Ukufunda Ukuyeka

-Delile

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Awukwazi ukuyeka i-ex yakho, ufisa sengathi ngabe uchithe isikhathi esincane emsebenzini nesikhathi esithe xaxa nezingane, unekhabethe eligcwele izingubo ezingalingani - kepha awukwazi ukubekezelela ukuhlukana nalo . Ngabe lezi zimo zifana ngani? "Zonke ziyakusinda, zikushiya unamathele esikhathini esedlule," kusho uRyan Howes, Ph.D., isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo ePasadena, eCalifornia. Siphendukele kochwepheshe ukuthola izindlela ezingcono kakhulu zokudlula ezindabeni ezibalulekile: Intukuthelo, ukuzisola, i-ex yakho nezingubo ezingalingani. Ukufunda ukuthi ungakuyeka kanjani akulula, kepha kuyanelisa ngokumangazayo, kukushiye unegumbi empilweni yakho lokuthola okuthile okungcono kakhulu.

Indlela Yokuyeka Intukuthelo

Nakuba kungokwemvelo ukucasuka lapho othile ekwenza okubi, kuba yingozi uma ungakwazi ukuyeka ukugxila kukho. "Ukuphindaphinda ukona ngokomqondo kuwumjikelezo ongapheli ovele ukhulise ukucasuka kwakho futhi kukuqede amandla," kusho uSonja Lyubomirsky, Ph.D., umcwaningi waseNyuvesi yaseCalifornia, eRiverside.

Abaphenyi basikisela ukubhala phansi konke okwenzekile nokuthi uzizwe kanjani ngakho. "Sona kanye isenzo sokubhala amagama ephepheni sikuphoqa ukuthi uthathe isinyathelo ubuyele emuva, ube nenhloso ethe xaxa, bese ubeka imizwa yakho," kusho uLyubomirsky. "Ukungena kumodi yokuhlaziya kwenza lesi sigameko singabi ngesomuntu uqobo futhi kukuvumela ukuthi uqonde izizathu zalokho ukuze ukwazi ukusidedela."

INDLELA YOKUJABULA: 7 izimfihlo zabantu abahlala njalo

Ungakuyeka Kanjani Ukuzisola

Bambalwa abantu abadlula empilweni ngaphandle kokuzibuza ukuthi iyiphi indlela engathathwanga noma bafisa ukuthi ngabe benze isinqumo esihlukile emgwaqeni obalulekile. "Lokho kuyingxenye yokuba ngumuntu," kusho uCaroline Adams Miller, umbhali Ukudala Ukuphila Kwakho Okungcono Kakhulu. "Ukuqagela okwesibili ngokuvamile kuqala eminyakeni engu-20 ezintweni ezifana nokungasheshi ubudlelwano noma ukukhetha isikhulu esingalungile ekolishi. Futhi phakathi nokuphila, ukungabaza kwakho kungenzeka kube mayelana nokukhetha okudlule-ukuthi awuzange uyeke iminyaka yomsebenzi engagculisi. phambilini noma ube nezingane ngenkathi usemncane. "

Uma uzithola njalo ubuza ukuthi, "Kuthiwani uma?" lokho kuyisibonakaliso sokuthi kukhona okushodayo empilweni yakho, futhi kufanele ucabangele ukulalela lawo maphupho emini, kusho uMiller. Isibonelo, uma uzishaya indiva ukuthi uzitholele umsebenzi ozinzile esikhundleni sokuphishekela uthando lwakho lokulingisa, zama ukukhiqizwa kwethiyetha yendawo yangakini futhi ubone ukuthi kwenzekani.

OKWENGEZIWE: Ungazi kanjani ukuthi sekuyisikhathi sokwenza ushintsho olukhulu empilweni

Akukhona konke ukuzisola okulula ukukuyeka. UMiller uthi ezimeni lapho ungeke ukwazi ukubuyela emuva futhi wenze yonke into ilunge, kufanele uqaphele ukuthi wenze konke okusemandleni akho ngaleso sikhathi. Kodwa ungazivumeli ngokuphelele. “Yilezo zinhlungu zecala ezisisiza ukuba sibe abantu abangcono,” kusho uMiller. "Mhlawumbe kukhona uhlobo lwezinyathelo ongazithatha manje ukulungisa izinto."

Ungayiyeka Kanjani Imizwa Nge-Ex Yakho

Ubudlelwano obudlule buvamise ukuzwakala njengokufa ngokusho kukaTerri Orbuch, umbhali we Izinyathelo ezi-5 ezilula zokuthatha umshado wakho kusuka kokuhle uye kokukhulu. “Enye yezinto okunzima ukwamukela ukuphela kobudlelwano bothando,” usho kanje. Futhi, ngenhliziyo nengqondo yakho kudliwe yi-ex yakho, alikho ithuba lokuthi uthole umfana omangalisayo olandelayo.

Uma usathandana nesoka lakho elidala, likhiphe empilweni yakho. Okokuqala, lahla zonke izinto onazo ezikukhumbuza ngaye. Yenza iphuzu lokugwema ama-haunts akho amadala bese uzama ukufaka esikhundleni semikhuba oyenzile njengombhangqwana ngemisha.

Okulandelayo, u-Orbuch uthi, zibuze ukuthi uyamkhumbula ngempela noma uma unesizungu. Kuvale: Bhala phansi izimfanelo ezinhlanu ezibalulekile kuwe bese ubona ukuthi ziyafana yini nalokho ayekunikeza kona. "Isikhathi esiningi, owake wakudala wayengenakho okudingayo nokufunayo," kusho u-Orbuch. Awukaqiniseki? Buza abangani bakho nomndeni wakho ngombono wabo. "Sivame ukukhohlwa okubi futhi sigxile kokuhle," kusho u-Orbuch. "Kodwa abanye abantu empilweni yethu abakwenzi."

UMBUZO: Uwedwa noma unesizungu?

Ungazivumela Kanjani Izingubo Ezingalingani

Ungase ucabange ukuthi ikhabethe eligcwele izingubo ezincane kakhulu isisusa sokulahla amakhilogremu ayi-10 kepha empeleni kuphambene. "Lawo mabhulukwe osayizi 6 azobukeka ephelele lapho uncipha emzimbeni acishe abe ngekusasa ocabanga ukuthi ulincanyana kuwe," kusho uPeter Walsh, umbhali we Khanyisa: Thanda Lokho Onakho, Yiba Nalokho Okudingayo, Jabula Ngokuncane. "Kodwa zikuholela ekutheni uzizwe wehlulekile." Ukugcina isethi "yezingubo ezinonile" kunciphisa okufanayo, kusikisela ukuthi ungakhuluphala noma kunini.

Isixazululo akuyona isayensi ye-rocket. "Dlula kuzo zonke izingxenye," kusho uWalsh. Zibuze, ‘Ingabe lokhu kuyanezela ukuphila kwami ​​manje?’ "Yiba nesihluku. Uma impendulo inguye, zinikele. Ngokukhipha izingubo zokulangazelela, ukhulula isikhala sezingcezu ezenza umzimba wakho wamanje ubukeke umangalisa.

YENZA NGAPHANSI KWE-CLOSET YAKHO: Hlela ikhabethe lakho nempilo yakho

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