, izinga eliphezulu ukhalo lwakho. Phakamisa bese ucindezela ukuze ukhuphukele esitezi ngasinye, ubambe isekhondi kukho konke "ukuma." Bese wehla futhi, isitezi esisodwa ngesikhathi. Ukuze uthole imiphumela ephezulu, phinda izikhathi eziyishumi kabili noma kathathu ngosuku.

Ukuqhubeka nokuvuselela isifiso, cabanga ngaphandle kwekamelo lokulala. Zama ukuphinda uvuselele ukuqala kwezinsuku zakho zokuqala zokuphola ngokwenza okuthile okuhlukile ndawonye. Imisebenzi ehamba phambili yileyo edonsa i-adrenaline, njengokugibela i-roller coaster, ukufunda ukuntweza, noma ukubuka into ethokozisayo egcwele isenzo. "Ukuthola lokho kugijima kwenhliziyo kuyakushukumisa ngokomzimba, kuthuthukise ubuhlobo bakho bobulili," kusho uTerri Orbuch, Ph.D., uprofesa wocwaningo eNyuvesi yaseMichigan.

>"I-foreplay yakhe idinga umsebenzi. Angikaze ngivulwe."

Ukungena ngaphansi kwezembozo kungafaneleka njenge-foreplay kuye, kepha abesifazane abaningi badinga ukufudunyezwa okuningi. Umgomo wakho? Ukubuyisa lokho kulangazelela uzizwe lapho nihlangana okokuqala. Vumela ukulangazela kwakheke ngokuhlaba okuhlongozwayo kwesikhathi sokudla noma ukudlala ngothando okuyisidala. "Kwenze umkhuba ukuthinta umlingani wakho kaningi, noma ngabe umdlula phambi kwakhe ephaseji noma udlala ngempama yakhe," kweluleka uLana Holstein, M.D., owelapha ucansi oqhuba uhlelo lwezithandani eMiraval Spa eTucson, e-Arizona. Uma ususegumbini lokulala, hlola ngale kwamaphoyinti ajwayelekile okuzijabulisa. "Ukukhuthazeka kwezindlebe nentamo kungavusa kakhulu," kusho uWhipple. Zama ngezinhlobo ezahlukene zokuxhumana nazo, njengokukitaza nokumasaja.

"Ngikhuluphele muva nje futhi angizizwa nginjengomuntu onomdlandla."

Kungokwemvelo ukucabanga ukuthi awufiseki uma uthwele amaphawundi ambalwa engeziwe. Kepha kholwa noma ungakukholwa, mhlawumbe umlingani wakho akakubonanga. Okubalulekile ukuthi ukhumbule ukuthi uyathandeka, kusho u-Orbuch. Zama indlela yakhe yokuthuthukisa ukuzethemba njalo uma uzibuka esibukweni: Thola okungenani izimfanelo ezinhlanu zomzimba ozithandayo, kungakhathaliseki ukuthi zincane kangakanani. Uthande amathole akho amile kahle? Ubusiswe ngezinqe ezigobekayo? Ukugcina lezi zimfanelo engqondweni kuzokhulisa ukuzethemba komzimba wakho- "Ngakho-ke kuthiwani uma ngikhuphuke ngosayizi? Nginama-cheekbones amangalisayo" -kukusiza uzizwe ukhululekile esikhunjeni sakho (unqunu).

"Simatasa kakhulu."

Kulesi sikhathi sokuba ngumzali wethimba lamathegi namaviki okusebenza angamahora angama-60, kuya ngokuya kube nzima ukuhlala uxhumekile. Kodwa ucwaningo lwakamuva oluvela eNyuvesi yase-Arizona lubonisa ukuthi imibhangqwana eshadile ikhanukelana kakhulu phakathi nezikhathi zokuhlangana okukhulu ngokomzwelo. Enye indlela yokuqala ukuxhuma kabusha ukukhipha i-TV egumbini lokulala: Imibhangqwana ngaphandle kwabo iya ocansini ngokuphindwe kabili kunaleyo enabo, ngokusho kocwaningo lwase-Italy. Sebenzisa isikhathi sakho sangaphambi kokubuthisa ukukhuluma esikhundleni salokho, kweluleka uprofesa wase-University of Minnesota uPaul Rosenblatt, Ph.D., umbhali Ababili Embhedeni. "Uma abalingani bekhulumisana, bathintana kakhulu, okungagcina kuholele ocansini," kuchaza yena. Kufanele futhi uzame ukubaleka izikhathi ezimbalwa ngonyaka, ngisho noma uvele untshontshe uye ehhotela edolobheni lakho. "Uma ukhululeke ngokwengeziwe futhi unesikhathi esikhululekile, uzoba nobulili obuningi," kuchaza u-Alice Domar, Ph.D., isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo eBeth Israel Deaconness Medical Center eBoston.

>"Akubonakali ukungena kuyo."

Akufanele yini amadoda acabange ngocansi, njengokuthi, njalo ngemizuzwana emihlanu? Manje kungani kubonakala sengathi uhlala ebheka i-imeyili noma ebuka i-TV esikhundleni sokukuyengele egumbini lokulala? Izinkinga ezisehhovisi noma ukukhathazeka ngezimali zakho kungathikameza ucansi lwakhe, kusho uHolstein. “Amadoda ajwayele ukungabelani ngalokho okubahluphayo, ngakho-ke kungenzeka ungazi nokuthi kukhona okungahambi kahle,” kuchaza yena. "Kodwa uma egcina izinto kuwe, angase azizwe ekude kakhulu ngokomzwelo nangokomzimba." Buza imibuzo ukuze avule isifuba; ukukhuluma ngezinto ezimkhathazayo kuyomsiza abone ukuthi akudingekile ukuba azixazulule eyedwa. Enye incazelo ye-libido yakhe eyehlisiwe: Uma ubulokhu wenqaba intuthuko yakhe muva nje, angahle akhungatheke. "Akekho ofuna ukwaliwa kaninginingi," kusho uHolstein. "Ngemuva kwesikhashana ubala ukuthi awunantshisekelo, futhi uyeka ukuzama kaningi." Uma umlingani wakho ephakamisa ucansi uma ungaluthandi, ungamnqabeli ngokuqondile. Esikhundleni salokho, cela isheke lemvula bese uthola isikhathi esingaba ngcono kuwe-njengokuvusa isigamu sehora ngaphambi kweseshini evuselelayo phakathi kwamashidi ngaphambi komsebenzi.

Buyekeza kwe-