Izinyathelo ezi-5 zokubhekana kangcono nosizi

-Delile

• Izigaba eziyinhloko zokulila
• 1. Ukuphika nokuzihlukanisa
• 2. Intukuthelo
• 3. Ukuxoxisana
• 4. Ukucindezeleka
• 5. Ukwamukela
• Ungayinqoba kanjani inqubo yokudabuka
• Ungabhekana kanjani nosizi ezinganeni
• Uzoya nini kudokotela wezengqondo noma kudokotela wezifo zengqondo

Usizi luyimpendulo ejwayelekile engokomzwelo yokuhlupheka, okwenzeka ngemuva kokulahleka kokuxhumana okunamandla kakhulu, kungaba nomuntu, isilwane, into ethile noma okuhle okungafani nalokho, njengokuqashwa, ngokwesibonelo.

Le mpendulo ekulahlekelweni iyahlukahluka kuye ngomuntu nomuntu, ngakho-ke asikho isikhathi esithile sokunquma ukuthi ukulila komuntu ngamunye kufanele kuhlale isikhathi esingakanani. Noma kunjalo, i-American Psychiatric Association ichaze eminye imingcele yokusiza ukukhomba usizi lwe-pathological, olungenampilo futhi okufanele lulashwe.

Indlela umuntu adabuka ngayo incike ezintweni eziningana, njengobudlelwano abenabo nomuntu oshonile, uhlobo lomndeni noma ukusekelwa komphakathi kanye nobuntu bomuntu ngamunye.

Izigaba eziyinhloko zokulila

Inqubo yokudabuka ihluke kakhulu komunye umuntu iye komunye, ngakho-ke kunezindlela eziningana zokuveza imizwa engabangelwa ukufa nokulahlekelwa. Kodwa-ke, kujwayelekile ukuthi inqubo yosizi ihlukaniswe ngezigaba ezi-5:

1. Ukuphika nokuzihlukanisa

Lapho uthola izindaba zokuthi kukhona umuntu noma umuntu obenobudlelwano obuqinile naye ulahlekile, kungenzeka ukuthi, ekuqaleni, umuntu angazikholwa lezi zindaba, kungenzeka abone ukusabela kokwenqaba.

Lokhu kusabela kungahambisana nokuhoxa kwabanye abantu, okuvame ukusebenzela ukusiza ekunciphiseni ubuhlungu neminye imiphumela emibi elethwa yilolu hlobo lwezindaba.

2. Intukuthelo

Esigabeni sesibili, ngemuva kokuthi umuntu ewuphikile lo mcimbi, imizwa yolaka ivame ukuvela, engahambisana nezinye izimpawu ezinjengokukhala njalo nokucasula kalula, ngisho nabangani kanye nomndeni. Kungase kube khona ukungahlaliseki nokukhathazeka.

3. Ukuxoxisana

Ngemuva kokuzwa imizwa yolaka nentukuthelo, kuyinto ejwayelekile ukuthi lowo muntu aqhubeke nokuba nobunzima ekwamukeleni iqiniso futhi, ngakho-ke, angazama ukufinyelela esivumelwaneni ukuphuma kuleso simo abhekene naso. Kulesi sigaba, umuntu angaze azame nokwenza isivumelwano noNkulunkulu, ukuze konke kubuyele esimweni obekuso ngaphambili.

Lolu hlobo lokuxoxisana luyehluka kuye ngomuntu futhi luvame ukwenziwa ngokungazi, ngaphandle kokuthi ulandelelwa ngudokotela wezengqondo noma wezifo zengqondo.

4. Ukucindezeleka

Ngalesi sigaba umuntu ungena enkambisweni yokujwayela isimo futhi, ngakho-ke, kungahle kube nemizwa yokuba buthakathaka, ukungazethembi, ukulimala kanye nokufisa.

Kulesi sigaba lapho umuntu eqala khona ukuba nomqondo omkhulu weqiniso nokuthi okwenzekile akukwazi ukuxazululwa. Kulesi sigaba lapho kunconywa ukulandelwa kwesazi sokusebenza kwengqondo ukusiza ukujwayela iqiniso elisha, ukuze ungene esigabeni sokugcina sokulila.

5. Ukwamukela

Lesi yisigaba sokugcina senqubo yokudabuka, lapho umuntu eqala khona ukuthola imikhuba abenayo ngaphambi komcimbi odale ukulahleka, aqale kabusha inqubo yakhe ejwayelekile yansuku zonke. Kukulesi sigaba lapho umuntu futhi etholakala kakhulu ebudlelwaneni bezenhlalo nabangane nomndeni.

Ungayinqoba kanjani inqubo yokudabuka

Ukulahlekelwa othandekayo umcimbi owenzeka ezimpilweni cishe zawo wonke umuntu futhi ohambisana nemizwa nemizwa eminingi. Amanye amasu angasiza ngesikhathi senqubo yile:

1. Thatha isikhathi esidingekayo: bonke abantu bahlukile futhi bahlangabezana nomcimbi ofanayo ngendlela ethile. Ngaleyo ndlela, asikho isikhathi esinquma ukuthi umuntu kufanele azizwe kahle nini. Okubalulekile ukuthi umuntu ngamunye aphile ngenqubo ngejubane lakhe, ngaphandle kokuzizwa ecindezelekile;
2. Funda ukwamukela ubuhlungu nokulahlekelwa: umuntu kufanele agweme ukufuna ezinye izindlela zokuthatha isikhathi nengqondo, ngoba ukugwema ukucabanga ngesimo, ukusebenzisa umsebenzi noma ukuzivocavoca umzimba, ngokwesibonelo, kungagcina kubambezele inqubo yosizi futhi kwandise ukuhlupheka;
3. Veza imizwa yakho: akunconywa ukuvimbela imizwa nemizwa ngesikhathi sosizi futhi, ngakho-ke, kunconywa ukuthi uveze lokho okuzwayo. Akufanele kube namahloni noma ukwesaba ukukhala, ukuthethisa noma ukukhuluma nabanye abantu osondelene nabo noma isazi sokusebenza kwengqondo noma udokotela wezifo zengqondo, isibonelo;
4. Joyina iqembu lokusekela: lokhu kuyindlela enhle kulabo abangafuni ukwenza amaseshini ngazinye ngongcweti. Kula maqembu, abantu abaningana ababhekene nezimo ezifanayo bakhuluma ngalokho abakuzwayo kanye nolwazi lwabo olungasiza abanye;
5. Zizungeze nabantu obathandayo: ukuchitha isikhathi nabantu obakhathalelayo futhi abanezindaba ezifanayo ukuxoxa ngazo, kusiza inqubo yosizi, ikakhulukazi uma ihlobene nomuntu, isilwane noma into elahlekile.

Ngaphezu kwalezi zindlela, kuhlale kuyindlela enhle ukubonisana nochwepheshe, ofana nodokotela bengqondo noma udokotela wezifo zengqondo, ozokwazi ukuhlola leli cala bese ephakamisa nezinye izindlela zokukusiza unqobe kangcono inqubo yosizi.

Ungabhekana kanjani nosizi ezinganeni

Ukuchazela ingane ukuthi othile okhethekile udlulile akuyona into elula, noma kunjalo, kukhona amasu athile angasiza ukwenza inqubo ibe lula futhi ingabi nabuhlungu kangako, njengokuthi:

• Khuluma iqiniso: ukufihla amanye amaqiniso kungenza ukuthi ulwazi losizi lube buhlungu futhi ludide kakhulu, ngoba ingane kungenzeka ingatholi nencazelo ngokwenzekayo;
• Veza iminyakazo nemizwa: lena indlela yokubonisa ukuthi ingane nayo ingazizwa inohlobo olufanayo lwemizwa nokuthi lokhu kuyinto ejwayelekile ngokuphelele;
• Ungabuzi omunye umuntu: abazali imvamisa yibona bantu ababaluleke kakhulu ngokomzwelo enganeni futhi, ngakho-ke, kumele babe khona ngesikhathi sezindaba ukuze banikeze ukuphepha okuthile. Uma lokhu kungenzeki, izindaba kumele zinikezwe ngomunye umuntu osondelene ngokomzwelo, njengomkhulu, ugogo noma umalume, isibonelo;
• Ukukhetha indawo ethule: lokhu kugwema ukuphazamiseka okungadingekile futhi kuvumela ukuxhumana okuseduze nengane, ngaphezu kokwenza indawo lapho kulula khona ukuveza imizwa;
• Ungasebenzisi imininingwane eminingi kakhulu: ngokufanelekile, izindaba kufanele zinikezwe ngendlela elula, ecacile nethembekile, ngaphandle kokufaka imininingwane eyinkimbinkimbi noma eshaqisayo, okungenani zisencane.

Usizi lwezingane luyehluka kakhulu ngobudala, ngakho-ke lawa masu angadinga ukuguqulwa. Ngakho-ke, ukubonisana nodokotela wezengqondo wengane kungaba yindlela enhle kakhulu yokusiza ekuqondiseni inqubo yosizi yengane.

Kubalulekile futhi ukwazi ukuthi asikho isikhathi esikahle sokuxoxela ingane izindaba, ngakho-ke, umuntu akufanele alinde "umzuzu ofanele", ngoba lokhu kungadala ukukhathazeka okukhulu futhi kubambezele inqubo yosizi.

Uzoya nini kudokotela wezengqondo noma kudokotela wezifo zengqondo

Ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe kudokotela wezengqondo noma kudokotela wezifo zengqondo kungaba yindlela enhle yokuqinisekisa ukuthi inqubo yosizi enempilo ingafinyelelwa. Kodwa-ke, abantu abaningi bayakwazi nokulawula usizi lwabo, ngakho-ke uma ungakhululekile, akudingekile ngaso sonke isikhathi ukufuna usizo lochwepheshe.

Kodwa-ke, kunezimo lapho ukulila kungathathwa ngokuthi "akunampilo" noma kuyisifo, ikakhulukazi lapho imizwa ishubile ngokweqile noma ihlala isikhathi esingaphezu kwezinyanga eziyi-12, kubantu abadala, noma ngaphezulu kwezinyanga eziyisithupha, endabeni yezingane. Kulezi zimo, ukuqapha kochwepheshe kubalulekile.

Ezinye izimpawu ezingakhombisa inqubo yokulila "engenampilo", uma iqhubeka izinyanga ezimbalwa, yilezi:

• Isifiso esiqhubekayo sokuba nomuntu olahlekile;
• Ukuba nobunzima ekukholweni ekufeni kothandekayo;
• Ukuzizwa unecala;
• Isifiso sokufa ukuhlala nalo muntu;
• Ukulahlekelwa ukuzethemba kwabanye;
• Angisenayo intando yokuphila;
• Ukuba nobunzima ekugcineni ubungani noma imisebenzi yansuku zonke;
• Ukungakwazi ukuhlela kusengaphambili;
• Ukuzwa ukuhlupheka okungalingani nalokho okubhekwa "njengokujwayelekile".

Lolu hlobo losizi lungenzeka kunoma imuphi umuntu noma ubudala, noma kunjalo, luvame kakhulu kwabesifazane.