Inkinga Yasemidlife Kwabesifazane: Ungayithola Kanjani I-Lining Yakho Yesiliva

-Delile

• Ingabe inkinga yobudala bokubeletha inganekwane?
• Ngakho-ke ibukeka kanjani inkinga yezinsana eziphakathi kwabesifazane?
• Yini eletha inkinga yabesifazane?
• Ngokwengxenye kungokomzimba
• Ngokwengxenye kungokomzwelo
• Futhi ngokwenhlalo
• Yini ongayenza ngakho?
• Ulwelwesi lwesiliva

Sifaka imikhiqizo esicabanga ukuthi ilusizo kubafundi bethu. Uma uthenga ngezixhumanisi ezikuleli khasi, singathola ikhomishini encane. Nansi inqubo yethu.

Kufana nokuthi ubuka iWizard of Oz ngokuhlehla. Ngelinye ilanga, wonke umuntu uyacula futhi uyadansa. Imibala inamandla - amadolobha e-emerald, ama-ruby slippers, izitini eziphuzi - futhi into elandelayo uyazi, konke kumnyama nokumhlophe, kubunile njengensimu kakolweni yaseKansas.

Ingabe unenkinga yobudala bokubeletha? Ungazi kanjani ukuthi uzizwa kanjani, noma hhayi ukuzwa, ingabe ukucindezeleka, ukuqala kokunqamuka kokuya esikhathini, noma ingxenye evamile yokuguquka kusuka esigabeni esithile sempilo kuye kwesinye?

Ingabe inkinga yobudala bokubeletha inganekwane?

Isikhathi esithile, ochwepheshe bezempilo yengqondo bebexoxisana ngokuthi ngabe izingqinamba ezibangelwa yibanga eliphakathi nendawo zingokoqobo yini. Igama elithi "inkinga yezinsana eziphakathi nesikhathi sokuphila," ngemuva kwakho konke, akuyona inkinga yokuxilongwa eyaziwayo yempilo yengqondo. Futhi yize iningi labantu lingakutshela ukuthi iyini inkinga yesikhathi sokuphila, isifundo esisodwa sesikhathi eside sathola ukuthi bangu-26 kuphela abakhona baseMelika ababika ukuthi banayo.

Akunandaba ukuthi sikubiza ngokuthini, isikhathi eside sokugula nokubuza phakathi kuka-40 no-60 cishe sicishe sifinyelele kubo bobabili ubulili. Abaphenyi bazi amashumi eminyaka ukuthi injabulo ifinyelela ezingeni eliphansi ebusheni ngaphambi kokuphakama njengoba sikhula. Eqinisweni, amagrafu amaningi amise okwe-U ahlela iziqongo nezigodi zokwaneliseka komuntu siqu, ngezifundo zakamuva ezikhomba umehluko phakathi kwabesilisa nabesifazane.

Ngakho-ke ibukeka kanjani inkinga yezinsana eziphakathi kwabesifazane?

Kubukeka sengathi ukhala ekhaya lonke ushiya ingane yakho eboshelwe ekolishi. Kubukeka njengokuklanywa ngaphandle ocingweni lwenkomfa ngoba awusazi ukuthi kungani wenza lo msebenzi. Kubukeka sengathi isimemo sokuhlangana siminyene kudoti ngoba awuzange ube yilokho ohlela ukuba yikho. Njengokuvuka phakathi kobusuku, kusongwe ukukhathazeka kwezezimali. Njengokudivosa. Futhi ukunakekelwa okuphelile. Nokhalo awuluboni.

Izinkinga zeMidlife zake zachazwa ngokuya ngezinkambiso zobulili: Abesifazane babedidekile futhi bedumele ngezinguquko zobudlelwano nabesilisa ngezinguquko zomsebenzi. Njengoba abesifazane abaningi bephishekela imisebenzi futhi baba ngabondli, izinkathazo zabo zokuphila phakathi nesikhathi sokuphila ziye zanda. Ukuthi inkinga yesikhathi sokuphila maphakathi nesikhathi ibukeka kanjani incike kowesifazane ohlangabezana nayo.

Yini eletha inkinga yabesifazane?

Njengoba uNora Ephron ake asho, "Ngeke ube nguwe - ozinzile, ongaguquguquki - naphakade." Sonke siyashintsha, futhi inkinga yenkinga yokuphila phakathi nobudala bakhona.

Ngokwengxenye kungokomzimba

Ngesikhathi sokunqamuka kwesikhathi nokuya esikhathini, ukushintsha kwamahomoni kungadala noma kube nomthelela enkingeni. Ngokusho kodokotela baseMayo Clinic, ukwehla kwamazinga e-estrogen ne-progesterone kungaphazamisa ukulala kwakho, kwenze imizwa yakho igudluke, futhi kwehlise namandla akho. Ukunqamuka kokuya esikhathini nakho kungadala ukulahleka kwememori, ukukhathazeka, ukuzuza kwesisindo, nokwehla kwentshisekelo ezintweni obukade uzijabulela.

Ngokwengxenye kungokomzwelo

Ngesikhathi ufinyelela eminyakeni yobudala obuphakathi, kungenzeka ukuthi uzobe uhlangabezana nokuhlukumezeka noma ukulahlekelwa okuthile. Ukushona kwelungu lomndeni, ushintsho olukhulu ebunikazini bakho, isehlukaniso, ukuhlukunyezwa ngokomzimba noma ngokomzwelo, iziqephu zokubandlululwa, ukulahleka kwenzalo, isifo sezidleke esingenalutho nokunye okuhlangenwe nakho kungenzeka kukushiye unosizi oluqhubekayo. Ungazithola ungabaza izinkolelo zakho ezijule kakhulu nezinqumo zakho ezizethemba kakhulu.

Futhi ngokwenhlalo

Umphakathi wethu okhathalela intsha awuhlali unomusa kubantu besifazane asebekhulile. Njengabesifazane abaningi, ungazizwa ungabonakali uma usufinyelele eminyakeni yobudala obuphakathi. Ungazizwa unengcindezi yokufihla izimpawu zokukhula. Kungenzeka ukuthi unenkinga yokunakekela izingane zakho nabazali bakho asebekhulile ngasikhathi sinye. Kungenzeka kudingeke ukuthi wenze izinqumo ezinzima ngomndeni nangomsebenzi obekungadingeki ukuthi owesilisa ontanga yakho awenze. Futhi isehlukaniso noma igebe leholo lingasho ukuthi unezinkathazo ezingapheli zezezimali.

Yini ongayenza ngakho?

Ku “Ukufunda Ukuhamba Ebumnyameni,” uBarbara Brown Taylor uyabuza, “Kuthiwani uma ngingalandela olunye lwezinto engizesabayo ezinkulu kuze kufike emaphethelweni kwalasha, ngidonse umoya, ngiqhubeke? Alikho yini ithuba lokumangala ngokwenzeka ngokulandelayo? ” I-midlife ingaba ithuba elihle kakhulu lokuthola.

Uma ososayensi be-U-curve beqinisile, i-midlife malaise yakho ingazixazulula njengoba ukhula. Kepha uma ufuna ukugudluza inaliti kumitha yakho yokwaneliseka kungekudala, nazi ezinye izinto ongazenza. Khuluma nodokotela. Izimpawu eziningi zobunzima bokubeletha ziphakathi kokucindezeleka, ukuphazamiseka kokukhathazeka nokungalingani kwamahomoni. Uma uhlangabezana nobuluhlaza baphakathi nesikhathi sokuphila, udokotela wakho angakunika ukwelashwa kokushintsha ama-hormone, ama-anti-depressants, noma imithi elwa nokukhathazeka ukusiza ngezimpawu zakho.

Khuluma nomelaphi. Ukwelashwa kwengqondo, ukuqeqeshwa ngempilo, noma ukwelashwa kweqembu kungakusiza ubhekane nosizi, uphathe ukukhathazeka, futhi uhlele indlela eya ekugcwalisekeni okukhulu.

Khuluma nabangani bakho. Ucwaningo luka-2012 lukhombisa lokho abesifazane abaningi abakwaziyo ngokuzibonela mathupha: I-midlife ilula uma uzungezwe yindilinga yabangani. Abesifazane abanabangani banomuzwa omkhulu wenhlalakahle kunabo abangenayo. Ngisho namalungu omndeni awabi nomthelela omkhulu kangako.

Xhuma kabusha nemvelo. Ucwaningo lukhombisa ukuthi ukuchitha isikhathi ungaphandle, ngisho nemizuzu embalwa ngosuku, kungakhuphula imizwa yakho futhi kuthuthukise umbono wakho. Ukuhlala ngasogwini lolwandle,, nokuzivocavoca ngaphandle konke ukulwa nokudabuka nokukhathazeka.

Zama amakhambi asekhaya nokudla okunempilo. Nazi izindaba ezimnandi ngokwengeziwe: Usufinyelele eminyakeni yobudala lapho kungasadingeki uphinde udle ama-macaroni namasi ashisiwe. Yidla izinto ezinhle - imifino enamaqabunga, izithelo nemifino kuyo yonke imibala yothingo, amaprotheni anciphile. Ukudla kwakho kungakusiza uphile isikhathi eside futhi uzizwe ungcono. Izithako ze-Melatonin ne-magnesium zingakusiza ukuthi ulale kahle ebusuku, futhi zingasiza futhi ekunciphiseni ukukhathazeka.

Bhala phansi okufezile. Hhayi nje izinto ezinkulu ezifana nemiklomelo, iziqu, kanye neziqu zemisebenzi. Bhala konke phansi: ukuhlukumezeka osindile, abantu obathandile, abangane obasindisile, izindawo ozihambile, izindawo ozivolontiye kuzo, izincwadi ozifundile, izitshalo okwazile ukungazibulali. Le nkathi empunga akuyona yonke indaba yakho. Thatha isikhathi sokuhlonipha konke okwenzile nobekhona.

Thatha izinyathelo ezibheke ekusaseni elisha. Umbhali wamanoveli uGeorge Eliot uthe, "Akukaze kwephuze kakhulu ukuba yilokho okungenzeka ubuyikho." Thatha isifundo esiku-inthanethi, wenze ucwaningo ngenoveli, uvule iloli lokudla, noma uqale. Akudingeki ukuthi uguqule kabusha umndeni wakho noma umsebenzi wakho ukuze wenze ushintsho lwezinto ezibonakalayo enjabulweni yakho.

Funda. Funda izincwadi ezikukhuthazayo, zikunike amandla, noma zikushukumise ukuthi uzame okuthile okusha.

Nalu uhlu lokufundwa kwasemini. Ezinye zalezi zincwadi zizokunika amandla futhi zikukhuthaze. Abanye bazokusiza usizi. Abanye bazokuhlekisa.

• "Isibindi Esikhulu: Indlela Isibindi Sokuba Sengozini Siguqula Ngayo Indlela Esiphila Ngayo, Uthando, Umzali, Nokuhola" nguBrené Brown.
• "Inketho B: Ukubhekana Nobunzima, Ukwakha Ukuqina, Nokuthola Injabulo" nguSheryl Sandberg no-Adam Grant.
• "Uyi-Badass: Ungakuyeka Kanjani Ukungabaza Ubukhulu Bakho bese Uqala Ukuphila Impilo Emangazayo" kaJen Sincero.
• "Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear" ngu-Elizabeth Gilbert.
• "Ukufunda Ukuhamba Ebumnyameni" nguBarbara Brown Taylor.
• "Ngizizwa kabi Ngentamo Yami: Neminye Imicabango Yokuba Ngowesifazane" nguNora Ephron.
• "Shine On: Ungakhula Kanjani Okumangalisayo Esikhundleni Sokudala" nguClaire Cook

Ulwelwesi lwesiliva

"Inkinga ye-Midlife" ingaba elinye igama losizi, ukukhathala, nokukhathazeka okungathinta abantu isikhathi eside phakathi kweminyaka engama-40 nengama-60. Umsuka ungaba ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo, noma emphakathini.

Uma uhlangabezana nokuthile okufana nenkinga ye-midlife, ungathola usizo kudokotela, owelapha, noma othile kumbuthano wakho wabangane. Ukudla okunempilo, ukuzivocavoca umzimba, isikhathi esichithwe emvelweni, namakhambi emvelo kungasiza ukunciphisa izimpawu zakho kuze kudlule lesi sigaba sesikhashana.

Abesifazane basengozini ehlukile ekukhubazekeni kwempilo yasesizalweni, hhayi kuphela ngenxa yezinguquko emizimbeni yethu, kepha ngoba umphakathi ufuna ukuthi sibe ngabanakekeli, abondli, nezindlovukazi zasebuhleni ngasikhathi sinye. Futhi lokho kwanele ukwenza noma ngubani afune ukukhipha isiphepho sokuqala edolobheni.

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